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Archived Author Help > Feedback on Illustrated Children's Chapter Book

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message 1: by Marti (new)

Marti Dumas (martidumas) | 28 comments Hi! I'm Marti. I'm re-posting this because someone very helpfully suggested that I upload a pdf to dropbox so that I could post a direct link here. Brilliant. I wish I had thought of it myself.

This is my second book, but the first one that I'm trying to do "right." The title is Jaden Toussaint, the Greatest Episode 1: The Quest for Screen Time and it is set to be published on June 26th, so I would appreciate it if I could get some professional opinions on whether or not it looks ready for prime time.

Here's the link:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/23d06bbbcxs...

Any feedback is appreciated. The target audience is boys who are just getting into reading chapter books on their own (ages 5-8, depending on reading interest and skill level) and the adults who love them.

Thanks!


message 2: by Kalynn (new)

Kalynn Campbell (lowbrowser) | 4 comments I can't add too much by way of criticism because I'm a first time author and new to the process as well, but I wanted to say as an illustrator myself, the book looks awesome. I really like the gray-scale throughout, it gives it a 'familiar yet new' feel. The font could be a bit more 'fun' maybe, but that's a nit-pick. Really great Marti!


message 3: by Darrick (new)

Darrick Williams | 11 comments Marti wrote: "Hi! I'm Marti. I'm re-posting this because someone very helpfully suggested that I upload a pdf to dropbox so that I could post a direct link here. Brilliant. I wish I had thought of it myself...."

Hello Marti, I have read and enjoyed your book. I would give it five stars. It teaches independence, creativity and hard work. However, two things I notice which is not a big deal, but it's just me: "The Repetition Test Day 2" instead of using bedroom and Kitchen again, maybe use from the list: "walking to school" and the "bathroom". Also, after a while in the story, is it not okay to just use Jaden Toussaint first name? I will be writing a children book and wonder about this. Anyways, you have a Great story with great Illustrations.


message 4: by Marti (new)

Marti Dumas (martidumas) | 28 comments What thoughtful feedback. Thank you both!

Darrick, the Jaden Toussaint thing is a character trait. Toussaint is actually his middle name, but for some reason his family calls him by both names. That would be a good thing to side mention in book 2! Thanks for the thought!


message 5: by Darrick (new)

Darrick Williams | 11 comments Marti wrote: "What thoughtful feedback. Thank you both!

Darrick, the Jaden Toussaint thing is a character trait. Toussaint is actually his middle name, but for some reason his family calls him by both names. ..."


Thanks! I'll keep that in mind.


message 6: by Marti (new)

Marti Dumas (martidumas) | 28 comments What, Darrick? The idea of using the first and middle name together? Or that you don't need to say the character's whole name?


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