Group Reads Discussion Post: Sociopath

[SRC Moderator, Moderator]

This is the discussion thread for the Fall 2025 Group Read, Non-Fiction- Psychology - Sociopath. Please post your comments here. This thread is not restricted to those choosing this book for task 20.10, feel free to join in the discussion. Warning- spoilers ahead!

The requirement for task 20.10: You must participate in the book's discussion thread below with at least one post about the contents of the book or your reaction to the book after you have read the book.

[Lisa]

I found this memoir to be readable but not believable. Gagne confesses that as a child she didn't feel emotion, she didn't like to be touched, she lied, stole, broke into homes, preferred being alone, and was constantly in trouble at school. These behaviors can be attributed to a number of neurodivergent diagnoses, but Gagne seemed to latch on to sociopath after first hearing it mentioned by a relative on a prison tour.

Gagne was never officially diagnosed as a sociopath, in fact, that condition was not even defined in the DSM. I got the sense she wore her self-proclaimed diagnosis as a badge of honor, like I've done all these bad things but look at me, I am a sociopath and could've done much worse but I'm working hard at controlling my impulses.

While I kept turning the pages after the author revealed one shocking thing after the next, I finished the book in agreement with the author, not that she was a sociopath, but a liar.

I rated the book 2.5 stars and rounded up to 3 because it was entertaining.

[Jen B]

Not sure what to think of this one. I listened to the audio, and while I appreciated hearing the author's voice telling her story, she annoyed me with her nonchalance and apathy. I also couldn't grasp her reasoning for doing the bad things that she did. Like, "Look at me, I stole a car! I could get in trouble, but whatever, I don't feel bad about it. I filled it up with gas and returned it. And it kept me from hurting someone."

I agree with Lisa's review above -- she wears the diagnosis Sociopath like a badge of honor. It's like she's proud of the fact that she has no emotions or any type of moral filter. She comes off as arrogant and condescending, and it feels like she's using the term Sociopath as a justification for doing all of the bad things that she does.

This was a 3-star read for me, because it was an interesting look into the mind of someone with a mental/emotional disorder, but I can't say I enjoyed it.

[Dee]

i'm about halfway through right now - both my undergrad and masters were in psychology so I maybe have a different perspective - but how she described a lot of things is very inline with what we discuss in abnormal psych - and how diagnoses come and go from the DSM

there is stuff in there that is really undiagnosable through formalized testing but rather just a cluster of behaviors (as she described psychopathy vs. sociopathy) - even now there is no test to actually assess for it - they still use the PCL-R (which she mentioned in the book)

I'm actually curious to read her dissertation since that's where she delves some more in the actual diagnostics - more to follow when I finish it up (I have about 4hrs left in the audio)

[Mary]

I am just about finished with this book and have found it very interesting.

I liked the way she described her actions as a child and how she didn't fully understand why she did these until she learned about sociopathy. I also like that she wanted to create something for other people with the condition to relate to.

In her adult life it felt like she enjoyed telling people she is a sociopath for the shock value. It also set people up to excuse any future bad behavior they may witness. While this disorder obviously influences her actions if felt like she has let her diagnosis (or lack there of) completely define who she is. She literally tells strangers about it almost as an icebreaker. This is not working to overcome an illness or condition, this is using it as a reason to keep behaving in ways you know are not right.

Either way it's holding my attention and I am enjoying reading it.

[Cat]

I found this an interesting, and challenging, read - an insight into a brain that works very differently to my own, and the difficulties of connecting with others - is it better to mask, which causes her more stress but reduces other peoples, or to be upfront and manage her own stress (which then reduces risk of her needing to carry out dangerous or illegal behaviour) even though it makes it awkward for others.

[JennRenee, Moderator]

This was a very interesting read for me. I love memoirs and listening to them on audio by the author makes them feel authentic. I found this one read more like a fiction and I really liked that.

I have always been a true crime fan and even though this is not true crime, it gave me the same enjoyment.

I can't comment on the "is she or isn't she a sociopath?" I don't know enough about it but I found her confessions and her lack of many emotions interesting and maybe some insight to certain behaviors I have wondered about.

[Rebekah]

Jen B wrote: "Not sure what to think of this one. I listened to the audio, and while I appreciated hearing the author's voice telling her story, she annoyed me with her nonchalance and apathy. I also couldn't gr..."

I found the parts you objected to as most engaging. Wearing the word “Sociopath like a badge of honor” seems very appropriate especially for this book. If she had left out all the “bad” things she had done, then what would we have learned about her? That she is no different than any of us therefore she is not a Sociopath or everyone is a Sociopath. These “bad behavior” instances gave me a better understanding. Why fid she do them? Simply because she wanted to. Have you never had an impulse to do something unacceptable? What kept you from doing them? You want to just like she did but for me, guardrails were set up for me in children, early on by punishment by my parents, later teachers, maybe some peers etc.. how did that work? It might be a fear of the punishment overwhelming the urge to do it, or wanting to have parental and teacher approval, not wanting to be shamed by my friends and ostracized, to have my conscience pricked and staying awake at night worried about damage I may have done, feelings I might have hurt. etc… its not my inherent goodness that kept me from doing things i knew were not acceptable as a child, it was the learning of consequences. At some point in our adult life we learn to integrate these concepts internally and thus create our own moral compass.
Yet it doesn’t work if you could care less about punishment, hurting someone, getting disapproval from parents, teachers, peers.
Its hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it, but to me, her actions and her comments on her actions showed me if you do not have those triggers that make us better people, what could happen?

I was actually amazed at how she kept a long-term loving relationship in her way, how she did self reflection and in having insight into knowing she was different and going to such lengths as trying to learn more about it and going to professionals to learn methods of overcoming it, which would not be easy.

[Rebekah]

I wanted to read this because my life imploded, turned inside out and upside down when my husband of 22 years wanted a divorce. I was gobsmacked.
I learned I had been married to a covert psychopath and its still having effects 5 years later.
When I was first told this, I believed Psychopaths and Sociopaths were all serial killers that might commit cannibalism or rape or dismemberment. I had no idea that not only are they amongst us every day but I had been married to one and never suspected.
I looked to her POV to give me more insight into how this happens and while at first I blamed myself for not being a good wife, had been coping with Crohn’s and feeling lie a burden, I learned it wasn’t because i had done something to make him hate me and destroy me. It would happen no matter who he was married to. Why did he stay with me so long? I probably am the posterchild for how gas lighting works so he kept me around util children were adults so he wouldn’t have to pay child support.

It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t me. That I was a failure and that the man I loved was fictional. I have a lot of empathy and was a nurse before marriage who cried for my patients’ pain. I just could not understand how anyone could do that to somebody without actually hating that somebody.
I think her POV gave me a litte more clarity.

I didn’t expect her to be humble or go on as a therapist to help others suffering. In fact, it probably would be dangerous if she did.
But its helping me understand that it is what it is and it’s difficult for both the diagnosed and the ones who love them. It also is helping me to accept the why?

[Rebekah]

Also like there is a whole spectrum for autism, would there also be in Sociopaths as well? We know many disorders come in all flavors and rarely does anyone ever tick every single box on the screening test. Most of us might hit 2 or 5 or 8. So declaring her an imposter or not seems kind of out of our league. I still haven’t really learned difference between sociopath and psychopath or if sociopathic is just a type of psychopath. But I know in almost every diagnosis of anything, there are sub- categories. ie someone says they have cancer but it could be leukemia, a, a renal tumor or Hodgkins lymphoma. They are all sick, they all have a problem with malignant cells over-producing but they will present in very different ways and the treatments would be very different. We wouldn’t tell someone they didn’t have cancer because they don’t have a tumor (leukemia) or it doesn’t run in their family. I know that’s an overly simplified attempt at illustrating my point. I’m just saying there is so much more that we don’t know than we do know.

[Rebekah]

Oh, the DSM! The infallible Bible of Psychiatry! If you can’t find it there, it does not exist, right?

[Dee]

as an aside - I went to see nuremburg over the weekend - which was based on the book - The Nazi and the Psychiatrist: Hermann Göring, Dr. Douglas M. Kelley, and a Fatal Meeting of Minds at the End of WWII - and I can't help but think Kelley's book (22 CELLS IN NUREMBURG : A PSYCHIATRIST EXAMINES THE NAZI CRIMINALS) would have probably correlated a lot with what she talked about - Kelley's theory was that there was nothing psychologically different about many of the Nazi's he interviewed during his time in the lead-up to nuremburg - but the general population (both professional and sociatal) didn't accept it - listening to sociopath made me understand so much more his perspective

[Rebekah]

Dee wrote: "as an aside - I went to see nuremburg over the weekend - which was based on the book - The Nazi and the Psychiatrist: Hermann Göring, Dr. Douglas M. Kelley, and a Fatal Meeting of Minds at th..."</i>


I have abook that I want to read called [book:The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evilhow psychologically healthy people can end up doing horrific things to others without too much by Philip G. Zimbardo

I’m thinking of the experiments with the students who were told to give their colleagues a shock every time they made a mistake i some task. That after each session, they would tell those people to turn up the voltage and proceed and they would do it and continue to even when the voltage was labeled dangerous. I can’t remember if they could see the victims or not but they did hear them crying out in pain, yet they continued to raise the voltage and followed instructions.
This showed that people who would never think to do such things on their own and would declare they never would get into this mindset of following orders. They follow the person in charge and their conscience is assuaged because they think the leader knows what is needed and what must be done more than the they, That’s how they got to be leaders, instructors, doctors etc and that that leader shields them.

[Dee]

thankfully the psychological community in general now condemes what Zimbardo did - we teach if often in ethics classes - along wiht many other cases.

another book i'm reading for SRC right now called Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism ties in a lot of that - the use of language to get followers - she looked at it more from every day scenarios (MLM's etc) - but you can see the language echoed throughout