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If Jesus Were a Pedophile...

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message 1: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=produ...

Honestly, people.... I don't even have any words for this... "art". My best friend's sister says:

"You moron. That's not Jesus, it's Bo Brady from Days of Our Lives."

But seriously... it's hard to believe people create stuff like this with no irony whatsoever.


message 2: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
no no... my best friend sent me the link. She is demented that way. Her name, by the way, is also Donna. : )


message 3: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
they are precious in his sight.
Jesus love the little childre of the world.

Now everybody sing!

Seems a bit sinister, now...


message 4: by Kirk (new)

Kirk | 136 comments I thought that was Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus...


message 5: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Ohhhh Doooonna, Oooohhhh Doooooonnnnaaa.....

Yeah, that would be creepy.


message 6: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I vote broadsword, cuz that would be cool!


message 7: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Oh, most excellent! This one is my favorite:
http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=produ...

But this one's good, too...
http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=produ...



message 8: by Amanda (last edited Apr 24, 2008 09:25PM) (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Donna, perhaps you already learned how to use a broadsword, but the dementia stole it away from you. Which is a shame really.


message 9: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
we'll be Maria and Tony... we'll bring together the tax evaders and the broadsword killers with our lurve!!! and then one of us will get shivved in the yard and die a bloody horrible death while the other one sings and splashes big salty tears onto the other one's face. it'll be awesome.


message 10: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Amanda... I about fell off the couch laughing at the "Father" tattoo one. Oh man... that's just WRONG!!!

as for the other one... my cat can paint better than that. Do devotion to God and bad taste *have* to go hand in hand?


shellyindallas people are weird.


message 12: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) I'd like to imagine that he's really singing an Air Supply song...


message 13: by Sheila (new)

Sheila Well, aside from the broadswords and tax evaders...

I could philosophize something about maybe those who create this kind of stuff really have to look beyond (or even deny) the irony of it all in order to have the kind of faith they do.....

But then I see Jesus in a tuxedo. It's midnight and I'm seeing a picture of Jesus in a tux.

That one does me in.

And now I've got that damn song in my head.


message 14: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I guess that makes me Natalie Wood... I have death by drowning to look forward to. Dammit... I hate Sharks.


message 15: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
This is the Jesus painting that hung in my house my entire childhood. Lucky me. My dad was a minister, you see.
It was always there, so I didn't even see it really, but now that I think of it, I'm sure it put off my dates.

http://media.collegepublisher.com/med...

And it was enormous, like 3 feet tall! But it's interesting that he's clearly a Californian.




message 16: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Californian? How so??


message 17: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
He doesn't look middle eastern, he just looks tan. And he's got that wavy sun-lightened brown hair.
Plus, the outfit looks a bit bathrobish to me, a la The Big Lebowski.


I may be overanalyzing it...


message 18: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I had a friend in college who looked just like that painting of Jesus. He used to wear a trench coat all the time, and try to give girls shoulder massages at parties. We called him Sister Mary Krishna, which he hated, but please... dude... fer serious.


Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
I don't know what is on that site, but it is blocked... Maybe jesus in drag?


message 20: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I'll email you some Nick... they are cracktastic.


Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
Woo Hoo now I can join in the banter.


Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
that first one is umm... pretty Pedophile-ish. Kinda gives me a creepy feeling. I feel dity






"yes father, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace, hail mary full of grace....


Is that enough for you to stop touching me?


message 23: by Varmint (new)

Varmint i think it's one of the oak ridge boys.

here's another internet classic...


http://www.evilmilk.com/pictures/Jesu...



message 24: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
LMFAO!!!! Oh man Varmint... that's SO WRoNG!!!!! Oh I almost choked on my own spit. Bloody hell... somebody is going to hell for sure for that one.


message 25: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
Hahaha! Donna, you are so right! He's the Golden Retriever of deities.
That light switch is a evil. Could it be in the bedroom of .... Satan?!


message 26: by RandomAnthony (last edited Apr 25, 2008 02:42AM) (new)

RandomAnthony I have the hardest time with Jesus as a white guy.

C'mon. Somebody once told me, "Jesus probably looked kind of like Saddamn Hussain" (sp?). and you know, there may be some truth to that. Have you ever heard anyone speak Aramaic (sp? again, it's early), too? It's kind of cool. Too many years of Catholic school left me thinking of Jesus looking, as Jackie quite well said, Californian.

Plus...a tuxedo? And a mullet? C'mon. That's anti-Christian, if you ask me. And I like Jesus. I'm not trying to disrespectful.


Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
(SP?) What is this?


message 28: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant [1] In those days Jesus came from Nazareth, and he was white and wore a mullett. And he was preaching in the wilderness of the greater Los Angeles conurbation,
[2] And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
[4] And the same Jesus had his tuxedo made by Manolo Blahnik, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey.
[5] And he loved the little children, and they came unto him.

A splendid internet find, but that Jesus switch MUST be a spoof. Please tell me it's not real.


message 29: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) More like HE came unto them...


message 30: by B. (new)

B. (briant) | 99 comments Gotta get me one of them Jesus light switches. It will go nicely with my Touched by Jesus personal massager...now with hand lotion in two new scents; frankincense and myrrh.


message 31: by B. (new)

B. (briant) | 99 comments WWJD...Who Would Jesus Do?


message 32: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant Amanda - shall we settle for "and he came on to them"


message 33: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) Maybe they all came on to each other. And it was good.


message 34: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
::::sets Donald on fire and then lays on him to put him out again::::


message 35: by Not Bill (new)

Not Bill | 1062 comments You may be more right than you know Donald. There is scant circumstantial evidence that Jesus was a swarthy, 5ft tall hunchback - which still doesn't put Jesus in the same class as Arafat-head. Close, though.


message 36: by Sarah (last edited Apr 25, 2008 11:51AM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Nick: (sp?) is what people put when they're not sure of spelling. You don't need to do that, however, as your lack of spelling ability is part of your abundant charm.

Everyone else: I think it's clear that I should just stay completely away from any topic that comes close to mentioning Jesus, God, faith, religion, prayer, church, etc. Because frankly I am sick and tired of it being implied that to have faith one must not use their brain.

I'd like to reiterate what Meghan said in a different thread: you'd never consider making derogatory comments about someone because of their race but it's perfectly okay to insult their religion.

(Yes, those pictures are ridiculous. I'm referring to message #18 and also to other messages in other threads where it has been implied that one would have to be either stupid or insane to believe in God.)



message 37: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
Jesus died pretty young, so I don't think he would have ever looked that gnarly.

I hope he looked more like this:
http://www.scifistar.com/sciimages/si...


message 38: by Not Bill (new)

Not Bill | 1062 comments Died young...crucifixion will do that to ya.


message 39: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I agree with you Sarah, the remark in #18 was completely uncalled for. Seeing as you are in company with people such as Isaac Newton (Anglican), Albert Einstein (Jewish), Werner Heisenberg (Lutheran), Marie Curie (Catholic), John Dalton (Quaker), and Enrico Fermi (Catholic)... I would say the accusation is patently absurd, and pointlessly insulting. Personally I have as little tolerance for atheists who think they are right as I do for religious people who think they are right. If you can't say "this works for me, what works for you?" then you are sucking precious air on my planet and I invite you to get the hell off.


message 40: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) I'm confused about how comment 18 is different than any of the other comments in this thread.


message 41: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I could philosophize something about maybe those who create this kind of stuff really have to look beyond (or even deny) the irony of it all in order to have the kind of faith they do.....

Implying that one must take leave of one's senses in order to have faith.


message 42: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
"maybe those who create this kind of stuff really have to look beyond (or even deny) the irony of it all in order to have the kind of faith they do..... "

It implies that people who have faith are in denial of something as sophisticated as irony. It implies that people of faith are simpletons.

The rest of the thread is making fun of the bad Jesus art, not of people of faith.


message 43: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant Ultimate relativism is nonsense Charissa, this would mean I would have to accept that the Nazi weltenschauung was perfectly valid for them, and obviously it wasn't, isn't, and never could be. Apartheid fans in the 70s and 80s could have said well darlings, this works for us! Tolerate our little ways!


message 44: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Paul, I'm talking about personal religious faith, not dogmas that are used to oppress, murder, and censure other people. I'm not spouting Ultimate Relativism. I'm saying that insulting people for having personal faith is being just as arrogant as people of faith saying the rest of us are sinners and are going to hell.


message 45: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
And insults are pointless, they don't move the dialog along.
But I gotta say, those paintings suck.


message 46: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) "But seriously... it's hard to believe people create stuff like this with no irony whatsoever." The word "irony" was also used in message 8 and perhaps some other messages in this thread.

The title of this thread is "If Jesus were a Pedophile..." In one of my comments, I made reference to "come on to" someone.

The whole freaking thread seems pretty blasphemous to me.


message 47: by Amanda (new)

Amanda (randymandy) cross posted w/ 52 & 53...


message 48: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
blamsphemy isn't a problem, insulting people of faith by calling them stupid is.


message 49: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant How about if I say "this particular belief is stupid" ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/sout...





message 50: by Jackie "the Librarian", Cool Star Trek Nerd (last edited Apr 25, 2008 12:43PM) (new)

Jackie "the Librarian" | 1818 comments Mod
LOL! And I bet it sells quite well on ebay.

I'm surprised there isn't some enterprising swindler out there adapting a panini-maker into an automated Virgin Mary grill.


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