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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
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First lines: Verge of History - Rebirth
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I like the 'reminiscence' part, it was the only section that made me want to find out about the story. It gives an insight into the character in a few sentences.The suicide of a AI? not interesting because its dead.If the story involves it,finding out its dead before you find out anything else?
The 'obelisk' section is a dry history lecture with the word 'later' repeated several times, not inspiring.
I'd lead with your last section.
Hope that helps.
http://vergeofhistory.com/drafts/
__________
** Prologue **
Adieu
“It’s time,” Sigma said. “I’ve had enough. I’m done. Farewell, my friend.”
“You still haven’t told us what this is about. Are you going somewhere? Are you killing yourself? Can we expect to hear from you again?”
“I’m very sorry, but it has to be this way. I regret many of my past choices, but not this one. Don’t expect to hear from me again. I wish the best of luck to you, Tiburon, and to all people. Goodbye.”
“Please don’t, Sigma. Sigma?”
Moments later, a scan of Sigma’s primary data center showed all of his countless zettabytes of storage were being erased at once. In 6 seconds, Sigma was gone.
Obelisk
Renee sipped her coffee and idly studied the obelisk as she sat on a bench nearby. Some 3,500 years ago, stonecutters had carved it in Heliopolis to praise Pharaoh Thutmose III. 200 years later, Pharaoh Rameses II had inscriptions carved into it to commemorate his military victories. Centuries later, the obelisk was toppled and buried by Persians. More centuries later, Cleopatra had it moved to Alexandria to erect in honor of Julius Caesar. Sometime later, it was again toppled. Nearly 2,000 years later, it was brought to America to be erected on this very spot in Central Park in New York City. Where might it be in another thousand years?
At this moment, Renee was the sole human giving witness to this ambassador from so many bygone ages. Renee gulped the last of her lukewarm coffee and then tightened her shoelaces. She set off jogging the path again, leaving the obelisk to its solitude.
Reminiscence
I look back over the centuries I’ve lived and see now what I simply could not then. My name is Renee. Though none are alive today, I was born in the time of the originals. I suppose this makes me a savage, but a life is rarely so simple as to confine to a small box. Curiously, my real story begins with my death.
** Chapter 1 - New life **
Wake up call
“Welcome back from the void, Renee. You’ve been away a long time.” Sigma paused to let her respond.
Renee’s voice broke. “What? I don’t … Wait. What?”
Renee opened her eyes. She bent her neck to look around at the hospital room. She was wearing a hospital gown. An old man was standing near the foot of the bed and smiling at her.
“Welcome back, Renee. My name is Sigma.”
Renee studied Sigma. He looked to be in his 70s. He was tall and gaunt. A halo of white hair around his ears framed his bald scalp. A bushy white mustache covered his mouth and a pointy white goatee completed the image. He beamed with a Buddha smile that hid his eyes behind squinting lids under his gold-rimmed glasses. His blue shirt and tie peeking through a white coat and the stethoscope around his neck said “doctor”.
Renee sat up in bed. “Where am I? What happened? I don’t recall being hurt.” She tossed aside the sheets and looked for signs of injury.
“Please don’t worry. I’ve been taking care of you for some time. You’re safe now.”
Renee looked back at Sigma. She took the pulse oximeter clip off her finger, untaped the EKG electrodes from her chest, and stood up.“What happened to me? I’m confused.”
Sigma sighed. “This is going to take some time to explain, so I hope you’ll be patient.” He paused. “This place is an illusion. I am an illusion. You are an illusion as well.”
Renee sneered and shook her head. “What?”
“You and I are standing in a virtual reality simulation — what we today call a ‘synthetic world’. I’ve crafted this one to help orient you to your new life. In a few minutes I will show you the real world.”