[Complete] Looking for readers for The Unworthy - 119K alternative fantasy

[J.R.]

Not my type of story, but you might want to take another look at your first sentence. Cajole means to coax someone, often through flattery. For example,

"John cajoled Sally into accepting his offer to buy the house."

A better verb for your context might be chastised or castigated (if you want a fancy verb starting with "C").

[JA]

J.R. wrote: "Not my type of story, but you might want to take another look at your first sentence. Cajole means to coax someone, often through flattery. For example,

"John cajoled Sally into accepting his offe..."

Thanks for the correction! I get into my head some weird definitions for words that I can't get unstuck. Like "droll" feels like it should be negative, but it's not. Edited the mistake out!

[J.R.]

You're welcome. It stuck out so much because it was an otherwise very well-written query/blurb. Good luck with your book!