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Ch. 7 > Reviews

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Sᴍɪʟᴇʏ Fοⅹ | 129 comments Ok, so what did you guys think? Any comments / concerns / suggestions / edits / ideas / etc? How can we make it better?


message 2: by Aҽɾιαʅ (new)

Aҽɾιαʅ Dყɳαɱιƈ (fairiefox14) notes:

¨I’m thinking about what I just did to those kids. The government had asked us to take the powers away, so there was no avoiding it. But I still feel guilty.¨ Wait, the government? since when?

What is the holder? It´s name sounds very unprofessional, I don´t know.

Looking back on the government part, this whole thing is just very sketchy, like some deal in the bad part of town. If it was the government, it wouldn´t be as...cruel? under the radar?

Why is Nigel now athletic enough to climb the stairs two at a time?

everything is in the moment, I need some memories to flash back on

¨I walk over to my desk and sit down in my chair. I turn on the screen. I pause.¨ Too many sentences start with I, again, use some commas and variety.


Sᴍɪʟᴇʏ Fοⅹ | 129 comments Definitely agree...


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