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General Fuckery > Ok, so lets say...

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message 1: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17319 comments Mod
That the apocalypse comes. And everyone is wiped out but those who spend their time on TC. For some reason we're immune, lets say because we hear about the need to blahbedy blah via GR and nobody else does.
Ok. So we're all survivors, The Stand style, and we set up a communal house.

Now, we all live in Boulder (cause that's where the good people go in The Stand) in a big ol house. We all have to take a chore, a duty, to keep our house running.
Remember, this is post apocalyptic times, so we don't need you going out and selling your homemade charm bracelets or something. We need someone to raise and slaughter the chickens. Someone to tend the alfalfa fields, etc.

I'll do all the ironing. I really don't mind ironing.
I'd like to say that I'd be the cook, but I tend to get resentful of daily cooking for others, especially when I feel like it's not being appreciated. But I'd never resent ironing.
It just dawned on me that after the apocalypse we might not need pressed shirts. Hm.

Well, I'd give everyone haircuts. That's a need that wouldn't go out, right?

What would you do to contribute?


message 2: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I would cook anytime you didn't want to. And yeah I think wrinkled clothes are not something that will impact survival.

I'll carry firewood and keep the fire going. I would rather not cut and split the wood, though. Just carry it and burn it.


message 3: by Cambridge (new)

Cambridge (hsquare) | 509 comments Laundry..... ugh..... I think i am a professional at it :)


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

I'll cut down the trees, and do the gardening.


message 5: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I'll help with the gardening.


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Hhmmmmm. Not much use for accounting skills. I think you will have to toss me out, to suvive on my own into the cold. (unless Larry lets me help with the cooking)


message 7: by Zen (new)

Zen (zentea) | 515 comments I will train our pack of wild dogs. Because we will need dogs to protect our chickens and kill the zombies.


message 8: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17319 comments Mod
Ooooh! Good one. I'm glad you'll do that. I'll be happy to have those dogs there for protection, but I wouldn't want to have to train them.


message 9: by Mandy (new)

Mandy (mandypants) I would take cooking and baking, but it seems like Larry and Sally have that covered. I can take care of animals like chicken, pigs, goats, llamas, and lambs. (One summer working at camp in Iowa.) I know I could clean them if someone else would do the slaughtering. I can also make blankets if someone gives me yarn.


message 10: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Just to be clear, I don't bake. Well, I can bake bread or stuff from a mix. But I guess there won't be any mixes available.

I can gather the eggs.

Oh ... and make the wine.


message 11: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 13815 comments I can train the horses and take care of them and teach everyone to ride. Also, I'll keep you entertained at night (songs, people, get your minds out of the gutter) if someone else is in charge of brewing the beer.


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

I guess that means I'm out in the cold. Thx Larry


message 13: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Gail wrote: "I guess that means I'm out in the cold. Thx Larry"

No! There's plenty to do relating to food!


message 14: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17319 comments Mod
Oh, I'm totally the baker. I'll make bread and doughnuts and muffins and such.

Sometimes I might make a stew or a pot of chili, but I can't be called upon to be whipping up oatmeal every ding dang morning.

Who will brew the beer? RA? Since you're from beer country you could do that, right?


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh I remembered I do have a skill. I can hang and mend fishing nets (my dad was a fisherman). Someone else will have to do the fishing, I can't stand the smell.


message 16: by Mandy (new)

Mandy (mandypants) MUST find the beer maker.


message 17: by Zen (new)

Zen (zentea) | 515 comments Until further notice, we can keep my husband alive to brew beer. He's good at it. But be forewarned. He does not read for pleasure (only work). He says there are "too many words". It's a wonder I married him.

Hey.... will there be books, Sally? I think if there are no books I would have to set my wild dog pack on myself....


message 18: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11549 comments I'll write books for everyone to read, and keep our own story going. Official recorder and archivist? I also love hard labor. Set me up to till the fields & chop that firewood. Maybe I'll finally get that elusive six-pack.


message 19: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11549 comments By the way, which one of you kitchen people is making the chocolate? Can I be your friend?


message 20: by Sally, la reina (last edited Feb 22, 2010 08:15PM) (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17319 comments Mod
Oh absolutely, Zen. There will be books. We found the coolest plot of land with a big ol farmhouse right on Boulder creek, just a few blocks from the public library. Books galore.

How does one make chocolate? Did someone trek all the way from South America and bring some cocoa?


message 21: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Don't forget we will (or someone will) have to ... um ... propagate the species.


message 22: by Zen (new)

Zen (zentea) | 515 comments Propagate? As in "take your arm off at the shoulder and graft it to RA's head"?


message 23: by Sally, la reina (new)

Sally (mrsnolte) | 17319 comments Mod
Someone will have to do that to Larry's arm.


message 24: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Someone!


message 25: by [deleted user] (new)

I’ve seen it done on a gardening show. Will that be enough experience?


message 26: by Zen (new)

Zen (zentea) | 515 comments I think so.... now, who will volunteer to hold Larry still so we can cut off his... body parts ... and graft... them... in order to propagate?


message 27: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) I need my arms (all two of them) to cook for you ingrates.


message 28: by Zen (new)

Zen (zentea) | 515 comments OK, Leave the arms. Take everything else. Got that, Gail?


message 29: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) This is getting more like The Road all the time.


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

Yep. No worries. I'll let Larry choose which bit goes first.


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Have we got anyone to hold him down yet?


message 32: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Oh that makes it better.


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

Thank goodness. I can now abandon the fishing nets!!!!!!!


message 34: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.


message 35: by Félix (new)

Félix (habitseven) Thanks, Ms. Wat. For the help.


message 36: by [deleted user] (new)

Does that mean I'm back on the fishing nets?


message 37: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Damn. I got to the house late, and everyone took the good ones.

I'll carry heavy things. Does that work? And help with all the other stuff. We'd need wheat, etc. to make beer. Does the internet still work? We can probably figure out how. Or go to the Boulder library and check out a book. Will the libraries still be open? We could break a window.


message 38: by Knarik (new)

Knarik Ok, I am a good embroider, so I can mend clothes. I can feed chickens, as I have seen how women in a villege I was spending my summer holidays in were doing it. I can cook. Oh and I also can sew blankets and mattress.(I saw haw it was done and even once did it myself). But I would rather organize the governmental elections! We must have a government, we can't survive otherwise, and we must have courth to decide about Larry's case.


message 39: by [deleted user] (new)

Well, since RA didn't jump on the beer making, I can do that, I do it about once a year now.


message 40: by Catalina (new)

Catalina | 268 comments I can spin yarn, mend/refurbish clothes, build small structures like chicken coops and planting boxes, and i can teach basic math and reading to the youngsters (small class sizes, please!).


message 41: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 13815 comments I'll bet we've got some good teaching skillz among us. Youngsters assumes the propagating worked.


message 42: by Catalina (new)

Catalina | 268 comments Can I just be the alluring but forever-unattainable school marm who spins, builds, fishes, and mends in her free time? I don't want to propagate with anybody but my honey, and he's not on GR.


message 43: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Oh, wait, teaching counts? I'm in. I'm pretty good with my hands, I guess, too. And I've decent cardio, if we need somebody to run a couple miles.


message 44: by Dr. Detroit (new)

Dr. Detroit | 6001 comments Maintain the liquor cabinet and fishing gear.


message 45: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Define "maintain", good sir.


message 46: by Dr. Detroit (new)

Dr. Detroit | 6001 comments Conduct inventory, button down the security, and periodically taste test for spoilage.


message 47: by Youndyc (new)

Youndyc | 1255 comments Okay, off topic only slightly, but this reminds me of an article I read yesterday:

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/...

What a hoot of a business idea.


message 48: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments Man, I think pets should go to heaven before all the humans...


Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments Who says pets don't have souls?! Mine do!

Oh, I am good at building and maintaining fires, thanks to my camp counselor experience. I can crochet afghans and scarves for the group, I can cook and do dishes afterwards.
Oh, and I could do the librarian stuff, too, since we'll have books. :)


message 50: by Mary (new)

Mary (madamefifi) I can sew, plus I'm a nurse. But what I really want to do is herd cats. NOT for eating! For....you know....all those other things cats do to be useful. I'll think of an example and get back to you.


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