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message 1: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Hey. This is a short poem I wrote about nature. It's a haiku so it may not make too much sense.
Starting with a seed
It needs sunlight and water
In order to bloom

Waterfalls crash down
The river speeds quickly by
Leading to a lake

Wind passes through trees
A swishing noise from above
A cold chilling breeze

The sun bursts through trees
It warms the whole area
Casting light on all

The honey-bees fly
The butterflies float on air
The beauty abounds

-Nyx


message 2: by Emily (new)

Emily Cool


message 3: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Here's another one about nature. It's kind of acrostic, kind of free verse.
Peaceful breezes fly past.
Every nerve seems to cool.
Rainbow trout swim through the rivers.
Ferns and other plants uniquely abound.
Earth breathes calmly here.
Careless calmness collects.
Trees tower above the grass.
Lonely gnats and flies become predators of food.
Yellow leaves collect at the roots of trees.
Natural beauty glows.
An afternoon sun warms the soils.
The unmarked trails and wonderful adventures.
Underneath the clear blue sky.
Rocks shimmer under streams and lakes.
Each little part makes up the grandeur.
-Nyx


message 4: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
And the last one. It's a similie and metaphor poem about nature, again.
The hot sun beats down like a blue fire.
The babbling brooks are giggling gnomes. The river flows like liquid steel, smooth and full of strength.
The trees are looming giants.
The seeds are as small as ants.
The buzz of the bees is like the purr of a kitten.
The birds are snowflakes, dainty and frail.
The wind is like a sleeping lion, soft but frightening.
The berries are pebbles, small and bright.
The rush of the waterfall is like the roaring of a dragon.
The bright sun is a flashlight.
The fish are as swift as foxes.
The lakes are glass.
The peace is as accepting as death.
The feelings in nature are the feelings of a spirit in Heaven.
-Nyx


message 5: by Eli (new)

Eli Reyes (pxndxEli) | 18 comments hey have u ever read the verses by Jose Marti he is a cuban writter and ur style is kinda like him thats cool


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Nice Bells! I'm not putting meh haikus up. They suck. But I'll put up others.


message 7: by Diana (new)

Diana Here's a link to a story I'm writing. It only has one paragraph though...

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/5...


message 8: by Kelly (new)

Kelly (Kel-bel) | 4 comments I like the second poem. You're a good poet. :)


message 9: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Eli wrote: "hey have u ever read the verses by Jose Marti he is a cuban writter and ur style is kinda like him thats cool"
No. I haven't read stuff by him.


message 10: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Girl on Fire *Rose* wrote: "Nice Bells! I'm not putting meh haikus up. They suck. But I'll put up others."

Sure, sure. Nobody sucks. They just don't appeal to you.


message 11: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Diana wrote: "Here's a link to a story I'm writing. It only has one paragraph though...

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/5..."


I like it so far.


message 12: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Kelly wrote: "I like the second poem. You're a good poet. :)"

Thanks. :)


message 13: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Emily wrote: "Cool"

Thanks.


message 14: by Emily (new)

Emily Hello!


message 15: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Hi!


message 16: by Emily (new)

Emily How are you?


message 17: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Tired. I'm always tired for some reason. I don't know why. But I do know that it could be stress because I have a goal assignment to finish on Friday. And my goal was finishing writing a musical (I'm weird like that) and I'm not even done with Act 1.


message 18: by Emily (new)

Emily That sucks.


message 19: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Yeah. It's just cause I'm stuck on one song. And it's because my sister wrote the music before I wrote the lyrics, so now I have to fit the lyrics with the music instead of her having to fit the music with the lyrics. It really sucks.


message 20: by Emily (new)

Emily I'm sorry.


message 21: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
It's okay. I'm going to post more poems on here now.


message 22: by Emily (new)

Emily Yay!


message 23: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
This is a haiku called Death.
Death is an escape
From the hardships of the earth
And the pains of life

Death helps you escape
All kinds of bad temptations
And consequences

It's a safe haven
Where everything is perfect
And love can abound

Joy is astounding
It makes hardships look deadly
And internet old

You can scream all you
Want, but you're safer in death
Than in your old life

Death can be peaceful
But only if you let it
By accepting death

-Nyx


message 24: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Here's an acrostic poem called Midnight Massacre.
Moaning and groaning of the people.
Innocence in their eyes.
Defenseless and weak, they watch in horror.
Night clouds the weaponry from the children.
Illegal and evil, the murderers emerge.
Ghoulishly, they laugh.
Hints of the weapons glint in the moonlight.
The tied up innocents can't scream.
Midnight is stricken on the clock.
Armies of murderers come forth.
Slashing at the darkness, they menacingly laugh.
Slaying the people with ease.
A piercing scream rips through the air.
Chuckling, the murderers cut off the sound.
Red floods the streets as the murderers laugh away.
Each day they come back for more bloody vengeance.

-Nyx


message 25: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Here's a rhyming poem called The Ball.
Violins tune up,
The conductor waves his baton.
The music starts,
The slow beauty going on and on.

The dancing begins,
Several couples drift to the floor.
Sweeping, swaying,
Laughter starts to pass o'er.

The music speeds up,
The dancing speeds, too.
Spinning quickly, swishing of gowns,
There's nothing else anyone can do.

Slowly, the music tones down,
The couples slow with the song.
The clock loudly rings twelve,
Everyone's danced all night long.

-Nyx


message 26: by Emily (new)

Emily Cool


message 27: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Here's a free verse poem called Truth & Lies.
There are two things
We've all forgotten
In our endless obliviousness
Of our lives.

Those two things are
Truth and lies,
And we don't know
Which is which.

In this crazy, hectic
Life, no one
Remembers how to tell
The real truth.

We only say what
We think is
The now, fake truth,
Otherwise a lie.

Truth and lies are
The most important
Things in life if
We want trust.

There are two thing
We've all forgotten
In our endless obliviousness
Of our lives.

Those two things are
Truth and lies,
And we don't know
Which is which.

-Nyx


message 28: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Here's another haiku called Love.
All love is painful
You never grasp the beauty
Until the hurt goes

Love breaks peoples' hearts
But it can also mend them
If the love is true

Love is forgiving
But only after the crap
You see the good half

The happy side shows
The laughter and sweetness come
Nothing can go wrong

Then he breaks your heart
You don't know the reason why
So you grieve and weep

You find another
He acts better than the last
But he won't want you

So you forget him
And you choose your family's love
But your heart still breaks

-Nyx


message 29: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Here's a sensory/ imagery poem called Waterfalls.
The waterfall crashes down.
The sound roars in my ears.
I smell the freshness of the crashing waters.
The water glistens with a crystalline blue.
I see the foaming white where the falls hit the water below.
The water freezes my feet as I dip them into the swiftness.
I pull them back and feel the warmth of the sun wash over them.
The cool mist of the waterfall sprays my face clean.
I walk across the wet rocks, my feet sliding as they go.
The cool breeze blows over me, giving me goosebumps.
The mud squishes under my icy toes.
I run to stand under the wintry feel of the high falls, rocks piercing my feet like daggers.
The speedy water pounds my back like a thousand bricks.
I come out on the other side drenched by the water that roars so furiously, smells so clean, feels so cold.
The hot sun dries and warms me as I step and slip on moss.
I bask in the heat until I'm ready to pass through the frozen bricks again.
The roaring of the falls grows louder as I am pounded on again.
I grab my rowel, fresh mists in my face.
I walk to the edge of the water again.
The icyness of the pool chills my bones.

-Nyx


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/6...

Read this please it's just a little story I wrote


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Chaessee ~~I Fell Down The Stairs~~ wrote: "http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/6...

Read this please it's just a little story I wrote"


Nice. I really liked it, and I absolutely loved the dialgoue. I would say definitely work on your punctuation and grammar, and slow down the story more. It seems sooooo rushed and like she was skipping through her entire day in under ten minutes. So maybe add in more detail and slow things down.
Keep writing!


message 32: by Laura (new)

Laura (xmagical) Same thing Rose said: It was really good, just try slowing it down some. :)


message 33: by Allison (new)

Allison (NyxLadyoftheNight) | 44 comments Mod
Chaessee wrote: "http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/6...

Read this please it's just a little story I wrote"


I agree with them. It's a little rushed. And my OCD was killing me with the grammar and punctuation. Sorry. But other than that, it was great. And it's also kinda flat without that much description.


message 34: by Kish (new)

Kish Kish (KishoreDaswani) | 1 comments Hi guys, I'm Kish and new to this group. I'm looking forward to some constructive criticism (as I am not getting that from my family or friends) I am also looking forward to critiquing works by other authors in that way we all can grow together :)

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/2...


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