Fans of Interracial Romance discussion
note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
Archived Threads
>
What Turns You OFF When Reading an Interracial Romance?
I agree wholeheartedly with PenDiva when it comes to determining if something is romantic despite how much erotic or sexually explicit content there might be. If you remove the sex scenes is the relationship still affecting? Do you buy that these people should be together? Do you believe in their happiness after the book ends?I like Cara Mckenna as a writer who writes really excellent erotica romance but creates a strong relationship around the sex. As an added bonus she always does working class people as her characters. Despite the explicit sexual content, I find the relationships in her books so very raw and real.
The thing with trying to define something as 'romance' vs. 'erotica' vs. 'romantica' is that different people have different thresholds of what is romantic or how well an author delivers relationship. One person's 'trashy porn' is another person's 'romance with explicit sex scenes'. Heck, some people think all romance is trash even those written by Barbara Cartland.
I find my GR friends shelving and Booklikes tagging much more useful than any official categories when it comes to trying to determine content in a book.
A couple of my GR friends have incredible detail in their shelving to the point I can thematically figure out everything about a book before I even read the blurb.
I know @ Tina XD every time I want a book, I'll see if a friend wrote a review XD
Guinevere wrote: "I know @ Tina XD every time I want a book, I'll see if a friend wrote a review XD"@Tina/Guinevere My friends reviews and shelving is also the biggest factors in me going forward with a particular book. And I have go-to friends, for each subgenre I read. I might like my friends review style, but if they only like PNR, not trusting their diss of the latest BDSM romantica. But if my fellow smut lover's review is also negative, that will give me pause. My favorite thing about goodreads is the compare books feature because it's a great barometer to judge the value of each review as it pertains to your own taste.
message 1005:
by
The FountainPenDiva, Old school geek chick and lover of teddy bears
(new)
Tina wrote: "I agree wholeheartedly with PenDiva when it comes to determining if something is romantic despite how much erotic or sexually explicit content there might be. If you remove the sex scenes is the r..."I like Cara McKenna too, because she does write working-class characters, but I've found some of her heroines typically unable to tell the difference between sex and love. They start out sexy and savvy then plummet into annoying neediness. To be fair though, that seems to be an Ellora's Cave problem overall.
Some of my shelving may elicit a chuckle, but the idea was to give as much quick detail before getting to the meat of the review. For instance I break down the sex content into categories. That way potential readers can decide if certain acts are in their comfort zone. Of course, some of my shelves are totally subjective such as "heroes who should be castrated" or "smack hero/heroine with clue bat".
TheFountainPenDiva wrote: "...Some of my shelving may elicit a chuckle, but the idea was to give as much quick detail before getting to the meat of the review. For instance I break down the sex content into categories. That way potential readers can decide if certain acts are in their comfort zone. Of course, some of my shelves are totally subjective such as "heroes who should be castrated" or "smack hero/heroine with clue bat". ."FPD I think my most subjective shelf is "caught in a bad romance" because I have every rating lumped in there. It could mean, I'm stuck in my book-OCD mode, passed the point for me to DNF, and now I'm stuck in a stupid book until finished. Or it could be just like the song, and the couple's relationship is so wonderfully tortured.
Tina,I truly, absolutely believe in the HEA without the explicit sex scenes. The sex scenes usually reminds me of one long one night stand, burns hot quickly but won't last.When a couple is truly emotionally, and mentally connects, when they just get each other shows me they will have a better chance of staying together.
People around me fall in love all the time, couples that's been together for years. I don't have to see them have sex to know they love each other, It shows in the way the react to and treat each other.
I feel the same way about the books i read. I'm not saying there can't be sex in my romance books, but without explicit explanations of whats going on.
Let's face it, sex can be had very easily, it can be bought, true love can't, and if the sex is to show us the couple loves each other, fictional or otherwise, then every one night stand can make it an argument that for that instance they were in love.
I do understand what you're saying though, but for me if it doesn't touch my heart and have me doing more eye rolls than anything or make feel as though I want to gag. It ain't for me.
Sex just doesn't equal love to me.
Hey Arch, it's good to see you here. you're right most IR books are think of as sex books,if I hadn't found some authors I love, I would have given up the genre a long time ago. It's a shame that a whole group of readers are being over looked by most IR authors even the so called young adults are more erotic, most all the new books coming out or came out lately is about erotic sex or the young girl is prostituting herself in some way.
And Arch, it shouldn't matter how much you spend on your books or where you get them from, you still took the time to find and buy, using your valuable time to read it. I've had to return quite a few books because there was no warning before hand about it's content. I want to support more IR authors, but I won't support an author just because she writes IR, especially when readers like me is being looked over.
I agree Rae and I'm doing the same, sticking to the few authors I know will give me a book with substance and meaning more emotional than physical.
Rae, could you gibe me the names of those authors you're talking about? Maybe I can find something from them to read.
you know this makes me a little sad being disappointed and having to rant about genre I would truly love to support, but hey what can we do, I won't read an erotic sex book just because it is IR.
Diva, I've read a few book that goes into the category of "heroes who should be castrated" more than I'd like.
Arch, I'm really happy to see you here:)
Mod
I've gotten so burned out that right now I'm on a mission to read more books that leave out the sex altogether to see how tension and chemistry is built and how the story is strengthened using emotions. I love that. I guess you can say it's kind of like the pre-CGI days in filmmaking. CGI was cool when it came about but then filmmakers got lazy and used it as a cheap and easy tactic to shock, awe and touch upon the audiences' baser feelings. Give me miniatures and creature makeup of ye olde as a break from the constant CGI-fest. When you're working with a low budget, most get creative in how they use their visuals to tell a story. Same thing with sex in romance books today. I like love scenes that show me how the hero and heroine are bonding and coming together rather than Ikea sex descriptions. The last book I read recently that I remember doing this well was Michelle Onuorah's Remember Me.
I'm def finding that if I stick to a few of my faves they tend to deliver what I'm looking for in a read. I just can't support IR blindly anymore.
Sure, I can share some of my faves. J Jewel Adams is probably my favorite IR author because she writes with such awesome emotion. I also like Tori Chase who does the same and also adds some suspense to her books. I reread my GP books by Seressia Glass, Giselle Carmichael and Beverly Clarke from time to time. On my reading list are authors that I know focus on the emotion rather than the physical end of romance: Kim Golden, Lena Hampton, Rena Mense, Nikki Walker, Dorothy Koomson. I still have to read a few of their works but I've definitely sampled a few and loved what I read.
It is sad to have to rant but it comes from a long time of frustration I'm sure. It's really sad that I have to read mainstream books to find more of the type of meaty, emotional reads I would love to see in IR. I try to write some myself but it's not exactly the same as relaxing and reading. At least I have a few community challenge reads to catch up on and some old backlist books. :-)
Excuse my post if it is all over the place as I'm about to crash for the night and it's rather late here so my brain is slightly mush. :-)
Mod
Sex does not equal love.
I love writing tension. I love showing how my characters have chemistry. I have read so many stories, where the hero and heroine did not have chemistry. The pairing was forced.
Sex will never sell my way. A relationship based on sex will never last. Sooner or later someone in the relationship will get bored and start looking for new sex partner. A relationship based on sex is not driven by love, but by lust and lust will never be satisfied.
Away from my characters, my favorite IR couple is Sam Starrett and Alyssa Locke. Their relationship was based on love and not sex. They are a couple, I wonder what's going on in their lives now. I know they aren't real, but I could read about them forever.
I hate to hear that YA is going the erotic right. Sex should never define a person.
Rae, it's nothing for me to write a story for myself. I use to handwrite my stories prior to owning a computer and I would snuggle up to my own stories. I still snuggle up to my stories that I print out. I read them on my computer or online as well.
We do not have to wait for the IR genre to wake up to what we like to read. We can continue to read stories by authors that write stories we like.
I wonder has anyone considered or written a book with a black woman with a physical disability. Would anyone read that? I imagine if a woman was in a wheelchair, it might leave more room to get to know someone, as sex might not immediately be a factor in the development of the connection.
I respectfully disagree. I believe sex can be romantic without it always giving the image of "love making." But perhaps how books have gone about it had turned readers off?
I think there's always going to be not enough or too much for readers, and it won't be easy to please all of us, especially with our opposing opinions about the subject.
I wonder why sex is never depicted "realistic" for reads with interracial themes. Aren't first times typically awkward? Characters having mind blowing sex the very first time? Ok, yea it happens, but I would like to see it happen in ways that depict diverse outcomes as well. Sometimes sexually compatibility isn't always something you're entitled to, sometimes it's something you have to earn and work at.
But then again, I'm with many of you who find the most risqué a bit distasteful, but wouldn't mind seeing a little more build up.
Who knows? Maybe people are reading this and considering things right now :)
I respectfully disagree. I believe sex can be romantic without it always giving the image of "love making." But perhaps how books have gone about it had turned readers off?
I think there's always going to be not enough or too much for readers, and it won't be easy to please all of us, especially with our opposing opinions about the subject.
I wonder why sex is never depicted "realistic" for reads with interracial themes. Aren't first times typically awkward? Characters having mind blowing sex the very first time? Ok, yea it happens, but I would like to see it happen in ways that depict diverse outcomes as well. Sometimes sexually compatibility isn't always something you're entitled to, sometimes it's something you have to earn and work at.
But then again, I'm with many of you who find the most risqué a bit distasteful, but wouldn't mind seeing a little more build up.
Who knows? Maybe people are reading this and considering things right now :)
Oh yea, and sex doesn't equal love. But do we not become intimate with people were in love with?
Mod
I do not read erotic books, but people say that a lot of them have "sharing story lines". Where is the love? If a man loves his wife, he would not share his wife, the same thing with the wife, she would not share her husband. A man and woman that's truly in love would not believe in sharing. Where is the HEA in those kind of stories?
Do you know that some married couples do not have sex, unless they want to get pregnant. Does this means that they do not love one another? No.
Some people feels that kissing is more intimate than sex.
What if the man or woman can not perform anymore- what would happen to the love?
I think there is a lot of confusion between Erotic reads and Romance. I always have thought of erotica being about the sex, which means there doesn't have to be any love or romancing involved. It's all physical, therefore that's why everything happens so fast and it can get as nasty as any Penthouse letter. It's all about instant gratification. A book you can open it up to any page and find a masturbatory aid.
Romance to me is pages and pages of getting to know each other, sexual tension and actual consummation may not even happen until you are 200 pages in, even if then. It's all about anticipation of fornication.
Now I like to write Romantica. A book that has the romance, the anticipation, with erotic sexual scenes.
This is why I get infuriated when a person reads an erotica and ask where is the romance? Or a person read a romance and say the sex scenes are lame. Do your research. If an author puts erotic on it, she's usually mean hard sex that may or may not have any emotion involved in it.
If you don't see romance in the keywords anywhere, you are probably going to be disappointed at the lack of buildup between the characters before and or after the sex.
Ree
www.shireemccarver.com
Metal Love Songs
Emotonal wrote: "Tina,I truly, absolutely believe in the HEA without the explicit sex scenes. The sex scenes usually reminds me of one long one night stand, burns hot quickly but won't last."I think you may have misinterpreted my earlier post a little bit. I wasn't in any way advocating that absent sex you could not have a believable HEA. The entire modern romance genre that set the standard that many authors still use today was built on books with little to no sex.
A strongly built relationship is the foundation of any good HEA with or without a lot of sex. In other words, just because a lot of very explicit sex may be present doesn't mean that there isn't also a strong romance as well. It depends on the talent of the writer.
I agree 100% with you on the fact that too many books substitute sex for good relationship building. It is especially problematic in IR because we simply don't have the deep bench that mainstream does to absorb it as just another off-shoot. These books should be rightfully called out on that score. However I can't automatically dismiss a book as 'not romance' just because it does have a lot of sex.
The presence of sex isn't what makes the book problematic when it comes to believing the HEA. It is the absence of a relationship that is the problem.
Mod
Shiree wrote: "I think there is a lot of confusion between Erotic reads and Romance. I always have thought of erotica being about the sex, which means there doesn't have to be any love or romancing involved. ..."
Thank you Shiree you explained that perfectly. I actually love the genre when it's well written. I don't like couples whose only connection seems to be sex, but believe that once trust is established, it can open the door to deeper intimacy. It makes sense when a couple is in the deepest love of their life, that they push their boundaries in the bed too. That's something that happens in real life too.
Now I'm curious to know of there are any heroines with physical disabilities. Black women with disabilities is nearly absent in the genre, and the average able bodied person doesn't see a need for it. But it should be a consideration.
Arch wrote: "Shiree, does erotic books fall under two labeling? Erotic and Erotic Romance. On the side of the book, what will be written? Can the following labels been found on the side of an erotic book?: Cont..."Well there was the time books actually was tagged as Romantica when it's a mix of both. This is where I learned the word. No it's not on the side of the book, but I have found and I try to put it in the beginning of the book where the copyright information is. Otherwise, on Amazon and most book places they allow you to put keywords to give readers the heads up. I personally categorize my books in Romance. Zola's Magic touch is the only book I've written about it being about the sex and Dirty Little Secrets has short stories of both Romantica and erotic.
Guinevere wrote: "Now I'm curious to know of there are any heroines with physical disabilities. Black women with disabilities is nearly absent in the genre, and the average able bodied person doesn't see a need for..."That's true and I agree, not as many books being written as I'm sure there are women with disabilities reading about all these flawless women.
I would like to address more disabilities sometime in future books. I wrote my character Mary Christmas in All I Want for Christmas series with a disability (my personal disability) Hidradenitis Suppurativa.
This is one of my best selling books because people could relate to her imperfection including being obese. This to is another of my issues though it's not a disability for me as a reason for others to be rude to me about it, so I see it as their disability of personalty. Mary is the closets truth to me that I've ever written in my books and how some people put her down I took it personal, but hey, I got over it.
Some big women got upset with me because of Mary's insecurities with her size, well she is like me she is as proud of her size as even a small woman is as long as the person she with his paying her compliments instead of putting her down. You tell a big or ugly woman she's beautiful enough just like any other woman she will believe it. So this is what Alec the hero is for her. Some people got it and some put it down because she needed a man to tell her this. Well it wasn't his words that causes her to believe it, it's the way he loves her that forces the change. Those who got it are like me, racked with mental and physical imperfections. They get why in spite of her weight problem she was an emotional eater. She didn't think I will drown my sorrow in a salad like some reader obviously think she should have done. She grabs for popcorn with extra butter loaded with a box of sugar babies, like me. lol
I have written a lot of books dealing with mental handicaps such as depression, and suicidal tenancies. I would like to tackle more physical handicaps. It's just another subject like tackling mental disabilities, you have to do your research and try to write respectfully instead of condescending.
Ree
www.shireemccarver.com
Mod
Shire, you are a beautiful woman and so is your character. Words can hurt, but a person does not have to accept hurtful words and plant them on their ground. Throw those seeds in the trash, where the belong.
I have never written a story with people with a disability, but I do like to write characters with flaws.
Arch wrote: "Shire, you are a beautiful woman and so is your character. Words can hurt, but a person does not have to accept hurtful words and plant them on their ground. Throw those seeds in the trash, where the belong."Thank you Arch, I don't have those insecurities anymore now that I'm almost 50, it's just not that important anymore. Having one pain free day is all I ask for now. lol
Ree
www.shireemccarver.com
Mod
@shiree I would love to see you tackle a heroine with a physical disability. Maybe it's a fantasy amongst people who are able bodied(which I am, so I'm asking for the diversity as a person who doesn't always have to question whether I'm being represented as far as my physical capability) but there's such a fear or hidden prejudice over people with disabilities , that they can't be desired.
Seems like women will write a hero with a disability than the opposite. Able bodied readers don't realize that we often shut women with disabilities out.
Seems like women will write a hero with a disability than the opposite. Able bodied readers don't realize that we often shut women with disabilities out.
Mod
@Guinevere
Now that would be an interesting read, especially in YA.
I'm thinking sex is never depicted as realistic is because IR has gone into fully fantasy mode. When it started, it was a little more realistic, but with more readers saying they read to get away from real life (especially the race issues), it's gone in the other direction now.
Indeed we get intimate with the ones we love but I guess I'm of the mind that I'm perfectly happy with the intimacy in real life with my husband that I don't need to read about with fictional characters. I want to read about the feelings, emotions and obstacles instead, especially if they mirror the same things my husband and I deal with. That's more satisfying to me.
Mod
Kudos to you, Ree, for tackling those subjects in IR. In YA it's called realistic fiction. :-) They sound pretty cool, too.
Mod
Indeed, hope you are hanging in there okay, Ree.
I dont think one has to read books for any reason beyond enjoyment. It doesnt necessarily mean that your relationship or marriage is lacking in any particular area for you to consider it an escape. It's all about reading about someone else's problems, someone else's joys and adventurous. That's what makes me enjoy books. For me it's a little bit like falling in love a little with every single new story. And that's a great thing! For some of us part of that process is sexual. For others and they don't want it included. Ultimately, of course, there's no right or wrong and every book is not going to appeal to every person.I do definitely get irritated though when the romance takes a backseat to the sex. But I do agree with those who have pointed out that this particular genre began rooted so deeply in the forbidden or "taboo" that the sexual aspect took over. It's unfortunate that more authors and readers alike have not picked up on the fact that that is no longer necessary to drive sales or to justify a readership who wants to see these relationships depicted.
Mod
CaliGirlRae wrote: "Arch wrote: "Take things easy and one day at a time Shiree"Indeed, hope you are hanging in there okay, Ree."
Thank you ladies. I'm hanging in Rae, it's more frustrating than anything. Living with acute pain is physically, emotionally, and financially draining. The mind is willing because I'm still young, I just don't know how much more the body can take.
Since it's moved to my groin and buttocks, there are days I have to write my books an interact online lying on my side typing with one hand. (laptop on hospital table beside the bed) I'm writing books that way and that's why it takes me longer than it use to. Also make my muscles ache I don't know how many more years of writing I have left before I'm forced to retire.
I want to try voice writing just in case it comes to that because I love what I do, has anyone tried that? Does it work?
Ree
www.shireemccarver.com
message 1030:
by
Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors
(last edited Jul 23, 2014 12:08PM)
(new)
Mod
Also hearing about the heroine's body parts gushing and stuff like that is a real turnoff for me. I also read one book where a dildo was used in a picture sent to the hero. That was way over the top for me.
Everyone has their own comfort level, and I'm not judging others, but my isn't being met in IR currently. That's pretty much why I'm not buying a lot of IR.
Mod
Indeed, hope you are hanging in there okay, Ree."
Thank you ladies. I'm hanging in Rae, it's more frustrating tha..."
Wishing you many pain-free days to come, Ree. If it helps any, my dad suffers from pains and he takes the Boswellia herb and some aspirin. Not sure if you are open to homeopathic treatments but maybe that can help ease it a little? Hopefully.
My friend suffers from similar too and she's been having a tough time getting back to writing like she used to because she has been bed bound. I know she uses the voice writing technique (I think she has the Dragon software) and it's been a great boon to her to get her thoughts and ideas on the page. That may be able to help you write more easily and I hear it gets better and more in tune with your speech and voice the more you use it. Hopefully it will help give you many, many more years of writing to come. :-)
Mod
Have any of you that prefer the "sweet" romances tried any of the IR labeled Christian Romance or Inspirational Romance? If so, are there any authors that have become a go-to for you?
Mod
Mod
I've tried a few and really enjoyed what I read. I like Tori's short story A Thankful Love which I recently just read and liked a lot. I really want to read her book From Across the Divide which some have likened to Being Plumville (another I really want to read that's recommended to me a lot). I'd still like to read the Serial Games series and her Raphael and Alejandro. I know most folks here read Remember Me by Michelle Onourah which was really good with a nice inspirational message and an amazing message about the strength of love and marriage.
My go to author is Jewel Adams who sprinkles a bit of an inspirational message and meshes it nicely with characterization. I think my faves by her are Tears of Heaven A Love Story (love this book) and Against the Odds (but the latter has a sad ending for the couple later on in the books so you may not want to get invested if you plan on continuing after this book). Lena Hampton and Rena Manse also write inspirational IR and I may be adding them to my go to list as soon as I get to check out their works. I hope to find more.
Mod
Savannah wrote: I dont think one has to read books for any reason beyond enjoyment.Well said! To each her own, and all of that.
message 1038:
by
Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors
(last edited Jul 23, 2014 01:27PM)
(new)
Mod
Well said! To each her own, and all of that."
I'm mostly an escapist reader. I have to enjoy the books I read. As a reviewer, I will regularly read books that aren't exactly my thing, but if I have a choice, I will choose books with storylines and in the genres that I enjoy. I've experimented in my reading and I have a feel for what isn't my thing and I usually avoid those kinds of books. I'm definitely not the reader who picks up books I know I will hate just to write ranty reviews about the things I didn't like when I knew I wouldn't like them to begin with.
Mod
I know what I like to read and if a book have what, I will not read the book or finish a book.
I dont think I have a boundary if the love story is well developed. My turn offs are more caught up in word usage and authors oversimifying complexe issues and conversations. I remember reading a couple of Kimberly Kaye Terry books years ago and wondering why one of them really worked for me but the other one seemed like it was way over the top with the sex. I finally figured out it had nothing to do with the raunch...the relationship development just wasnt as detailed and I didnt feel like the bond was as intense.
I also love Suzanne Brockmann and have come to realise that sex scene wise, her stories are actually not all that graphic compared to alot that Im used to now. But she has a TRUE talent for description that amps up the heat level without even using a lot of raunchy words. So really, I can be happy with either though I admit I am NOT not a fade to black girl. As long as the lovin in and out of the bedroom is intense, Im happy.
Mod
I'm like you guys though. After reading so many different kinds of books, I tend to stick with what I know I will tend to like but I'll step out now and then and try other reads that may come rec'd to me with good stories and characters. If I get burned too much on certain books, I tend to step away from them.
message 1042:
by
Danielle The Book Huntress , Sees Love in All Colors
(last edited Jul 23, 2014 02:20PM)
(new)
Mod
@ Arch, escapist is another way of saying genre fiction as in not literary or non-fiction. While there is nothing wrong with using books as an escape, I wasn't implying that I read books to get away from my life. Although there were definitely times in my life where I definitely dived into a book to forget about my problems.
I think maybe reading escapism has an unfairly negative connotation. I think really getting lost in a story is an escape of sorts. Doesnt mean you hate your life or surroundings....just that you like immersing yourself elsewhere once in a while. Im grateful for my job and actually kind of like it- but reading on my lunch hour provides a welcome escape! Mental break, change of pace, etc.
Mod
Totally agree. Well said!
Mod
I know what you mean. After reviewing for so many years, I have gotten more critical about what I read. I see more writing mechanics issues. Also when you read books that are exquisitely well-written, you come to the point where reading a book that is poorly written becomes very apparent. Of course, there are plenty that are squarely in the middle.
Mod
@ Danielle, I think I mixed the two up also! In the case of genre fic, love it. :-) I gotta have my sci-fi, fantasy and thrillers. And thanks to you for getting me into Anne Stuart. I love the way she writes.
Mod
So true.
Mod
Savannah- Quad Motherin' Book Readin' Diva wrote: "I think maybe reading escapism has an unfairly negative connotation. I think really getting lost in a story is an escape of sorts. Doesnt mean you hate your life or surroundings....just that you l..."Savannah, I definitely use certain books to escape into another mindset,place, and/or time. It's also a way to dream and still be awake. Can't see anything wrong with that. Books have helped me understand viewpoints of people completely different than me, in much less stressful way, than listening to talk radio. lol
Pagan...thats a damn fine point.Maybe Rush Limbaugh should consider romantic fiction.
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.
Fans of Interracial Romance
Books mentioned in this topic
Cold Warriors (other topics)A Thankful Love (other topics)
Against the Odds (other topics)
From Across the Divide (other topics)
Tears of Heaven A Love Story (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Jewel Adams (other topics)Tilly Bagshawe (other topics)
Judith Krantz (other topics)
I wish there were more IR books at the USBs and libraries. There may be some in Overdrive but it depends on if the authors and pubs make it available there. For now, I'm sticking to like 2 or 3 auto fave IR authors that I know will have good, meaty reads. Those and my 00s GP paperbacks. I have to wonder what happened to those authors. Many of them don't seem to write anymore.