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message 1: by King (last edited Oct 07, 2020 04:17PM) (new)

King Reader | 43 comments Has anyone ever found something humorous in one of his works?
I found a few for myself, but there are many more.


FIRESTARTER

Al Steinowitz had said a strange thing about Rainbird once over glasses of port in Cap's living room: 'He's the one human being I ever met who doesn't push air in front of him when he walks.' And Cap was glad Rainbird was on their side, because he was the only human he had ever met who completely terrified him.



Now other orderlies began to drift in, joking, smacking each other on the fat part of the arm, talking about the strikes they made and the spares they converted the night before, talking about women, talking about cars, talking about getting shitfaced. The same old stuff that went on even unto the end of the world, hallelujah, amen. They steered clear of Rainbird. None of them liked Rainbird. He didn't bowl and he didn't want to talk about his car and he looked like a refugee from a Frankenstein movie. He made them nervous. If one of them had smacked him on the fat part of the arm, Rainbird would have put him in traction

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'Salem's Lot

"They say his ghost still haunts these woods," Danny said solemnly, neglecting to tell his little brother that the Marshes were three miles south.
"Don't, Danny," Ralphie said uneasily. "Not...not in the dark."
The woods creaked secretively around them. The whippoorwill had ceased his cry. A branch snapped somewhere behind them, almost stealthily.
"Every now and then," Danny went on eerily, "when some ringmeat little kid comes out after dark, it comes flapping out of the trees, the face all putrid and covered with quicksand..."
"Danny, come on."
His little brother's voice held real pleading, and Danny stopped. He had almost scared himself.



"Nolly didn't show up today,' Parkins said, still in that calm, conversational voice. "Somehow don't think he will. He called in late last night and said he'd seen Homer McCaslin's car out on the Deep Cut Road — I think it was the Deep Cut he said. He never called back in." Slowly, sadly, like a man under water, he dipped into his shirt pocket and reached another Pall Mall out of it. He rolled it reflectively between his thumb and finger. "These fucking things are going to be the death of me," he said. "I'm leavin' town,' Parkins said. "Got my stuff all packed up in the back of the car. I left my gun and the bubble and my badge in on the shelf. I'm done with lawin'. Goin' t'see my sister in Kittery, I am. Figure that's far enough to be safe. Nolly'd be in after me tonight. I'm goin'.'
Ben looked at him helplessly.
"You two fellas want to get in that car and hit it out of here," Parkins said.



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Pet Sematary

He looked at Alan for a long time, kind of grinning— you could see his teeth, anyway—and then he spoke in this low voice; you felt like you had to strain forward to hear it. It sounded like he had gravel down in his tubes. ‘Your wife is fucking that man she works with down at the drugstore, Purinton. What do you think of that? She screams when she comes. What do you think of that?’


message 2: by Wyatt (new)

Wyatt | 90 comments I don’t remember the exact quote but when Roland roasts Blaine at the end of Wastelands it cracked me up.


message 3: by King (new)

King Reader | 43 comments Wyatt wrote: "I don’t remember the exact quote but when Roland roasts Blaine at the end of Wastelands it cracked me up."

You may be thinking of this scene in Wizard and Glass:

"I could call you a sucker of cocks, for instance, but you have no mouth. I could say you're viler than the vilest beggar who ever crawled the lowest street in creation, but even such a creature is better than you; you have no knees on which to crawl, and would not fall upon them even if you did, for you have no conception of such a human flaw as mercy. I could even say you fucked your mother, had you one. I can call you a faithless creature who let your only companion kill herself, a coward who has delighted in the torture of the foolish and the slaughter of the innocent, a lost and bleating mechanical goblin who—"

"I COMMAND YOU TO STOP IT OR I'LL KILL YOU ALL RIGHT HERE!"

Roland's eyes blazed with such wild blue fire that Eddie shrank away from him. Dimly, he heard Jake and Susannah gasp.

"Kill if you will, but command me nothing!" the gunslinger roared. "You have forgotten the faces of those who made you! Now either kill us or be silent and listen to me, Roland of Gilead, son of Steven, gunslinger, and lord of ancient lands! I have not come across all the miles and all the years to listen to your childish prating! Do you understand? Now you will listen to ME!"

There was another moment of shocked silence. No one breathed. Roland stared sternly forward, his head high, his hand on the butt of his gun.Susannah Dean raised her hand to her mouth and felt the small smile there as a woman might feel some strange new article of clothing—a hat, perhaps—to make sure it is still on straight. She was afraid this was the end of her life, but the feeling which dominated her heart at that moment was not fear but pride. She glanced to her left and saw Eddie regarding Roland with an amazed grin. Jake's expression was even simpler: pure adoration.

"Tell him!" Jake breathed. "Kick his ass! Right!"


message 4: by Wyatt (new)

Wyatt | 90 comments Haha. Yes.


message 5: by Kim (new)

Kim | 14 comments "The Cell" I can't remember the chapter but it's when these two zombies get into an "argument" over a truck. It cracked me up!


message 6: by King (new)

King Reader | 43 comments Kimberly wrote: ""The Cell" I can't remember the chapter but it's when these two zombies get into an "argument" over a truck. It cracked me up!"

Would this be the one?


On top of the volunteer fire station, which was nothing but a glorified garage, the siren went off with a brief WHOOP, as if a phantom burst of electricity had surged through it. And the lights of the ancient pumper– headlights and red flashers—flicked briefly on, illuminating the two men and briefly scaring up their shadows.

"Hell! You say!" the older man managed. He spit the words out like a piece of meat that had been choking him.

"Mynuck!" the younger man nearly screamed, and in Clay's mind that same voice whispered, My truck. It was simple, really. Instead of Twinkies, they were fighting over the old pumper. Only this was at night —the end of it, granted, but still full dark—and they were almost talking again. Hell, they were talking.

But the talking was done, it seemed. The young man lowered his head, ran at the older man, and butted him in the chest. The older man went sprawling. The younger man tripped over his legs and went to his knees. "Hell!" he cried.

"Fuck!" cried the other. No question about it. You couldn't mistake fuck.

They picked themselves up again and stood about fifteen feet apart. Clay could feel their hate. It was in his head; it was pushing at his eyeballs, trying to get out.

The young man said, "That'n . . . mynuck!" And in Clay's head the young man's distant voice whispered, That one is my truck.

The older man drew in breath. Jerkily raised one scabbed-over arm. And shot the young man the bird. "Sit. On this!" he said with perfect clarity.

The two of them lowered their heads and rushed at each other. Their heads met with a thudding crack that made Clay wince. This time all the windows in the garage blew out. The siren on the roof gave a long war-cry before winding down. The fluorescent lights in the station house flashed on, running for perhaps three seconds on pure crazypower. There was a brief burst of music: Britney Spears singing "Oops! . . . I Did It Again." Two power-lines snapped with liquid twanging sounds and fell almost in front of Clay, who stepped back from them in a hurry. Probably they were dead, they should be dead, but—

The older man dropped to his knees with blood pouring down both sides of his head. "My truck!" he said with perfect clarity, then fell on his face.

The younger one turned to Clay, as if to recruit him as witness to his victory. Blood was pouring out of his matted, filthy hair, between his eyes, in a double course around his nose, and over his mouth. His eyes, Clay saw, weren't blank at all. They were insane. Clay understood—all at once, completely and inarguably—that if this was where the cycle led, his son was beyond saving.

"Mynuck!" the young man shrieked. "Mynuck, mynuck!" The pumper's siren gave a brief, winding growl, as if in agreement. "MYNU —"

Clay shot him, then reholstered the .45. What the hell, he thought, they can only put me up on a pedestal once.


message 7: by Julian (new)

Julian | 14 comments I can't recall which book but "Go take a flying fuck at a rolling Doughnut" cracked me up 25 years ago when I first read it and still does.


message 8: by King (new)

King Reader | 43 comments Julian wrote: "I can't recall which book but "Go take a flying fuck at a rolling Doughnut" cracked me up 25 years ago when I first read it and still does."

This sounds like a quote I heard King say outside of his writing, I think.


message 9: by King (new)

King Reader | 43 comments Another one that gave me a chuckle comes from Cujo.


Gary was, on this swelteringly hot late-June day, as drunk as a coot. This was not an uncommon state of affairs with him. He did not know Roger Breakstone from shit. He did not know Vic Trenton from shit. He didn't know Donna Trenton from shit, and if he had known her, he wouldn't have given a shit if the visiting team was throwing line drives into her catcher's mitt.


message 10: by Scott (new)

Scott | 1 comments I can’t find the exact passage in my book but in Wizard and Glass, when Roland and his ka-tet find the note referencing Mother Abagail and Roland says “I think she’s part of another story” I got a laugh out loud “meta laugh” from that one. Not that it is a particularly humorous line, just thought it was so absurd, in a good way.


message 11: by Kandice (new)

Kandice | 4074 comments Scott wrote: "I can’t find the exact passage in my book but in Wizard and Glass, when Roland and his ka-tet find the note referencing Mother Abagail and Roland says “I think she’s part of another story” I got a ..."

I love when he does this.


message 12: by Michael (new)

Michael || TheNeverendingTBR (theneverendingtbrpile) | 0 comments On Writing was quite funny


message 13: by Peter (new)

Peter Topside In Salem's Lot, when Reggie catches Bonnie cheating with Corey, who then proceeds to soil himself. I laughed for a solid 20 minutes, lol.


message 14: by Jerry (new)

Jerry Balzano | 123 comments There's an early chapter in Tommyknockers called "Gardener Takes a Fall" that is just horrifyingly funny from start to finish. Drinking, the politics of nuclear power, academic parties, and the wonderful anti-authoritarian character of Jim Gardener all on display in a sublimely mixed cocktail of chaos.


message 15: by Daniele (new)

Daniele (danielezan) | 20 comments Scott wrote: "I can’t find the exact passage in my book but in Wizard and Glass, when Roland and his ka-tet find the note referencing Mother Abagail and Roland says “I think she’s part of another story” I got a ..."

Loved it as well :-)


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