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Debate Club > Which is Easier to Raise - Boys or Girls?

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message 1: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3515 comments Mod
My mother-in-law had ten siblings and her mother always told her she'd have eleven more kids...as long as they were ALL BOYS.

I really have no complaints about my two boys. They are fun to be around and basically polite. (This is not just my opinion - I've actually had other people tell me this.)

My neighbor, who's raising three daughters, complains about the sarcastic remarks and constant eye-rolling she is receives from her girls.

So, for the sake of argument, I'll agree with my MiL's mother, a dead lady who, family legend has it, narrowly missed being a passenger on the Titanic, and say, yup - boys are easier.


message 2: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shiroff | 840 comments Oh. God. Yes! Yes! Yes! Boys are easier. I almost want to ask what your mother's-in-law surname is. My mother likewise had 10 siblings.

I was the one of 5 kids, the last and only girl. They did that thing with "keep trying" until they were rewarded with a female and I think my mother still regrets it.

I am getting the proverbial payback with my daughter. I swear sometimes she suffers from a split-personality disorder. To that end, we sometimes call her "Heather" (her real name is Hayley, but she doesn't always act like the person we hope is really her). My daughter has it all: sarcasm, eye rolling, bitingly painful observations (albeit true ones), and an uncannily sophisticated ability to read people that, when combined with a gifted level of passive aggression, is almost lethal.

My son, on the other hand, has that same ability to observe things that are below the surface, but he's never tempted to use that knowledge to serve himself.


message 3: by Melki (new)

Melki | 3515 comments Mod
Oh, good - I was hoping to hear from someone who has one of each.

The one thing I've noticed is that girls seem more independent. I'm convinced my boys will live at home forever, whereas the neighbor girl's only stipulation for her college choice was that it be at least 200 miles away from home.


message 4: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2420 comments Mod
Have to agree with all of the above, though I have only boys. Looking around, I think girls are easier through about age 8 or 10. By the teen years, give me boys, for sure. And by the "teen years" I mean from 5th grade up, when the girls seem mostly to become obsessed with the most ridiculous things.

Though I couldn't have stood even one trip down the "pink aisle" at Target. No. Freaking. Way.

As for leaving home--I think Eldest Son is so far from ready to leave it's terrifying, but he, like you neighbor, wants to go far from home. I think he knows it's the only way he'll force himself to grow up, because as long as there is an alternative, he'll take it.


message 5: by Will (new)

Will Once (willonce) | 445 comments Yup, have to agree with this one.

I am sooo grateful that our one and only is a boy. That means that we have shared lego, Thunderbirds, James Bond, Transformers, Godzilla, Star Wars, Star Trek, minecraft, Elite Dangerous and ... cough, cough ... fart jokes.

Could I have coped with princesses, Barbie, ponies, pinkness, Justin Bieber ... ? Of course as a doting Dad you'd try. But let's be honest that wouldn't be appealing to my skillset. I may have a unusual set of skills, skills I have acquired over a long career, but that would not equip me to get down on my hands and knees and participate in a teddy bear's picnic.

Don't get me wrong. I am very glad that the female of the species exists. My wife is also my best friend. Many of my friends are women. I'd just like someone else better qualified than me to bring them up until they are, say, over 18.

And then there would be the worry. Okay, so you still worry about your son being let loose in the wide world. But I can imagine that would be multiplied 100 fold if it was a daughter.

Don't they say that when you have a son you have to worry about one penis. When you have a daughter you have to worry about all of them?


message 6: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shiroff | 840 comments Will wrote: Don't they say that when you have a son you have to worry about one penis. When you have a daughter you have to worry about all of them?

I didn't know they said that, but that's the funniest thing I've heard all day!


message 7: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shiroff | 840 comments No one has even mentioned the drama factor here.

I say: "Aw, too bad. You missed an A on this test by one point. But good job."
The son: "Yeah, whatever."
The daughter: "I know, right? I can't believe it! I mean, like I studied for that stupid test and that's what I got! How unfair is that? It's not right! It's just one point. My teacher is a freaking Nazi!"

I say: "My meeting was switched, I'll have to trade carpool nights with some other parent to pick you up after _________."
The son: "Cool, whatever."
The daughter: "Ugh, God! Really? That's such a pan! Well, just don't get Cami's mom; her car always stinks like babies. And don't ask Emma's mom. I'm not speaking to Emma this week. And you can't have Jenna's mom do it because Emma rides with her a lot. Oh, and Kaitlyn's mom is out of the question, too. Have you seen their car? Kaitlyn is sooooo embarrassed by it. Why can't you sell enough books to get me a driver?"

I say: "Shut the door! You're letting bugs in the house."
My son: "Huh? Oh, sure, whatever." Then he shuts the door.
The daughter: "AAAAACK!!! Oh My GOD! There's a spider!! Someone kill it! Kill IT! Jesus it's MOVING!!!"
Me: "No, uh, that's just lint. Now will you shut the freaking door?"

I could go on but suddenly I feel the need to open a bottle of wine.


message 8: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2420 comments Mod
Okay, Lisa--you win! Though my youngest son is capable of girl-level drama.
Me: "I think you put too much flour in the batter. We can--"
Him: "I ruined it! I am a complete and total failure!" Flings himself on the floor and bangs his head a few times.
Me: "Stop acting like a 2-year-old and get up and add another half cup of water. It's not ruined!"
Him: "Yes it is! I totally ruined it all!"
Me: "!!"

This would be less painful if I didn't recognize my own tendency to way over-react when I do stupid things. I mean, gee, where, oh WHERE could he have learned this??!


message 9: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
When they're two, you spend hours and hours teaching them to talk.

When their fourteen, you'd spend a weeks pay to get them to shut up.


message 10: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shiroff | 840 comments Yeah, kids talking is overrated (and I say that despite my son only saying "door" until he was 4.)


message 11: by Joel (new)

Joel Bresler | 1548 comments Mod
Lisa wrote: "Yeah, kids talking is overrated (and I say that despite my son only saying "door" until he was 4.)"

As long as he wasn't referring to you, and had a speech impediment.


message 12: by Will (new)

Will Once (willonce) | 445 comments Jay wrote: "When they're two, you spend hours and hours teaching them to talk.

When their fourteen, you'd spend a weeks pay to get them to shut up."


When they are eighteen, you'd spend a weeks pay hoping they would talk to you. Occasionally.


message 13: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2420 comments Mod
Will wrote: "Jay wrote: "When they're two, you spend hours and hours teaching them to talk.

When their fourteen, you'd spend a weeks pay to get them to shut up."

When they are eighteen, you'd spend a weeks pa..."


Ain't that the truth. I can get words out of the one at home, but hear essentially nothing (except "I need...") from the one now at college!


message 14: by Gary (new)

Gary Jones (gfjones_dvm) | 123 comments Our daughter listened to her three older brothers discuss girls. She's cynical about men (especially brothers)and was the easiest to raise. It may have been different were she the oldest.


message 15: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Kearns (brendakearns) | 719 comments Gary, I raised three girls and four boys. Had MUCH better luck with the girls - even the oldest one. I agree with you about girls - it's probably not because yours was younger - I think they're just a bit easier to raise :-)


message 16: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer Mervine | 21 comments Boys. Definitely boys. Girls make that NOISE... not that boys don't make other noises, but girls make this noise that makes the jelly in your eyeballs vibrate. The jelly is trying to escape the eyeball so it can flow into the ear canal and block that noise...


message 17: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Kearns (brendakearns) | 719 comments LOL! That's too funny! I start snarling when they do that - the noise quickly stops :-)


message 18: by Rodney (new)

Rodney Carlson (rodneycarlson) | 617 comments I think there is no definitive answer for this. There are a lot of variables to consider. The whole thing depends on:

The personality of the child which can vary wildly.
The personality of the parent which can vary wildly.
The personality of the people that have contact with the child.
The personality of the relatives that have influence on the child.
The timing of the various interactions. (something said or done at one age can have a different impact when done or said at another age.)
Physical differences in appearance or health can change things.
Plenty of other vague things not listed here.

I had a boy and a girl and in that case, the girl was easier. After they left home, I married a woman with a girl and a boy and in that case the boy was easier. That would suggest the youngest was easier, but It’s all a role of many dice, some of which you have no control over.

Somebody explain "that NOISE" I don't recall it.


message 19: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Shiroff | 840 comments Rodney, I don't understand how you had girls in your house and don't know that NOISE. It's high-pitched, usually of vowels only but somehow is part of real words.


message 20: by Rodney (new)

Rodney Carlson (rodneycarlson) | 617 comments Nope still in the dark, Maybe because I grew up with three sisters and no brothers. I must have learned how to block the sound.


message 21: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer Mervine | 21 comments Or maybe it's some biologicallly hardwired aggression trigger that's dependent on gender? Because when I hear the NOISE I want to (violently) make the noise stop at all costs (and where it is coming from is irrelevant; don't care whose kid it is, it should not be making that noise). My husband and sons just cringe a little when they hear it.


message 22: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
After some thought, I've decided it's probably about even.

With girls, you worry they'll come home pregnant, and with boys, you get to meet all the local judges.

It's 50-50.


message 23: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Kearns (brendakearns) | 719 comments Rodney wrote: "I think there is no definitive answer for this. There are a lot of variables to consider. The whole thing depends on:

The personality of the child which can vary wildly.
The personality of the par..."


Hmmm...I'd like to toss one in, here, if that's okay. Four of my kids were adopted and came from high risk homes. There is the issue of how inherited traits and prenatal troubles (alcohol and drugs, for example) interact with the child's personality and also the new home and family. Truthfully, I was very successful with two of those kids, but had trouble helping two of them and feel very sad about that. So many issues swirl together to determine how a child will develop. I wish there was a blueprint/plan to follow, but of course there isn't.


message 24: by Angela (new)

Angela Carlson | 18 comments To my recollection I took part in a significant amount of time in the lives of Rodney's two children. He is correct that raising a girl was easier in that situation. With my two children the boy has been easier to raise. However, he hasn't at 21 actually moved out yet. I believe that raising your kids never ends. It only gets harder once they move out. That aided in the difficulty of raising my daughter. I have found girls to be more stubborn and hard-headed than most boys with very little sense of reason. Then, they grow up and boys never do. Lol


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