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Ch. 9 > Reviews

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message 1: by smile (new)

smile even when you can’t (smileyfox) | 129 comments Ok, so what did you guys think? Any comments / concerns / suggestions / edits / ideas / etc? How can we make it better?


message 2: by Aҽɾιαʅ (new)

Aҽɾιαʅ Dყɳαɱιƈ (fairiefox14) review:

"“No, Sir.” I reply. On time this time." try, 'Not hesitating this time.'

Too many sentences start with I. this can easily be fixed by using commas and conjuctions to connect the sentences.

Most everything is stuff I've already covered, so there isn't as much this time.


message 3: by smile (new)

smile even when you can’t (smileyfox) | 129 comments Ok, thanks!


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