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Writing Challenge > Pamela's DH Story "Love to Hate"

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message 1: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Okay here is what I've written so far and hopefully I'll get some inspiration to continue.
I don't know how to do love scenes so any written will probably be PG or PG-13.
It's possible I may write in a little violence but nothing too gory.
It will be a traditional story with girl/boy love interests.

Love to Hate (Working Title)

Kidnapping his partner’s sister was not on his to-do list. Then why had he done just that? Because it was the only way he could get her to come with him. Tyler Bennett had asked him to get his sister out of town for the weekend and when he went over to persuade her to come with him Matt should have known there would be problems.

They had met six months ago at a barbeque at Tyler’s house. For reasons unknown to Matt, Laura Bennett hated Matt MacAlister at first sight. The few occasions they had seen each other after that had been filled with sarcastic and downright hateful comments from Ms. Bennett. Matt just took things in stride and ignore what he could. After all, she was his partner’s sister and off limits anyway.

Now Matt drove down the highway doing as close to the speed limit as his heavy foot would allow with a gagged, handcuffed and extremely angry woman in the back seat.


message 2: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
I really like it, Pamela. Keep it coming. I like your voice. And there's already lots of tension. Thanks for sharing, Pamela!


message 3: by Arch (last edited Feb 18, 2010 01:53PM) (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela,

I'm hooked. I want to second that I like your writing voice. Tension city.

Lol, the heroine is not a happy camper.

So many heroes and heroines start off on trouble ground.

Take your time, but do share more please. :)


UniquelyMoi ~ BlithelyBookish Oh, fantastic! Thank you for posting and please, do keep sharing!


message 5: by [deleted user] (last edited Feb 18, 2010 02:33PM) (new)

Ok .. you will have to write a little love scene in :) :) :).. to much tension already love the kidnapping thing.. this is a great thread


message 6: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Rachael wrote: "Ok .. you will have to write a love scene in .. to much tension lvoe the kidnapping thing.. maybe i can help you .. im sure i can write it at an entertaining whilst keeping it clean .. hmmm maybe j..."

That would be awesome... I'd love some help! and I've written a little more...

**********
It took almost two hours for Matt to get to his destination. It was a small, wooden cabin belonging to his Uncle Chuck and was located a short walking distance to a lake. The house had 4 rooms altogether plus a miniscule bathroom. Two of the rooms were bedrooms plus a living room and a kitchen. None of the rooms were very large. Now was the hard part, Matt thought as he got out and went to the back door of the SUV.

Laura was seething! That arrogant Neanderthal jerk actually kidnapped her! How dare he! When she got out of this that man was so dead. She knew the moment she met Matt MacAlister that he was nothing but bad news with a capital BAD. Even though she only met him about six months ago, Laura had heard stories about him from her brother, Tyler. Tyler had told her what a player Matt was. Tyler had told her how insatiable he was when it came to women and had bragged he could have whatever woman he wanted. Laura was not about to become a notch on his bedpost. At her brother’s barbeque, Laura had overheard him getting the phone number of a young woman and promising to meet her later. The woman looked to be barely eighteen and was the daughter of one of the other policemen that worked with him and her brother. How much lower could a man be?

The back door opened and Laura gave Matt the most murderous look she could muster. Instead of unlocking the handcuffs and removing the gag, Matt picked her up and carried her into the cabin and dumped her on the sofa located in the living room.

Matt stared down at his captive, knowing he would have to let her out of the handcuffs soon. He knew there would be a major battle when he did and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it. He’d much rather face a crazed druggie or even a homicidal maniac.

“Okay, Miss Bennett! Here is the situation! Tyler asked me for a favor and as much as you annoy me, he is my friend and so here you are.” Matt continued with a condensed version of the situation that brought them here to this tiny cabin. Her brother Tyler was getting threats from a powerful businessman that he and Matt were investigating. When one of the threats mentioned his sister, Laura, Tyler knew he had to get her out of town until they could arrest the guy. Tyler was meeting with an informant who promised some very incriminating evidence on the man and it was hoped that the man would be behind bars before the weekend was through.

“I’m going to release you now but I won’t hesitate to lock you back up if you give me hard time,” Matt warned. He took the key to the handcuffs out of his pocket and unlocked Laura.




message 7: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela, I am so glad that you have decided to write. Look at what I would have been missing if you didn't.

I hope Laura doesn't put Matt in the headlock.

I'm waiting patietly for the next installment.


message 8: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
Very awesome! I love your writing, Pamela.


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Love it really good so far :)


message 10: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
thanks for all the compliments ladies. I'm working on the next part but don't like how I'm writing it so please be patient
:)


message 11: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela wrote: "thanks for all the compliments ladies. I'm working on the next part but don't like how I'm writing it so please be patient
:)"


Pamela,

Take your time. You don't have to rush to put anything out. You are not on our time. We are on your time. :)


message 12: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
The second that the handcuffs were off Laura pulled the gag off her. Laura growled as she balled her fists but Matt managed to grab her wrist before she was able to strike. The other fist swung out but Matt was ready for that one too. “So you do like being tied up? It won’t bother me a bit to keep you in cuffs the entire weekend.”

“Let me go, you sleazy jerk! Cretin! You are so dead, moron! When I get my hands free…” Laura struggled to pull her wrists free but Matt had grips of steel. She was forced to try a different approach. “Okay, I won’t hit you! Let me go! Please!”

“Now that was too easy. You don’t think I’m falling for that, do you?”

“Look, Matt,” Laura pleaded, “we have to go back! Tyler needs you. I can stay at my friend, Emma’s for a few days.”

“As much as I want to be there, Laura, I can’t! Tyler needs to know that you’re safe and he knows that I won’t let anything happen to you. No matter what!” Matt let go of her and headed back out the door to grab the bags of groceries that he loaded in the vehicle for their weekend at the lake. Uncle Chuck kept the electric on in the cabin in the event he ever wanted to get-a-way at the spur of the moment. So when Matt went shopping earlier he had bought several items that required refrigeration and needed to get them into the refrigerator as soon as possible.

Laura jumped up and raced after him. “Matt, please! We can’t let Tyler do this alone!”

“He’s not alone, Laura.” Matt handed Laura a plastic grocery bag he had taken the time to fill with a few of her clothes. He continued back to the cabin with his arms loaded. In the kitchen he unloaded the supplies.

Laura followed him back in, pleading again for Matt to reconsider. “I’d feel better if you were there. Tyler says you’re the man to have at his back. He trusts you!”

“He trusts me to keep you safe and that’s what I’m going to do! So button it or so help me I will gag you again!” Matt picked up a small duffel bag and headed to one of the bedrooms. The room he went to was located at the front of the house and had a double bed. The second bedroom was located in the rear of the building and had a set of bunk beds.

“You can’t tell me to shut up! And if you come anywhere near me with that… that thing… I will…. I will… Well, I’ll hurt you something bad!” Laura was so frustrated by Matt that she couldn’t even come up with a good come back line. Tyler was her only living relative since her parents died just over a year ago. Both victims of a drunk driver. Their mom died instantly but dad had lingered in a coma for nearly two days. Tyler moved her away from the small town they lived in to the city so she would be closer to him and had been the rock she needed to lean on as she grieved. She could not lose Tyler! She had to convince Matt to take her back.



message 13: by Arch (last edited Feb 20, 2010 09:31AM) (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
lol, Laura will do what? :)

Matt is a typical hero that wouldn't hesitate to shut up a heroine by gagging her.

I'm sure that if Laura had a chance to talk to her brother, she would tell him how much she hates Matt.

lol, cute story.


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

I am so feeling this tension between them .. i no i shouldn rush this story but "just rip her clothes of already" LOL you are a natural at this pamela


message 15: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
Pamela, you have a gift for dialogue, and keeping the story moving.


message 16: by K. (new)

K.  (maddywoo) | 44 comments Pamela wrote: "Okay here is what I've written so far and hopefully I'll get some inspiration to continue.
I don't know how to do love scenes so any written will probably be PG or PG-13.
It's possible I may wri..."


Ok, I'm halfway through but I need to take a catnap because I'm an old maid but what I've read so far, I'm loving. I love love LOVE dangerous stalker heroes =)

I'm definitely gonna finish this.


message 17: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Quiet, at last! Matt finally retreated to the bathroom to take a shower and get away from that woman! She still hammered on the bathroom door for about 10 minutes after that. He took the time to check his text messages and even sent a text to Tyler that he made it there. Now clean and refreshed he debated whether he was ready to face the shrew again.

With Matt in the shower, Laura finally took a look at her surroundings. The cabin was basically a square with the bedrooms located on the left side of the building with the bathroom between them. The living room was located in front of the house and the kitchen to the back. Decorated in what could only be described as 1970’s garage sell eclectic, the living room boasted of a well worn sofa and equally worn overstuffed chair. There were a couple of small end tables arranged around the furniture with a few knickknacks and pictures and even a few books. In the far corner stood a small cast iron wood stove that warmed the cabin nicely in the cooler temperatures.

The kitchen was slightly smaller than the living room with cabinets and appliances lined up on two walls. A kitchen table occupied the opposite walls along with four mismatched chairs. A cozy place but not home. Home had been living with her parents until their death. Tyler had offered to move into a larger place and have her live there with him but she knew enough about men to know that little sisters could put a damper on a bachelor’s social life. She was still getting used to living alone. At the age of 25 she should have been on her own years ago. But it had been convenient and cost effective to stay home and go to college. And then after college, her entry level job made paying the loans off slow.

It was after eight in the evening and she realized how hungry she was. Rummaging around the kitchen she managed to locate the necessary items to make herself a sandwich. She felt rather than heard Matt when he finally graced her with his presence.

“Would you like me to fix you one?” she asked.

Matt was startled that she was so calm and just a little worried. That old adage “calm before the storm” and all.

“Uh, sure. Do you need any help?”

“No, I have it. Do you want mayo or mustard?”

The next few minutes were spent in fixing the sandwiches. They ate their sandwiches in silence and Laura took the opportunity afterwards to get herself a shower.


message 18: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela, you have that author writing pack down.

Thanks for sharing another installment.

Laura calmed down. That's good for Matt. Maybe she'll be nicer to him. Then again :)


message 19: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Arch wrote: "Pamela, you have that author writing pack down.

Thanks for sharing another installment.

Laura calmed down. That's good for Matt. Maybe she'll be nicer to him. Then again :)"


but did she?
I'm still trying to decide.


message 20: by Arch (last edited Feb 28, 2010 08:52PM) (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela wrote: "but did she?
I'm still trying to decide."


That's why I have said, "then again".

Waiting patiently for the next installment.


message 21: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
I'm waiting patiently, beside Arch. :)


message 22: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "I'm waiting patiently, beside Arch. :)"

Hey, it's nice to have you beside me. :)


message 23: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
Thanks!


message 24: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "Thanks!"

You are welcome!


message 25: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
lol, I'm waiting patiently too :)
I got to get back to it but have had things to do. Thanks for being patient...


message 26: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Tied and gagged again! But this time she was in the trunk of a car. Laura had thought getting back to Tyler was a smart idea but now she felt like one of those “too stupid to live” heroines that she read about. After her shower she came back into the living room and she and Matt had actually had a civilized conversation before she excused herself to go to “sleep”. If Matt wasn’t the player he was Laura could easily see herself falling for him. He was attractive in a sort of rough Marlboro man way. His dark brown hair was almost black, his eyes a deep brown. He stood just under six feet tall with a slim athletic built. Her shorter 5’5” frame would fit comfortably against his. If he wasn’t such a….

She had waited until she was sure Matt was asleep and snuck out. When Matt was showering earlier she had gone outside to look around and found a motorcycle in a small shed next to the cabin. The keys were found in the kitchen and she took the chance that it would run. It had taken a while to figure out where she was and the two hour trip had taken closer to three to get back to her house. She was just going to grab her purse and her own vehicle and then go to Tyler’s but someone was waiting in the house for her. She didn’t remember if the door had been closed when Matt grabbed her earlier so when she arrived she just went on in.

She remembered reading about kicking out the taillight and she attempted to maneuver her body around to do just that. She was almost in position when the car jerked and started to swerve all over the road, tossing her from one side to the other. She heard what sounded like shots being fired before she hit her head and all went black.

Matt opened the trunk, praying that they hadn’t killed her. He wanted that privilege himself. The two men who had taken her were out cold. One had taken a bullet but would live. He had already called for backup when they had sped up which indicated they knew they were being followed. He shot out a tire and had to dodge a few bullets himself when he hit the driver causing them to served off the road and knocking them both out. He had taken the time to relieve them of their weapons and cuff them until his backup got there but he couldn’t wait around for them. He couldn’t chance that more of J. D. Kingsley’s men may be close by to finish the job.

Damn, she was out cold too. Either that or they already killed her. Matt checked to see if Laura was breathing and sighed in relief to see she still was. Too bad she was his partner’s little sister, he thought. She was really sort of cute. Not overly thin, thank goodness. He hated those anorexic looking types. Her hair was a dark honey blonde and she had some of the prettiest blue eyes he had ever seen. He didn’t deny a bit of attraction to her but she was off limits and would stay off limits. He continued to check for bleeding but only found a small knot on her head. He cut her wrists free, removed the gag and gently hauled her out of the car and back into his SUV. There he seat belted her in. Then got in himself and headed out, making a call to let the backup know what to expect when they got there.

He had woke when he heard the motorcycle start. It had taken him a moment to realize it was Uncle Chuck’s motorcycle and he cursed himself for his stupidity. He couldn’t believe he had forgot about the motorcycle. He had almost caught up to her when he realized he didn’t have the gas to keep going and had to stop. He had arrived at her house just in time to see the car leaving and knew instantly that Laura was in it. He had followed hoping he wasn’t too late.

Going back to the cabin was really the only option he had at this point. Luckily, they closer to the cabin from here and it would only take a little over an hour to get back over there. Then he was going to cuff the woman and get some badly needed sleep.


message 27: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
lol, cute installment Pamela.

Laura been kidnapped twice. Laura has something in common with Sanjar. She will be kidnapped again as well.

What's up with the hero wanting to be the one to kill the heroine? :)

I guess she's theirs to kill.

Poor Laura, she's about to get handcuffed, so that Matt can get some sleep. She's not going to like that.

Those stubborn heroines! :)


message 28: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
Great action scene, Pamela.


message 29: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Just peeping. O O

Still waiting patiently for the next installment.


message 30: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
Me too!


message 31: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
sorry, havent written anything for a few days. havent figured out where to go with it :(
I'll try harder.


message 32: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela wrote: "sorry, havent written anything for a few days. havent figured out where to go with it :(
I'll try harder."


Just relax Pamela. There's no rush. I was just peeping.

Watch something, read something or even listen to something that motivates you. Something that gets in the writing mood.

Sometimes, our brain wants to take a break and if that's the case, then writing shouldn't be forced.

Take your time. :)


message 33: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Laura came to only minutes after Matt retrieved her. Her head was aching and arms sore from being tied but other than that she felt like she was going to live. She groaned softly from the pain and opened her eyes to see she was back in the SUV with Matt but in the front passenger seat this time.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Are you going to try running again?” Matt asked.

Laura still wanted to get to her brother but her common sense was kicking in and she realized that it wasn’t a viable option at the moment.

“No,” she muttered in defeat.

“Good.”

The rest of the trip was done in silence. Laura struggled to stay awake but found herself dozing off a few times. Matt struggled too, but with his emotions. Controlling his angry had never really been a problem for him. The things he saw in his job often angered him but he knew that in order to do his job right he had to keep that emotion well controlled. He found running and working out helped considerably during off duty hours. But the emotions he felt now went beyond anger. He wanted to kill the men who took her. He wanted to yank the men out of the car and beat them to a bloody pulp. He understood these emotions but he didn’t understand what he was feeling towards Laura now. Watching her when she was unconscious and then when she came to and groaned in pain he felt a strange feeling of protectiveness and possessiveness toward her. Yes, his job was to protect her and he was doing that but this possessiveness thing was new. Feelings for his partner’s sister simply wasn’t wise. It was against the rules. He made himself a list of rules long ago and number one was no relationships with co-workers’ family members. It was a code of honor to him. But something about her was doing a job on him. It must be exhaustion setting in. He’d only had a few hours sleep the night before and maybe ten minutes worth earlier. Yes, that was it. Just exhaustion. When he got back to the cabin he would get his needed rest and would be back to normal.


message 34: by Arch (last edited Mar 11, 2010 07:47PM) (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Yeah, when Matt wakes up, he will still have those feelings for Laura.


message 35: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Pamela this is really a pretty good story for someone who hasn't written before. Good Job!


message 36: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Thank you Stephanie. I always thought I'd be an artist. I never thought about writing much, though I do have an imagination :)


message 37: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
I love it!


message 38: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie An imagination is always good. You have a really good story on your hands. Step away from it for a couple of days, and when you come back to it you will be amazed at what you see, what you change and where the story takes you.


message 39: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela wrote: "Thank you Stephanie. I always thought I'd be an artist. I never thought about writing much, though I do have an imagination :)"

Imagination is the key.


message 40: by CaliGirlRae (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 276 comments I love these two! Awesome chemistry right off the bat and great action. I hope you continue it, Pamela, because it's a great story. :-)


message 41: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
I'm actually looking at it now trying to decide how to proceed. I don't want to be too predictable.


message 42: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
You can do it, Pamela!


message 43: by CaliGirlRae (new)

CaliGirlRae (rae_l) | 276 comments Yeah! :-D


message 44: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
thanks :)


message 45: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Pamela wrote: "thanks :)"

You're welcome.


message 46: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
******

It was still dark when they arrived back at the cabin but dawn would be upon them within the next hour. Laura woke up enough to drag herself in to the bunk bed in the back bedroom. Matt forced himself to check in and around the cabin before he too found his bed.

It was nearly noon when Laura woke up. She could hear a low snore coming from the other bedroom which told her Matt was still sleeping. She went to the bathroom and took care of her morning requirements.

A few minutes later found her in the kitchen rummaging to find appropriate breakfast items, though a look at the clock indicated it was lunch time. She managed to locate the ingredients for pancakes and coffee. The coffee was done and the pancakes were nearly so when Matt finally rose and she could hear the water running in the bathroom. How was she going to be able to thank him for saving her? Obviously, she was going to have to swallow her pride and try and get along with him. Laura just couldn’t get the thought of his roving ways out of her mind. Sure, it was none of her business if he chose to sleep with every woman he met or even half of them. She didn’t have to join in. No matter how much his eyes reminded her of the hot, dark, strong coffee she just made or his hair, the only soft thing on his entire body. Well, it didn’t hurt anyone to look, right?

Laura kept her attention on the pancakes as Matt entered the room. She refused to allow herself the pleasure. Scared, too, that he may see the attraction in her eyes. If not for the information her brother had given her, she could easily see herself fall for this guy.

“Are you hungry?” she asked. “Pancakes are just about done. There’s coffee, too.”

“Uh, yes, coffee. Thanks.”

Matt headed straight to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. He took his black with one sugar. He never could resist that bit of sweetest in his coffee. He noticed Laura’s cup was also without creamer and wondered if she also took sugar in hers.

“Need a refill?” he offered.

“Sure, just a bit. Please.” He filled her cup and watched as she added one small teaspoon of sugar to her coffee. Interesting. Matt wondered if this was how the entire day was going to go. He almost wished for the quarrelsome, sarcastic brat back.


message 47: by Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal (new)

 Danielle The Book Huntress  (gatadelafuente) | 9736 comments Mod
Great installment, Pamela. More please!


message 48: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
thanks! I'm stuggling a bit with how to proceed. got to get the old noggin working.


message 49: by Arch (new)

Arch  | 4153 comments Mod
Matt wants to fight. That's a bad boy for you.

Laura better watch out.

I'm waiting patiently for the next installment Pamela.


message 50: by Pamela(AllHoney), Danger Zone (new)

Pamela(AllHoney) (pamelap) | 1706 comments Mod
Matt is still confused. He wants the old familiar Laura back :)
He doesn't want to feel anything for her.


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