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Weekly Poetry Stuffage > Week 45 (June 6th-13th) poems----Topic: Illnesses DONE!!

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message 1: by Maggie (last edited Jun 06, 2010 08:09AM) (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments A Day Off

Oh a cough
a sneeze
and a cold
is all I need to stay home

If I fake
my butt will break
for mom will catch my act

To be out of school
a illness I need
my head needs not to be cool


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Mental Illness

I think of men in,
dresses and women in suits,
I'm mentally ill.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Thanks !!!! LOL!!!

It's been a while since I did a Haiku.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Cool! That is how I feel after being at the loo, for way too long.


message 5: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments Thanks!


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Hey Maggie, Are you in Summer School?


message 7: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments Love both your guys' poems!


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Thanks!


message 9: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments Welcome


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Did you see my question?


message 11: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments What Question?


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Message 9


message 13: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments Oh, no.Not till second session you?


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Both, what class?


message 15: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments History 2


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Oh..... I take History 1


message 17: by Maggie (new)

Maggie (magfly) | 87 comments Oh


message 18: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Lol, Thomas, beautifully simple! I love it!


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Thanks


message 20: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Yup


message 21: by Kristen (last edited Jun 07, 2010 08:45AM) (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments Fainting Spell

The world spins
dizzy
vision blurs

I collapse
unconscious
on the ground

Trouble breathing
heart pounding
head aching

Fever sets in
I'm cold
burning up

They make me drink
fluids in
stomach aches

Just want to sleep
so tired
need rest


message 22: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Wow, Kristen. Loved it! :)

And Thomas and Maggie.... are you being serious? :P Tsk tsk... HA!
No, loved both of them! Oh, Thomas... are you trying to make everyone laugh their bum off week to week? Because it's working. LOL!

Oh, Al! I almost forgot your poem! Excellent as always my dear. :)
And Kristen, just wanted to point out that you spelled "trouble" wrong. :)


message 23: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Kristen, may I make a suggestion? Make it flow more. It's kind of disruptive for me to read.


message 24: by mic (last edited Jun 07, 2010 07:03AM) (new)

mic | 82 comments Stephanie wrote: "Kristen, may I make a suggestion? Make it flow more. It's kind of disruptive for me to read."

Sometimes I would agree, but here I like the way the choppiness reminds me of the pain of an upset stomach or a headache, not to mention the short thoughts that go through my head when it hurts too much to think normally (especially that last stanza: nice one, Kristen). Sickness isn't flowing and pretty.


message 25: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments It seems like she's more portraying the thoughts of someone who's passing out than poetry. And I don't mean toi sound mean, Kristen! Really! Sorry if I do, I'm just not sure how to convey what I mean propperly. Sorry.


message 26: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marincic Hiestermann | 519 comments I don't mind the criticism guys. And thanks Han for the typo check! But I think I'm going to leave it the way it is. I don't really like to edit my poetry after I've finished writing usually, my poetry tends to come all out at one time.


message 27: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments You're welcome, Kristen. And I totally can relate to that. I'm the same way; I write most my poems in like 10 minutes, and I never change them afterwards. I think the first time you write it is the best version of the poem. :)


message 28: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments I know I do. It's been so long since I've written anything. :(


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Thanks everyone for your comments! No, I am not trying to make everyone laugh, but that does sound like a good contest...... MAKE THE FUNNIEST POEM/STORY!!!


message 30: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments :D Haha, that would be a good idea, and a workable one if we didn't have you to compete against. :P


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Ahhhh...... So sad! I will try not to work...... JK! XD

YOU HAVE NOT SEEN MY CRAZIEST/FUNNIEST WORK EVEN!!!!!!


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Maybe I should just have a Loo poem, it would win, I suppose.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments I will think about it.


message 34: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Wow. That would be some challenge. It can be hard to pull off comedy.


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Here's a funny poem.

Listen here,
listen well,
in my world,
you will dwell.

Congratulations,
do you know why?
Your face is the target,
for a lemon meringue pie!

Would you look at that....
Oh noes!
made you look,
at your toes.

Made a man chuckle,
made a man howl,
too bad he's,
only in a towel.

My life is fun,
or is it,
you can go now,
but come again for a visit!


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Yeah, I don't think its that funny, but it is an example.


message 37: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Strange... but hilarious, Thomas. :)


Thomas (Marimbapanda) | 328 comments Yeah.....


message 39: by Stephanie (last edited Jun 08, 2010 03:48PM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Strange...

Title: Death By Illness

It was just a cold
Only a sniffle
Not much to worry about
But now I'm old

My skin is wrinkled
My eyes are tired
My legs are crippled
And I'm retired

I cough and hack
The monitor stops beeping
My breath comes in gasps
And I stop breathing


message 40: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy *cough


message 41: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Careful about that coughing- you could die! haha


message 42: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy no, i mean you spelled it wrong lol it says couch


message 43: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Oh, *facepalm* sorry. I do know how to spell it- typo. Grr!


message 44: by Kimathy (last edited Jun 08, 2010 03:50PM) (new)

Kimathy lol its OK i read it and was like...couch? what the heck is that supposed to be? :D


message 45: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Oh yeah I couch and hack! THEN I die!


message 46: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy hahaha :P


message 47: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments Hehehe. g2g, bye


message 48: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy see ya.


message 49: by Stephanie (last edited Jun 08, 2010 04:46PM) (new)

Stephanie (chasmofbooks) | 2875 comments I'm back- dinner.


message 50: by Kimathy (new)

Kimathy cool, i can smell ma din-din cookin'! :P


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