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Authors Seeking FREE Betas > Horror/Paranormal/Vampire

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message 1: by Maria (last edited Jan 23, 2015 11:50AM) (new)

Maria Rich | 3 comments Hi, my book is about 40,000 words and is the first in a planned trilogy. Genre is Horror/Paranormal/Vampire with graphic violence but no sex. There is an romantic subplot involved as well.

This will be my first published novel, but it has been through several edits and a few alpha readers. I could use any help you would be willing to give me.


The book is about 40,000 words and is the first in a planned trilogy. Genre is Horror/Paranormal/Vampire with graphic violence but no sex. This will be my first published novel, but it has been through several edits and a few alpha readers.

I haven’t really managed to write a synopsis yet… ah well… I’ll give it a shot.

Tabeth wakes up not remembering anything, in fact it takes her a bit to realize she’s dead. Her instincts are to kill and feed, but after the rush goes away she’s horrified by what she is. However she isn’t one to just lay down and die (again), so she tries to make do. Her attempts to control the hunger don’t always work out, and it’s all complicated by the fact that she likes to kill and that she likes this human man who happens to be a cop.

Kris sees Tabeth at her worse on the night she woke up, in fact she killed his partner and quite a few others from his squad, but he still can’t stop thinking about her. Who is she? What is she? Is she really dead? Haunted by her eyes he gives up everything to find her.
Will Tabeth be able to control the animal inside her? Will Kris find what he’s truly looking for?

(Does that sound as cheesy as it does to me? Sigh… I need to work on that.)

If you are interested in helping in any way (even if you only want the first 5 chapters or so) please email me at mymind@miarich.com or respond here.

Thanks again,
~Mia


message 2: by Debbie (last edited Jan 23, 2015 12:25PM) (new)

Debbie (debbieedits) | 38 comments Hi Mia! If you're in need of a proofreader when your manuscript is done, please feel free to contact me. I'd love to be a part of this project. You can find my fees at http://debbieedits.com/services-and-p...

~Debbie


message 3: by Maria (new)

Maria Rich | 3 comments Be honest with me... does it just sound dull, or are there no horror/paranormal/vampire fans here? I am having NO luck getting beta readers... sigh...

Working on a real synopsis, hope that's the problem...


message 4: by Tom (new)

Tom (tom_shutt) | 34 comments Hi Maria,

I'm a fan of paranormal stories, but your synopsis above is very vague, and it sort of glosses over the important bits. She kills several cops, but there isn't a lot of emotion there, not even from Kris (who should be pretty freaking upset and disturbed).

Will there be sex later in the trilogy, and it's only absent from this first installment? The synopsis puts an undue amount of emphasis on Kris, I think, for someone whose romantic potential is not going to be fully developed right away.

If I were going to take a stab at writing a synopsis using the information you've provided, it'd look something like this:

"Tabeth didn't remember dying, but the memory of her rebirth as a monster was something that would be forever etched in her brain.

Brought back to life as a creature of the night, Tabeth fights against this newfound lust for blood as she scrapes together the hollow shell of a "normal" life. The harder she holds on to the part of her that is human, however, the stronger the call to feed becomes.

When Tabeth's primal urges can be denied no longer, her violent rampage brings the full investigative might of the city police down on her head. In charge of the investigation is a man whose presence inspires a whole different breed of primal urges inside her, a man who can make her feel human again...if she doesn't kill him first."


Less emphasis on sex, more emphasis on violence, with just enough intrigue to satisfy both romance and paranormal fans.


message 5: by Maria (new)

Maria Rich | 3 comments Thomas wrote: "Hi Maria,

I'm a fan of paranormal stories, but your synopsis above is very vague, and it sort of glosses over the important bits. She kills several cops, but there isn't a lot of emotion there, no..."


Thank you Thomas! Thank you very much! I know I need to work on it, and I'm working through a 'how to' paper, but this example is exactly what I needed. And thank you very much for taking the time to give me your honest feedback.


message 6: by Tom (new)

Tom (tom_shutt) | 34 comments Maria wrote: "Thank you Thomas! Thank you very much!"

I'm glad I could help! Paranormal stories are a favored genre of mine, so I look forward to seeing what you end up putting together. =)


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