A time-wasting toy

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Check this out, kiddos. This little toy will analyze your writing and tell you what famous author you write like.

http://iwl.me/

I'm not sure how accurate I think it is. Here are some of my results:

"Suckers & Rogues" (rough draft, first chapter): James Joyce
"Ladybug Boy" (fourth draft): Stephen King
"Mr. Meeker" (final draft): Charles Dickens
"Pretty Eyes" (final draft): Mark Twain

The only one I can kind of see is "Ladybug Boy". It does have a splash of "The Body" here and there, I think.

[Christina]

I really love that a rough draft reads like Joyce. Off to play now...

[Charles]

Nascent Decay: Anne Rice
Blood in the Water: Arthur C. Clarke
Promises of Eden: P.G. Wodehouse
Transcendence: Dan Brown (lolololol)

Seems legit. :D

[Quoleena]

Depending on where in the book I sampled:
[overwhelmingly] Dan Brown
Arthur C. Clarke
Anne Rice
James Joyce
and... what the?! Shakespeare?!

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Charles wrote: "Nascent Decay: Anne Rice
Blood in the Water: Arthur C. Clarke
Promises of Eden: P.G. Wodehouse
Transcendence: Dan Brown (lolololol)

Seems legit. :D"

Dan Brown? *cough* Hey, any Dan Brown fans? Look that way! *points* (while they're looking away) Dan Brown sucks. You were insulted, my friend. Demand a do-over.

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Christina wrote: "I really love that a rough draft reads like Joyce. Off to play now..."

I know, right? I have never read James Joyce, but have heard he's brilliant. I would expect his writing to be better than rough draft quality, at least.

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Quoleena wrote: "Depending on where in the book I sampled:
[overwhelmingly] Dan Brown
Arthur C. Clarke
Anne Rice
James Joyce
and... what the?! Shakespeare?!"

Another Dan Brown / Clarke / Rice combo. Interesting.

[Christina]

Okay, all from the same book, which is a rough draft, but I have different narrators depending on the chapter, so I tried each "voice" and got:
William Gibson
Stephen King
Vladimir Nabokov

My mind boggles. I couldn't help but notice they are all men, so I tried my first book and picked a romantic scene. I got Stephen King. :/

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Christina wrote: "I got Stephen King. :/"

We all seem to write like Stephen King. Why aren't we all making bucket-loads of money?

[Charles]

Dwayne wrote: "Dan Brown? *cough* Hey, any Dan Brown fans? Look that way! *points* (while they're looking away) Dan Brown sucks. You were insulted, my friend. Demand a do-over.
"

I think it is hilarious that Transcendence was compared to Dan Brown. Every Dan Brown fan in the world should read Transcendence! :D

[Quoleena]

The Teamster is a completely different tone, so I wasn't surprised to get a completely different list this time:

mostly Stephen King
P.G. Wodehouse (haven't heard of him/her)
Bram Stoker

[Ken]

Hah! I posted the first scene from the 2nd edition of Ship of Storms. I write like Jonathan Swift!

(That can't be right)

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Quoleena wrote: "Bram Stoker"

Excellent!

[Ken]

I did it for my other book and got Douglas Adams. Apparently it sees my writing as satire.

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Just for kicks, I put my all-time favorite short story in the machine, just to see what would come up.

Apparently, James Thurber writes like Neil Gaiman.

[Dwayne, Head of Lettuce]

Ken wrote: "Apparently it sees my writing as satire."

I put one of my Happy Clown Burger stories in and...

My satire is like H.P. Lovecraft.

Interesting.

[Charles]

lol you guys broke it

[Quoleena]

That was my bad.

[G.G.]

Dwayne wrote: ""Suckers & Rogues" (rough draft, first chapter): James Joyce..."

I wonder which is which...is it a good sign for your writing that a rough draft sounds like a famous author or is it bad for the author. I think that's the on million dollar question. :p

[G.G.]

Anne Rice, Arthur C. Clarke, P.G. Wodehouse (I can't say I know that one), Dan Brown, Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, H.P. Lovecraft...

Wow, we got some serious talent here. :P

[G.G.]

Ok so I went to play too...and now I know I shouldn't have. :(

The Legacy: Fate: I chose the chapters randomly.
(Prologue, chapter 1 and 20) Douglas Adams. Chapter 28, Margaret Mitchell. Final chapter: Arthur C. Clarke.

No but seriously. I hate that program. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has to be the only book I couldn't stand. One of the rare ones I couldn't even finish. That's it. I'm done. I'm not writing anymore!

Can anyone tell me what Adams, Mitchell, and Clarke have in common? Geez.

The Legacy: Destiny: I did many chapters. I wanted to see if Adams would show up once again. He didn't! Yes!

Chapter 1, 21, 22, 23,29 (Anne Rice) Chapter 2, 25 (Arthur C. Clarke)

The Legacy: Dax: (I rejoiced too fast.) :(

(rough draft): Douglas Adams.

[G.G.]

Quoleena wrote: "Depending on where in the book I sampled:
[overwhelmingly] Dan Brown
Arthur C. Clarke
Anne Rice
James Joyce
and... what the?! Shakespeare?!"

Shakespeare? Art thou certain? :P

[Melissa]

Ursual K. LeGuinn, sweet! Beats the last time I did this when I got Flannery O'conner. Which was odd seeing as how I hadn't killed any of my characters in that sample ;P

[Christina]

Okay, so they do have female authors. I was going to cry foul.

[Riley, Viking Extraordinaire]

Breath of the Titans got J.R.R. Tolkien
Everyone Dies At The End was William Gibson
And my urban fantasy featuring a dildo wielding heroine is Chuck Palahniuk
The only one of them I've heard of is Tolkien...might just have to look these other two jokers up!

[Christina]

You've heard of Palahniuk even if you haven't. But the first rule forbids me from telling you why.

[Christina]

The first paragraph of Going Green, which I intentionally tried to make sound like Douglas Adams, got Arthur C Clark. I give up.

[Riley, Viking Extraordinaire]

Huh......You know, I love that movie, but I've never read the book. Might be a good time to start!

[G.G.]

Christina wrote: "My mind boggles. I couldn't help but notice they are all men, so I tried my first book and picked a romantic scene. I got Stephen King. :/ ..."


I didn't know Stephen King wrote romance. :P
Makes me doubt the validity of this program. Well... not that I didn't already have doubts. :P )

As for the two others mentioned on your post, I never heard of them. /blush

[G.G.]

Christina wrote: "The first paragraph of Going Green, which I intentionally tried to make sound like Douglas Adams, got Arthur C Clark. I give up."

Well, it's a good thing since I loved Going Green but hate Adams. I so much prefer Clark. :p

[Christina]

Nabokov's famous for Lolita, which I absolutely can't read because I have this thing about getting squeamish and embarrassed for the characters in books.

Gibson in my opinion is not a compliment. :/

[Quoleena]

G.G. wrote: "Quoleena wrote: "Depending on where in the book I sampled:
[overwhelmingly] Dan Brown
Arthur C. Clarke
Anne Rice
James Joyce
and... what the?! Shakespeare?!"

Shakespeare? Art thou certain? :P"

It must have been drunk when it decided that.

[G.G.]

Did a search on Gibson and didn't recognize any titles. The same for Nabokov.
I did found one I recognized for Palahniuk. Well not exactly. I've never read the book, only saw the movie. (Fight Club. That is if the movie was taken from the book of course.)

[G.G.]

Quoleena wrote: "It must have been drunk when it decided that..."

I (kind of) hope so. Not that it wouldn't be a nice compliment, on the contrary, but if it were me, I'd be worried and would start looking for typos. lol

[Riley, Viking Extraordinaire]

Ahh, Isaac Asimov, one of my favorite scifi writers. You better submit that story to the blog V.M.!

[Igzy]

http://iwl.me/s/696f37bd

The good Mr. Douglas Adams on a short story/chapter draft about rodeos, aliens, and crooked bookies. Awesome find, Dwayne.

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

Oh no no no no no no.

Two Lands: JK Rowling
Dakota: Chuck Palahniuk
New Project: Anne Rice
Hollow Towns: J.D. Salinger
New Project: Stephanie Meyer

:(

[G.G.]

Ann wrote: "Oh no no no no no no.

Two Lands: JK Rowling
Dakota: Chuck Palahniuk
New Project: Anne Rice
Hollow Towns: J.D. Salinger
New Project: Stephanie Meyer

:("

By the look of it, you sounds like two of the most popular YA authors. Nothing wrong with the list. If anything, you should become rich. ;)

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

But at the cost of my soul????

Just kidding. I have nothing against them except that I'm not particularly fond of their writing style.

[G.G.]

It seems the program is magical. It finds the author one hates the most and flings it in their face. :p

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

No. . .it didn't throw Faulkner at me. . so that's good at least ;)

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

And before I start getting messages of rage, I do not *hate* Faulkner. I just cannot stand "As I Lay Dying." Personal opinion.

[G.G.]

Lucky you. It threw the only one I can't stand at me: Adams. I'm going to have nightmares for a month at least.

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

Well, I didn't think Legacy read like Adams :) So no nightmares :)

[G.G.]

I could hug you right now! :)

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

I accept Tito's Vodka and cold cans of mountain dew. lol In all seriousness, don't fret. :) I never once made that connection. I thought your work was incredibly unique.

[Christina]

Well my romantic scenes are all either King or Bram Stoker, which tells me all I need to know. Romance, horror, eh, six of one, half dozen of the other.

[Ann, Supreme Overlord]

Well sure. No one likes sweet and innocent anymore.

[Igzy]

Nabokov is an interesting author in that he was a native Russian speaker, but became a technically masterful author and lecturer in the English language. His book "Pale Fire" is just lovely if you are squeamish about his more famous work. Much tamer subject material.

Also, Tito's, yum. Great choice, Ann. :)

[G.G.]

Ann wrote: "I accept Tito's Vodka and cold cans of mountain dew. lol In all seriousness, don't fret. :) I never once made that connection. I thought your work was incredibly unique."

You succeeded. I'm speechless. Thanks. /blush