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Weekly Short Story Contests > Week 35 (March 8th-15th) Stories---Topic: Betrayal DONE!!

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message 1: by Paul (new)

Paul | 61 comments Hi,thanks for everyone you voted for me in the last topic. Everyone was great and were equal winners for just making the effort. Pity about the other members!

message 2: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments Congrats, Paul!

message 3: by Hanzleberry (new)

Hanzleberry (doughboyissweet) | 1065 comments Yes, I will hand out the unicorns soon... I have to leave in a few minutes. I will try to get it done tonight, though. :]

message 4: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) WHOOP!! GO PAUL!!! yey betrayal!! this one's gonna be fun!!!

message 5: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) Title: I Still Love Them
By Esther
Word Count: 1220 (exactally!)

A/N I actually didn't do this in 20 minutes like usual and got sorta carried away... im going to make this the first chapter of a book... k?

I feel the wind sweep the hair out of my face then drop it lightly on my shoulders, then sweep it out of my face again. I breath the sweet smell of salt water and fresh, crisp air. I look down at the beach. Water moving in and out, back and forth. Small waves crashing. Betraying the harsh, storm that almost killed me, but managed to kill my relationship with everyone I love the most. I close my eyes and picture the night.

"Hey Cathy!"
I look up from my sketch book and smile at my best friend Carly.
"Hey Carls."
"So ya ready?"
"For what?"
"Dan says he can take us out on his dad's boat!"
"Really?!" Dan was our friend, my boy friend actually, that's dad has a boat on the beach.
"When is he going to meet us?"
"Actually, my parents, Dan's parents, your parents and Donny and Pam are, too. At 7 o'clock sharp." Carly said. Donny was Carly's older brother and Pam was my little 14 year old sister, only 3 year's younger than me.
"Really? Everyone! That's great! Oh, I have to go home, I'll see you there!" I said walking away and waving. Once she was out of sight I looked at the picture I was drawing. I predicted right. The picture was of me and Dan together on his dad's boat, and everyone else behind us. It started to move, I heard music and I saw myself closing my eyes and sighing as I leaned against Dan. I have this power, anything I draw is a prediction, and then it starts to move showing the night. I smiled at the picture then I put it into my bag.

I should have kept the picture out, then maybe I would see the horror of what would happen on that boat. I shake my head and close my eyes again.

It's 7 o'clock and I'm waiting at the bay with my family. Then I see Carly and Dan come around the same time. "Hey guys!"
They looked like they were talking before they looked at me and said together, "Hey Cathy."
Something seemed wrong about that but I ignored it and got onto the boat. I felt the familiar feel of the ocean under me and smiled. It was just as I saw in the picture. I leaned against Dan and sighed happily, Just like I predicted. I thought.
"Hey Cathy," Dan said.
"Mmhm...?" I mumbled.
"There's something I have to say about your powers, that everyone has to say about your powers."
My happy time broke and became serious. I looked at him, "What?" My voice sharper then it was meant to be. Usually if my voice was to sharp Dan would flinch but he didn't move.
"We don't think..." He said looking away from me for a second, as if starting to change his mind.
"You don't think what?"
Carly grunted, "Dan, It's now or never."
He looked at her and nodded, "It's not fair that you can see the future. Everyone deserves to see theirs."
I gasped, "Dan, I didn't choose to have powers."
"No, but you do choose to draw, frequently. And we don't like it."
"Well, I certainly didn't see this."
Dan slightly laughed, "Yes, ironic isn't it? You have powers that are supposed to help you, but it just brings you this trouble and it doesn't even pay you back by showing you what we're going to do."
"Going to do? Mom? Dad? Pam? Are you in on this too?" I looked at them. I expected them to shake their heads, or at least a shameful nod. But they crudely smiled and nodded.
"Of course! You're so annoying!" Pam said. "'Hey Pam? Guess what's going to happen tomorrow? Just guess!' 'Pam! Guess who's going to ask me out tomorrow!' 'Pam! He's going to dump you.'"
Tears welled in my eyes.
"Oh don't be such a cry-baby." Carly said rolling her eyes. "I hardly think that putting up with you was worth the money."

I knew them for about three years, enough to get me to trust them.

"Well duh money! We were going to get rid of you anyway. Then we found out people get payed for 'eliminating'," Pam put air quotes, "people like you with powers."
"People like me? There's more?" I said not able to resist.
Dan sighed, "This is why I could never really love you."
I wanted to cry out, but I would soon anyway.
"Ok, guys, let's start." Mom said.
They smiled at each other and started pushing me to the ground and kicking. I reached up expecting a hand until someone kicked it. They won't help me anymore... I thought. I choked for air.
"Hm... I guess beating to death isn't going to work for these type of people..." Someone said.
My vision was blurry but I could see them nodding.
"Let's throw her in!" I think Cathy's mom said.
I felt hands lift me up. First I thought they were helping me until they didn't put me down. I squirmed but there were to many of them. They threw me and I felt air against me and it felt like slow motion. I could hear my breathing and their cheering. Then my mouth was filled with salt water and I went under. I could swim but the beat me up to much. I felt myself sink like I was holding rocks. I felt my lungs burn up all the air and try to reach for more. I could faintly hear them cheering and the sound was getting quieter. I was going deeper, they were moving away, or both. I was just about to give up all hope until I felt hands life me up. It took me a little to realise they weren't a man's hands, but a woman's. No, not even a woman, a girl's. I breathed a sigh of relief as we surfaced. I don't know how long it took but it was worth it. The air. I felt waves crash against me.

I will never forget that feeling, of that air. And I will never be out of her dept.
"Cathy!" She yelled behind me behind me. I turn and smile.
"You ready to leave yet?" She sat in her car.
"Not quite yet."
She nods, "Ok, but we need to leave soon before someone see's us. They're not going to sleep forever."
Who she is you might ask? She the one who saved me. Beck. Another person with powers. She calls us gifted. And she says that we're going to were other 'gifted' are. They're going to explain everything there and teach me to control my powers better.
I smile at her and look back at the beach from the cliff. Realize I said love, present tense, not loved, past tense, in the beginning. That's because, even though they faked it all, I still love them. Even though they think I'm dead and are probably partying with their new found money, I still love them. Even though they personally took turns beating me before throwing me off the boat, I still love them. Even though they betrayed me and almost killed me, I still love them.

message 6: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments Wow, Esther! That story almost made me cry!

message 7: by Esther (last edited Mar 09, 2010 03:07PM) (new)

Esther (essie7198) *bows* thank you!!! i actually tried for this one because i REALLY love the topic betrayal

message 8: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) wow... what the heck happened???

message 9: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) i guess i get it... thank you!!!

message 10: by FreakPrincess (last edited Mar 14, 2010 03:49AM) (new)

FreakPrincess | 23 comments Title: (( sorry i couldn't think if one.))
Word Count: 552
By Freak((Hope you enjoy!))


I know you say things are hard at home but they can’t be bad enough for you to run away. Think about it running away isn’t the answer to everything.
I never thought I’d say this, but what about school? You yourself told me that you didn’t want to end up like your mum. What are you gonna do without your GCSE’s?
Think about all the people you’re leaving behind who are going to miss you. I love you, you know, you’re my best friend; think about how hard it’ll be on me too.

Love Sara xx

‘Yeah, love you too you stupid backstabbing moron,’ I mutter tonelessly, ripping your note up and chucking it across the room from my sitting position ‘so much.’

I climb up onto the hard bed, pulling my rucksack with me; my disturbance causes the fetid perfume of its last owners to make itself airborne. I wrap my hands around my knees, pulling them towards my chest. I need warmth. The room is freezing and there are goose bumps leading a trail from my hands to my neck. Despite that, my face is hot, my eyes are stinging, watering, and I know that if I think about you, it’ll get worse. But I can’t – it’s impossible, when you’re the reason why I’m here, in a strange house with a bunch of bratty kids.

Kids, who are at the moment screaming their heads off, whilst running up and down the corridors like rabid dogs.
They sent me to this foster home after they caught me. After I told them why I ran and why I stole from shops; about my dad beating me up. I showed them the bruises. I saw the pity in their eyes which I did not want to see.
They said it was good thing that you called them ‘We’re going to take care of you now Jessica’ they said. I don’t believe them, I don’t believe anyone anymore.

My hands start to shake, my rising chest nudging my knees every few seconds; getting faster and faster. Suddenly, I can’t take it any more. The heavy chains I had secured around my heart when I was caught unfurl against my will and the deadly concoction of fear and anger rips upwards threatening to engulf me.

I try to gulp air down but I can’t, my throat is closing in on itself. How could you do this to me? I trusted you! I trusted you and you sold me out! You knew that this was my only chance for happiness but you handed me in!

I can remember it now, of being in the town centre and spotting the police. I ran in panic, but that only made it worse. I remember the way my heart beat faster and the air passed through my nose smelling almost metallic. I remember seeing you, just standing there, with a guilty look on your face and knowing it was you who betrayed me.

You hurt me Sara. In that moment, it was more pain than being beaten up or bullied. It’s the kind of physical and mental pain that made me want to collapse in agony and turn away from the world and all the lies. And I just want you to know that you caused it.

message 11: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments Is it okay if our story ends on a cliffhanger?

message 12: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments Betrayed by our brother
By Lydia
Word count: ? More than 300

“It’s agreed?”
A clock tower tolled in the distance.
“We should leave.” The two men rose and exited into the street, quickly merging into the crowd and disappearing.

People flocked into the arena. In the spectator box, four figures stood talking. They were impossible not to recognize.
“This is a waste of time.”
“Patience, brother. It will become more lively.” Zeus replied.
“I want to go back to the sea. It’s much more calmer there.”
“Really, Poseidon?” Ares laughed. “You’re like a fish out of water. Get used to the land!”
“Brother,” Athena cautioned. “Not all of us share your enthusiasm for bloodshed.”
Ares shrugged. “Don’t come, then.That’s what the Games are about.” He turned to the crowd and held out his hands. “That is why they come.”
As if to agree with him, the crowd shouted louder. Ares grinned.
“He’s not the only one uncomfortable.” Another heavenly being stepped out of the shadows.
“Artemis!” Zeus greeted her. “I am so glad you decided to come.”
Artemis just nodded in response.
“Finally, someone who lives for the kill.” Ares said.
“The hunt.” Artemis corrected. Ares shrugged.
The crowd cheered louder. The gods stopped talking. Zeus stepped forward so the people could see him.
“Good citizens!” He called. They silenced. “I welcome you to the Olympus Games! Let the best man win!”
“Good show,” Ares said. The five gods sat down and prepared to enjoy themselves. The contestants for the chariot race entered onto the track and lined up at the starting mark.
Below Zeus and his companions, hidden deep in the shadows and unseen, was a man.
“You understand the message?” He whispered.
“Yes! I understand, Hermes.” Another man replied.
“Keep quiet. I am not supposed to be here.” Hermes hissed.
“Remember, Admes-”
“I know. No one will trace this back to Hades.” Admes promised.
“Good. Now go.”
Admes hurried back into the sunlight. He found his seat, three rows from the front, ten seats from the end of the row. If Admes squinted against the glare, he could make out the shape of the gods. A cheer distracted him. The chariot race was just starting.
Admes tried to sit back and relax, but he couldn’t; the knowledge of what he was about to do haunted him.
The chariot races continued. After a tense run, a man of about 30 won. He stood up on his chariot. Admes gulped. This was it.
Admes walked to the end of the row. He slowly placed a pipe to his lips, and blew into it. Instead of making a sound, a dart flew out and hit the champion right in the neck. All faces turned towards the fallen man, and then to Admes. The gods started towards him.
Before they reached him, Admes pulled out an ancient knife. Saying a spell in another language, he drove the knife into his heart. When the gods got to him, he was nothing but ashes.
“He smells of the dead.” Artemis said.
“No, really?” Ares asked, sarcastically.
“No, she’s right.” Athena replied, ignoring Ares. “He’s been to the Underworld.”
“Are you sure?” Poseidon questioned.
“Sssh. Not here. Not now.” Zeus whispered. Speaking louder he said, “The death of this man is unfortunate, as is the death of the champion.” The crowd murmured in disgust. “But, I believe the Games shall continue. Please, be seated.” People reluctantly returned to their seats.
The games carried on. No one really paid attention to them, though; they were all thinking about Admes. Zeus dismissed the people early, and he and the other gods sat down to talk.
“What does Hades have to with all this?” Poseidon asked.
“I say we go down there and-” Ares fumed.
“No,” Athena said. “We must do this peacefully.”
“Peacefully.” Ares snorted.
“Silence.” Zeus said. “Obviously we will try this peacefully, but if Hades should turn violent-”
“Yes!” Ares grinned.
“You plan to fight your brother?” Artemis asked.
“Only if I have to."
“I don’t get it.” Athena said. “Why would it turn violent?”
“We promised to not make contact with humans. Hades just sent two people to their death.” Zeus said.
"That's stupid." Ares muttered. "And, who cares? When they died they would go to Hades anyway."
"Exactly. Say Hades wanted a certain person for a reason. All he has to do is kill them. But with that promise Hades has to wait." Athena said.
"Yes, but what is this all about?" Poseidon asked.
"I don't know." Zeus admitted. "But I do know one thing; our brother has betrayed us."

message 13: by FreakPrincess (new)

FreakPrincess | 23 comments Nice :)

message 14: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments Thank you.

message 15: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) ooooooooo srry but i think i like Lydia's the best... well so far

message 16: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments Thanks, Esther!

message 17: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) ur welcome! when is the poll gonna be up?

message 18: by Lydia (new)

Lydia | 109 comments I don't know. I think Tuesday, maybe.

message 19: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) oh...

message 20: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) This is the sixth time I will try to get my story written. Some funky thing happens to erase everything every time so far. I just want you to know that if I don't get it done this time, at least I tried.

message 21: by Catamorandi (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) Okay, it happened again. Obviously, I am not supposed to write this story at this time. Maybe later, but not now. I'm sorry. I really wanted to put an entry in, but I am not going over it for an eighth time.

message 22: by Esther (new)

Esther (essie7198) aww

message 23: by Catamorandi (last edited Mar 14, 2010 08:21PM) (new)

Catamorandi (wwwgoodreadscomprofilerandi) THE UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL
by Randi
Word Count: 662?

Alyssa walked into the therapist's office with great trepidation. She most assuredly did not want to be there, not now, not ever after last week.

As she was making it to the door, she thought, "How did this happen? Why did he do it? Why did he betray me? I can't sit and talk or look at him again. It would be too much for me to bare. Should I turn around and leave right now, or should I go in? I came all this way. I guess I might as well go in."

She sat across from Dr. Hutchison. She turned her face to the window. She kept her mouth shut. She sat there motionless and speechless. Dr. Hutchison kept asking Alyssa questions, but she wouldn't say a word.

This little charade lasted another four torturous weeks. She couldn't stand it any more. She asked Mom and Dad if she could stop seeing him. They were accomplishing nothing. She had no trust in him any more since that fateful day five weeks ago.

Her parents decided that since they were paying the bill, she could stop going. There was no point in paying all that money if it isn't going to help for which she thanked them profusely.

What happened on that fateful day five weeks ago? I'm glad you asked.

Alyssa had a broken left ankle. Her parents wouldn't let her drive, even though her car was an automatic one. Her dad took her to and from her appointments.

When Dr. Hutchison and her dad met, it was charisma in the making. Dr. Hutchison liked him very much. Her dad was a very personable person.

Alyssa had just broken up with her abusive boyfriend, which is why she was at the therapist's in the first place. She talked a lot about her ex-boyfriend. However, slowly but surely, the conversation switched over to her dad.

Her dad was a very abusive, overbearing person. He terribly abused her. She needed to get some of the poison from him out of her system. She opened up like a flood gate after a while.

After about six sessions, Dr. Hutchison said to Alyssa, "I don't believe one word of what you are saying about your dad. He is a wonderful guy from what I can see. I'm going to bring him in here and tell him everything you've ever said about him." And he did just that.

Alyssa was shocked. She was angry, hurt, ashamed, pained, and afraid. She was betrayed. She thought that there must be some kind of oath or law covering this sort of thing, but she decided not to pursue it.

After that day, she wanted nothing to do with Dr. Hutchison any more. She was supposed to be telling him these things in total confidence, and he broke that confidence. She could never trust him again, because he committed the unkindest cut of all when he brought her dad in and told her dad everything she talked about with Dr. Hutchison. That is why she never talked or looked at him again. That is why she continually heard about the incident with her dad for years to come.

She had been dealt the bad hand. She was betrayed in the unkindest cut of all, the trust between a therapist and his client.

I'm not sure it was worth all this effort, but at least I got it finished. Whew!

message 24: by Sanuk (new)

Sanuk Hi,

I am new to this group. This is my first short story. I hope you will enjoy it.


I have been waiting a long time, more than a century. Living in my head for so long had been a nightmare. Somehow, my mental activities had remained intact, much to my disappointment. What was supposed to be a long rest had become a century of boredom. But this is the past. A new life is awaiting! My frozen body is about to be awaken.

How is the world, my wife, my children and Virgule the cat? Have they been waiting for me? Robots will be everywhere, eager to serve me. It will be so much fun. I will visit other planets on spaceships traveling at warp speed. They will have built those while I was in the cold. Life will be so much better with new technologies. Robot slaves waiting to fulfill all my desires. Pollution eradicated by new technologies. It has all been predicted. The future is now.

The countdown has started. My eyes being close I cannot see what is happening but I can feel it. I am ready for life.

After what seems like an eternity, my eyes open. I can see! A cute robot is standing in front of me. The future looks good!

Welcome to the world Mr Smith. I am Nikky 7454. I will be taking care of you. While you where frozen, The Corporation has taken control of every practical aspects of life. You don’t have to worry about anything. I will bring you to your new friends.

I cannot feel anything from the neck down. The door opens. A dozen heads on a table are looking at me. A dozen heads without bodies! I feel sick. Nikki 7454 smile at me.

We had to behead the humans to protect them against any dangers, Nikki said softly.

My heart sank. We have been betrayed.

message 25: by FreakPrincess (new)

FreakPrincess | 23 comments OMG, THAT IS AMAZING!

message 26: by CJ (new)

CJ (cjthompson) Holy crap, awesome story Sanuk! If I had made it to the polls in time, I would have voted for yours ^^

message 27: by Sanuk (new)

Sanuk Thanks so much for the encouragement.

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