Beta Reader Group discussion

21 views
Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Urban Fantasy Professional Wrestling Novel at 31K Words

Comments Showing 1-5 of 5 (5 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Garrison (new)

Garrison Kelly (cybador) TITLE: Occupy Wrestling

WORD COUNT: Approximately 31,000

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Professional Wrestling Urban Fantasy

RATING: R for violence, sexual content, language, and politics

SYNOPSIS: Over a decade of hard work, sacrifices, and injuries have earned professional wrestler Mitch McLeod a chance at the KDW World Heavyweight Championship, at the time held by a 400 lb. monster named Jason Finnegan. Before their match begins, Jason assaults Mitch in the hallway, hoping for an easy victory later on in the ring. Despite the brutal beating, Mitch wins the match via pin fall after his finishing move, a variation of the superman punch, accidentally kills Jason. Legal issues aside, Mitch finds himself embroiled in a plot to have his newly won KDW World Title taken from him by science-fiction-like creatures hired by Keegan Day, the owner of KDW. A world title is a symbol of excellence for not only the wrestler holding it, but for the wrestling industry as a whole. Mitch will be damned if his oppressive corporate master is going to take it from him that easily.

DESIRED CRITIQUE: I’m looking for ways to flesh the story out so that it at least breaks the 50,000 word barrier. It would be even better if it was 60,000, but not required. This story has already been edited by one beta reader and when I asked her about fleshing it out, she gave me these suggestions:


1. Don't go into detail on action scenes. Keep the focus on the action, don't stray with setting details.

2. Don't overly describe a character when first introduced. Take your time and let us get to know them through their actions. We can learn a lot about someone just by watching them sit, drink some coffee, and reminisce about the good old days of wrestling.

3. Sensory details. You know what I like, yeah!

4. Setting details. Landscapes, furniture, little things. Put me there with them!

5. All that extra stuff. What are the characters thinking and feeling? How are they acting and reacting? Facial expressions, body language, make me feel what they feel!


Basically, what I want from my beta reader are opportunities within the text to apply these rules and hopefully get some meat on the bones. Any takers?


message 2: by Layla (new)

Layla Dorine | 29 comments I would be happy to beta this and help flesh it out, I'm a huge Pro wrestling fan, been watching for 30 years.

Desolationangel13@hotmail.com


message 3: by Garrison (new)

Garrison Kelly (cybador) I just sent you the file that goes with the novel. Thank you so much for your help. :)


message 4: by Layla (new)

Layla Dorine | 29 comments You're welcome. Fine has been received and I look forward to getting started on this tomorrow :)


message 5: by Garrison (new)

Garrison Kelly (cybador) Anybody else want to take a crack at this?


back to top