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Dating (Advice, etc.) > Sex and the plus size person

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message 1: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (last edited Mar 09, 2010 08:45AM) (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
First of all, get your minds OUT of the gutter! This in NOT a free for all, no holds barred, in gory detail discussion about sex, how to have it or how often. This is, however, a report about something that happened to me this weekend and how I mis-handled it.

So,the boyfriend and I went to a store for couples this weekend to look around and see if anything struck our fancy. (I asked to go.) Now the store in question, is a very nice store. It is not sleazy and you don't feel like you need to shower as soon as you leave. All the staff is dressed in business casual, the store well lit, and the merchandise is very nice.

We parked in front, and that's when my problem started. In the window, were 2 posters advertising lingerie. 2 thin, buxom women. That started me feeling bad about myself. After a few tears, and being told I don't have to go in, the boyfriend gently said to me, " Are you going in or are you going to let 2 posters kick your a**?"

We went in. The first display on the wall was for full figure. (My fat fannny!) More than what I would have expected and more than this store has carried in the past, most of it was the 2-3x range. The same sizes available in large apparel catalogs. I was upset already and that didn't help. Now, my boyfriend does NOT care if I have on a t-shirt or a push up bra on,he loves me for who I am and thinks I'm beautiful in what ever I am wearing.

The effects of the store lingered throughour the weekend, and are an on-going refrain for me and I will take a wild guess, for other larger people. Why do we get left out of the lingerie department? Why do we have to feel that we are not atractive, when we obviously are to a lot of the population (a lot of people like larger people, they just don't want to admit it publicly)then why can't we have things that make us feel as sexy as our partners see us?

I know I said some of this before, and probably will again, but I feel that every one should own at least 1 thing that makes you feel attractive. We all deserve that. I am still working on believing that I am worth more than I am given credit for, and working on silencing the very loud chorus that says I am not.

This weekend, my boyfriend was able to be heard over the noise, and as long as I can keep hearing myself, I think it may be o.k. I just have to keep the posters from kicking my a**.


message 2: by Paul (new)

Paul (merman1967) | 228 comments No, we are not left out of the sexy clothes... we just have to typically find it online and pay a small fortune for it, make it ourselves, or find someone that custom makes the clothes. Phht.

I have shopped at Casual Male and King Size Company for many years, being over 400 and 6'5" since 11th grade. You can't even see what the clothes look like on big people in the catalogs... they only use tall people (or guys that wear MAYBE a 50 at the MOST).

And the brick-&-mortar stores? They don't even carry half what the catalogs do.


message 3: by Kim, Proud Queen of the Fat and Fabulous! (new)

Kim (mrsnesbitt) | 1031 comments Mod
Tis true, very true!


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