Black Coffee with White Friends: Cream & Sugar Book Club discussion

634 views
WELCOME > MAY 2020

Comments Showing 1-50 of 325 (325 new)    post a comment »
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7

Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Welcome Readers!

I’ve read your lovely messages and I’ve even seen some of the Instagram posts of you with the book Ghost Boys. I can’t tell you how happy it makes my heart to have us all here, eager readers, listeners and learners—a blossoming community of new friends and neighbors.

Some of you might still be waiting for your book to arrive and that’s just fine. Today is just a getting-to-know-you discussion that you can partake in whether or not you’ve started reading yet.

But a few notes before we begin: please remember, we’re reading and processing slowly. What that means is that there will be three major discussions of this book so that we thoroughly cover all that it has to offer. The first will be in June, followed by one in July and the last in August. I will be sure to make announcements as we move along. It would be best to have the book completed by June 18th for the first discussion, but take it in stride, y’all. We’re all adults and none of us need any more obligations in our lives. This is a book club. It should feel good to read and not like a punishment. So move at your own pace.

Also, every discussion will be heavily regulated: 1) If you haven’t read, hold your comments until you have; 2) Be extremely courteous and gracious; 3) Self-promotion of any kind will be removed; 4) State your opinions without dehumanizing any others—this includes celebrities and politicians; 5) BREATHE.

Now that all of that is out of the way, here are my first questions: 

Who are you? Where are you from? Where do you currently live? And what “ghosts” from your past still haunt you? Is it the death of your mother, or child, or sibling, or another loved one? Is it the one true love that got away? Is it a wrong that you committed that you wish you could make right, but it feels too late? We all have “ghosts”: what’s one of yours? 



message 2: by Emily (new)

Emily B | 1 comments Hello! I am Emily Campbell. I am a white privileged female from Austin Texas. I am wanting to break down my inner racism and learn from wisdom of others. I am looking forward to being part of this group if i can be allowed.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Emily wrote: "Hello! I am Emily Campbell. I am a white privileged female from Austin Texas. I am wanting to break down my inner racism and learn from wisdom of others. I am looking forward to being part of this ..."

Hello Emily-- Are you a born and raised Austinite? Or, did you grow up someplace else?

And what “ghosts” from your past still haunt you? Is it the death of your mother, or child, or sibling, or another loved one? Is it the one true love that got away? Is it a wrong that you committed that you wish you could make right, but it feels too late?


message 4: by Christi (new)

Christi | 1 comments Hi! My name is Christi. I don’t know Emily, but I am also born and raised in Austin, TX. I have lived in Houston, TX most of my adult life (17 years) with my husband and 10yo daughter. I do have regrets and “sins” of the past that I am trying to let go of and be more present in my life. I do this to be a good example to my daughter, to be a good wife/daughter/friend, to be a better citizen of this world, but mostly for my own peace of mind. It takes a lot of effort to always be looking back with regret and trying to control the forward and not just living my best life in the moment.


message 5: by Linda (new)

Linda  | 1 comments Hi, my name is Linda. I’m an educator who lives in California’s Central Valley. I love reading and am very much looking forward to reading books I might not normally choose, and having thoughtful discussions about important societal issues. A ghost I live with is the death of my mother. We had a relationship that could be turbulent. She was emotionally detached as a parent, and I live my life as a mother ensuring that I’m not repeating the same cycle.


message 6: by Shonte (new)

Shonte E (shontemarie) | 2 comments Hello! I’m Shonte 👋🏾
I currently live in Fort Worth, Texas but Northern California is and always will be home. I’m an avid reader, but lately I just read a book and then move on to the next. I’m excited to savor books a little longer, to dig in deep and have real discussion about the nuances and symbolism and word choice, etc., like I did when I was in school. Hoping to build community with other readers through the book club, and see a book through multiple people’s lenses.

As far as ghosts...I don’t know how relevant this is to the book (still waiting on my copy!) but I think the thing that has haunted me most lately is wondering what my life/experience/perspective would be like today if I’d been more intentional about my choices in my twenties, instead of just waiting for life to “happen” to or around me.


message 7: by Laurel (new)

Laurel | 2 comments Hi, I’m Laurel! I live in Arizona, born and raised. I love to read wide varieties of books. I have a lot of plants (?? not relevant but what else is there to say about me?).
I think ghosts from the past, past decisions, missed opportunities, unmet self expectations, those are what haunt me.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Christi wrote: "Hi! My name is Christi. I don’t know Emily, but I am also born and raised in Austin, TX. I have lived in Houston, TX most of my adult life (17 years) with my husband and 10yo daughter. I do have re..."

Christi wrote: "Hi! My name is Christi. I don’t know Emily, but I am also born and raised in Austin, TX. I have lived in Houston, TX most of my adult life (17 years) with my husband and 10yo daughter. I do have re..."

Ghosts do have a habit of looking back. You're right, it takes alto of effort to press forward while acknowledging our past.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Laurel wrote: "Hi, I’m Laurel! I live in Arizona, born and raised. I love to read wide varieties of books. I have a lot of plants (?? not relevant but what else is there to say about me?).
I think ghosts from the..."


Those dang unmet expectations!!! I have many so I feel you there.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Shonte wrote: "Hello! I’m Shonte 👋🏾
I currently live in Fort Worth, Texas but Northern California is and always will be home. I’m an avid reader, but lately I just read a book and then move on to the next. I’m e..."


Totally relevant to the book. Ghosts are usually the substance of regrets, what ifs, and if onlys. Thanks for sharing!


message 11: by Amanda (new)

Amanda Oakes  | 2 comments Hi! I’m Amanda, I was born in a small town in rural Tennessee and live in Nashville now. I’ve felt so convicted recently about bringing my own naïveté about racism and racial justice to light. I’m from very white town and dwell in a mostly white community and I’m looking for ways to be challenged, to listen, and to grow. A personal ghost that continues to haunt me is my struggle with multiple miscarriages. I’m looking forward to starting the book and learning from this community.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Linda Reis wrote: "Hi, my name is Linda. I’m an educator who lives in California’s Central Valley. I love reading and am very much looking forward to reading books I might not normally choose, and having thoughtful d..."

Goodness, Linda. Your story could be mine. I had a loving but distant mother. She was just kinda closed off. She passed in 2010 and I regret all the conversations I never had with her. I actually started the blog because I didn't want to repeat that mistake with my daughter.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Amanda wrote: "Hi! I’m Amanda, I was born in a small town in rural Tennessee and live in Nashville now. I’ve felt so convicted recently about bringing my own naïveté about racism and racial justice to light. I’m ..."

Oh Amanda, I mourn for your miscarriages and I am so sorry for your loss. It's so good to have you in this space. I look forward to sharing more with you. Peace.


message 14: by Jenifer (new)

Jenifer Lee | 3 comments Hi, everyone. I’m Jen. I’m from San Diego, CA and still living here. One of my ghosts is that I parented my kids to the age of 17 and four, before understanding that therapy could help me heal from heaps of childhood trauma. Eight years later; we have made food profess in healing, but I struggle with regret and it hurts to see so many patterns repeated in my eldest.


message 15: by Madi (new)

Madi | 1 comments Hi all! My name is Madi, I am a newly graduated nursing student living in a suburb of Denver, Colorado. I am so excited to learn with you all!

In terms of ghosts from my past - I struggle with my actions and behavior in response to the end of a close friendship that dissolved abruptly nearly a decade ago. I was young and acted with great cruelty...funny how difficult it is to forgive ourselves for past wrongs. I hope this novel can contribute to a better understanding of how to navigate regret and grow in interactions to come.


message 16: by Kendra (new)

Kendra | 1 comments Hello lovelies,
My name is Kendra Helfrich and I live in Yorkton, Saskatchewan (Canada). This is where I grew up (my parents live a block away in the house I grew up in) and after leaving for university and swearing I would never come back...here I am! I am a high school teacher, a mom to a 6 year old little human, and an avid reader. A ghost from my past is realizing how much I bought into the racism and stereotypes of this community when I was growing up. Our racism tends to be directed at our Indigneous people and I am working hard to forgive myself for the hurt I caused in my ignorance. To engage in the hard conversations with people to help them understand our priviledge and what that means.


message 17: by Ashley (new)

Ashley H. | 1 comments Hi everyone, I'm Ashley. I'm originally from a super small, white Wisconsin town. I moved to Boston 11 years ago and it was one of my best decisions. I just finished grad school online so I am stoked to be able to comment about a reading I am actually very interested in for once! A haunting ghost of mine is a past relationship which affects current relationships and my view of myself. I am looking forward to connecting and growing with you all!


message 18: by Casey (new)

Casey | 1 comments Hi!

I’m Casey and I live in Waco, TX. I grew up in a tiny town in the Texas hill country. I’m so thankful for a community in which we will do the hard work of learning together!

My husband and I have two beautiful babies (3 & 4 years old) whom we fostered-to-adopt. One of my biggest ghosts is the longing for a healthy relationship with our kids’ bio mom. It’s an idealistic “what could have been,” however unrealistic it truly is. We still pray for their bio family all the time!


message 19: by Sundee (new)

Sundee Williams | 1 comments Hi all! My name is Sundee I currently live in Houston, but I grew up in a New Hampshire city that has ranked one of the least diverse cities in America for quite some time. My first exposure to friendship within diverse circles was Texas A&M and my life is forever changed for it.

Old ghosts...I grew up sexually molested by my stepfather, who is still married to my mother. I have said my piece to them and found some peace in that loss of family, but lately I’ve been mourning the loss of my childhood and seeing it impact my ability to be vulnerable in romantic relationships and my ability to take up space when living as a couple.


message 20: by Margaret (new)

Margaret | 1 comments Hi, my name is Margaret. I have lived in South Carolina for all but two of my 71 years. One of my deepest regrets is that I was not involved with the Civil Rights movement in the 60’s. I was too busy living my white privileged, self absorbed life at that time. I was fortunate enough to have parents who did help me realize how prejudiced our world was. They became actively involved in organizations that promoted equality and fairness more so than I did. My heart breaks over the fact that our country seems to be moving backward instead of forward with race relations. I want to learn ways that I can meaningfully help change this trend. I want to do this to ease my regret, but, more importantly, I want to know how to have a positive impact on the lives of my grandchildren and future generations in this regard. We can be better. I look forward to learning a lot through this book club.


message 21: by Cortney (new)

Cortney (cortney_hopps) | 1 comments Hi everyone! My name is Cortney. I grew up in North Carolina but ended up living in California for about 10 years. I just recently returned to NC last fall. I am a first time mom to a wonderful 4 month old little boy, a military spouse, and, I share this with some trepidation, I’m also a police officer. (Or, at least, I was prior to the military relocating my family.) I joined my department a few years ago with a goal to be one of the good ones, someone that positively impacted the community I served. I would like to believe that was the case during my time there.

I have several ghosts but one that haunts me is my first marriage. Though I’ve been divorced for a few years, and am now remarried & have started a family, I still think about that relationship often. I wonder what more, if anything, I could have done to save it. The hard truth is that it was a damaging and unhealthy relationship; leaving was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I never stopped loving him but I started loving me. Despite knowing all of that and the immense love I have for my current husband (who treats me wonderfully), a part of me will probably always wonder what if.

I found Black Coffee with White Friends on Instagram. I’m also an introvert, a 2w1 on the enneagram, and love black coffee. I am looking forward to learning, growing, & connecting with you all. Thank you for this opportunity and this community!


message 22: by Jodi (new)

Jodi | 14 comments Hi, I'm Jodi. I grew up in a small town in South Carolina, but have lived mostly elsewhere since adulthood - 10 yrs in San Diego and now almost 14 yrs in the Boston area. I've been growing in my awareness of my white privilege, implicit bias, and yes, even racist thoughts/perceptions that still need to be rooted out. I'm committed to doing the lifelong work of becoming anti-racist. Although I had a loving family and childhood, I'm haunted by the racial tensions/disparities/policies where I grew up. Hindsight is 20/20, but I'm so disturbed now by some of the policies that were in place at my high school during the late 80s/early90s (like voting for Black & White homecoming queens, student body presidents, etc). Not until my adult years via Facebook have I been able to reconnect with some of my Black friends, one of whom shared that the KKK called his home to make threats when he was a young boy because his father was running for a public office. Never, ever did I imagine this kind of racism was alive and well where I grew up (that's my white privilege obviously). It haunts me. It burdens me to see the never-ending injustices that are causing fear, anger, weariness among my Black friends and other marginalized minorities.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Jenifer wrote: "Hi, everyone. I’m Jen. I’m from San Diego, CA and still living here. One of my ghosts is that I parented my kids to the age of 17 and four, before understanding that therapy could help me heal from..."

Thanks for sharing Jenifer. I've been listing to a podcast Food Psych and it has revealed a lot of my issues with food due to childhood trauma. I tell my teen all the time that being a parent is so hard and that I'm making the best decision that I can from a very twisted and limiting past. Therapy was a Godsend for me. But not everyone is fortunate enough to have it. It should be essential in our healthcare. Thank you for sharing.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Madi wrote: "Hi all! My name is Madi, I am a newly graduated nursing student living in a suburb of Denver, Colorado. I am so excited to learn with you all!

In terms of ghosts from my past - I struggle with my..."


Hey Madi, I certainly hope the book helps us all navigate regrets we've had from our past actions. It's hard being human, sometimes. Fraught with landmines we've all had to navigate. Thanks for being here.


message 25: by Jenifer (new)

Jenifer Lee | 3 comments Thank you. It’s so funny. I meant to type we have made ‘good progress’, but my typo is a godsend because I needed the response you shared! I will look into the resource you mentioned. 💛


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Kendra wrote: "Hello lovelies,
My name is Kendra Helfrich and I live in Yorkton, Saskatchewan (Canada). This is where I grew up (my parents live a block away in the house I grew up in) and after leaving for unive..."


Hey there Kendra, thanks for sharing all the way from Canada! I have a very romantic idea of what it would be like to move back to my home town. But, I lack the courage. I certainly hope this book helps even with those conversations we lack in regards to our treatment of Indigenous communities. It's long overdue for both Canadians and Americans. Thanks for sharing.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Ashley wrote: "Hi everyone, I'm Ashley. I'm originally from a super small, white Wisconsin town. I moved to Boston 11 years ago and it was one of my best decisions. I just finished grad school online so I am stok..."

Hello Ashley! Welcome. I love Wisconsin. I honeymooned in Mineral Point at a brewery/bed and breakfast. Lovely. It's good to have you here. I appreciate your willingness and openness.


message 28: by Jill (new)

Jill | 2 comments I’m Jill - mom of 5 from a small town on the prairie of Northeast Colorado. I was born and raised in Arizona, then married my husband who is a pastor here in Colorado. As for ghosts in the past - such a thought-provoking question. I think those moments where I felt I should’ve done something - should have helped, should have spoken up, should have paid more attention to the still small voice encouraging me to do something outside comfort zone - those moments still come to mind often and “haunt,” if you will.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Casey wrote: "Hi!

I’m Casey and I live in Waco, TX. I grew up in a tiny town in the Texas hill country. I’m so thankful for a community in which we will do the hard work of learning together!

My husband and I ..."


Hello Casey! I hear every word you wrote. We were foster parents and had two failed adoptions. I feel you with wanting to have a healthy relationship with the bio parents. But man, I sure do applaud the family that you're currently creating. What a beautiful, gracious and humbling journey. I'm so glad you're here.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Sundee wrote: "Hi all! My name is Sundee I currently live in Houston, but I grew up in a New Hampshire city that has ranked one of the least diverse cities in America for quite some time. My first exposure to fri..."

#metoo Sundee. It wasn't my stepfather but another kid in a basement of a neighbors house. I rarely speak about it. I'm so sorry for your hurt. I hope you find peace here. Thank you for the tender beauty of your presence.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Margaret wrote: "Hi, my name is Margaret. I have lived in South Carolina for all but two of my 71 years. One of my deepest regrets is that I was not involved with the Civil Rights movement in the 60’s. I was too bu..."

Oh Margaret! I'm so glad you here. I'm 51 so not quite as wise as you. But, my parents weren't involved in the civil rights movement. I often wonder if they regret it. I suppose they were terrified being working class blacks. They sought for better for their children. However, I feel they should have said more and shared more. All those unasked and unanswered questions haunt the space between those generations in my family. My sisters and I are trying our best to bridge the gap. Thanks for being here.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Cortney wrote: "Hi everyone! My name is Cortney. I grew up in North Carolina but ended up living in California for about 10 years. I just recently returned to NC last fall. I am a first time mom to a wonderful 4 m..."

Hey Cortney-- I'm a fellow 2 on enneagram and super introverted. I want to thank. you for your family's military service and also congratulate you on your little one. I'm a remarried divorcee too. So we have that in common as well. Thank you for sharing and being in this place with me!


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Jodi wrote: "Hi, I'm Jodi. I grew up in a small town in South Carolina, but have lived mostly elsewhere since adulthood - 10 yrs in San Diego and now almost 14 yrs in the Boston area. I've been growing in my aw..."

Hey Jodi, wow... it sounds like you had a very racially volatile past. I hope you don't beat yourself up for what you didn't know when you were a kid. So much of it is buried in school curriculums and school policies. You can't unlearn what you haven't learned. And back in the 80s, we were not taught to listen to innerselves. We weren't taught to challenge authority or to question what we were learning. So...you and I can only do the best that we can here and now! I'm happy to be here with you working for a different future.


message 34: by Stacy (new)

Stacy Hartman | 1 comments Hi! I'm Stacy from Indiana, but am moving to Houston, Texas in 3 short weeks! My lovely husband has a career opportunity we will pursue there for a year. I'm excited for many reasons, but one is to be immersed in a diverse city since I have primarily lived in very white communities. As a few others have mentioned, I have been more and more convicted of the lack of variety in voices I listen to, people I interact with, and hard things I press into. I recognize a lot of this comes from a lack of intentionality on my end and fear. Fear of being ignorant, fear of hurting while trying to help or learn, fear of realizing the biases and prejudices that probably exist because of my upbringing and privilege. I want to be able to truly love my neighbor, every neighbor. So I'm hear to listen, lean in, and learn.

I would say a "ghost" is my struggle with fear. Fear and anxiety have always held a dominant place in my life from growing up in an anxious, paranoid home. It too often has ruled my decisions and therefore stolen joy, adventure, and growth. It's something I work on surrendering daily so I can live my life to the full.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Cortney wrote: "Hi everyone! My name is Cortney. I grew up in North Carolina but ended up living in California for about 10 years. I just recently returned to NC last fall. I am a first time mom to a wonderful 4 m..."

Also, I'm extremely excited that you're a police officer. I've had a lot of conversations with wives and mothers of police officers--but I haven't had the pleasure of talking with a police officer. I picked this book specifically because I felt that it handled the character of the officer without demonizing or deflecting truly complex issues. I'm curious to know your feelings. Thank you for being here and for serving!


message 36: by Corinne (new)

Corinne | 1 comments Hi Everyone, I’m Corinne and I have lived in North Carolina for 14 years, formerly in the Triangle and now in Eastern NC. Thank you so much for doing this! I’ve been trying to expand my reading and research to do the work of being actively anti-racist, and I’m really happy to find this community. I think similar to Linda, above, my “ghost” would be my difficult relationship with my mother, who passed away in 2015. For a variety of reasons, she and I were not able to have closure with one another and heal together, and that has and will continue to haunt me.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Stacy wrote: "Hi! I'm Stacy from Indiana, but am moving to Houston, Texas in 3 short weeks! My lovely husband has a career opportunity we will pursue there for a year. I'm excited for many reasons, but one is to..."

Hello Stacy, Real talk? I'm scared too. I don't want to say anything ignorant either. But I might and in the past I have. The important thing is to remember is that you're allowed as a human being to fail. We all do. But a wise human being falls forward. Surrender to your total complete, divine humanity. I hope that helps. So glad to have you here.


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Jill wrote: "I’m Jill - mom of 5 from a small town on the prairie of Northeast Colorado. I was born and raised in Arizona, then married my husband who is a pastor here in Colorado. As for ghosts in the past - s..."

Hello Jill, your ghosts made me wonder if being a Pastor wife makes that harder? I would think that you have a lot of expectations on your shoulders. Curious about your thoughts on that. I'm so very glad your here. I do have a fondness for clergy wives!


Black Coffee with White Friends | 194 comments Mod
Jenifer wrote: "Thank you. It’s so funny. I meant to type we have made ‘good progress’, but my typo is a godsend because I needed the response you shared! I will look into the resource you mentioned. 💛"

Hahahaha...Well thank goodness for that good progress rather than food progress. Don't know how helpful Food Psych would even be to you. LOL. Here's a question for you, what has been helpful in that good progress?


message 40: by Debbie (new)

Debbie (debwolfe) | 1 comments Hi! I'm Debbie. Originally a native New Yorker, I'm settled for the duration in the DFW area of Texas after stints in various places across the country. I'm sure I have many ghosts, but one that comes up for me at intervals and is particularly relevant is the time I let a colleague of color be denied admittance to a venue a bunch of us from work were going to. I did not stand up for him and I let him leave while the rest of us went in. Of all the people I've wronged in some way over the years, if I could fix only one, that would be it.


message 41: by Malissa (new)

Malissa (libraryblondie) | 6 comments Hi! I'm Malissa. From the Fort Wayne, Indiana area, currently in Chattnaooga, Tennessee (for the past 8 years), but on my way back to Indiana soon.

I'm a public librarian but currently wrangling a 3yo daughter and 6yo son while trying to get back into the field after a couple of years home with kids and a divorce.

I'm here to read, listen, and learn.

Ghosts ... Probably the biggest is my father's mental illness growing up (type I bipolar disorder) and then the fact that I'm pretty sure my 8 year marriage was a mistake. I think I always knew it, but I can't truly regret my kids, you know?


message 42: by Jeanne Chester (new)

Jeanne Chester | 1 comments My name is Jeanne and I live in Memphis TN. I’ve been in Memphis all of my adult life except for a 2 year sojourn to OKC. I grew up in St Joseph, MO and Jackson TN. As a recovering racist I have many, many ghosts. From unconscious bias to blatant prejudice I’ve had/done/said it all. It grieves me deeply. I am educating myself and taking steps to root out those deep seated falsehoods. I am so glad I found you on Instagram in time to join this group and look forward the the book and discussion.


message 43: by Christine (new)

Christine | 1 comments Hi,
I'm Christine. I live in Laguna Beach, CA. I'm born & raised in Southern California. I'm looking forward to this book club.

My ghosts: 1) Paternal Grandmother. My Grandma was my caregiver. When you're a kid your Grandma is your Grandma. I'm 50 years old now. Looking back as an adult, my Grandma was woman of sorrow. She never used her voice. I wish I could have an adult conversation with her about her inner life.
2) Maternal Grandmother. My maternal Grandmother died when I was 2. From stories & research, she was a force. She was involved in her community. She was a woman of faith. She also experienced betrayal. I would have loved to have had a conversation with her too.
My wrong. I completely dumped my best friend in 7th grade to join a more popular group. I just stopped talking to her. When she confronted me she kept saying it was because she was Jewish. It wasn't but I just pretended like she didn't exist. If I could right that wrong I could.


message 44: by Uilani (new)

Uilani (ceusteks4) | 3 comments Hi, my name is Uilani. I currently live in a small-ish town in western Michigan called Grand Haven. I am originally from So. California, born in San Diego, but lived most my adolescent life in Orange Co. until I married and moved to where I live now. Thank you so much for this book club, I am eager to learn and participate. As for Ghosts I would say...finding out my father who raised me (who I absolutely love with all my heart) is not my biological father. Wondering who my biological father is and why he decided to leave definitely sits in the back of my mind.


message 45: by Corinne (new)

Corinne Allen | 2 comments Hello! I am Corinne. I have lived in Portland, Oregon for almost 6 years now, but I am originally from Santa Clarita, California. I have three children and a husband. I work as a school social worker.

I often feel haunted by the period of time when I was about 18 through my mid-20s. I don't know exactly why - possibly something to do with emerging adulthood. I am turning 40 tomorrow, but I have been thinking about this for years, so I don't think it's my age, necessarily, that makes me think about this period of time in my life with such mixed feelings.


message 46: by Cassie (new)

Cassie Henifin  | 1 comments Hi Everyone! I’m Cassie. This is my first Goodreads book club, tho I’m a pretty avid reader for someone with 4 kiddos under age 7. 😅 I look forward to having meaningful conversations about new reads. I’m from Bellingham, WA- about 1.5 hours north of Seattle.
My only sibling, a brother, was killed while walking with friends by a driver under the influence of drugs. He was 14 at the time and I was 16. While this isn’t the only thing that “haunts” me about my past— it’s a pivotal part of my life. Reading a book about a similar aged boy killed in a completely senseless way will almost certainly open wounds. And I’m honestly ready to dig in.


message 47: by keri (new)

keri yoder | 1 comments Hi all! I'm Keri, I just moved to Philadelphia from Portland Oregon, where I was born and raised. I have moved along the west coast over the past 20 years and decided to try out the east coast! I am here to read, listen, learn, and become a better ally, and use what I learn to have conversations with people who say "it happens somewhere else, doesn't impact me, not my problem...etc".

I just turned 42 and often have regrets and feel like I haven't done enough in the communities I've been a part of. I don't like spotlights, or being center of attention, but what could I have done to help the disenfranchised or lift up someone who is different than I am. I'm here to listen to my own advice and get uncomfortable about these topics and learn the stories, and what I can do to support POC to enact change.


message 48: by Abbey (new)

Abbey | 5 comments Hi, and thank you for accepting me into this book club! My name is Abbey and I’m originally from Newark, OH and currently live in Columbus, OH. A ghost from my past that haunts me every few months is from when I was in high school. This is so embarrassing and I’ve never told anyone about this, but here we are in the name of growth and accountability. In high school I worked at a restaurant as a hostess, and an Asian girl was hired on as a hostess after I had been there a while. One if the other white girls started calling her “China” behind her back, and I just let it happen and went along with it, as if it were okay. It makes me sick to my stomach and I think about her often, and try to just send good vibes to her through the universe. I wish it never happened, but more than that I wish I stood up to the popular girl whose approval I wanted and told her how wrong she was. I’ve grown leaps and bounds since then, but I still can’t believe I did that.


message 49: by Alana (new)

Alana | 8 comments Hi my name is Alana. I grew up in Riverside, CA, traveled the country and world, and have returned to Riverside, CA for the past 10 years. My ghosts are being an addict mother when my son was young. Tons of regret. When I got sober and lived with my roommate in SD, she was killed by a home intruder. I found her. That's another ghost. Ultimately, my ghosts led me to Jesus.


message 50: by L.A. (new)

L.A. Wiglesworth  | 6 comments Hi, My name is Lee and from what I’ve read I may be the first male to comment. I live is South Florida but I was born and raised in Kansas. My Grandmother is Okinawan. My grandfather and her met while he was stationed there in the AF. I’m a quarter Japanese.
Ghost: I was a teenage parent. My wife and I found out we were going to be parents when we were 17. This has always been a big part of our story. It shaped us greatly. We had family and community support. This always gave us a desire to help other teenage mothers with less support than we had. That lead us to foster, which lead us to foster a sibling later. Which after three years led to adoption. We have four children and I’m the only white male. My two sons are black. I struggle knowing I can never be a black father for them. I’m here because it’s very personal for me. Ahmaud was a black man out of place in a white neighborhood. More than likely my sons will grow up to be black boys in a white community. I mourn their loss of culture. I hear comments when I voice my concerns and fears for my sons that I shouldn’t worry, That I’ll “Raise them Right.” It hurts to hear. They don’t hear the racism in those comments.


« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7
back to top

1092853

Black Coffee with White Friends: Cream & Sugar...

unread topics | mark unread