[No it wasn't crappy at all]Kathryn Spade was worried. Of course, that wasn't an entirely unusual feeling, especially since she had turned eighteen. Her parents, and grandparents, and even one of her great-grandparents had all been gifted with water magic. It had been an expectation from both her family and herself to be the same way. There was no reason she should have had an element other than water, but as it had turned out, she had been stuck with fire, instead. She had gotten a little bit anxious about their dinner and almost burned the house down. Now, she didn't know what to do. She felt like a failure over something she couldn't control, and she had to train with someone that she didn't even know. Jaxon Lincoln. She stood outside of his family's large home, nervous to knock on the door. Nervous to start training, thinking she'd probably screw it up. She would. There was no reason for her element to be fire, and there was no reason for her to be any good at it. Taking a deep breath and telling herself she'd deal with everything as it happened, Kathryn knocked on the door. She was a little late, both from the long walk and from standing outside for a good minute. She hoped he wouldn't mind. She'd apologize anyways, and hopefully things would be fine. She really wanted things to go well--maybe if she could actually control her powers then her family would be less weird about it--she had barely spoken to her parents since they found out, and they had barely spoken to her.
Kathryn stared at the person who had opened the door for longer than she would normally--apparently he didn't find it necessary to wear a shirt, and the fact that he would get the door and invite in a stranger like that was somewhat shocking to her. "I'm Kathryn Spade, but you can call me Kath." She said in response to his short introduction, but doubted he heard or cared--Jaxon was already turning away and walking down the hallway. A little bit uncertainly, she followed. She understood that families with opposing elements didn't tend to get along, but she'd expected that whomever she'd be meeting would be nice.Clearly she needed to lower her expectations. About everything. She needed to lower her expectations about how her family was going to deal with the fact that fire was her element. She was just disappointed and stressed about all of that, which was useless. Her parents could get over it, or she'd...move out. Or something. She needed to lower her expectations about people being nice to her, because that was something that had just served her badly her entire life, and she needed to lower her expectations of herself. She couldn't continue feeling like a failure for almost everything she did.As she followed her new teacher--that felt weird, since the guy couldn't be more than 5 years older than her, she looked around the house she was in. It was a nice place, somewhat similar to her own, weirdly enough. Turning out of the hallway, she was now in a sitting room, where Jaxon had already sat down in a comfortable-looking chair. She walked to the chair opposite and sat down, perching rather uncomfortably on the edge of the seat.
"I haven't really done anything, I mean, I don't know how this works at all. So, I can't really show you what I can do." Kathryn said nervously, clasping her hands together and looking down at them. Unless you counted the whole almost setting the house on fire thing, which had been terrifying. And shocking. But really, she didn't know how she had done it, only knew that she had been anxious and worried at the time. She certainly hadn't tried to recreate it, not with the way her family had looked at her, not with the shame she felt.No, the only reason she wanted to learn how to control it was so that she never had to use it again.Kath felt uncomfortable sitting down while Jaxon essentially towered over her--she had only sat down because he had, but to stand up now would only make things more awkward. Although more awkward seemed pretty impossible at the moment. She was supposed to just "show him what she could do", but that was impossible. She hadn't done anything, she didn't know how, and therefore she couldn't do anything. She didn't even really want to. She didn't want to use this gift, this curse, but she had to in order to control it, so that she wouldn't have to use it. The world was a messed up place, that was for sure.Although she was still nervous and uncomfortable, Kathryn looked up from her hands--the least she could do was attempt to not look so useless and pathetic. Even if it was a little bit late for that.
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