September Non Romance Listening

[Samantha]

Have decided on something other than romance? Tell us what genre are you listening to? Share your thoughts with us once your done!

[Jonetta]

I’m still listening to The Silent Wife by Karin Slaughter, Will Trent #10.

[Samantha]

I'm listening to Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

[Jonetta]

I finished listening to The Silent Wife by Karin Slaughter, Will Trent #10, and it was exceptional! Here’s my review.

I finished listening to The Guest List by Lucy Foley and loved the journey of this mystery. Here’s my review.

I’m listening to The Switch by Beth O'Leary.

[Jonetta]

I’m listening to Searching for Sylvie Lee by Jean Kwok.

[Samantha]

You are on a non-romance roll, Jonetta 😊

[Samantha]

I'm listening to Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

[Jonetta]

Samantha wrote: "You are on a non-romance roll, Jonetta 😊"

I know! I had to get some of my ARCs done and get ready for my book club zoom meeting.

[Samantha]

Haha! Cool. I noticed that I have been listening to a bit more non romance myself lately.

I'm so jealous you got a live book club. Something about discussing a book live or in this climate virtual is fun.

[Jonetta]

I love my book club and hate we can’t meet in person anymore. But, Zoom works!

[Samantha]

Yeah. I'm just sick of zoom period. But it does works😊

[Jonetta]

I finished listening to Searching for Sylvie Lee by Jean Kwok, a story with much more complexity than I’d initially given. Here’s my review.

[Christina T]

I just finished listening to Once Upon a River by Diane Setterfield While I enjoyed it I sometimes felt a bit overwhelmed by the number of characters in the book. I'm not sure how I feel about the book overall just yet. Setterfield really has quite a storytelling ability from what I've gather from listening to this one. There were multiple storylines interwoven within the book and some I liked more than others but that doesn't negate the skill the author has over her craft. I think my problem with the book overall was the sheer length. It felt overly long with the audio being over 16 hours long. Still a good book.

[Jonetta]

Glad you finally got to finish it, Christina!

[D.G.]

The latest Robert Galbraith came out today and it's 31 hours!! And now I feel like I have to relisten the last book...it was so long ago that I don't even remember what was going on...

[Jonetta]

I haven’t read the last book so I guess I’ll need to listen to them back to back. I’ve recommended it for library purchase so I’ve got time.

[Jonetta]

Good news! My library bought it and I’m in a short queue. Gotta get cracking.

[Jonetta]

I’m listening to First Blood by Angela Marsons, D. I. Kim Stone #.5.

[KathyB]

I think Jonetta posted about Rachel Caine a few month ago, at the time she wasn't doing well with her cancer treatments. Sadly, she has moved to hospice care. She gave an update on Instagram yesterday, the doctors estimate she has 6 months. It's so heartbreaking, here's the link to her post -
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFLPFTzgY...

I haven't read many of her books, but I loved the Stillhouse series.

[L J]

Ilona Andrews blog today regarding Rachel Caine

"This post was made on her Fan Page on Facebook, and since not everyone has Facebook, I copied it to reproduce it in its entirety."

https://www.ilona-andrews.com/2020/ra...

[Jonetta]

Thank you, LJ. I knew about her new circumstances but hadn’t read this message. This is heartbreaking. I’ve loved her Stillhouse Lake series.

[Jonetta]

Sorry, Kathy! I read LJ’s post first. I appreciate you providing the update.

I’ve only read her Stillhouse Lake series but it was enough for me to become a rabid fan.

[D.G.]

Thank you for posting, LJ. I've read only one of her books and she's been one of those authors that I've meant to read. I'll check the Lakehouse series.

I'm glad she'll do hospice at home. I lived through hospice care last year (as the caregiver) and being home would allow her to find that peace she's looking for (hospitals are just too scary.)

[Gayle]

D.G. wrote: "Thank you for posting, LJ. I've read only one of her books and she's been one of those authors that I've meant to read. I'll check the Lakehouse series.

I'm glad she'll do hospice at home. I lived..."

Hospice care centers and nursing homes that specialize in hospice can be very peaceful and nurturing places. I have had 2 primary family members go through hospice, and while it was very sad of course, it was also beautiful. Support for the family and friends is so vital and most laypersons have no idea what to do or say. These loving professionals listen, hug, offer sympathy and practical advice, and they take care of the details as much as you need them to so that you can be with your loved one. Overall, its a really positive experience, and doing it in a professional setting allows the family to go home and get away from the intense grief for a few hours, to recharge. Everyone needs to choose for themselves, there is no one solution. But doing it at home is not always the best choice, it wasn't for my family.

[Jonetta]

I was my mother’s caregiver, coming up on three years ago since she passed. I was so fortunate to be able to keep her at home with hospice care assistance. They were lovely but an even a bigger support for me and my sister. They held our hands throughout, knowing we wanted to give my Mom her care and stepping in when needed. I will always be grateful that we could let her end her life so peacefully at home, her only request when she got her cancer diagnosis. Doing it at home was the absolute best choice for us. No regrets.

Gayle, it’s not a criticism of your choice, just another perspective of the in-home option. It’s one of the things that gives me peace of mind today. My Mom didn’t even have a hospital bed!

[Gayle]

Jonetta wrote: "I was my mother’s caregiver, coming up on three years ago since she passed. I was so fortunate to be able to keep her at home with hospice care assistance. They were lovely but an even a bigger sup..."

Jonetta,

That's one of the lovliest things about hospice, you get to choose how it will work for you. I don't think most people realize how focused hospice teams are on family support, and that part is so helpful. Its really difficult to watch someone you love die, as you know. You unexpectedly get swamped with emotion, or have a day when you just can't cope.

It was especially difficult in my brother's case; he was only 52 and was in a coma from an accident. He and I were only 2 years apart, and even though he had a lovely family of his own there is nothing like that sibling relationship. Mom chose not to be there, it was in another state, and my sister had to work. So I was the family representative, and that was awful. His own family and friends were kind of their own tribe, although no one was unkind. But the hospice team noticed my emotional isolation and stepped in. They gave me an oasis of calm and caring, and helped me to support my sister in law and the others.

I was 2000 miles away from my own home, so I went back to my hotel room every night, wept on the phone to my mom and my husband, and passed out. I NEEDED that nightly escape from the intensity of it all; I needed all my energy to deal with my in laws, all of my brother's many friends, making arrangements, all of that.

I applaud you for making the choices you did and for having the strength to carry them out. I would not have been able to, it would have drained me dry. It would have done the same for his wife; losing him nearly killed her as it was. Being in a hospice center was the perfect solution for our family.

I'm just glad we have options and that death care is being recognized as a valid thing. Its an important life transition, especially for families, and hospice is a wonderful support during and after that process.

[D.G.]

Gayle wrote: "Everyone needs to choose for themselves, there is no one solution. But doing it at home is not always the best choice, it wasn't for my family. "

I'm sorry for the loss of your bother, Gayle.

I did not say being at home was the best option for everybody or meant to imply that people who chose something different did anything wrong. But in this particular case, Ms. Caine decided it was the best option for her and I understand why.

When you have a loved one in hospice, everybody's journey is different. When people learn about ours, they are half in awe, half horrified of how we approached it but it worked for us.

My husband never liked hospitals and we're both very private people so I promised I would do everything in my power to bring him home when he spent some at the hospital (which he hated.) And I did. I took care of him on my own for the last month of his life (that was our choice because he didn't want visitors or anybody else around.) I'm grateful that hospice allowed us that - we had weekly nurses visiting and would get all the necessary equipment/drugs and I could call when I needed something. I learned to do a lot of medical stuff so we could have the least amount of visits. Most of my family didn't even know he was sick until he died.

Would I recommend this approach to anybody? No way. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I was the best for him and I don't regret it.

[Gayle]

D.G. wrote: "Gayle wrote: "Everyone needs to choose for themselves, there is no one solution. But doing it at home is not always the best choice, it wasn't for my family. "

I'm sorry for the loss of your bothe..."

D.G.,

I'm so glad that you had the freedom to make the choices that you did, and I'm profoundly sorry for your loss. The death of a spouse is the hardest one of all the deaths we face in our lives, and I hope you are finding ways to cope and are finding bits of happiness here and there. You'll never get over it, but you will eventually get through it.

I could not have done what you did, my husband is 6'4" and built like a linebacker, I could not manage him physically on my own. Even at home, I'd need daily visits from support staff just to help bathe and change him. My hat is off to you that you were able to give him the death he wanted.

In the world I grew up in, death was medicalized, and then the body was taken away, pumped full of chemicals, made up, and buried in some lonely place. It was all very distant and removed from the living. That is slowly changing. People are understanding the importance of this transition, and how vital goodbyes are. Funeral rituals and burial laws are changing, too.

Hopefully no one reading these words will have to face such dreadful choices for years and years. But it is a comfort to me to know that there are indeed choices now.

[D.G.]

Sorry everyone if we're getting too morbid! But thank you Gayle and Jonetta to help me discuss this. Most people don't understand.

I'm sure if that if you had to, you could do it but hopefully, it isn't a choice you would ever have to make. In my case, my husband was ambulatory until the last week of his life (he decided to stop treatment while he was still in good shape) so that allowed me to be on my own - he was a strapping guy, over 6' feet so it wouldn't have worked out otherwise.

Grieving is hell but but I've been managing. We were very close.

[Jonetta]

D. G., I’m really sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing yourself. It matters.

My Mom fought until the end, too. It was only the last 10 days where she became completely bedridden. Plus, she was the ultimate mother and it was my turn to take care of her. Yes, it was hard (very) but I treasured every minute I had left.

[Gayle]

D.G. wrote: "Sorry everyone if we're getting too morbid! But thank you Gayle and Jonetta to help me discuss this. Most people don't understand.

I'm sure if that if you had to, you could do it but hopefully, it..."

D.G.,

Glad to be a shoulder. Talking about death and grief is hard for a lot of people. And right now people are anxious about many things, health especially, so I imagine it is hard to find folks to sit down with and share. I suggest you call your hospice provider; they normally offer after care for family members. And since you were basically alone with him, its especially important that you find an outlet for those feelings. And they will understand your issues like no one else.

If you'd like to PM me and talk please feel free. I don't know if I can help, but I can listen.

[Jonetta]

I finished listening to First Blood by Angela Marsons, the prequel to the DI Kim Stone series, and really enjoyed the intro story. Here’s my review.

I’m listening to Silenced by Allison Brennan, Lucy Kincaid #4.

[L J]

Tagged for Death by Sherry Harris
well narrated by Hillary Huber

The setting, characters, and woman starting over are fairly typical beginning for cozy mystery though some readers have shelved it as thriller mystery.

Sarah's ex-husband CJ is chief of police. She is being harassed and feels threatened by his officers even if the harassment is being done without CJ's knowledge. When Sarah is repeatedly ticketed for speeding she starts driving 1 mile per hour under the speed limit and is ticketed for that. (view spoiler)[It turns out the officer who scared her the most was trying to protect her one night when he scared her even more than usual. (hide spoiler)]

It's been decades ago but I still remember women I knew who were harassed by their ex-husbands' fellow police officers. Some of the things that happen in the book were too similar to what happened to them for me to relax while listening to the book.

[Jonetta]

I finished listening to Silenced by Allison Brennan, Lucy Kincaid #4, and enjoyed it despite being confused most of the way. Here’s my review.

I finished listening to Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, chosen as a buddy read for Banned Book Week, and it’s a tough but excellent story. Here’s my review.

[Samantha]

You are brave for listening to that one, Jonetta. I have been scared. Lol.

[Jonetta]

Samantha, I put it off for years! Glad it’s behind me.

[Samantha]

I bet!!!