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Reviews > New First Century faith-adventure for Preteen boys

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message 1: by Joshua (new)

Joshua Cartwright | 21 comments Hello brothers and sisters,

Last year I released Jesus and Me: One Child's Friendship with the Son of God which has been well received and reviewed as a book to help girls build their faith that they can have a relationship with Jesus as they become teenagers.

I have nearly finished a sequel about a stone mason's son working on the Temple of Herod who idolises Jesus. However, as the conflict between Jesus and the Pharisees increases he is forced to choose - tradition or new life? It's set in the first century and I would appreciate some early readers to comment on the ten chapters, and its suitability for preteen boys.

Here's an extract which takes place on what we now call Good Friday:

"We met up with Imma at a little before two o’clock in the afternoon. She scolded us when she saw we didn’t have the Olive Oil but we explained what had happened and she understood. I apologised too, but inside I was more worried for my friend, and offered my own prayer for Yeshua.

After an hour (that felt like a year) we had made our way along with hundreds of other pilgrims through the court of women, through the huge Nicanor gates that took 30 men to open, and into the men’s court where the sacrifical altar was.

Abba, Imma and I had brought a Beth-lehem lamb for sacrifice, and when it was our turn Abba gave it to the Priests.

They killed it, hung it on a hook and collected its blood in a large cup. The cup was passed along a line and the blood sprinkled on the altar. The blood ran down the altar and water from an underground spring washed it into holes in a gutter. That was what I had seen spraying from the Temple Wall.

But just as we were praying to G-d to forgive our sins, something incredible happened. We were on our knees with our eyes shut, so at first we didn’t notice the sky was darkening rapidly. Then someone blew a Shofar horn TA-RAAAAAA but in panic.

There was an ominous rumbling and the Temple began to shake. The water running across the marble floor began shifting left and right in crazy patterns, the lambs swung on their hooks. People started shrieking as the rumbling and shaking increased, the sky was going black and then…RIPPPPPPP - I heard a tearing sound inside the The Holy Place - the curtain covering the room where G-d’s presence dwelt was tearing by itself from top to bottom. I shrieked in fear, hid my eyes, and father grabbed me. People were pushing and running.

My father shouted, “Stay close to the wall,” and we made our way out and across the massive Gentiles Court. When we got to the Temple steps we could see fires burning, and buildings had come crashing down. What on earth was going on?

Suddenly, the shaking stopped but it was still very dark. People started lighting more oil lamps.

My father held onto me tightly because of the number of people milling around in panic. I looked at him and his face was stern. “Ben,” he shouted, “This can only be the work of G-d. The last time this happened to our people was when Adonai showed the Egyptians his power and darkened the sky for three days.”

“He was rescuing us from opression. Maybe this is the end of Roman rule and the Messiah is coming to do the same.”

Yeshua! In all the panic I had forgotten him. Was this His doing? Had he decided to show his power to the world? Was He going to reveal Himself as our deliverer?

I was about to find out the Truth was quite different from what we ALL expected.

Please send me a message and let me know!

God bless,

joshua


message 2: by Beth (new)

Beth | 1 comments I have a 9 year old son who I can test it on. But, tbh, I think he would find the language a bit challenging for reading himself. He’s with me on Friday again, though, so I’ll see if I can print it out somehow, and give it a go. He will find the way you write God strange, as that’s a Jewish tradition, not Christian. But, I think I actually mentioned to him quite recently that it was a Jewish tradition, so he may find it intriguing, more than anything. I do think that will narrow your audience substantially though, as it might put many Christians off.
Anyway, just my thoughts for now.


message 3: by Susan (last edited Aug 14, 2020 06:04AM) (new)

Susan Count | 2 comments Love the concept of telling the story from the perspective of a young Jewish boy witnessing the tearing of the veil. Intriguing from the start. This has the makings of a terrific story. Good luck.


message 4: by Joshua (new)

Joshua Cartwright | 21 comments Thank you both. I have started making it first person so great minds think alike. And yes, writing G-d is strange to us but I am going for a taste of authenticity without stepping into unrelatability. I've learned so much doing this - did you know that the trial of Jesus took place in The Hall of been Stone in the Temple complex?


message 5: by Joshua (new)

Joshua Cartwright | 21 comments hewn stone


message 6: by Joshua (new)

Joshua Cartwright | 21 comments Susan wrote: "Love the concept of telling the story from the perspective of a young Jewish boy witnessing the tearing of the veil. Intriguing from the start. This has the makings of a terrific story. Good luck."

Hi Susan, if you would care to take a read I can send you a copy. Let me know. God bless, Joshua


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