Ok, so lets say...

[Sally, la reina]

That the apocalypse comes. And everyone is wiped out but those who spend their time on TC. For some reason we're immune, lets say because we hear about the need to blahbedy blah via GR and nobody else does.
Ok. So we're all survivors, The Stand style, and we set up a communal house.

Now, we all live in Boulder (cause that's where the good people go in The Stand) in a big ol house. We all have to take a chore, a duty, to keep our house running.
Remember, this is post apocalyptic times, so we don't need you going out and selling your homemade charm bracelets or something. We need someone to raise and slaughter the chickens. Someone to tend the alfalfa fields, etc.

I'll do all the ironing. I really don't mind ironing.
I'd like to say that I'd be the cook, but I tend to get resentful of daily cooking for others, especially when I feel like it's not being appreciated. But I'd never resent ironing.
It just dawned on me that after the apocalypse we might not need pressed shirts. Hm.

Well, I'd give everyone haircuts. That's a need that wouldn't go out, right?

What would you do to contribute?

[Félix]

I would cook anytime you didn't want to. And yeah I think wrinkled clothes are not something that will impact survival.

I'll carry firewood and keep the fire going. I would rather not cut and split the wood, though. Just carry it and burn it.

[Cambridge]

Laundry..... ugh..... I think i am a professional at it :)

[[deleted user]]

I'll cut down the trees, and do the gardening.

[Félix]

I'll help with the gardening.

[[deleted user]]

Hhmmmmm. Not much use for accounting skills. I think you will have to toss me out, to suvive on my own into the cold. (unless Larry lets me help with the cooking)

[Zen]

I will train our pack of wild dogs. Because we will need dogs to protect our chickens and kill the zombies.

[Sally, la reina]

Ooooh! Good one. I'm glad you'll do that. I'll be happy to have those dogs there for protection, but I wouldn't want to have to train them.

[Mandy]

I would take cooking and baking, but it seems like Larry and Sally have that covered. I can take care of animals like chicken, pigs, goats, llamas, and lambs. (One summer working at camp in Iowa.) I know I could clean them if someone else would do the slaughtering. I can also make blankets if someone gives me yarn.

[Félix]

Just to be clear, I don't bake. Well, I can bake bread or stuff from a mix. But I guess there won't be any mixes available.

I can gather the eggs.

Oh ... and make the wine.

[Sarah]

I can train the horses and take care of them and teach everyone to ride. Also, I'll keep you entertained at night (songs, people, get your minds out of the gutter) if someone else is in charge of brewing the beer.

[[deleted user]]

I guess that means I'm out in the cold. Thx Larry

[Félix]

Gail wrote: "I guess that means I'm out in the cold. Thx Larry"

No! There's plenty to do relating to food!

[Sally, la reina]

Oh, I'm totally the baker. I'll make bread and doughnuts and muffins and such.

Sometimes I might make a stew or a pot of chili, but I can't be called upon to be whipping up oatmeal every ding dang morning.

Who will brew the beer? RA? Since you're from beer country you could do that, right?

[[deleted user]]

Oh I remembered I do have a skill. I can hang and mend fishing nets (my dad was a fisherman). Someone else will have to do the fishing, I can't stand the smell.

[Mandy]

MUST find the beer maker.

[Zen]

Until further notice, we can keep my husband alive to brew beer. He's good at it. But be forewarned. He does not read for pleasure (only work). He says there are "too many words". It's a wonder I married him.

Hey.... will there be books, Sally? I think if there are no books I would have to set my wild dog pack on myself....

[Phil]

I'll write books for everyone to read, and keep our own story going. Official recorder and archivist? I also love hard labor. Set me up to till the fields & chop that firewood. Maybe I'll finally get that elusive six-pack.

[Phil]

By the way, which one of you kitchen people is making the chocolate? Can I be your friend?

[Sally, la reina]

Oh absolutely, Zen. There will be books. We found the coolest plot of land with a big ol farmhouse right on Boulder creek, just a few blocks from the public library. Books galore.

How does one make chocolate? Did someone trek all the way from South America and bring some cocoa?

[Félix]

Don't forget we will (or someone will) have to ... um ... propagate the species.

[Zen]

Propagate? As in "take your arm off at the shoulder and graft it to RA's head"?

[Sally, la reina]

Someone will have to do that to Larry's arm.

[Félix]

Someone!

[[deleted user]]

I’ve seen it done on a gardening show. Will that be enough experience?

[Zen]

I think so.... now, who will volunteer to hold Larry still so we can cut off his... body parts ... and graft... them... in order to propagate?

[Félix]

I need my arms (all two of them) to cook for you ingrates.

[Zen]

OK, Leave the arms. Take everything else. Got that, Gail?

[Félix]

This is getting more like The Road all the time.

[[deleted user]]

Yep. No worries. I'll let Larry choose which bit goes first.

[[deleted user]]

Have we got anyone to hold him down yet?

[Félix]

Oh that makes it better.

[[deleted user]]

Thank goodness. I can now abandon the fishing nets!!!!!!!

[Félix]

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.

[Félix]

Thanks, Ms. Wat. For the help.

[[deleted user]]

Does that mean I'm back on the fishing nets?

[RandomAnthony]

Damn. I got to the house late, and everyone took the good ones.

I'll carry heavy things. Does that work? And help with all the other stuff. We'd need wheat, etc. to make beer. Does the internet still work? We can probably figure out how. Or go to the Boulder library and check out a book. Will the libraries still be open? We could break a window.

[Knarik]

Ok, I am a good embroider, so I can mend clothes. I can feed chickens, as I have seen how women in a villege I was spending my summer holidays in were doing it. I can cook. Oh and I also can sew blankets and mattress.(I saw haw it was done and even once did it myself). But I would rather organize the governmental elections! We must have a government, we can't survive otherwise, and we must have courth to decide about Larry's case.

[[deleted user]]

Well, since RA didn't jump on the beer making, I can do that, I do it about once a year now.

[Catalina]

I can spin yarn, mend/refurbish clothes, build small structures like chicken coops and planting boxes, and i can teach basic math and reading to the youngsters (small class sizes, please!).

[Sarah]

I'll bet we've got some good teaching skillz among us. Youngsters assumes the propagating worked.

[Catalina]

Can I just be the alluring but forever-unattainable school marm who spins, builds, fishes, and mends in her free time? I don't want to propagate with anybody but my honey, and he's not on GR.

[RandomAnthony]

Oh, wait, teaching counts? I'm in. I'm pretty good with my hands, I guess, too. And I've decent cardio, if we need somebody to run a couple miles.

[Dr. Detroit]

Maintain the liquor cabinet and fishing gear.

[RandomAnthony]

Define "maintain", good sir.

[Dr. Detroit]

Conduct inventory, button down the security, and periodically taste test for spoilage.

[Youndyc]

Okay, off topic only slightly, but this reminds me of an article I read yesterday:

http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/...

What a hoot of a business idea.

[RandomAnthony]

Man, I think pets should go to heaven before all the humans...

[Jackie "the Librarian"]

Who says pets don't have souls?! Mine do!

Oh, I am good at building and maintaining fires, thanks to my camp counselor experience. I can crochet afghans and scarves for the group, I can cook and do dishes afterwards.
Oh, and I could do the librarian stuff, too, since we'll have books. :)

[Mary]

I can sew, plus I'm a nurse. But what I really want to do is herd cats. NOT for eating! For....you know....all those other things cats do to be useful. I'll think of an example and get back to you.