Moyes, Jojo - Me Before You - Informal Buddy Read; Start January 5, 2015

[Snowtulip]

I read until my eyes were drooping closed last night, but I'm still only at Ch. 9

(view spoiler)[I'm wishing Lou's family treated her a little better, they are a loveable bunch,but it's almost like they have no faith in her or see her worth. Not loving Patrick. I'm enjoying the friendship that is beginning to bloom with Lou and Will, they both seem to need a friend. Was heartbroken to read about Will's 6 month agreement with his mom, stressing me out a bit!! (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Snowtulip wrote: "I read until my eyes were drooping closed last night, but I'm still only at Ch. 9

[spoilers removed]"
That's me tonight... So sleepy...
I felt that way too (view spoiler)[ about Lou's family. They were really on my nerve at the beginning but they sort of ended up growing on me. (hide spoiler)].

[Kate]

End of Chapter 5

(view spoiler)[ I'm enjoying the story so far. I can relate much to Lou with her being unsure of what exactly to do with life. I just feel bad that most of the family members rely on her for money which is such a great responsibility.

As with Patrick, I'm not entirely sure what to think of him. It seems he is self-centered because all he does is talk of himself and talks dismissively of whatever Lou is telling him. On the other hand, they've been together for so long so it must be kind of a routine already.

Will, the poor thing, I can't blame his apparent loss of passion for anything. Though, I hope he lets more people in. (hide spoiler)]

I'm enjoying the story thus far! :)

[Nichole]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Nichole wrote: "I finished this tonight and I really liked it. It was hard to put down once I started. 4.5 stars! ..."

Nichole - [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[ It's too bad that her mom shut her out at the end. With a subject matter like this things get sticky. What is the right or wrong answer, ya know. When a person feels so strongly one way or the other there is no reasoning with them. Still, I can't imagine just shutting my daughter out like that. (hide spoiler)]

Margaret-(view spoiler)[ I agree with everything you have said. Spot on. Very well put :) His POV would have been great to hear. (hide spoiler)]

[Nichole]

Snowtulip- (view spoiler)[Wasn't that heartbreaking? I was stunned. It would be hard to play it cool with a secret like that. (hide spoiler)]

[Tawallah]

I'm at chapter 11 now and really enjoying it. It has a typical British vibe. Lou is the quirky one but a little dense at times. I love the interactions between the family and her and Patrick. (view spoiler)[ Patrick is so selfish and obsessed with being buff. I can't believe she is waiting for him to propose. Can't wait until she dumps him. (hide spoiler)].

The Traynor family, wow. I'm glad that Camilla hired Lou and we get this peek into their totally dysfunctional relationship. (view spoiler)[ And then the pact, I'm angry too. Why aren't the parents fighting more for Will to live? Can't wait to finish. And I wonder if Lou can make a difference. I'm rooting for her. (hide spoiler)]

[Snowtulip]

June wrote: "I'm at chapter 11 now and really enjoying it. It has a typical British vibe. Lou is the quirky one but a little dense at times. I . [spo..."

I'm with you June!

[Rebecca]

I agree with Snowtulip and Kristin - (view spoiler)[ Lou's family made me very frustrated. They seem really fun and a little disfunctional (like all families) but really loving. However, their attitude difference between Lou and her sister really started to get on my nerves. I agree that it gets a little better, but it just seems like they don't treat her as well as they should. It's interested to see the contrast between her family and Will's. (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

RebeccaS wrote: "I agree with Snowtulip and Kristin - [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[I know, right?? Their two families couldn't be more different from each other. In the end, I felt like I had a better understanding of both of them and felt some sort of affinity to each, but by far, I'd much rather be a part of Lou's family over Will's!!!

Ya, I had a love/hate relationship with the sister. Sometimes I thought she was sweet to Lou, but other times she was so incredibly self-centered. Not sure how much was because of her additional responsibilities with her little boy, but I kind of think she's always been spoiled as her family seems to have always catered to her as "the smart one". (hide spoiler)]

[Snowtulip]

Up to Ch. 15 (view spoiler)[ How much do I love Lou's Bday Party with her family and how much everyone loved Will!!! I loved it, and the bumble bee leggings!!! (hide spoiler)]

[Nichole]

Snowtulip wrote: "Up to Ch. 15 [spoilers removed]"

That was great. (view spoiler)[ Especially the heartfelt gift of those hideous leggings :) And Will's parting comment! LOL (hide spoiler)]

[Snowtulip]

Nichole wrote: "Snowtulip wrote: "Up to Ch. 15 [spoilers removed]"

That was great. [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[I really liked Will with self confidence and smiling, he was enjoying himself! Agree, about the parting comment :) (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

That was one of my favorite parts of the book!

[RachelvlehcaR]

I finished the book. I know that my view of this isn't a popular view.

(view spoiler)[I have some major issues with the book. 1. I think Lou is wrong and shouldn't have been in that job. She crossed professionalism and boundaries. These are major and I mean major concerns and would get someone fired and in court. You will get slapped with never being allowed to work with Adults or children ever again. There are reasons for these laws and WACs in place. WACs since I'm in Washington but they are adopted in all State and a good amount of countries.

She should have quit. She didn't and I know many of you think that it was more like hiring a "friend" instead of a caregiver but that wasn't the case she was sent out by a worksource program for a caregiving position. It is caregiving even if it is more for mental health.

Next, I have an issue with the whole Pat issue. Everyone is bashing on the guy. Yeah, he is into himself at this time but also he is a young male and he is in (or was) in a relationship that wasn't healthy for him nor his partner which is both of their faults. So if you are blaming him you need to blame Lou. She was just selfish and they just did the motions and routines and that's how they fell into place. Does it make him a bad guy, no. Now if he was beating her and such that would be another story but he wasn't. Not only that, health and fitness is very important to him so when he saw that she was getting feelings for someone he sees as weaker than himself, it made him feel bad about himself. Now if he was in a loving relationship where they had good healthy communication and trust this never would have been an issue but since they were just together for convenience and habit it is an issue. So, try to look at this in a different light.

Next, I think Lou was disillusioned. First of all if someone wants to end their life, there is nothing you can really do about. The battle is in them. All you can really do is show you care and listen to them. She has a superwoman syndrome going on and thought she could save him through love. If anything she did help him feel loved and he felt good to go. He was done.

Next, I see where Will has his anger. Most people would have major problems if this accident happened to them. I see it every day and I have clients on Hospice (end of life care) and off Hospice say that they are ready. Some of them are in their 90s and say they want the angels to come down and get them. Others have good days and bad days where they cry and there is nothing you can do for them at that point other than make sure they have food, are comfortable, and listen with them. I have seen the pain in their bodies, the swelling, the huge amount of drugs, the hospital trips and so on. I will never ever judge a person for wanting it to end and if in the end they choose that route. It's hard to see and watch but it's apart of this world.

End of life doesn't have to be sad (which I didn't cry in the book--I'm sure you are not surprised). It can be a very peaceful and powerful moment. It's making sure that the person is at peace and comfortable. Yes you can say you will miss them and cry. That's apart of it. But you need to know this is their time. I have taken many End of Life classes I'm thankful for it because it changed my perspective.

The one little thing I liked about this book was at least Will went happy. (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Rachel - (view spoiler)[
Is there an ethical loophole if she was a really bad care giver? (Kidding!)
I can totally see how you would have issues with this book. If I had your background, I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same way. I loved Grey's Anatomy but I know of so many doctors and nurses who hated that show because of all of the inaccuracies. Even if my own personal ignorance allows me to enjoy this book, I find everyone's different opinions interesting because there are so many ways to look at the story and consider. Your opinions added a lot of information on a subject I knew very little about previously, so that was cool.

I do understand what you are saying about Pat - they did both get themselves into that lame relationship convenience. I absolutely believe that to be true. Pat also got points for surprising Lou with a romantic dinner that was Marathon discussion free. I just think my biggest gripe with Patrick was when he leaked the personal information about Will's desire to end his life and the press shows up hounding Lou. I thought that was pretty low.

I have to say that I was really shocked that the book ended the way it did, all along I kept thinking that he would change his mind. What you mentioned about Lou thinking it was up to her to change his mind, I felt the same as you - that there wasn't anything SHE can do to change his mind. He either has to want to live or he doesn't. I can't imagine what it must be like to be him and suffer through all the things he's had to endure so I did end the book with an acceptance ~ or an appreciation for his decision and how he felt it was the best choice for him. I bawled for Lou though and how she must have felt to feel her love wasn't enough for him. It was a really tough situation for both of them for sure.
(hide spoiler)]

[Beth]

Just started this! Only a few days late.

First thoughts through chapter three:
(view spoiler)[I didn't read the back of the book so I thought that she was his girlfriend. I want to know what happened to his girlfriend. So far in chapter three, we don't know what happened to them after his accident.

I would love her job. I love my caregiving job but have always found a home care job interesting. Especially when they are around the same age.

I'm not sure how to feel about Will's mom. I feel like she's under a lot of stress but it seems like she treats him as a burden instead of a person. (hide spoiler)]

[Beth]

Chapter four:

(view spoiler)[Will is such an arse, but I can definitely see why. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that would be for him.

I also don't like that Alicia left him and is now getting married to his FRIEND. I don't doubt that he pushed her away, but that doesn't mean that someone walks away.

I can't help but love Will though.(view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Yea.. (view spoiler)[ Felt sooo bad for Will when his ex girlfriend and his friend showed up and dropped their news on him... Ugh! (hide spoiler)]

[Beth]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Yea.. [spoilers removed]"

RIGHT?
(view spoiler)[You don't show up for EIGHT MONTHS and then you both show up and you're like "hi so sucks that you can't walk but um!!! we're getting married ok bye!!!!" Like that is so disgusting (hide spoiler)]

[Rebecca]

The worst part is (view spoiler)[ they seemed to want his blessing? Or at least his understanding. Then when he is mad they act like the victims. I can't understand why they don't see how painful it is for him and how he has lost everything. Ugh (hide spoiler)]

[Rebecca]

Also I'm getting near the end and I feel like my reading pace has slowed way down. I just know the end is going to be depressing and I don't know if I'm ready to get there. Sometimes if a book is depressing it affects my mood, so I'm not looking forward to that.

[Rebecca]

Okay I just finished so I finally get to see what all the spoilers are about.

I have very mixed feelings about this book and I need to organize my thoughts a little.

[RachelvlehcaR]

RebeccaS wrote: "The worst part is [spoilers removed]"

Because it's all about them. They are only thinking of themselves.

Another reason why I don't like the book.

[Rebecca]

I think this book was very interesting for its subject matter and for the issues and debates it brings up. (view spoiler)[ It's easy to say "this is the right thing to do" for either side of the argument, but life's not just that simple. Everyone has a right to their own decision and ultimately to lead life the way they want. That being said, accidents and decisions affect many people, thus making everything more complex.

However, in terms of plot I was not surprised by any of this. I think it was a very predictable plot and I could have probably written a synopsis after only a couple of chapters. I don't know how else it could have gone without being completely far-fetched, but I do feel a little let down. That being said, I think the characters are great and the writing is beautiful and really well done. I'm having a little trouble with what I want to "rate it".

I agree with what some others have brought up, that the "romance" seems a little twisted and un-realistic. I don't want to say that because I know love can happen in all different crazy scenarios. However, it almost felt like Patrick was added as a bad boyfriend in order to force Lou to love Will. That is the part that almost felt too forced for me. (hide spoiler)]

[Rebecca]

Also I have been thinking about Pat and I agree with RachelvlehcaR - (view spoiler)[ I think that Patrick isn't an awful terrible horrible person. He definitely wasn't the best boyfriend for Lou, but she didn't seem to put that much more into their relationship either. It seemed like both of them were stuck and just staying together because they did care for each other, but weren't committed enough to move forward. I think Patrick became self absorbed about his marathon passion, but Lou was also self-absorbed with her mission with Will (definitely not saying this is a bad thing!)

It seemed like it was hard for them at the time to be together. Relationships are tough and also getting only Lou's POV may skew it a bit.

HOWEVER, what Pat did at the end was truly despicable. I still can't believe he was petty enough to do that. (hide spoiler)]

[Snowtulip]

Beth (Ducky) wrote: "Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Yea.. [spoilers removed]"

RIGHT?
[spoilers removed]"

I know!!

[Beth]

Chapter 11

(view spoiler)[as they are going into the horse racing, it shows a good picture of how disabled people are treated in public. Why would they have GRASS parking lots? Especially when it can get muddy (they live in England ffs) and then wheelchairs will sink.

Then having the turnstiles. Like, that's not necessary. And THEN having the "disabled opening" all the way down. That just bothers me. (hide spoiler)]

[Beth]

RebeccaS wrote: "The worst part is [spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)[I was so conflicted because on one hand, you don't want anyone to want to die, especially when you love them. On the other hand, if you love someone, you have to support them. That's why this book was so hard for me because I saw both sides. I loved it though. (hide spoiler)]

[Beth]

RebeccaS wrote: "Also I have been thinking about Pat and I agree with RachelvlehcaR - I think that Patrick isn't an awful terrible horrible person. He definitely wasn't the best boyfriend for Lou, but she didn't ..."

I came to the conclusion that (view spoiler)[their relationship problems started WAY before she got the job with Will. They've been together for SEVEN YEARS and he ever asked her to move in, never said anything about moving their relationship forward. It was only in the last 6 months that she wasn't totally committed to him and he was gone way before that. I hated Patrick. (hide spoiler)]

[Kate]

It's been taking me a while to finish this book!

Chapter 20

Why why why are (view spoiler)[Patrick and Lou still together? It's obvious that love isn't there. I think it is more of a relationship that is inside their comfort zone. I don't trust Patrick and I felt Lou shouldn't have told him the truth. :( (hide spoiler)]

[Tawallah]

I've finished the book and I am have some misgivings on it. (view spoiler)[ I think it will be controversial, given the topic being discussed. That being said, I am pleased that a difficult one such as this was highlighted. And I agree that this is more about the families involved and not about Will per se. The interaction in Lou's and Will's family was good. There are two disparate views on family life but yet you get to understand each view point as the story develops.

My major misgiving is on the "romance" between Lou and Will. I think it is inappropriate given that she was meant to be a caregiver. It felt creepy to me, but I too work in the healthcare and the blurring of the lines is definitely frowned upon. Especially as Will left her money. And yes, it was to continue her development, it still can be construed as unethical.

But in terms of Will helping Lou to develop, that was endearing. I think that this is more about Lou and her coming out of her shell. There were times I felt like shaking her as she was so resistant to any change. But that's human nature. The concert, researching for possible trips, the trip to Mauritius and discussing what happened in the maze was great turnaround experiences.

Lou and Patrick seems to have garnered the ire of most of us here. The problem was they were both together and yet very much alone. It was their comfort zone. To say that Patrick was all bad isn't true. Lou was unhappy from before she met Will. But the view we have of Patrick was that of being self-absorbed with fitness. I was curious as to what his issue may have been to exercise to the point of being too skinny according to Lou. But to spill the story to the press- bad move.

Finally, I am personally not in favor with the assisted suicide. I was upset that Will refused to see another view in spite of the experiences with Lou. But for Will, he was reluctant to adapt to such a drastic change in his lifestyle. And like Lou, just because you don't agree, doesn't mean you can't be supportive. I am glad she was there in the end.

Predictable, I agree. But I give kudos for dealing with a difficult topic. (hide spoiler)]

[Christine]

I just finished this book this morning. (view spoiler)[I thought it was an engrossing story. I enjoyed it, and I did cry during the scene when Lou confesses her love to Will. However, there are a few things that bug me about this book.

Like previous posters have mentioned, Lou's crossing of professional boundaries with Will was extremely inappropriate. I can see how she might not have realized that since she had received zero training in the field before starting this job (which I also found weird), and I can even see how maybe his family might have allowed it to happen since they were desperate for anything that might make him decide to live. But it just gave the whole book somewhat of an "ick" factor for me.

Obviously Lou and Patrick's relationship was not a great romance. It seemed clear that the only reason they were still together was that their relationship was comfortable and convenient, and nothing better had come along yet for either of them. I did think Patrick's extreme involvement with fitness was well portrayed.

My main problem with the book is that the Lou-Will love story is so clearly doomed. While I felt sorry for Lou, I was so glad when Will told her it could never work between them. Setting aside Will's disability, one of the main reasons I feel that way is that Lou always seemed much younger than 27 to me, and Will was always the one teaching her things and opening up a whole new world to her. Also, they were TOTALLY different people. The only reason they were finding things in common to talk about was because Will was sort of remaking Lou into a different person by encouraging her to widen her horizons and try different things. This whole thing really creeps me out, and while they did care for one another, I don't think either of them would have chosen each other to be in a relationship with if they'd had any better options.

I loved the portrayal of Lou's and Will's families. One of the best parts of the book for me! (hide spoiler)]

[Allison Ann]

I hated this book so much that I wasn't even going to participate in this BR, but I'm still so annoyed that I can't even sleep so perhaps ranting a bit will allow me to get it out of my system.

(view spoiler)[The overwhelming theme of this novel was, to me, selfishness. All of the characters with the exception of Nathan come across as small, selfish people. Now in a real person, these traits probably wouldn't bother me so much, but in the black and white world of fiction, I hated them. I think the forced romance bothered me most of all. Should Lou and Will have remained friends I might have liked the book more, but their love was ridiculous and fake and way too Pygmalion for my liking.

Will and his "this life is too small for magnificent me, I who truly lived life to the fullest before this cruel accident" was the worst. If he hadn't gone through with the suicide within three months he would have been blaming Lou for everything and lashing out at the world again. He wasn't nice before the accident, losing your mobility doesn't make you nice.

I personally have no problem with assisted suicide. Our world isn't underpopulated. If someone is sick and tired of being sick and tired (and miserable to the world) then where is the stigma in ending your life? Doing it painlessly in a clinic is a hell of a lot better than hanging yourself in your grandparents' basement for your 10 year old sister to find. The only problem I see is with the survivor's guilt and the extra guilt that comes with the relief.

I could complain about all the other characters but it's almost 3 a.m. and I am tired now. Maybe I'll get to them tomorrow. My final thought is just that I could have gone to my parents at any time and told them I was a serial killer who had been murdering priests in my spare time and they wouldn't have thrown me out of my home. They would have called the police and made sure I spent the rest of my life in prison, but they wouldn't have stopped loving me. If you can't love your children through anything, why the hell do you have them? Lou's mother sucked! (hide spoiler)]

[RachelvlehcaR]

LOL Allison. I'm so with you!!! I really am. Welcome to the Haters of Me Before You! :)

[Allison Ann]

I even hate the name now that I know what the book is about. Blaargh!!! :D

[RachelvlehcaR]

LOL. I know. I know. I didn't like the book. It's my first and only 1 star book for 2015. Now mind you, this is only the beginning of the year, but good gravy. I don't know why people love it so much. Like if I had the physical book that thing would have been thrown across the room, since it was on my kindle just a loud groan and the delete button.

[RachelvlehcaR]

BTW I needed that laugh. You reply made me laugh. It was a good laugh.

[Rebecca]

Ughhh I didn't even think about the name, but now I hate that too!