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MAY- JEFF O'BRIEN > AMA- Jeff O'Brien

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message 1: by Teresa (last edited May 02, 2015 02:02AM) (new)

Teresa (teresatheterrible) | 299 comments Mod
Here's where you'll wanna ask your wacky and weird (AND serious) questions for our wonderful Jeff O'Brien. I haven't ran this by Jeff yet, but I think it'd be neat-O if he hopped on in the next day or two and told us a bit about himself so you can ask better questions. Like why he named his dogs Chewie and Scully (and there's another dog, too, but I can't remember if her name it Thelma or Velma...either way, you see that he picks cool dog names). Stuff like that. Anyhow, ask away, my dearest loves! Ask, ask, and ask some more! <3


message 2: by Matt (new)

Matt Williams (sketcity) | 19 comments What's the meaning of life?


message 3: by Jeff (last edited May 02, 2015 04:46AM) (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Matt wrote: "What's the meaning of life?"

Do I answer these as I get them? Okay, I'll do so with this one at least. Matt, the meaning of life is to overthrow the meaninglessness of it and make it mean something. Don't get bogged down in the fear of death. Eat Twinkies. You could get hit by a truck tomorrow and it could all be over. You really wanna live to 100 and not eat any Twinkies? That sounds terribly meaningless. I'd rather live to like 80 or something and eat some Twinkies. Or Chocodiles. And fucking Funny Bones. Those things are delicious. But hear me out! The Twinkies are figurative. Could be burgers. Or pizza. Could be nachos. Could be ice cream or pork buns.

If I haven't made you understand the meaning of life by now, I apoligize and will mail you a box of Twinkies to make up for it. But this time I literally mean Twinkies. I ain't mailing you no ice cream or pizza.


message 4: by Matt (last edited May 02, 2015 05:07AM) (new)

Matt Williams (sketcity) | 19 comments Jeff wrote: "Matt wrote: "What's the meaning of life?"

Do I answer these as I get them? Okay, I'll do so with this one at least. Matt, the meaning of life is to overthrow the meaningless of it and make it mean..."


Haha, amazing! Hilarious . . . and although it comes off as being odd ramblings of a guy starving to death, it's actually incredibly insightful. After I read it, I actually sat there, staring blankly at the screen with a look of 'mind blown' sprawled across my face, sitting there wondering to myself: Have I really been eating as many Twinkies as I'd like too. My conclusion is this . . . No. But that is the point, right? If you ever had enough Twinkies there would be nothing else left to live for; nothing to strive and achieve for, eat and indulge in. The point is not to have all Twinkies, but to make the biggest meal out of the Twinkies you do have, sell that meal and buy more Twinkes (Repeat process). Good advice, Jeff! Thanks!


message 5: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Pleasure is all mine. And yes I am hungry.


message 6: by Matt (new)

Matt Williams (sketcity) | 19 comments Haha. So am I. I wasn't before. But then you came into my life ;) Have a great day! Keep up the good work and keep eating them Twinkies!


message 7: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Teresa said I should say some stuff about myself. Okay. I'll do it like a top ten list.
1. I grew up in Everett, MA, just three miles north of Boston's North End, where the Italians made some damn good canolis.

2. I've always been a big fan of punk and metal. My favorite bands of all time are The Misfits, Helloween and KISS.

3. I have three dogs and a wife. We live in New Hampshire. We named our dogs after characters we love. Chewie (Star Wars), Velma (Scooby-Doo) and Scully (X Files).

4. I was a drummer in a lot of punk/hardcore bands before I turned to writing.

5. My favorite writers are: Piers Anthony, Robert Jordan, Danger Slater, Dean Koontz, Robert E. Howard, Kevin L. Donihe, Douglas Adams, Douglas Clegg.

6. I'm not ashamed to admit that my inspiration comes more from 80's movies than it does from the books I read. I get a lot of my story ideas from the movies, which is the most important thing, I think. The folks mentioned above just teach me how to get my words and points across as eloquently as possible.

7.I have an obsession with green women.

8. I believe in aliens.

9. My first book, November Coming Fire, made me so depressed that I started writing comedy-horror. I've written two serious horror books since then (Cassie and Devil Rain) but never will again. I like to laugh and smile. Not be depressed.

10. I write campy Barbarian Fiction too.

11. I plan on.....ahh shit I limited myself to ten things.


message 8: by Matt (new)

Matt Williams (sketcity) | 19 comments Cool dog names! Breeds?


message 9: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Velma is a full Pekingese. Chewie is half peke/half tibetan spaniel. Scully is at least half peke, but the other other half we're not sure of. Possibly Japanese Chin.

Matt wrote: "Cool dog names! Breeds?"


message 10: by Matt (new)

Matt Williams (sketcity) | 19 comments Cool dogs. Pekingese always remind me of Cousin IT from the Adam's Family.


message 11: by Teresa (new)

Teresa (teresatheterrible) | 299 comments Mod
Thanks, Jeff! You didn't HAVE to write anything about yourself, but I think it makes an author people may not be familiar with a bit more approachable. So thank you!!! We will see if this boosts question asking! ;-)

And as for answering, well, that's TOTALLY up to you. Answer as they're asked, or wait til the end of the month. Ir a combo. Whatever you want! It IS your month!!! <3

~Teresa~


message 12: by Rick (new)

Rick (rwestbrock) | 143 comments When Rob gets stumped reading Koontz is that just about Rob or is it a dig at Koontz? I have only read one Koontz book so I don't have a good frame of reference.


message 13: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Not a dig at all. He was just distracted by the assholes on the beach next to him. Koontz is one of my heroes. What was the one book of his that you read?


message 14: by Rick (new)

Rick (rwestbrock) | 143 comments Lightning. Pretty good overall but a couple of weak spots. Wasn't impressed with the ending either.


message 15: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments I felt the same about Lightning. Phantoms and The Bad Place are two from that same era where he absolutely nailed it.


message 16: by Matthew (new)

Matthew Vaughn (mcvaughn138) | 41 comments Hey Jeff, I know you do a lot of self publishing. Did you start out subbing to traditional publishers or chose to do it yourself from the start?


message 17: by Jason (new)

Jason Allen (jasonwayneallen) | 5 comments What is your writing routine like? I've noticed you're quite prolific and work hard at what you do, but do you write daily? I'd like to know more about your writing process. For instance, do you outline or just get straight to it?


message 18: by Jason (new)

Jason Allen (jasonwayneallen) | 5 comments Also, you've mentioned before about kicking a major smoking habit and quitting alcohol. Do you have any tips and tricks for that? Also, do you drink coffee? If so how do you take it?


message 19: by Jeff (last edited May 13, 2015 08:11AM) (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Matthew wrote: "Hey Jeff, I know you do a lot of self publishing. Did you start out subbing to traditional publishers or chose to do it yourself from the start?"

My original intention was to self-publish from the get go as a means of getting myself out there to get noticed by publishers. I thought about subbing my first novel, but was like, shit this could take years. So I just went ahead DIY style. And thanks to the bizarro community, I succeeded beyond my own expectations of getting noticed. In that time I've realized that the people you want to impress are the readers, and a worthwhile reader doesn't care about how your book is published. So now I just do it all that way. If a publisher comes along and offers me a good deal, I'll most likely take it. But I like doing all the work and being my own boss and handling all the business. So as long as you don't mind being excluded from things like awards and associations and stuff like that, self publishing is a wonderful platform.


message 20: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Jason wrote: "What is your writing routine like? I've noticed you're quite prolific and work hard at what you do, but do you write daily? I'd like to know more about your writing process. For instance, do you ou..."

I put myself on a 1000 word a day regimen. I'd be lying if I said I stick to it every day. But most often I do. As far as my routine, I do my best work at night when I get home from work. Writing in the morning is tough for me, knowing that I have someone else's deadline where I have to stop. At night my only deadline is when I get too tired, and I work better with my own deadlines. I usually sit in my office with on my recliner with laptop on a pillow and just chill, letting the vulgarity flow, so long as the dogs don't get too distracting with their cuteness.

My outline is really my first draft. I will take a bunch of notes and put them in chronological order, but actually outlining something in true outline form has always bored the shit out of me. Better to just start typing and let the wind carry you.


message 21: by Jeff (last edited May 13, 2015 08:29AM) (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Jason wrote: "Also, you've mentioned before about kicking a major smoking habit and quitting alcohol. Do you have any tips and tricks for that? Also, do you drink coffee? If so how do you take it?"

I quit drinking first. I don't think it's even possible for a drinker to quit smoking. I also never got shit done writing-wise while I was drinking. I quit that shit and suddenly I had five books out in a year, and people seemed to like me more haha.

So a few months later I quit smoking. At one point I smoked three packs a day. Quitting booze was easy for me. The smoking however, was fucking torture. But here's how I did it. I accepted that I wanted to quit, and accepted the misery I had imposed upon myself. I imagined that I had just had a major operation, and over the next few months was going to be my recovery period. I accepted that it was going to suck, and stopped telling myself lies like that there would be any better time to quit than NOW. Every smoker tells themselves those lies. So I suffered. I relied on sheer will power, and thought only of that fact that each day the suffering would ease up, if only slightly. Two years later I still have not touched a cigarette since that day.

BUT...I do enjoy the occasional pipe/cigar. So some would argue that I didn't quit smoking at all. But they can blow me. I'm not smoking cigarettes every single day. I enjoying something else in heavy moderation. That, I think, is much different.

And yes, coffee is my best friend. I take it very bold, very strong, and with nothing more than a splash of cream.


message 22: by Matthew (new)

Matthew Vaughn (mcvaughn138) | 41 comments seeing as you're from up near Boston, is there really a big sandwich like they used to talk about on the old sitcom Wings? if so, does it come with specific ingredients or can you change it up like you're at Subway or something?


message 23: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments I never understood that reference. I lived in and around Boston for almost 30 years, before escaping to NH, and never was the area known for big sandwiches. And everyone thinks that area is all about chowder. No one there really cares much about it. Mostly we're just into sports.


message 24: by D.F. (new)

D.F. Noble (donnoble) | 1 comments Am I doing this right? I forgot how to use Goodreads because I got fat. Anyway, have you ever written anything serious and felt weird afterwards? Like...why am I being all serious with this book?


message 25: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments D.F. wrote: "Am I doing this right? I forgot how to use Goodreads because I got fat. Anyway, have you ever written anything serious and felt weird afterwards? Like...why am I being all serious with this book?"

I feel weird before, during and after everything I write. But yeah, the serious stuff in my early days made me feel a bad kind of weird. Like depressed weird. So I don't do it anymore. I used to be a depressed drunk, so my mind was full of all this serious stuff. But now I'm a fulltime goofball, so that's what my writing reflects. Fuck all that serious noise. Tits and dicks and farts, kid.


message 26: by Frank (new)

Frank (njmetal) | 25 comments Whats the Jeff O'Brien groupie scene look like?


message 27: by Frank (new)

Frank (njmetal) | 25 comments Would you rather had your spotlight month in a month that ends in 'ber' so you could have called it like Jefftober Fest?


message 28: by Frank (new)

Frank (njmetal) | 25 comments List 17 things you'd do to/with me if we were the sole passengers on a rocket ship to Uranus.


message 29: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Frank wrote: "Whats the Jeff O'Brien groupie scene look like?"

Three small dogs, and 40-something KISS fans from New Jersey.


message 30: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Frank wrote: "Would you rather had your spotlight month in a month that ends in 'ber' so you could have called it like Jefftober Fest?"

Yes! Jefftembertoberfest would be rad.


message 31: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Frank wrote: "List 17 things you'd do to/with me if we were the sole passengers on a rocket ship to Uranus."

1. Start a KISS cover band.
2. Start a podcast about our journey.
3. Co-author a book.
4. Meditate.
5. Practice the tantra.
6. Play hide-and-go-seek.
7. Tell spooky stories before bedtime.
8. Start a RATT cover band.
9. CO-author another book.
10. Go vegan.
11. Start eating meat again.
12. Play hopscotch.
13. Watch lots of porn (separately) to keep from falling in love with each other.
14. Watch scary movies.
15. Grill some burgers.
16. Fall in love.
17. Die from colliding with an asteroid.


message 32: by Rick (new)

Rick (rwestbrock) | 143 comments Did you ever get to see RATT live? Do you believe the myth of Uncle Miltie's giant wang?

What is your favorite bounty hunter from Empire Strikes Back?

Do you like the various Misfits covers that Metallica have done?


message 33: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Never had the pleasure of seeing Ratt live. I do hope to rectify that some day.

All sources seem to indicate that Milton was abundantly hung. My favorite story is the one about the guys in the locker room at the country club who were having a longest penis contest. And Milt says, "okay, I'll just take out enough to win."

Gotta just go with Boba. My fascination with him is mostly based on my conspiracy theory that he killed Luke's aunt and uncle. I hope that gets revealed in the new movies.

They're okay. They're actually a big part of what led me to discover my favorite band. I got their Garage Days EP when I was about 12, so then I hunted down all the Misfits tapes I could. 20+ years and two singers later, they're still my favorite band.


message 34: by Michael (new)

Michael (michaelnoe) | 31 comments Of all the stuff you've written which book is your favorite?


message 35: by Jeff (new)

Jeff O'Brien (jeffkissarmy) | 24 comments Michael wrote: "Of all the stuff you've written which book is your favorite?"

Definitely BigBoobenstein. It's only book I actually remember writing. And I remember I was having a blast the whole time. And the book keeps making me have more fun as time goes on. I write every book with the intention of writing a sequel, and so far it's the only one I've actually done that with, and I have ideas for many more sequels. So that means I have more fun to look forward to.


message 36: by Rick (new)

Rick (rwestbrock) | 143 comments I never heard the theory of Fett killing Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, thanks for mentioning it. I laughed my ass off when I saw this at Comic-Con a few years ago:




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