Goodwriters for Goodreads discussion

68 views
Writing > Write or wrong?

Comments Showing 1-50 of 158 (158 new)    post a comment »
« previous 1 3 4

message 1: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments ....Well someone writes something or posts a link and people read it and critic it. Either they say the writer should write more or they have the whole thing wrong, meaning it's ok with many flaws. It's their own opinion.
Enjoy. -Critic


message 3: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Just to let you know, even though I created this doesn't mean that I'm the only one that has to talk on it. It's for everyone! =^)


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

I read chapter one of Beautiful Fear! It's an interesting new idea lol. I'm excited to see where Travis and Alex go in this story!


message 5: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Thnx! You need to write more chapters of your stories cuz im dying to read more. hahaha


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

I would love some criticism for this new idea. Only one person read it and she liked it, but no one else seems interested.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...


message 7: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Ill give it a try! =^)


message 8: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Question: If a lot of people view this page, then why don't they post some od their stuff. I Promise that I won't rip it apart....hahaha if that is any reassuring. =^)


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

I know. I wish that more of our people would participate in this group more. I really like this group and the people in it.


message 10: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments lol thnx. your story does sound good so i'll definitely give a review. Do ya want me to criticize?


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

Yes, definitely. Thank you


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

Megan wrote: "I know. I wish that more of our people would participate in this group more. I really like this group and the people in it."

Agreed. I don't know how to get everyone to be more active lol. I thought we'd have more writers here.


message 13: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Yes, although this group certainly has a fair share of views.

As for your story, Megan. It is freshly critiqued, but-I'll say this now-it was a veeeeeery interesting! Can ya write more? lol


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Thank you so much. I am working on the second chapter. Right now, I am keeping that as something to do on the side until I finish Frozen Revenge (if you care to read it: http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...). But I hope to really focus on The Lost Shadows soon!


message 15: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments No problem and I'll read that one too. I hope you liked my review.


message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

I did! My brother noticed the same thing about her name. He wanted it to be Evalynn, but that was the name of a girl in another book he read. I liked the name, so I just tweaked it a bit.


message 17: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Well, you can't please em all.


message 18: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments The books Torment, The Clockwork Angel, Paranormalcy, and Firelight are being given away on the blog called Babbling Flow! That is sooooooo cool! Here's the web link, http://www.babblingflow.blogspot.com. Everyone should totally enter! =^D


message 19: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Niiiiice! I'm excited about it! Wat bout you?


message 20: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Why not?


message 21: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments haha thats the same for me too but i still think its fun.Do you have any stories you want to post?


message 22: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Awwwwwww! Now I'm interested! Don't be shy!


message 23: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Well, do you have any other stories??


message 24: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Well, you could post them. If you want to. However, no ones gonna force ya.


message 25: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Why would you want to do that?


message 26: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Question: Does anyone know how those views got there? I tried to do that to other people's blogs but nothing happened. All it said was that 15 unique people viewed the topic.


message 27: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Lacey wrote: "Just because I think it's not that good and what's the point? Anyways, I still need to check yours when I get the time."

Aww, thnx. But you should definitely fix yours so I can read it then! =^)


message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

Maybe yes :)


message 29: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments I agree =^)


message 30: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments What's it called?


message 31: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Niiiiice!


message 32: by JC (new)

JC (ainathiel) Okay,
I wrote this a while ago, however I was very proud to get the whole thing out of my head and on paper or the internet. I plan to continue with the book concept, which is three connected short stories about three sisters.
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...
This story is also my failed Nanowrimo project.
It will be nice to read some constructive criticism.


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

Jo wrote: "Okay,
I wrote this a while ago, however I was very proud to get the whole thing out of my head and on paper or the internet. I plan to continue with the book concept, which is three connected sho..."


Hey Jo! Can you post a new topic with the links to your stories in it? Just title it Jo's Prose or something like that :) That way we can each have our own organized little folders. Sorry if this is really OCD lol.

You too, Lacey!


message 34: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Jo wrote: "Okay,
I wrote this a while ago, however I was very proud to get the whole thing out of my head and on paper or the internet. I plan to continue with the book concept, which is three connected sho..."


I'll get on it right away! Can't wait! =^)


message 35: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Okay, since many people view this topic I thought that some of you could give me some of your criticism =^) go ahead, rip it apart if you want to! ^-^

The Princess's Past:
There was a knock at the door.
“Are you almost finished?” She heard her mother’s familiar voice call through the thick wood. She stared into the mirror, clips in her teeth, fixing her hair into an up-do. “Yes Mother,” she called back, “I am almost done. You may enter.” And with that her mother danced, ever so gracefully, into the large bedroom. Gracefulness is what there family was known for, the girl (fixing her hair) thought to herself. Her hair was a deep chocolate brown, which made her sapphire-blue eyes just about shine in her mysterious gaze. She was slender, with pale skin that glistened every time she walked into the light. Her jaw tightened at the thought of sunlight. It’s not that she did not like it, it was simply because people would stare when sunlight hit her. Her skin would shine ever so faintly, but it was just enough to catch someone’s eye. Ever since she was little she knew that by all of the people who did know her (and she knew everyone, as it was required of a princess) never noticed her skin before. However, just one person would come into the town, see her sunlit skin, and freak out. Rarely, those kinds of visitors were driven away by the town’s people, since they would leave in a matter of one day and one night after they saw her. To them, she was considered a freak. She remembered standing at the town’s main gate; the same gate that brings foreigners into their land. No one told her that she was not allowed to go to the entrance, for the horses stables were located just to the left of it, and she loved to play with the horses. She especially loved to visit her white horse, Valarie, whom she received when she was two; Valarie was small at the time, but stuck to her rider like glue. “A new comer is commin this way! Look ova there! Hurry Victoria or you’ll miss ‘em!” John proclaimed, his smile wide. John was the stable keeper of the town. All horses were to be under his care. He was a close friend to the royal family, whom let Victoria help with managing the horses. She quickly looked at the gates entrance, amazement and curiosity filling her glittering blue eyes. Back then she was about six years of age. Her brown hair was long to her hips, and pulled back into a braid. Her eyes were bright blue and sparkling. “I see her! I see her! She’s beautiful, Johnny.” Her small soothing voice jumped an octave higher in excitement. Brushing the dirt off her jeans, and her flowery green top, she rushed, stumbling many times, towards the entrance where many of the townspeople gathered, in a crowd, to welcome the newcomer’s arrival. John was running next to her, catching her every time she was about to fall. As the stranger approached, the crowd fell silent, and Victoria wondered what was going on, until she heard her father’s voice like a melody, “Welcome to Cordelia, a land of many friendly faces,” he gestured a hand to the smiling crowd, “I am King Morganstern and this,” he put an arm around a slender, honey-blonde woman’s waist. The woman was standing next to him ever so proudly. “This is my beloved wife Juliet.” “Hello, and welcome to our humble town,” she sang, head held high. Victoria followed the sound of her mother and father as she squeezed her small, slender self through the crowd. “Excuse me. Pardon me,” she said with a lady-like posture. She finally stumbled out of the crowd and into the opening. “Victoria!” her mother squealed, reaching out to catch her as she fell. She looked up and smiled, the brightest smile she could, towards her mother. Then something suddenly caught her eye. She looked down. Sunlight. It made her skin feel warm, as she loved it, making her skin sparkle from her arms and neck to face and ears; every part of revealed skin sparkled. A gasp startled her, and suddenly she saw the woman. As beautiful as the strange woman was from far away, she was even more beautiful up close. She saw the fear in the woman’s eyes, which were lingering on her sparkly skin. The woman’s face turned pale as she reached down and grasped something. A boy. A small sandy-blond-haired boy, about her age of six, whom was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt, making his emerald-green eyes pop. There was something about those eyes, she thought, something familiar. Your eyes are so full of life, a voice, as if a child’s, loomed in her head. Victoria flinched, locking her gaze with the boys. His gaze was intense, like he was seeing her life from her own perspective. There was a crooked smile on his face that made her giggle, but it vanished as soon as the strange woman knelt down to him, her eyes still on Victoria’s skin. “I’m sorry, but this was a mistake,” she spoke, “we will have to leave.” With a nod from Victoria’s father, and a “We understand” from her mother, the strange woman and the boy vanished.
The boy’s eyes locked in Victoria’s memory forever.


message 36: by ~Tormiester~ (last edited Aug 01, 2010 04:08PM) (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Question: Would it be right if a person put on their coat and lay down on the bed or put it on on their way out the door? I am sorry for my confusion. -Critic


message 37: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Kumar (lisa_kumar) | 77 comments Tori wrote: "Okay, since many people view this topic I thought that some of you could give me some of your criticism =^) go ahead, rip it apart if you want to! ^-^

The Princess's Past:
There was a knock at th..."


Not a bad start but make it deeper by "showing, not telling." This means engaging the reader's senses--touching, seeing, tasting, etc.--it should make the reader feel all these things when the character experiences it. Go to your favorite novel that totally grips you in it's world when you are reading it and look at the language and flow of the passages.

Also avoid flowery descriptions that make the main character seem like a perfect Mary Sue. She may be beautiful but unless she's conceited she won't refer to her sapphire eyes. She'd just call them blue. Weave these details throughout your scenes and chapters so we're not being hit by them--make it natural.

Keep practicing. It really is an art!


message 38: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Understood. Very good criticism and I will definitely read over this before I write my second chapter. Thanks so much for your review!


message 39: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Kumar (lisa_kumar) | 77 comments Glad I could help! Oh, I forgot to mention when cutting and pasting, the formatting is gone (like paragraph indents). So if you had paragraphs, you'll have to go and put them back manually, from what I've experienced. It does make it easier on the eye :)


message 40: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Ummm......... Well... It was never in paragraph format to begin with. I wrote this about a year ago and never came across that formatting at all.... but I'll work on that.


message 41: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Kumar (lisa_kumar) | 77 comments That's okay. I know how it is when writing. I do that, too--just wanting to get the ideas down and not break the flow. I know I can always go back to flesh out the scene and fix grammar and formatting later.


message 42: by Patti (new)

Patti ok tors. im finally putting it up.

This is the story of Millie Finch, a girl who lost her boyfriend and her best friend at a drunken high school party. Casey went missing, but they didn't find a body, so Millie is convinced he's still alive. But if she does find him, will he be the same?

criticism is readily accepted, so i would definitely like opinions.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...


message 43: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Patti wrote: "ok tors. im finally putting it up.

This is the story of Millie Finch, a girl who lost her boyfriend and her best friend at a drunken high school party. Casey went missing, but they didn't find ..."


I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS STORY!!!!


message 44: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Lisa wrote: "That's okay. I know how it is when writing. I do that, too--just wanting to get the ideas down and not break the flow. I know I can always go back to flesh out the scene and fix grammar and form..."

Well, thanks. =^) Have you written anything, because you sound like you could write amazingly. =^)


message 45: by Lisa (last edited Aug 08, 2010 07:41PM) (new)

Lisa Kumar (lisa_kumar) | 77 comments Tori wrote: "Lisa wrote: "That's okay. I know how it is when writing. I do that, too--just wanting to get the ideas down and not break the flow. I know I can always go back to flesh out the scene and fix gra..."

Thanks for saying that! I don't know about amazingly--I'm still learning. I'm editing my first novel, and if you want to read my prologue, I can post it


message 46: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Definitely!!!!!!!! =^D


message 47: by Lisa (last edited Aug 07, 2010 10:30AM) (new)

Lisa Kumar (lisa_kumar) | 77 comments Tori wrote: "Definitely!!!!!!!! =^D"

Prologue is in this group's writing folder under Lisa's prologue. Enjoy, or try to :) Tell me what you think, good or bad.


message 48: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments Wow. It was so beautiful that not even words can describe it. I am not saying this in an offensive way, but the story reminds me of the book called "Wildwood Dancing." That was one of my favorite books, but this is even more beautiful than my mind could comprehend. I will definitely buy this book when it comes out. The guy with the black hair intrigues me though... He was angry, yet he ordered for Cal's hair to be retrieved. Or could it be that he intended for Cal to follow the strands to him, follow the strands so he could take her and probably ask her questions... Do you see how great this is? You have made me think questionably, and when I think questionably I then become more interested and intrigued. Thus, I wish to read more. I truly cannot wait until your book is finished and finalized and in the stores. It is books such as yours and Wildwood Dancing that have created the alternate personality that I use. -Critic


message 49: by Lisa (last edited Aug 08, 2010 07:51PM) (new)

Lisa Kumar (lisa_kumar) | 77 comments Tori wrote: "Wow. It was so beautiful that not even words can describe it. I am not saying this in an offensive way, but the story reminds me of the book called "Wildwood Dancing." That was one of my favorite b..."

Wow! Thanks! Your words are really a confidence booster. In the next month or so (hopefully), I will seek publication. But I'll have to see if I have any takers on it. Wish me luck!


message 50: by ~Tormiester~ (new)

~Tormiester~ (hatsoff343) | 110 comments May your luck guide you to places unknown.
May it shine, May it shimmer everywhere that you go!

Basically, GOOD LUCK! =^D



« previous 1 3 4
back to top