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Writing Feedback > Looking for feedback on a cover

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message 1: by Jason (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
Hey everyone! I am very excited to release the cover for my first Novel in the Varsian Kingdom Series, "Arise to Fall."

Right now I am looking for feedback and mostly negative feedback. Might sound odd but any negative feedback is what I want to focus on because it will tell me what may need changed. Not that I will turn aside posative feedback it's great to know that it's a good design if it is. ;)

So here is the link to my author facebook page where the pictures are. Please let me know what you think! If you are interested in keeping up with my writing like my facebook page and that would be a great help to get the word out about the book as well!

message 2: by Lena, Shot through the heart, and you're to blame (new)

Lena (lenakarynn) | 1526 comments Mod
The characters on the front don't look very realistic - I'm guessing they're CG?
I think it would look better if you removed the colon from "Book One of: The Varsian Kingdom" or if you switched the order so it said "The Varsian Kingdom Book One".
Also, you might want to think about where the barcode is going to go, if it's going to cover anything.

Other than that, it looks good! I really like the designs and the map on the back!

message 3: by Jason (last edited May 04, 2015 04:09PM) (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
Yes, the characters are CG. Aside from hiring real people to pose (Which I don't know even where to look for people who would fit the bill) I am unsure how to really get the look I was wanting.

I will see about the colon. Grammatically I think it should be there but I don't think it's a big deal either way from a technical standpoint.

We have taken into consideration the barcode. It shouldn't cover the map but I am unsure how to arrange it to get the design in there and have the barcode covering nothing at all (As it will cover the corner of the design)

Thanks for the feedback and I do hope it comes out professional looking and all that. It's been a long rough road so far. lol

message 4: by Kendra (new)

Kendra Ardnek | 114 comments On the colon: if there is a preposition or a being verb or anything else that could link the two grammatically, don't use it, because its place in grammar (for the most part) is to take the place of said prepositions and being verbs.

Either take the "of" out, take the colon out or switch the placement of the two phrases. Frankly, colons on covers make them look a bit unbalanced, imho, so I'd just remove it. (How often do you see colons on book covers unless its in the middle of a line?)

But beyond the colon issue, I think it's lovely. I personally like CG, although there are readers who think its tacky, and you might loose people there. Also, there if there is room for your full name on a book's spine, its best to put your full name, especially in fiction, where books are usually sorted by author, and readers want to know at a glance which Hein wrote the book.

Just stuff I've noticed while doing my own study of book covers. Hope it helps!

message 5: by Jason (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
Thank you much! This does help and I will take this into consideration.

I have a second option for the cover (Though so far this version is just the front and only a few hours of time has been put into it. It's the very first draft)

Let me know which one you like better if you would be so kind as to offer more feedback. (Which I do greatly appreciate)

message 6: by Kendra (new)

Kendra Ardnek | 114 comments Ooh, I do like that one much better. I think that would attract readers very nicely.

message 7: by Jason (last edited May 04, 2015 05:11PM) (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
Alright, thanks a lot for the feedback.

I would probably do away with the characters on the second cover and as I said that is just a first draft with very little time gone into it so it would change a lot.

I'm quite betwixed and between myself....

message 8: by Lena, Shot through the heart, and you're to blame (new)

Lena (lenakarynn) | 1526 comments Mod
I like the second one better as well - I think it looks great! The characters look a lot more realistic, which I prefer, and it has an epic fantasy-ish look to it. And I think it would go well with the back and spine from the first one.

message 9: by Tamara (new)

Tamara Georges  (tamarasinnamon) I agree with Lena, I like the look of the second cover with the first back and spine. :)

message 10: by Kendra (new)

Kendra Ardnek | 114 comments Yes, even as is, it looks more professional than the first one (and if there's one thing that indie books need to be, it's professional.)

message 11: by Jason (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
Thanks everyone. So far the second one has got a lot better feedback.

I do greatly appreciate your impute it's very valuable to me. :)

message 12: by Lena, Shot through the heart, and you're to blame (new)

Lena (lenakarynn) | 1526 comments Mod
Glad to help!! I think the second one really looks great!!

message 13: by E. (new)

E. Writes (elizabethkaiser) | 32 comments Hey Jason!
I know this is a question about the cover, but the blurb caught my eye.
You might want to take out the "who" in the first line, just condense it a little, make it more punchy.
(Also, not to be a fly in the ointment, but I like the first cover's art better... it's clearer! But I like the second cover's title work.... ;-) )
Good luck with it... deciding on covers is such a hard thing!!

message 14: by Jason (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
No worries the blub is a major part of the cover!

The only thing with removing "Who" is that you would then have to tie in the last part of the sentence with something else.

"Eighteen year old Leila (who) lives as a serf on
King Goldwin's manor, (and soon) finds her world turned upside down when she begins having visions of angels."

This is just one example but none of them really seem to fit just right when I read them...

lol No worries. I have had several other people mention they like the first cover better.

Because of this we have decided to just add different filters to the first covers art so we get away from the videogamish look towards a more painted or hand drawn look. Then alter the design a bit to miror the second design option a little more.

Hopefully in the end we can pull together the better options from the two versions.

message 15: by E. (new)

E. Writes (elizabethkaiser) | 32 comments Yes... covers can sometimes seem to be harder than writing the book! ;-)

(Not really, but sometimes it can start feeling like it!)

On the blurb... I think it'd fall under advertising, and advertising breaks grammar rules in favor of impact whenever it wants! ;-) So that may be something to keep in mind... it's an ad! :-)

message 16: by Brianna, So get up. Get up and FIGHT BACK. (new)

Brianna (briannagpeterson) | 109 comments Mod
Both of them are cool, but I think the second one is the best!

message 17: by Jason (new)

Jason Hein (jasonphein) | 216 comments Mod
This is true E. my brain just has a hard time letting me break those grammar rules. :P

Thansk Brianna and Astrid. Hopefully the second draft (once we get it finished) will have the mirror qualities of the secodn draft that you like and keep some of the brighter colors and a re-touched immage from the first.

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