Part 3 - Boys

[alyssa]

...

[Susie]

Glennon Doyle continues to inspire. I really like the chapter on erikas. It really spoke to me because in a way I felt like I was being tamed. The part where she started stating how the politicians, the diet culture, legal system, and our childhood stories all controlled the way we behave, fear ourselves and to fear our curiosities had me reflecting on my life. I started to think whether I did certain things to please other people or if I was afraid to do certain things because of what I was told as a young child. Was I tamed? I don’t know, maybe. I also really like the ending of vows when she said she would toss the sign that read “Every little thing is going to be all right” and replace it with “ Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” I think that is beautiful because the world is a scary place. As I grow older the more I realize how messed up it really is but we have to be able to bring change to certain things, but an optimist is the most radical thing a person can be in this world. I really enjoy reading this book and sharing my thoughts with all you amazing women! 😇

[Alyssa]

I am so happy to say that I enjoyed this week's reading so much more than last week! It feels as if she is beginning to dig deeper into her personal story more, and those are the moments I am relating to and appreciating the most.

When she starts off by discussing her binging and drinking issues, I was surprised to find out that she was a 3rd grade teacher! It is brave of her to open up and be honest about her personal issues while also holding a position of power and influence over children. She must have been aware of the pushback or concern that past parents might feel if they find out about her own demons during that time. It was quite shocking, personally.

Another piece of honesty she shares that is personally a little conflicting is how she retells her parenting of her youngest daughter, Amma. She admits to not remembering her daughters age, giving her an iPad as a parenting/distraction tool, and how she allowed her daughter to grow up and become independent. At the end of written admission, she says that it has benefited her daughter. I can't decide if I feel like this might be a cop-out to make herself feel better about her choices as a mother, or if distancing and not micromanaging your child's life is a progressive, beneficial way of parenting.

I LOVED the story about Alicia Keys deciding to not wear makeup. I don't know about you guys, but once you start wearing it to work or social areas, it is incredibly difficult to give up makeup. Once somebody notices that you aren't wearing anything they mention, "Oh, you look tired today!" It is easier to give in and just conceal the bags versus explain that how my face actually looks. It was inspiring to read about how Keys stated, "I do whatever the fuck I want!" in response to Adam Levine asking why she is putting on lipstick.

The story that hit me in the feels the most was "Terms" and the pressure of finding and keeping friends. There was a small dialogue about how there is always a ping-pong of texting, the disappointment, and not truly wanting to meet for coffee or to be with people. I personally have fallen behind on friendships because I am okay being alone, and I don't like having to "keep in touch" with small talk. At first it was relieving to find out that others feel that way...until she went into the anecdote of how she was praying for help. When she needed to be helped or rescued from her situation, she was given Elizabeth Gilbert as a friend. She wanted to push away, but the perfect person was plopped in her life. It made me reflect on how to be more open to the people God might be putting in my life instead of trying to cling on to previous, dead relationships that are unfulfilling.

Lastly, I loved the quote "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." I almost want to get this printed and put it in my classroom for next year. I love the brutal honesty of the quote.

Overall, I was so much more intrigued with the writing and unfolding story this week. It is keeping me interested. I hope the repetition of her husband, her meeting Abbey, her bulimia, etc. doesn't become redundant. It is kind of difficult to understand how we are only halfway done with this book so far. It almost feels complete.

[alyssa]

I really appreciated Glennon’s description of “the ache”. It’s a feeling that I’ve always noticed, but have never been able to put words to as she does. I’ve definitely noticed myself missing out on moments of joy because the realization that it’s all fleeting hits me hard and fast. It was comforting to read about her experiencing and embracing that feeling rather than pushing it away (like me). When she’s with her dying grandmother she says that she is “in the ache” and is there with everyone who has ever felt...well anything. I love the quote “The ache is love. The ache was never warning me ‘this ends so leave’. She was saying ‘this ends so stay’”. Next time the ache hits me, I’ll try not to stiffen or hold my breathe and just feel it.

Chase was so right when he said that having a phone can feel like a job that I don’t get paid for. Sometimes I love it! It’s so cool to have social media and connect and learn this way. But other times it’s incredibly draining and I waste so much time. So even as an adult I’m working on phone moderation :/ lol

Like Alyssa, I’m not sure I agree with Glennon’s parenting choices. Parenting is something really personal so Glennon’s idea of “good parenting” is probably not the same as mine. I think that Glennon comes from a very individualistic perspective, which is not really how I was raised. My family is Americanized, but maintains collectivist features. I struggle to find a middle between my upbringing and being “untamed”. I know her point is that society feeds women impossible expectations, which is true. But from her perspective it seems like a lot of my culture is considered denying myself, which I don’t completely agree with. I don’t believe that putting “me” before “we” or “us” is always the right choice. That being said, I have really been enjoying the book and while I don’t think I’ll adopt all of Glennon’s tips she has a fresh perspective for me to consider. And I still feel like I can take from her what serves me.

[alyssa]

AND I have also enjoyed sharing and learning from all of you 🤗

[Leah]

I really liked that this section felt less like just consecutive anecdotes, and that Doyle went more into depth on topics like her divorce and the Ache. However, the chapter that most interested me was actually one of the shorter ones, about Amma and Tish getting their ears pierced. It is nothing new to redefine bravery in literature and movies as Doyle does here, but what caught my attention most was when she writes something about how conformity and rebellion are both just reactions to what others are doing, and therefore neither is inherently better than the other. I think this is especially relevant in an age where being a non conformist and having “unpopular opinions” is becoming a sort of a trend, ironically enough. This serves to demonstrate Doyle’s point that to act based on what we observe others are or are not doing is not a fulfilling way to live, and that we must instead turn entirely to ourselves, or to our own Knowing.