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Blurb Critiques > Blurb - Hashtag Bff (YA Contemporary)

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message 1: by Noelle (new)

Noelle Braaten (noelle_braaten) | 1 comments Here's my mini-synopsis!
Looking for any comments and suggestions! Thanks!

As a teenage girl and captain of her high school cheer team, Heather Blake is used to not being taken seriously, but she’s not about to let society’s view of Starbucks drinking, yoga pants wearing, and social media loving teenagers stop her from winning a National Cheer Team Championship.

Heather doesn’t have time for hot principals introducing rules about school activities, nor does she need Homecoming Kings or Apple Store Coworkers annoying her. Handling the usual drama that comes with captaining nineteen teenage girls is enough: naked pictures, college parties, crappy football teams, and don’t even get her started on the school dress code.

The team depends on her to succeed, but Heather soon learns that trying to tackle everything on her own can get overwhelming, and she’ll need her friends to make it to the top of the pyramid.

message 2: by Lily (new)

Lily Vagabond (lilyauthor) The story sounds cohesive enough, yet the blurb seems to have a lot of negatives.

not being taken seriously

doesn't have time... nor does she...

Just a couple of examples. I understand her life isn't perfect, she has teenage woes, but with so many negatives, it makes me wonder why anyone would want to read this story.

The last sentence, with all the previous negatives, makes me wonder why I should care if she succeeds. What does she have to gain? What does she stand to lose?

So, my recommendation, try to rephrase things with less negatives.

message 3: by Lena (new)

Lena | 187 comments Not sure if you're aware, but there's a popular self-pubbed contemporary NA series called The Hashtag Series (#Nerd is the first one).

I like your blurb, but it seems a little vague at the end. I'd like a bigger punch to really draw me in. The last line is cute, but not gripping.

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