Girls!?!? discussion

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Love! > Pls spare some time and suggest me what i should I do

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message 1: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments I needed some good , feasible advise and help with this...This started when i was in the final year of my schooling...
The guy I am talking about is Akshay...He is the one I will consider my best friend and love all through my life no matter he has lost all the reasons to care for me now...
Our relation started with a very good friendship where we used to spend hours together talking to each other....spending time around and then one night he asked me what does he means for me....I felt a lil shy about this thing and moreover I wasn't expecting him to ask me this...I answered his question with all that I felt for him...except saying "I love you"...he replied back saying"you are not going to say it ...so lemme say it....I love you..."
And then everything started on such a beautiful note....everything seemed just perfect....
we never had any arguments, no fights.. everything in our relation was just so perfect...
He went to pursue his graduation in engineering & even i went for the same...but in different colleges..different states of the country.....
we used to talk daily and used to spend time with each other once we were back to our hometown for our holidays...
things started getting bad when i had to leave my graduation and come back home to pursue a different course....I had a very well justified reason for doing so...I was depressed back at hostel so my mom and dad brought me back home....
In order to just take a preventive measure they took me to a Psychiatrist and I had some sessions with him...he gave me few medicines cause of which the hormonal balance of my body got disturbed and as a side effect i gained weight without eating too...
It had been almost two years till now from the time we said it for the first time....
and in this time period we came close in every possible way...
he was very concerned while I came back home...my mom asked him not to be in touch with me ,,and he did so....but one fine day..when I was at my grandparents' place..he came down to see me with his friend and told me EVERYTHING would be fine...
I trusted him so much..and believed every word he said...
but nearly after I came out of this depression thing..akshay met me one fine day and said he feels we should part ways now...just give this thing a lil break and stop saying I love you....
I found it too hard to acceppt and I tried everything possible to make him change his mind...at times he would agree with me..and at time she wouldn't....
this continued for the time we came down to 4 years of us saying it for the first time...
He now says he doesn't want to talk to me also....
as to i have changed...and am no longer the person he loved....but the truth is that he had stopped seeing those things in me...
Is this enough from my side to let you know what is going on....or should I elaborate more???


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

um so um....i think tht is he doesn' like u thn its his lause and not urs,jst have fun w/ wat u got now mayb latr hell realize tht he wuz wrng so tell him "HAHA NO"


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

I think he's seeing another girl. That's what it's all about. Just turn to God instead.


message 4: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments I just want to say that I am not on anyones side.... okay??? So... I mean it could be all for different reasons..... I mean I am just a teenager, and have been no where near a serious relationship..... But maybe he was just going through a time and you werent really "there" for him..... I mean in life we are always changing and maybe himself he changed...... that he still cared for you as a friend but could not continue into anything more as a couple...... and he thought it would be best to stop contact with you all together.... even though he probably had to figure that it would hurt you ... but in the end it might be better for you in the long run to let him go and find some one who can truly love you back and move on in your life and change just as he did, and just how he wanted you too....... also though if you guys were trully ment to be together, you would be...... but if he is just being a b**** about it then forget the stupid guy and move on..... he doesnt deserve you or anyother girl.


message 5: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments thnx kjirsten,lyndsey and Rose
I know whatever Rose wrote is almost next to what I feel is the truth....
I've lost all faith in this word "LOVE"
it'l take me a real long time to forget him and what all he made me feel and see in future...
u know somthing people speak bad about the person who they love so much...almost all my friends who've had a break ..they do...but I find it so hard to even hear anything bad about him....even knowing the fact he betrayed me and left me deserted with nobody around to even share what I feel....
I find it so hard to forget him....I just hope..whatever happened makes me what I wanna be in life...
N yaa ty:) for sparing in your time:)


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

forgive urself 4 liking him and 4get he evr exzistd


message 7: by Rose (last edited Jun 29, 2010 02:33PM) (new)

Rose | 755 comments I would not forget that he ever existed.... you know that thing that people say "never regret those who once made you smile" I believe it i wont regret it but i wont forget what they did.... and once i remember what they did i will use that to get stronger and live my life of how I want to, not letting them ruin it again..... but I will certianly not forget what they did too me....... but i will remember that for some time they really did care about me and i think that you should do the same Reesham....... and if he tries talking to you, trying to make it up to you I would tell him strait up that at the moment you can not let him in your life for what he did...... but that it will take some time getting to be able to trust him again...... and even then, you will most likely be very hesitant of what you tell him and how you take what he tells you....... because I doubt that you will let your self fall as hard for him again..... mind over matter :) brains over heart really...... most of the time listen to your heart, but right now I think that you need to listen to your mind because your heart might say to forgive and forget and love him again. but you are smart enough to not give into that, knowing that it will hurt you all over again if he can not return that same love for you.......

on a more teenage level or as my friends put it "guys might say, 'bros before hos' but we have more to look too :) 'chicks before di***' 'cats before dogs' and 'x before y' ":) lol sorry I had to say that my friends were saying it earlier today..........


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

lol


message 9: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments sorry also what does N yaa ty mean???? I think it is thank you but in what language???


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

i have no idea


message 11: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

yea


message 13: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments .... Sad song is on my ipod right now it makes me want to cry lol


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

wow


message 15: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments Yeah ........any way hope I helped:)


message 16: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments it means thank you(TY)...English..
My friends and me use this while playing mafia wars(FB):)...It's kinda the game lingo...
Rose you've given me a real good advice none of my friends gave....
They all've been like "move on"..."he doesn't deserve you" and that's it...but you made it sound pretty simple...
thanx..


message 17: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments Your welcome :) I swear I should become like a therapist or something.... or whatever it is that helps people talk.... idk what it is but your very welcome :)


message 18: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments and its not very simple....its really hard to move thorugh a spot like this in life....... but it will make you feel so good in the long run to know that you made it through this....


message 19: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments I just hope it does make me feel the same way you are putting this thing as...


message 20: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments sometimes it does..... and sometimes it doesnt........ but just be careful okay??? that goes for every one :P


message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

yea i think it is a therapist..hey it has a cuss wrd in the name XD


message 22: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments it does..... what word??? im lost... O.o


message 23: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments Rose wrote: "Your welcome :) I swear I should become like a therapist or something.... or whatever it is that helps people talk.... idk what it is but your very welcome :)"

Psyciatrist? Or however you spell it.


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

ther O_O its the bad wrd!


message 25: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments What is you are hurting my brian !!!! loli named my brain brian lol hehe ;)


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

THERapist
_________


message 27: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments That's not a bad word… it's just illegal.


message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

i kno lol


message 29: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments And you were showing it wrong… it would be THErapist.


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

HOLY SHIT i C THE WRD RAPIST in THERAPIST


message 31: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments Yeah… isn't that what you were talking about?


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

yea lol i jst like caps soooooo much


message 33: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments Ok…


message 34: by [deleted user] (new)

yea theyr ausum jst like mi cooki


message 35: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments *whispering to self* ok, Dovewing, back away slowly… jk


message 36: by [deleted user] (new)

....meani lol jk


message 37: by Dovewing (new)

Dovewing | 23 comments Lol


message 38: by [deleted user] (new)

lmao


message 39: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments ooooooooooo I SEE IT NOW!!!


message 40: by [deleted user] (new)

don' u?


message 41: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments Yeah:)


message 42: by [deleted user] (new)

lol


message 43: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments ha wow never thought about that before


message 44: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments thanku girls for sparing me out this time and advice...
lemme tell you all something

It was my b'day on this 3rd that has gone...
all through the day I felt as if it was just like any normal day!!
you know that feeling you have inside when it's your b'day...I just din't have an iota of it all through...I was waiting for him to call and wish me the same night but he din't...when I was with my friends out for dinner..he called up ...and wished me..asked about how was I doin...and other realted things...we laughed about things...and he said "Do whatever you want to, but just be safe"
and we did talk a day after that too.... ^_^
I ve been gifted a pup by one of my friends who has lately started taking a lot of interest in me...
And I at times feels so wierd about whatever this guy says...
It's just so complicated...
I am somebody who jsut cannot get down on a decision on my own...All through the past four years it was Akshay...and now when I don't have him for it..I just feel so helpless..

why can't life be like what I want it to be??
Or maybe gimme an optionto go back and make a few changes to what I did to make it better than what it is at present..... :(


message 45: by Rose (new)

Rose | 755 comments Life is like that dear .... complicated..... but for me i think that every one happens for a reason...... and later in life we should be able to look back and say that we liked what our life gave us....

now enough zen lessons :O if this guy is really trying to be there for you as a friend, then give him a chance to be just that :) you can never have too any friends in life :)


message 46: by Naomi (new)

Naomi (Goodreadscomwheeze) | 23 comments Well... people do grow apart, and there's this saying that I absolutely love.
"I'm in a love with a memory"
Being apart, you two grew into two seperate different people, and when you were greeted with the sight of your old friend i'm sure you felt madly in love. But how could you be? if you hadn't seen him.
You were in love with his memory.

Let yourself LIKE other people, let yourself enjoy other men's presences. Let yourself have fUN without him. And in time, the pain will lessen. But a peice of your heart will always belong to Akshay, just not in the way it used to. Because your heart will have made room for another.

Life never does what we want it to. Life always goes the other way. And we have to learn to accept it, and let the wind take us where it wishes.

The best of luck. And all my love,
-Naomi


message 47: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments hmmm..even I think and feel it would be best to have him around just as a friend...if that's what all he wants...
for whatever it takes....I just don't want to be deserted and be left alone with no one around who understand me...
and thanku Rose for the good advice....
n umm sure you'd become a good therapist or a psychiatrist(I hope I spelled it right) :)


message 48: by Naomi (new)

Naomi (Goodreadscomwheeze) | 23 comments Keep him as a good friend, keep him close. But don't lie to yourself and give yourself the space you need.


message 49: by Reesham (new)

Reesham | 12 comments Ya I am always ready to have him as a good friend..I'd always consider him my best friend..no one ever can take his place in my life..
But the fact still remains if or not he wants me to be his friend or not....
I ve learnt a lot from him...and he has made me see the bright side of things in life when I was deep down in hell..
I'd be endebted to him all my life for all that he did for me....he stood by me when I needed someone to hold on to...And I can never ever forget that...


message 50: by Naomi (new)

Naomi (Goodreadscomwheeze) | 23 comments Don't forget, hold on to those memories with all you have. Because that's your FRIEND. But there are times, when we have to accept the fact that people can't be more than friends.


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