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Critique Partners and Swaps > 26K 5ch Dystopian SF - Character Driven

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message 1: by Marc (last edited May 22, 2020 06:32AM) (new)

Marc B | 6 comments Warning - triggers - mentions of (not depictions of) sexual and physical abuse, death, PTSD

1094 is a woman who has had a tough life. Her parents were killed in front of her, she was abused, and now, she finds herself in indentured servitude. Until she meets an old man who recognizes her from her former life and begs her to save his children from the same fate she had to endure. She doesn't desire to be a savior, but, those kids. What will she do?

I would like to swap for something also character-driven, but anything SF, Fantasy, Action, I'm happy to read. Looking to get some comments on my characters, pacing, tone, etc. I have a full manuscript but just want to check the 1st 5 chapters for now.


message 2: by Julie (new)

Julie A. | 9 comments Hi Marc

I'm interested in reading your story, I really enjoy themes like this.

I have a finished yet unedited manuscript but I was hoping that maybe I could send you parts of it over time for feedback? I'll read how much you want in whatever time you ask.

A little about my story:
*There is a sudden catastrophe that happens which destroys Destiny's current home town, as she's in her father's hotel (which is linked to their apartment).
*Something is very wrong as she observes how people disappear right after their death without leaving a trace of themselves behind
*As destiny discovers more and more mystery, she is faced with the difficult decision of what to do next as she's left all alone without a clue about why everything keeps happening.

I feel like you might like the story (triology), especially as it grows. I have the three chapters for you to read if you want to.

If you're interested you can message or email me
julieadgriffs@gmail.com


message 3: by David (new)

David Octavian (inziko) | 58 comments Marc wrote: "Warning - triggers - mentions of (not depictions of) sexual and physical abuse, death, PTSD

1094 is a woman who has had a tough life. Her parents were killed in front of her, she was abused, and n..."


Hi Marc - Let me know if you're interested in swapping your work for a Dark Fantasy novel. It's 155k words but I can only send you the first 26k (same length as your story). Kindly see below info and let me know via PM if you're interested. Thanks. :)

Genre: Adult Dark Fantasy with Mystery and Horror elements.
Keywords: Prophecy, Kingdom, Mysticism, Dark, Atmospheric

Caleb - a mercenary with a mysterious past - escapes from his prison inside a high dark tower and is tasked with retrieving a long-lost journal which is the last hope for the salvation of his world threatened by a dark prophecy.

I can provide feedback on characters (voice, consistency, personality), worldbuilding (setting, description, exposition), plot, writing style and flow of story.


message 4: by Marc (new)

Marc B | 6 comments Hi David,

Thanks for reaching out. Yes, I would be interested in an exchange with you.

I am currently finishing up a read for someone this week, but if it still works for you, I can start next week.


message 5: by David (new)

David Octavian (inziko) | 58 comments Marc wrote: "Hi David,

Thanks for reaching out. Yes, I would be interested in an exchange with you.

I am currently finishing up a read for someone this week, but if it still works for you, I can start next w..."


Hi Marc - that's perfect.
Keep in touch!


message 6: by Marc (new)

Marc B | 6 comments David wrote: "Marc wrote: "Hi David,

Thanks for reaching out. Yes, I would be interested in an exchange with you.

I am currently finishing up a read for someone this week, but if it still works for you, I can..."


Hi David,

I've completed the read. Would you still be interested in an exchange?


message 7: by David (new)

David Octavian (inziko) | 58 comments Marc wrote: "David wrote: "Marc wrote: "Hi David,

Thanks for reaching out. Yes, I would be interested in an exchange with you.

I am currently finishing up a read for someone this week, but if it still works ..."


Hi Marc - thanks, sure. I sent you a DM. ;)


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