Fans of Interracial Romance discussion
note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
Archived Threads
>
What Turns You OFF When Reading an Interracial Romance?
message 402:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(last edited Dec 21, 2013 12:42PM)
(new)
Still not buying it. Not when women are being sold so many conflicting messages. Be independent but not TOO independent. Be natural yet pile on a ton of makeup to LOOK natural. Be sexy but not TOO SEXY and the list goes on. Moreover, the pressure for women to marry is still pretty intense.I guess the tomboy nerd in me still reigns supreme. I've never been good at playing games. And some days I just want to wear lip balm, lol.
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "Still not buying it. Not when women are being sold so many conflicting messages. Be independent but not TOO independent. Be natural yet pile on a ton of makeup to LOOK natural. Be sexy but not TOO ..."Now I am not saying those are the best self help books ever written, just that I got something from them. I don't think I would even recommend them, but self introspection is not my normal reading. I'm not that deep. Scratch my surface, and you find more surface.
message 404:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Call me weird but I got my best dating advice from Pride and Prejudice.
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "Call me weird but I got my best dating advice from Pride and Prejudice."I started reading bodice rippers way too young, and expected love to feel like a Johanna Lindsey novel. Hence my need for alpha-hole rehab. I tended to be the sad girl before the hero meets the heroine until acquiring some life skills.
I started out at age 11 reading those First Love by Silhouette novels. I'm actually grateful because that definitely gave me the idea that boys should act like BOYS and teen dating did not need to include sex. Unfortunately it also gave me an unrealistic impression of how love would progress lol. Still, it kept my standards high in high school. I graduated very innocent indeed and I credit it to my parents and my falling in love WITH falling in love through books.
Savannah~Quad-motherin'-book readin' diva wrote: "I started out at age 11 reading those First Love by Silhouette novels. I'm actually grateful because that definitely gave me the idea that boys should act like BOYS and teen dating did not need to ..."I skipped boys and my first boyfriend was a 32 year old man. He was so beautiful and predatory. That lasted way too long, and took me a long time to reconcile how messed up that power dynamic was.
Paganalexandria **wicked juices bubbling over** wrote: "Savannah~Quad-motherin'-book readin' diva wrote: "I started out at age 11 reading those First Love by Silhouette novels. I'm actually grateful because that definitely gave me the idea that boys sho..."Girl, we need to talk one night LOL!
message 409:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Because I was a huge fantasy geek, I wanted my dream man to be a dragonrider, lol. I still date/fall in love with nerdy ren-faire gothic types.
Savannah~Quad-motherin'-book readin' diva wrote: "Paganalexandria **wicked juices bubbling over** wrote: "Savannah~Quad-motherin'-book readin' diva wrote: "I started out at age 11 reading those First Love by Silhouette novels. I'm actually gratefu..."Girl, I think one day my crazy life will make one hell of a memoir. LOL
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "Because I was a huge fantasy geek, I wanted my dream man to be a dragonrider, lol. I still date/fall in love with nerdy ren-faire gothic types."Awww. The Dragonriders of Pern is the very first fantasy novel I ever read. To this day I love F'lar. And honestly he is also the prototype of a hero I like. He is authoritative and determined and he is doing stuff for the greater good but he didn't strike me as Alpha with a capital 'A' Just really a MAN, you know?
message 412:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
@Tina:And I'm a total F'nor chick. He was the perfect combination of alpha and beta male, especially when he wanted to fly Brekke's Wirenth (remember his dragon Canth was a brown dragon). He always had his brother's back. Though I had it pretty bad for Masterharper Robinton, lol.
Oh man, you are totally tugging at my memory. Now I want to re-read. I thought F'lar/F'nor were the awesomest bro combo. Once they got in power they got shit done. I remeber thinking the Dragonriders was just the coolest concept for a story. The whole idea of "impression." just felt like being inducted into the best club ever.
I want to input my two cents. Does this discussion apply to movies?
message 415:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
L'Poni wrote: "I want to input my two cents. Does this discussion apply to movies?"Nope. This was the Dragonriders of Pern series by the late Anne McCaffrey. I know you're not really into novels L'Poni but as someone who loves and writes about dragon lore, it's a series I totally recommend.
At one point in time there was supposed to have been a live-action series but it fell through. Apparently she wasn't thrilled with what the production company wanted to do with it, not to mention the look of the dragons.
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "L'Poni wrote: "I want to input my two cents. Does this discussion apply to movies?"Nope. This was the Dragonriders of Pern series by the late Anne McCaffrey. I know you're not really into novels ..."
I heard all about Pern and checked out a couple of the books from the library but never finished them. I would make it to ten or twenty pages before I would mysteriously go on to something else (like I always do with novels). I liked her writing style, though. I hope my books become classics like those; books that every adult has read in their teenage years. A pony can dream and make it happen **stares at the sky with dreamy eyes**
I did, however, read Temeraire by Naomi Novik, which has dragon riders in the Napoleonic Wars. I never finished those, either, but they were interesting. They reminded me of Pirates of the Carribrean...with Dragons!
I heard about the Pern movie and how it hasn't happened yet. Another studio has gotten ahold of it but nothing has happened. And Peter Jackson was suppose to turn Temeraire into a movie or series but that hasn't happened either. If Game of Thrones and Avatar can get made, I'm sure the people of Hollywood can make Temeraire and Pern into a series of sorts.
On the subject of dragon riding, I made sure when writing that I try not to add dragon riding like most dragon authors do nowadays. I wanted to create my own dragon lore that differed from everything else in the world so I could be as original as possible and be known for creating a new kind of dragon (the space dragon, La mia bella creazione! (My beautiful creation!)), like McCaffrey and Tolkien.
And I wanted to input my two cents about interracial movies, not books. What aggravates me is when the leading lady is mean towards the guy because of his race. It is annoying. Just be nice! Is that so hard?
message 417:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Savannah~Quad-motherin'-book readin' diva wrote: "Obligatory long flowing hair and hazel or light colored eyes.All this does is point out to me how we continue to be our own worst enemies in this country. We claim black is beautiful but write a..."
THIS. RIGHT. HERE!
I have just picked up and put down my THIRD IR book less than ten minutes in which the black heroine has hair down to her damn BACK! And she's either cafe au lait/golden/light copper to add insult to injury. I'm sorry but this is freaking HURTFUL as a black woman to see this continuing self-hatred. That dark skin and natural hair is some kind of anathema, even in romance fiction. If/When white authors pull this colorist fuckwittery, we're all "sisterhood is universal". When WE do it, it's a "well at least she's black". Which is true, and because we're so desperate to see ourselves as the heroine and the object of desire, we accept it. And I'm not trying to throw shade on my lighter/medium toned sisters because we are fighting the same fight, just from different ends of the spectrum. But The Fountain Pen Diva is about to get real here. It HURTS! It hurts seeing that gorgeous black women like Lupita Nyong'o or Grace Jones or Angela Bassett or N'Bushe Wright (who was all kinds of kick ass in Blade) are not better represented in a genre WE CREATED in order to fill a need that was not being met. Do we still hate ourselves so much that even our romance fiction reinforces "light skin and good hair"? Seriously THREE BOOKS? Pretty sad that I've seen more skin color diversity in M/M romance, whee.
I want to support my sister authors in this genre, but when I get to the point where I feel you're not supporting black women in ALL OUR WONDERFUL DIVERSITY, I'm done. At least if I go back to sci-fi/fantasy, my feelings don't get hurt (and even THAT genre seems to be trying to do a better job).
Yeah, it's a rant but seriously y'all THREE BOOKS? Back to back?
Mod
All this does is point out to me how we continue to be our own worst enemies in this..."
I hear you. I agree with 100%. I picked up and put down a lot of IR books lately for one reason or another. I just put a book down because the heroine's caramel colored skin, hazel eyes, and sandy-colored hair down her back was mentioned too many times for me. And that was within the first three chapters!
I know we come in all shades, shapes, hair textures and lengths, but I would like to read a well IR where the heroine has natural hair- not the silky curls sort of stuff, which I know exists. But my kind of natural where the hair shrivels down to the scalp at the first sign of humidity, and has to be parted into sections to comb out. Or maybe, the heroine has a relaxer and needs a touch up. Just something to make it a more realistic reflection of me.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm getting a little jaded....
message 419:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(last edited May 23, 2014 06:05PM)
(new)
Michelle wrote: "Sometimes, I wonder if I'm getting a little jaded..."Exactly. And the way I consume books, lol. I've got an entire collection on my Kindle and my tablet that's nothing but IR that I haven't read. And now I'm wondering if the next book I pick is going to have that same type of heroine. I find it ironic that the heroes come in varying shades/types (though I've never read about a white hero with dreds. That would be interesting, lol).
I have at least TEN sites bookmarked all about afros, including Afro-Punk which features an "Afro of the Day" photo (and seriously, some of those fros are FIERCE!). I have several more featuring fades, short cuts, bantu knots and all kinds of braids/locs. I use them for reference and for ideas. And we do come in all shapes, sizes and colours. That's a beautiful thing and if we don't celebrate it, who the bloody hell will? But it's like some authors are perpetuating that if the heroine doesn't look like Beyonce or Halle, then she's not worthy of love. Sorry, but I'm not getting behind that.
Mod
Exactly.
I have at least TEN sites bookmarked all about afros, including Afro-Punk which features an "Afro of the Day" photo..."
Get out of my head! I keep thinking that many of these authors are describing a Beyonce-type woman, and that's fine. But not every time! I feel like they are doing the same thing to use that mainstream romance authors have done- attempt to make us feel unattractive, unworthy, and unlovable. It's just gotten old. All I am asking for is a more diverse representation of black women- show all nationalities, backgrounds, physical traits, occupations etc.
I've been attempting to write my own stories, and part of my motivation for doing so was the lack of diversity among heroines in IR rom. It's like another whitewashing is taking place, and it really does sadden me.
message 421:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(last edited May 23, 2014 06:26PM)
(new)
I feel the same way. What bothers me most though is I really hate having that kind of reaction. That I'm dumping on lighter-skinned black women, which is never the intent. I know they've got their own crosses to bear. But if no one addresses the problem, nothing ever gets solved.
Mod
I feel bad too, and I don't see it as dumping so much as saying "I'm here too." As this genre grows in popularity, and more people are excited to start reading it, they'll have the same reaction too in time, and the IR rom sub-genre won't be successful. One of my closest friends happens to be a light-skinned black woman, and she too is sick of the lack of diversity.
Mod
Exactly! How many of us have stopped watching movies, or reading a particular author because you just end up feeling over saturated with the same story lines and recycled characters? This is no different.
message 424:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(last edited May 23, 2014 07:05PM)
(new)
*Sigh*Make that FOUR books I've just put down. I am seriously restraining myself from throwing my Kindle against the wall.
*headdesk*
The heroine's hair was "long and silky" and she just got out of the shower.
Mod
Make that FOUR books I've just put down. I am seriously restraining myself from throwing my Kindle against the wall.
*headdesk*
The heroine's hair was "long and silky" and she just got o..."
I believe it.
Mod
Sometimes I wonder if readers want things to stay the same. Like if the stories changed too much, they won't be interested. It sits in the back of my mind at times.
Michelle wrote: "All I am asking for is a more diverse representation of black women- show all nationalities, backgrounds, physical traits, occupations etc. "This to me is the more critical point. Women who identify themselves as 'black' will have the widest range of skin color and hair texture than any other ethnicity. There are black women who are pale, almost white with silky, light colored hair to very dark skinned women with really tight hair and every combination & shade in between.
Just as we want to interracial diversity in books, I think it is just as important to see all the intra-racial diversity as well.
May I add some more, I can't remember if I added these but here it goes. I don't like it when the hero loves the fact that the heroine is black, not for her culture or out of respect for her, but due to her skin color or constantly mentions her skin color or blackness or whatever. I hope I'm making sense. I picked up one book where upon meeting the heroine, the MC kept saying essentially how he couldn't believe she was black and how he was excited and etc. It was yucky. This includes "I'm into POC women"
I don't mind racism being used in a book. However, I hate when it's used on such a face level or top layer type of way. Pretty much having someone screaming racist stuff at them or the POC character or turning their nose up at them. You know, not actually talking about the racism.
No body shaming, i.e., the FMC (who usually has curves) dismisses all women who do not. Yeah....that's just ew.
I have a few more. But I'll just start with those.
I thought dizzy and bookish comment was interesting, about the mfc having a curvy body type and shunning everyone who doesn't. I never thought of that one before XD
My opinion on these most recent comments could be endless if I wanted them to. I too find it hurtful when main characters are described as closest to white. I think all black women of all cultures are beautiful but for the only women we read about it in interracial stories are the lighter ones with lighter eyes and less kinky hair, it's making me wanna give up the genre altogether.
What makes matters worse is that a lot of the authors are brown skinned to dark skinned women like myself, so it makes me think that it's their fantasy to look like that or something. I'm taking my stab at co authoring two books this year, both are fantasy/sci fi ish but the main female characters are darker chocolate skinned, with athletic body types and one has natural hair who wears it all different types of ways. I basically wrote who I wanted to see, and I suppose that is me. A chocolate skinned, natural haired athletic woman who in order has to have curves has to build them with working out, lol!
My opinion on these most recent comments could be endless if I wanted them to. I too find it hurtful when main characters are described as closest to white. I think all black women of all cultures are beautiful but for the only women we read about it in interracial stories are the lighter ones with lighter eyes and less kinky hair, it's making me wanna give up the genre altogether.
What makes matters worse is that a lot of the authors are brown skinned to dark skinned women like myself, so it makes me think that it's their fantasy to look like that or something. I'm taking my stab at co authoring two books this year, both are fantasy/sci fi ish but the main female characters are darker chocolate skinned, with athletic body types and one has natural hair who wears it all different types of ways. I basically wrote who I wanted to see, and I suppose that is me. A chocolate skinned, natural haired athletic woman who in order has to have curves has to build them with working out, lol!
I've noticed a trend that many of the black women in BWWM books have either gray or green eyes. As though brown eyes aren't attractive or desirable. It's annoying.
I'd also love to see some better representation of stories between black women and Asian men or black women and Latino men. I think I've read one book this year featuring a Latin guy as the love interest where he wasn't a cholo or Latin lover stereotype. I know for many people interracial means just black and white, but what about the girls dating non white guys, it'd be great to see more books featuring non white guys. Not that I don't love it....
The lack of substance in the story. It has no meat. The story is about the fact someone of a different race had the nerve to fall in love with someone of another race. This is 2014 so what? That isn't new any more. Now it's time for IR writers to tell us what else happens to the couple to make them attracted to each other. What makes them work when they aren't the perfect cookie cutter couple to anyone else but themselves.
I've actually had more request for White guys. I looked back at my previous books and realize they've all been Asian. LOL Well when I get back to my historical Warrior Assasin series, he's white well not really he's Portuguese. Sorry sometime the White guy doesn't get the girl. Just like in real life. lol
As far as interracial stories always being about the race of the characters, I agree that's pretty annoying. It's not like race doesn't define us but we are more than just our skin colors and cultures.
Perhaps that's why like fountain pen diva I lean more towards sci fi and fantasy. It almost never deals with race as the main topic, but is less romance so I could see why some sistas may not be fans.
Perhaps that's why like fountain pen diva I lean more towards sci fi and fantasy. It almost never deals with race as the main topic, but is less romance so I could see why some sistas may not be fans.
message 434:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(last edited May 24, 2014 11:54AM)
(new)
Well Shiree, I still want more Asian men in my IR, lol! I can't get enough *grin*. The white men are starting to become somewhat cookie-cutter. They're either billionaires or biker types. Haven't read any surfers though, lol.@Libertad: you've noticed that too about the authors? That's what I find so highly ironic and frankly troublesome.
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "Well Shiree, I still want more Asian men in my IR, lol! I can't get enough *grin*. The white men are starting to become somewhat cookie-cutter. They're either billionaires or biker types. Haven't r..."I love Asian men too much to stop now. Did you get the manuscript for the first 21 chapters of Metal Love songs in you mailbox?
message 436:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Nooooo! Did you send it to my yahoo inbox? I'll check.
Yes hun, it's the only email addy I have for you.
Well, after a bit of a drought since the New year, I have been reading nothing but IR this past week. And hands down, the thing that is killing me is the need to have the h/h describe in detail how horny/wet/hard they are and explicitly fantasize about all the sexual thing they want to do (or even come onto) the other within minutes of meeting, usually within the first chapter of the story. In some cases it is within the first few pages.As much as I like a good open door sexual relationship in my books, I wish IR could move away from the blatantly erotica overtones it seems to be mired in. For all that I was a bit upset that Tethered was basically a NA book in disguise, at least the h/h didn't have sex til around the 60% point of the book and that is a 500 page book.
message 439:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Shiree wrote: "Yes hun, it's the only email addy I have for you."I checked but I didn't see it. Can you send it again? I am so fiending to read this.
message 440:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Libertad wrote: "As far as interracial stories always being about the race of the characters, I agree that's pretty annoying. It's not like race doesn't define us but we are more than just our skin colors and cultu..."That's why you, your sister and I are the heads of the Jazz/Connie Fan Club, lol.
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "Shiree wrote: "Yes hun, it's the only email addy I have for you."I checked but I didn't see it. Can you send it again? I am so fiending to read this."
I just resent it. Let me know if you have it this time or you might need to give me another email address to try. Thank you
When they shove the word "curves" down my throat when its fairly obvious the heroine isnt simply curvaceous. There are as many variations on plus sized as there are on skin tone. Stop one stop shopping adjectives when you are writing for women above single digit dress sizes.
I don't enjoy sexually explicit stories, I would really enjoy some romance in my romance books, just because a couple is having raunchy sex, doesn't mean they're in love.I get really mad when I'm not warned in advance about the content of a book, then come face to face with a threesome or more, worst sometimes.
Some would say, it's a new time sex is out in the open now, yeah, it's a little too open sometimes.
I don't watch porn, don't want to read it. I love to see my friends fall in love and be happy, but I don't want to see the progression of their love by following them to the bedroom.
Yeah, I know these people in these books are not real but I still have to see it in my mind, no thanks.
I'm sorry but some authors are getting ridiculous with the sexual content and it gets tedious trying to skip pages just to find out there is no story, the sex is the story, with characters I don't care about.
I found a few authors I love and I'm sticking with them. I refuse to support or try any other interracial authors until they start to give some considerations to those of us who wants romance in our romance books, and there is more of us than they realize, to most people interracial books are mainly sex books, so they don't waste their time coming online to check and who can blame them. I'm fed up myself.
Sorry for the rant, we are just tired of being over looked.
message 444:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(last edited May 24, 2014 06:49PM)
(new)
Emotonal wrote: "I don't enjoy sexually explicit stories, I would really enjoy some romance in my romance books, just because a couple is having raunchy sex, doesn't mean they're in love.I get really mad when I'm..."
This oversaturation of sex in romance books is not just happening in IR. Practically every subgenre is being "sexed up" to feed the market. The genie is out of the proverbial bottle, so to speak. Unfortunately, the readers of erotic romance/erotica books are vocal and they spend more. Publishers are simply feeding the market, though it seems they've never learned that variety is the spice of life as well as great for sales. Don't get me wrong, I love some well-written sexy romance, but I would also like a choice as well. I also want A ROMANCE to go along with my erotica. If the book is categorized as an "erotic romance" don't shortchange me on the romance.
I still believe that for black women, writing erotic romance/erotica is liberating. In real life our sexuality is owned and defined by everyone BUT us. In these books, we're allowed to get our freak on without having something negative attached to it. It's like being given a million dollars and let loose inside of a Jimmy Choo shoe boutique, lol. And those who think IR books are nothing but erotic are just looking for an excuse not to read IR anyway. They seem to give a free pass to the tons of mainstream erotic romance out there.
Well written fountain pen diva!!! I used to feel the same way about sex in books, that it was too much for me but then I realized it was because I believed that sex in books was for crazy ass white women who'll do anything. I hadn't realized I had fallen victim to suppressing my own sexuality. Sexuality amongst black women is something that tends to be defined by everyone but black women as fountain pen diva said! We villainize women who are comfortable with their sexuality perhaps because we're not fully comfortable with our own. It's kind of how we are taught at a young age.
Let's look at Beyonce's infamous album, she talked A LOT about her sexuality and lots of women I've had personal conversations with have made statements like "she needs to cool down, she's a mother now"......ummm so you just stop liking sex when you have kids? It just didn't make sense to me XD
Let's look at Beyonce's infamous album, she talked A LOT about her sexuality and lots of women I've had personal conversations with have made statements like "she needs to cool down, she's a mother now"......ummm so you just stop liking sex when you have kids? It just didn't make sense to me XD
message 446:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Exactly! I found myself defending Beyonce on this very thing and I'm not even a fan of her music. Racism has really done a number on black women when it comes to our sexuality. We're either asexual and non-threatening mammy figures or sexually irresponsible, wild Jezebels (and baby mammas). IR romance seems to be one of the few safe spaces we can retreat to where there is no judgment.Which is why I want our genre to be the best it can be. I want to see ALL BLACK WOMEN better represented as healthy sexual beings worth loving and fighting for. And getting our happily ever after.
This is the reason when you find an author that write the type of books you like you need to let them know and help promote them. If an author don't feel like she's being read, talked about or sales are low, then she most likely won't be in a hurry to get the books out as quickly as those who are giving you those monthly 3 chapter at a time reads. It's the readers and their money that dictate what's will be written and or published next.
Mod
Mod
I get really mad when I'm..."
Well said, Emotonal. I know how you feel.
I completely agree with everyone's point. Especially about the hair. Even when I used relaxers it took a while for my hair to be "silky" and even then it lasted a day. Rarely do you find the heroines going to sleep with rollers or wrapping her hair.The other problem I have with books not just IR but all the women are thin. Really? The women all have smooth creamy tone skin. I loathed the word creamy! Can't anyone have some stretch marks? Rounded belly? Something to make the character more real. It's bad enough that magazines and movies promote the "perfect body" do we also have to read about it as well?
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.
Fans of Interracial Romance
Books mentioned in this topic
Cold Warriors (other topics)A Thankful Love (other topics)
Against the Odds (other topics)
From Across the Divide (other topics)
Tears of Heaven A Love Story (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Jewel Adams (other topics)Tilly Bagshawe (other topics)
Judith Krantz (other topics)
See I got of, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, a message at the time I needed. When younger, I always rationalized bad behavior as, "he's just immature...", "...deep down he is ______", or "if I'm patient...". I stupidly needed to be told something that should have been common sense, "Girl, that particular boy is not thinking about you, and only hanging around because of convenience." I didn't take that as a slam against me, but more as a wake up call to stop being relationship delusional. Stop building farytales and move on to the next.
The All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in contrast did seem to have more of a faking it to make it approach. Most of which I personally found beyond my want to factor. But even that book taught me to stop being so available and some games are actually fun to play. Like I said, common sense. Yet as I love to say, common sense is not that common.