Goodreads Feedback discussion

Suggestions & Questions > I don't quite know what this is about, but oh well

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message 1: by Sara (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:16PM) (new)

Sara (thecrazygal) | 165 comments This doesn't have much to do with books although it does have to do with this website. This girl sent me a friend request, and I checked out her profile, you know, to make sure she was 'okay' (I do that in case my parents want to see my 'friends'...if they have books I can read, then they're probably acceptable). I didn't really care for the books she read and I just knew that we didn't have much in common (I also knew that if my parents saw that I had her as a friend, and saw the books she read they would freak). Yet I'm feeling slightly guilty that I refused/deleted her friend request-but I just want 'friends' with similar interests as me, so that we actually have books we've both read and can talk about. SHOULD I feel guilty? Oh-I have an idea, Otis, for another feature-we should be able to see how many people (not counting ourselves visiting our own profiles) have viewed our profiles, excluding friends. I know that there is a 'most viewed profiles of the week' thing in 'meet people'; but it would be nice to be able to go right to 'home' and see how many people have viewed our profiles even if we aren't on the 'most viewed profiles' thing.

message 2: by Rob (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:16PM) (new)

Rob McMonigal | 41 comments I wouldn't feel guilty--perhaps, though, a comment on her account saying, "Sorry, my parents would freak" might be in order, though...


message 3: by Alien (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:17PM) (new)

Alien  Citizen | 18 comments Oh, come comment is necessary at all. A stranger asked you to be on their friends list. You said no. End of story. If they have any good sense then they won't be offended. I wouldn't be.

message 4: by rivka, librarian moderator (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:17PM) (new)

rivka | 12269 comments Mod
I agree with Alien.

message 5: by Don (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:17PM) (new)

Don (wickenden) | 16 comments I agree with Alien as well.

Every site has its reasonable practice. This site specifically suggests that you add people you know. Someone who adds you you aren't interested in doesn't require anything from you, and that isn't rude at all.

But, even if there weren't such a message on this site (where you go to add friends) I would still say that there is no requirement ever to respond to a request from a person wanting to "friend" you if you're not interested.


message 6: by jko (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:19PM) (new)

jko | 3 comments i think a lot of people (including myself) request to be added as a friend because it allows them to automatically see what a person with an interesting book list and/or profile is reading. this might be solved by creating an of interest/favorites/voyeur section. my sense of how this would work is simple. instead of asking miss intrigue goodreads to be my friend, i would simply add her (without requiring her consent (unless she is a private profile), but perhaps giving her notification) to my voyeur file, which would be accessible only to me (it would not be part of my viewable profile.). then, i could easily click on her picture to get to her profile and see what she's up to.

in most cases, i don't have a lot of interest in being friendly with people i don't know, but i am quite interested in thoughtful and intriguing individuals' book activity. and, it would cut down on the annoyance/guilt of receiving and declining the friend requests of people to whom one does not feel all that connected.

just a thought....

message 7: by Michael (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:19PM) (new)

Michael | 39 comments I send friend requests to people who like the books I like - or a significant percentage of them. I also try and add local readers. If whomever it is doesn't add me back, it's all good. I can understand why some users might be hesitant to have large(r) friends lists (or add strangers)!

message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

I definitely think you're in the ethical right on this one Hannah, refusing a request from someone whom you have nothing in common with isn't just a perfectly justifiable action, it's much less prone to the moral hand wringing that occurs when you allow a request from someone who irritates the bejesus out of you & you find yourself in the dubious position of wondering if they'll notice when you can eventually no longer stand it & delete them from your profile in a moment of rage & frustration.

...or so I hear.

message 9: by Otis, Chief Goodreader (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:19PM) (new)

Otis Chandler | 4184 comments Mod

I almost don't even need to answer because you've already gotten so much good advice here! But I agree - you get to choose your friends, and should definitely have no guilt about denying someone you don't know.

In general we believe Goodreads is mostly useful for keeping track of people you know. It doesn't matter whether you know them in real life or you meet them here - so I also understand and agree with JK.

message 10: by Gary (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:20PM) (new)

Gary | 69 comments So, what *does* happen when you click on the "Deny" button for friend requests?

message 11: by Otis, Chief Goodreader (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:20PM) (new)

Otis Chandler | 4184 comments Mod
Nothing, except the friend request is removed from your friend requests page. Perhaps we should call this 'ignore' instead of 'deny'?

message 12: by Lisa (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:20PM) (new)

Lisa Vegan (LisaVegan) | 8939 comments I do like ignore better.

message 13: by Laura (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:20PM) (new)

Laura (laurahogan) | 228 comments Yeah, I think there should be some indication to the person making the friend request that the request has been denied. I know I'd rather hear right away, "Sorry, your friend request has been denied" than have to wonder whether the person just hasn't seen the request yet, or has turned it down, or what. Maybe an e-mail along the same lines of the "you're now friends with such and such" e-mail that the system sends.

message 14: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:20PM) (new)

Jessica Haider (jessicahaider) | 83 comments With the current functionality, I like the idea of calling it "ignore" instead of "deny". Deny sounds like it might send out an email to the requestor telling them they've been denied.

message 15: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:20PM) (new)

Jessica | 99 comments When you actual hit "deny" you get a message screen that says something about the request being deleted from your box. "Delete" would work as a substitute for "deny." (and I agree it would be a useful distinction, because I was a little worried that sending a deny message would look like a diss, instead of just ignoring it)

message 16: by Otis, Chief Goodreader (last edited Aug 25, 2016 12:21PM) (new)

Otis Chandler | 4184 comments Mod
Thanks so much for the feedback! I like "delete" best, so we'll change it to that.

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