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message 1: by S. (new)

S. Rivera (sjacksonrivera) | 23 comments As indie authors, we don't get the professional help with things like writing blurbs. I hate them and would rather write a 100,000 word novel than a 300 word blurb.

I'm working on the blurb for part 2 and I think I'm getting close but I'd appreciate opinions, advise, critic:

Part 1: (A done deal but I'm adding it as a reference point)

Sheltered and over-protected her whole life, Rhees has always been the type who can be in a crowded room and still feel lonely. After losing both parents within a short time, she really is all alone in the world—time to grow up! The fastest way to do that? Face her worst fears, the ocean topping the list.
Paul has traveled the world, running from his past, a past he’s not proud of and refuses to talk about. When he reaches the small, Caribbean island on the dive bum circuit, he’s found home. He buys one of the local dive shops and finds solace running a top-notch scuba operation, diving by day and by night, allowing the never-ending supply of hovering women to seduce him.
Rhees isn’t Paul’s type, so why does she drive him so crazy, pressing his already foul temper to its limits? She’s the biggest baby he’s ever known, scared of her own shadow, and no one can really be that good at heart. He has too much fun goading her to drop the act and stop trying to make everyone believe she’s a saint, but each time he breaks down a piece of that reserved facade of hers, he’s amazed at how tough she really is.
Paul never expected Rhees to break him down as well.

Part 2: Rough draft (a literal continuation of the story, not a stand-alone)

He doesn’t understand why, but Paul will do just about anything to keep Rhees on the island, including giving up his Coitus Club groupies in exchange for leading everyone to believe she’s the first girlfriend he’s ever had.
He’s in awe of the cute, naïve, and all-around good girl, and she inspires him to make some needed changes to his lifestyle, but he’s not sure he can really change a lifetime of habit, circumstance, and genetics. You are who you are, he’s sure of that.
Pretending to be together is a fine line when you’re going through all the motions, and the line only gets fuzzier as time goes by, but it is just pretend, isn’t it?


message 2: by Dianne (new)

Dianne Bunnell | 61 comments You've got some good stuff in your blurb. But you say you're looking for advice to polish it even more.

Here's my advice: : http://libbiehawker.com/blog/2014/7/1...

This is a link to an excellent tutorial video I used when re-writing my book's blurb to make it more compelling. It talks about hinting at what's at stake in your blurb - excellent advice.

I highly recommend it.


message 3: by S. (new)

S. Rivera (sjacksonrivera) | 23 comments Thank you. Your advise is great.


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