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When I Grow Up...
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Melki
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Jan 07, 2015 11:59AM
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There was one brief instant once when my mother had gotten me a set of flatware and one of those velvet-lined "pleather" cases to keep it all in. I was putting the forks in the fork-shaped compartment, and, just for a second, I thought...yes, this is what a grown-up does. But, it passed.
The fact that I haven't used the flatware since I carefully compartmentalized it may have a little something to do with the feeling not returning.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's usually when I'm doing something no one ever really wants to do: cleaning up the dog droppings in the yard, laundry, and last night when I realized at 10:45 p.m. that I should probably shovel the snow off the front walk (father-in-law's plane had landed and his arrival was imminent). Otherwise, I do my best to act less mature then my kids, which they tend to resent for some reason.
Every time another bill arrives...The immediate family gives me the freedom to be a goofy kid despite my age, and probably loves me for it. Nothing wrong with responsible immaturity. The bills still get paid.
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The only time I ever feel proper grown-up is when I don't get id'ed buying alcohol (thankfully it doesn't happen too often...the id-ing not the purchasing).Although with all my friends starting to settle down, get married and having kids I am beginning to wonder whether I'm a grown-up yet...
I still get ID -d when buying alcohol... I'll feel grown up when that stops
Does that mean I should feel grownup because I pray to the gods of alcohol every time I make a liquor store purchase that I'll get ID'd?
My teenager has been known to order me about on the basis that she's the adult in the relationship.
Will wrote: "My teenager has been known to order me about on the basis that she's the adult in the relationship."It's not about who is the adult, it's about who is in charge!
I am a step-parent. As was expected, I was assalted with the "your not my dad". That didn't last long when they figured out that the statement didn't change the "I'm in charge" statement. "My" kids think I'm their dad for years now.
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Most of the time I just feel OLD.
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70’s huh, I had felt like you were just a kid. LOL
Ow. That hurts, Joel. You have my sympathies and admiration for not slapping her.
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It's been a long time since I was asked for ID when buying alcohol, but at least I'm not yet being asked if I want the Senior Discount. No doubt that will come soon, given how my hair is graying. Of course, the AARP has been after me for years, and due to that persistent and early suggestion that I grow old, I refuse to have anything to do with them. Take that, marketing idiots!
Yes, I have been asked more than once if I wanted the senior discount. Even though I don't qualify... yet!I said (f explitive) it, sure!
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Yeah, I'd take it too, if offered. Cheapskateness trumps vanity every time.
Rebecca wrote: "Cheapskateness trumps vanity every time."Oh yeah! And I'm the king of Cheapskate city.
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It's been a long time since I was asked for ID when buying alcohol, but at least I'm not yet being asked if I want the Senior Discou..."
What is it with the AARP and their apparently unlimited funds available for pestering people? They started mailing to me before I was old enough to join and basically every two weeks since then.
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I said (f explitive) it, sure!"
One of today's comics seemed appropriate...
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Rodney wrote: "Yes, I have been asked more than once if I wanted the senior discount. Even though I don't qualify... yet!My first time was so far beyond embarrassing it was humiliating. And it wasn't by some snot-nosed teenaged clerk who couldn't tell the difference between someone who was decrepit and someone who was in the prime of his life.
I was young--in my early 50s--when I got to the counter at Taco Bell and started ordering a burrito the size of your head, two double decker tacos, a side of nachos, and a diet Coke. And I felt young. Then I heard the voice of Doom. Turns out that in Taco Bell the voice of Doom sounds a lot like a little old lady. "Tell him you want the 'free senior drink,'" Doom said. "They'll give you a free senior drink when you're 65 or older." Doom was dressed in black and standing behind me in line. She was probably about 80 and extremely spunky. I tried to decline gracefully, but Doom would not be denied. "Give him the free senior drink," she snapped at the snot-nosed teenage clerk. Then to me, she said, very loudly, her ire obviously rising, "You have to TELL them you want the senior drink or else they won't give it to you, the bastards.You DESERVE the senior drink, and THEY need to give it to you." The snot-nosed teenaged clerk, obviously a little shaken by this time, apologetically pushed a free senior drink towards me; his eyes begging me just to take it, and so I did, and I've been decrepit ever since.
I love spunky older people! We had to take my husband's grandfather's car keys away from him when he was 90 (little dents and big scratches started showing up on his car and when asked bout them, he had no recollection and would tell us the parking lots must be dangerous). Afterward, we'd drive him wherever he needed to go--including to see his bookie and to a new year's eve party where all the men dressed in women's lingerie, but I digress.
Anyway, eventually, when he was around 95 we had to put him in a "home" because his physical health was failing. The nurses there either hated him or loved him, depending on how they felt about their bottoms being pinched by an old man in a speeding wheelchair.
My favorite line from him was when we were having lunch one day and he complained about his current girlfriend (she kept repeating her stories because she had no memory of ever telling them before and he was getting bored). Then he told me, "you know, the place wouldn't be so bad if it just wasn't full of old people." He was 96 when he said it.
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I started to wrote a post about growing older. And then it turned into a bloghttp://willonce.wordpress.com/2015/01...
Awesome Pseudo! Loved the story. I thought you had to look out for the men in black. Who knew?
Pseudo, I hope you're still taking advantage of the free cokes- might as well. I have yet to take advantage of the senior discounts myself but I've already been asked, and I wasn't too shaken up by it.Lisa-that was a cute story. We had a feisty 80 yr old neighbor, and often loved his spunkiness. We eventually wound up driving him around after he'd had some heart failure, even took him to see Niagara Falls. Booked him a room with a hot tub overlooking the falls, and shared many other trips with us. He passed on and we miss him.
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How does anyone watch that stuff while sober?
Melki wrote: "Since book club was at MY house last night, I was the one that got drunk (this time) and after the proper ladies had gone home, I watched half an hour of professional wrestling with my youngest son..."I can understand prepubescents watching their favorite live superheroes in an ongoing battle/storyline. It held my interest for about a year or two at age 8 or 9. But the older fans just are unable to take out their anger and frustration on someone in real life, without getting arrested or their ass handed to them. So they watch their hero's antagonists getting bounced around and bloodied. And they are sated, temporarily. The hootch merely intensifies the emotional peaks and valleys, as it would with any similar fantasy. But whadda I know, I'm not a shrink!
Sure wrestling is fake. But, to be fair, when was the last time that you saw a movie where the good guy didn't win?We like the experience and only pretend to be surprised by the outcome.
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Now that is an entertaining video! Enjoyed that very much (and not just because of the scantily clad ladies).
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Melki wrote: "And, interestingly enough, this book appeared on my radar just this morning - The Professor in the Cage: Why Men Fight and Why We Like to Watch."Sounds like a fascinating read. Well, maybe more so if it was a humorous novel as well as a psychological observation.
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It's now on my to-read list, so I may find out someday.
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I read that as Peter-panchetta and thought of peanut butter flavored bacon. Now I want lunch.
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Joel wrote: "Peanut butter-flavored bacon. Sounds slightly gastro-pubby."Even better when deep fried! Ask Paula!
I shall conduct a taste test. Results or heart attack to follow.
Maybe if it was entirely coated with chocolate, or wrapped with some leafy greens, it could, sort of, balance out the negative stuff.
But there is no negative stuff in peanut butter and bacon.
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Books mentioned in this topic
The Professor in the Cage: Why Men Fight and Why We Like to Watch (other topics)The Professor in the Cage: Why Men Fight and Why We Like to Watch (other topics)
