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things people should no say tae ye...(kevin in a kilt)
message 51:
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Heidi
(last edited Nov 17, 2009 09:57AM)
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Nov 17, 2009 09:56AM
Hemingway's cats were the one thing that stayed with me when I visited his house in Key West. I LOOOOVED the cats.
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When I worked in facilities management - I was the maintenance supervisor for a residential real estate company - we had our fair share of crazy cat ladies.
Speaking of cats, one thing the local police always advised me of was to be aware of an overwhelming stench of cat piss. That meant one of two things: either Crazy Cat Lady isn't cleaning up after her cats, or you've got someone running a meth lab in their kitchen. Yeah, I had some dude run a meth lab in his kitchen.
Speaking of cats, one thing the local police always advised me of was to be aware of an overwhelming stench of cat piss. That meant one of two things: either Crazy Cat Lady isn't cleaning up after her cats, or you've got someone running a meth lab in their kitchen. Yeah, I had some dude run a meth lab in his kitchen.
What would being Crazy Ice Cream guy entail, exactly? Would you have dozens of freezers stuffed with gallons of ice cream, many of them impossibly old and freezer-burnt? Would you be hoarding only, or actually eating the ice cream? And if so, would they have to tear down a wall of your house and use a fork lift to get you out if you needed medical help?
"i could be Crazy Ice Cream Guy"What do you mean could be? :-)
My bad... indeed you are the Crazy Ice Cream Guy.
Mary, good, thoughtful questions. I wonder if he would also bathe in said hoarded ice cream. Perhaps smearing it all over the furniture so he can lounge in it? Although, he'd have to pay astronomical bills for the air conditioning being on at full blast.
Heidi wrote: " Hemingway's cats were the one thing that stayed with me when I visited his house in Key West. I LOOOOVED the cats. "I've been there, too. Polydactyls rule.
yes, and yes to all conjured up thoughts about crazy ice cream guy. i would have shoes made from those little ice cream sample spoons, wear only a DQ employee shirt and a speedo and possibly they would eventually find a frozen Schwann man in a freezer otherwise filled with butter pecan ice cream. i would have two cardboard cut out friends named ben and jerry sitting on the couch with me and would certainly live on Rocky Road.
Kevin, I'm beginning to worry about you now. ::shakes head::
Butter Pecan? That's just not right! New York Super Fudge Chunk filling your freezer, if anything...
Things People shouldn't say to you:At work, when one of your fellow office people get arrested for DUI & Aggravated assault, the 1st shift lead should not ask you to donate to a "collection" to raise 6k to bail his loser ass out. The nerve, how do I know he didn't beat the shit out of his girlfriend? Why do I want someone like that back in my office??
Ha! We've had that happen around here, too, Jamie...someone a few years ago through a party at a bar to bail a recurring DUI guy out...needless to say, I did not attend.
Books Ring My Bell wrote: ""when are you having more kids?""you can't have only one child!"
I also don't like being called "skinny"... Thin/athletic, whatever, just not skinny.
"
I hate being called skinny too, for me it has such a negative connotation that it bugs me when people say it.
i hate being called skinny too....it means the person saying it is a LIAR !!
Mod
It implies that not only did they think I needed to lose weight before, but that losing weight deserves congratulations. Bah humbug.
Not that anyone would say that to me these days. I'm looking quite rotund, thank you very much.
When people say:There's nothing to be scared of.
That's not anything to get to upset about.
You're over reacting.
Stop crying. Don't cry.
Some people say those things in misguided attempts to make people feel better, but a lot of times it's more to get the person to stop doing whatever it is that seems annoying, upsetting, aggravating. It really bugs me. How about some empathy and validation?
Mod
I know. I get that a lot. I'm a very intense person and however I react is right amount for me.And when I was little I started thinking that my mom and dad didn't know some important things. I was scared a lot and their idea of dealing with it was to tell me there was nothing to be afraid of. So it's like--what am I going to believe, that statement or my pounding heart, the adrenaline rushing around in my body, and the overwhelming urge to run away as fast as possible?
People seem bent on talking me out of feeling how I feel. Then and now. That's one reason I love therapy. There my feelings are validated and explored, not dismissed. And I'm learning to do that for myself, too. And also learning to have people in my life who don't dismiss my feelings. It's important.
But didn't you get the "Levels of Reaction" memo, Sally? I think that it went out QUITE some time ago...I'm kidding, but has anyone else noticed that it seems like women get the "you're overreacting" treatment way more often than men do? Perhaps a bit of implied chauvinism couched in that statement (and all of the other ones that Leslie listed in 65 for that matter...).
"but has anyone else noticed that it seems like women get the "you're overreacting" treatment way more often than men do?"Yup. There's a lot of debate in the field of psychology about the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, in particular, being mostly given to women.
And Leslie, that's one of my big triggers too, and why I refuse to cry in front of people. They will, without fail, tell you that "it's okay" or there's "nothing to cry about", without understanding my need to cry in order to get things out of my system. If there wasn't anything wrong, I'd probably not be crying, ya know? (Of course, I did this with my therapist too, haha, and she was validating and not dismissive.)
Re: #71: Oh yeah. Hated, even despised, when/if I had an emotional reaction of any kind in any place in front of anyone. Hate, hate, HATE it.Best reactions: One boss who just ignored it and continued to discuss the subject with me as though I weren't crying; and my current doctor who handed me a couple of tissues and continued to discuss the topic at hand as though I weren't crying.
Worst reaction? My beloved but numb husband: "Geez, you really have a cold, huh?" This astute question has come right in the middle of a couple of different arguments as copious tears and, I'm sorry to have to admit, some mucus, streamed down my face.
I do think it's a male/female chauvanist thing. Most guys would just be so much more comfortable if they didn't have to deal with those pesky emotions that us women keep confronting them with.Crying in front of people--that's a huge struggle for me. Too many years of don't cry, there's nothing to cry about it, and if those didn't work--stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about. It took me 18 months of therapy before I cried in front of my therapist. Now I do all the time, but rarely in front of other people. It feels so embarrassing! But why is it anymore embarrassing than laughing? My usual reaction to the combination of tears and the presence of anyone is to go to the nearest bathroom, lock the door, turn the water on full blast, and stay in there until I can emerge with the obligatory smile. It's pretty sick. It's isolating too, because if I think something will make me cry, I don't want to talk to anyone but my therapist--and that's not good. I have a lot of people that love me and that I love and that puts up a wall.
uh...i saw the Bind Side last night and cried right off the bat
Mod
Uh, no, our birth control plan ran out and we just tried the pull out method.
Yes, we've been trying for 72 weeks and finally, FINALLY sperm met egg.
It's not a topic of conversation to discuss how/why/when we planned (or not) to have this baby.
Gesh, that is really rude. It implies a lot of things, as well. I think people should have the general rule of: if you're happy, then we're happy for you. :)(Also, I really hope I wasn't out-of-line in asking whether you were going to wait to find out the sex of the baby. I would hope you would tell me if you felt it was out of line.)
That's like when someone asks "Who's fault is it?" when a couple has no children.
"Um, yea... I'm the one with the bum eggs." A little bit on the tacky side. ;)
Mod
uh...and then there is the "hey...are you pregnant?'yeah, i wait until someone tells me them self rather than assume that is a baby bump and open my ginormous mouth.
Uh, no, our birth control plan ran out and we just tried the pull out method. Hee. That's fucking awesome. Yes, people ask the weirdest questions about pregnancies, no doubt. Are people going to try to touch Sally's belly, by the way?
You know, like overfamiliar people, touching her? That happens to pregnant people, right?
*whispers*(Ahem... I like to hug pregnant bellies.)
I ask permission beforehand, though. If they seem uncomfortable with me touching belly, then I don't do it.)
i put my hand on preggo bellies alot too
Heidi, you should start a "Who wants to touch Sally's belly?" poll....
OHHH!! Good one!WAIT. Is she gonna get mad? Just in case, I'm blaming you...
Do not say to a pregnant woman: "Woah! are you sure you weren't due yesterday?!" or "Woah! are you sure it's not twins?!" A pregnant woman already feels trapped in the body of a stranger. She doesn't want to hear "WOAH!" at all, much less followed by anything that translates to how fat she is!
Yeah, I try to avoid all topics pregnancy with my sister - she's so touchy about that stuff, so it's better to not bring it up at all.
I think "Whoa!" should be avoided in just about any situation, other than perhaps while riding a horse.Edit: I have never been on a horse, so I can't say for sure.
Heidi wrote: "OHHH!! Good one!WAIT. Is she gonna get mad? Just in case, I'm blaming you... "
No! I was just the devil on your shoulder. You started the poll!:)
I'm still gonna point the finger at you.
She said I was old the other day, by the way... not that that had any influence on posting the poll. :)
Larry's old Heidi, you're still a young whipper snapper.
So says the Geezer.
So says the Geezer.
I guess it's a matter of perspective. From mine, you're a youngster.Speaking of perspectives, I found that when I became a parent, mine shifted dramatically.
I hear ya Larry. Perspective is a matter of perspective.
Jim wrote: "I hear ya Larry. Perspective is a matter of perspective."
Relatively speaking ....
