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The Budapest Experiment
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Blurb Critiques > Blurb - The Budapest Experiment - Intl Thriller

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message 1: by Maurice (new)

Maurice Miller (mauricegmiller) | 5 comments Here it is. Would love feedback...seems to be working pretty well. Thanks - Maurice

At what price does one sell their soul? ...It's Budapest Hungary in 1991. This international thriller novel follows the journeys of Michael, an adventurous, but struggling American entrepreneur.

Navigating his way through the streets of Budapest, he begins to make business connections in this new market economy. Behind it all he senses an air of mysticism, danger, and lurking evil.

A series of dealings and events leads him to a business consulting position within the Russian Mob. Recruited and seduced by the Organization’s women, money, and power, he becomes entangled in the web of Mob culture. An examination of conscience reveals a spirit ravaged with feelings of guilt and betrayal, a rapidly growing bank account serving as a means to justify his actions.

Pondering his future, Michael wonders if he can balance this extreme Budapest lifestyle with his “ordinary” family life back home. After padding his wallet for the past several months, would the Organization let him just walk away? What would you do?


message 2: by Nathan (new)

Nathan Wall (goodreadscomnathanwall) | 182 comments Too long.
You can also just say Budapest. You'd only need to specify if it was THE Budapest.
If I say Paris, you know France.
If I mean Paris, Texas, then I would need to specify.

The line about evil hung me up. When you combine evils and shadows and lurking, I think of some sort of Urban Fantasy. Are there supernatural elements? If not, you probably want to change that. If there are, you probably want to highlight and state as such.


message 3: by Maurice (new)

Maurice Miller (mauricegmiller) | 5 comments Nathan wrote: "Too long.
You can also just say Budapest. You'd only need to specify if it was THE Budapest.
If I say Paris, you know France.
If I mean Paris, Texas, then I would need to specify.

The line about e..."


Thanks for the feedback...suggestions well taken.


message 4: by Lily (new)

Lily Vagabond (lilyauthor) Hi Maurice, I realize you're new, but in this group, we don't allow promotions of any kind. Considering this book is already published, I have to wonder if you really are looking for constructive criticism.

If you are still looking for blurb citiques, I'm sure members will be happy to help out.


message 5: by Maurice (new)

Maurice Miller (mauricegmiller) | 5 comments Lily wrote: "Hi Maurice, I realize you're new, but in this group, we don't allow promotions of any kind. Considering this book is already published, I have to wonder if you really are looking for constructive c..."

Hi Lily...I thought I followed the guidelines properly. The book's publication date is not until May 25th, so I still have time to adjust the blurb when making the final submission to Createspace for print and KDP for eBook. Not sure where the "promotion" part is in this post. I did not include any links or promos.

Thanks,
Maurice


message 6: by Lily (new)

Lily Vagabond (lilyauthor) Maurice wrote: "Lily wrote: "Hi Maurice, I realize you're new, but in this group, we don't allow promotions of any kind. Considering this book is already published, I have to wonder if you really are looking for c..."

Ah, gotha, it's all good then :)


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