Lyrical discussion
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Lyrics Competitions
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COMPETITION #10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ieeeeeeee!
Oh, and one more thing guys! Since this challenge is hardcore, I will also be openly judging your entries after you post them, although we will still have a poll afterwards.



(Of course, since I haven't heard a new POP song in 10 years ...
No problem.)
If it's a song that you might not be aware of, I'll somehow attach a link to the original.
Sound okay? Am I pretty much on track?
And you're right, this Comp IS a Doozy!
Love LL
Yep, on the right track, ANY song as long as the syllable count somewhat matches the original song, (Example:
"Cause I'm, daydreaming!"
You CANNOT go:
"Because I'm, having a nightmare!"
"Cause I'm, daydreaming!"
You CANNOT go:
"Because I'm, having a nightmare!"

Also when is the end date??
Yes it can, Penny. Notice I said "Syllable count SOMEWHAT matches" Because it doesn't have to be entirely perfect, it just has to go along the same lines as the song.
O_O GUYSSS. COMNNN. Do you really ask that still?! It's Monday to Monday! xD
O_O GUYSSS. COMNNN. Do you really ask that still?! It's Monday to Monday! xD

I have noticed that when many people are on a beach they like to play with any sea creatures that have come on shore. Starfish are so lovely that they are hard to resist. People pick them up. Play with them. Take pictures with their phones for Instagram and other social media. But it's tragic because the starfish end up dying from all the handling and so many people present.
So may I present (Insert Drumroll)
SHALLOW
from A Starfish is Born
Tell me something girl
Are you happy in this Tourist world?
Or do you need more
Are you happy on the Ocean floor
I'm float-ing
When it's busy I feel myself gloating. I'm free.
But then they steal me. I get no help.
Tell me something boy.
Are you tired trying to just avoid
On the crowded beach
Trying to run from all those crushing feet
You move slow
While you're running you're squished and you're no more.
You're gone.
And though you cried out, you got no help
With all my five legs
Heading for big waves
Going for lower ground
I'll take a "Selfie"
Send it for no fee
Please leave me where I am found
In the sha-ha-sha-hallow
In sha-la-sha-la-shallow
In the sha-ha-sha-hallow
We’re far from the shallow now
Oh Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Haaa-ha ha ha ha ha. haaa
If they're not looking
Watching their phone ring
Maybe they'll fall and drown
Crash through the surface
Then they can't hurt us
They're dead in the shallows now!
In the sha-ha-sha-hallow
In sha-la-sha-la-shallow
In the sha-ha-sha-hallow
They'll leave us alone for now!
PARODY LYRICS by Laura-Lee Rahn

Song by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper from Soundtrack "A Star is Born"
Tell me somethin', girl
Are f happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for?
I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself
Longin' for change
And in the bad times I fear myself
Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?
I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself
Longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoah!
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now
LINK to official video at Lady Gaga YouTube Channel
https://youtu.be/bo_efYhYU2A
LINK Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper singing it at the Academy Awards
https://youtu.be/JPJjwHAIny4
I wasn't sure how to provide a link just for the song because I heard it at itunes through my Apple app and hadn't seen the videos. Hope this helps.
Love LL

I'll Make My Brain Work Again
Let's get down to business, to defeat my brain
Did they think I was smart, when in fact I’m not?
You're the saddest bunch I ever met
To assume I know that much
Oh my mind has turned into slush
Trying to stuff my brain full, but forgetting all
Once you pass the quarter, you are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make my brain work again
I'm never gonna catch my breath
Say goodbye to those who knew me
Boy, am I a fool in school for getting sick
This guy's got 'em scared to death
Hope he doesn't see right through me
Now I really wish that I had read that page
Become smart
We will study like there’s no tomorrow
Become smart
With all the force of a test approaching
Become smart
With all the strength of a raging teacher
Mysterious as the dark side of my scores
Time is racing toward me till homework is due
Heed their every order and I might survive
I’m unsuited for the rage of this
The problems, the tests, the books
How could I make my brain work again?
Become smart
We will study like no tomorrow
Become smart
With all the force of a test approaching
Become smart
With all the strength of a raging teacher
Mysterious as the dark side of my scores
Become smart
We will study like no tomorrow
Become smart
With all the force of a test approaching
Become smart
With all the strength of a raging teacher
Mysterious as the dark side of my scores!
Here are the original lyrics:
(view spoiler)

LL
Okay guys, whatta we have so far ;)
Shine, I like yours. The tone of your message really captures the feel we're going for. I'm failing to see where "The ghosts of Christmas Past Are:... (etc)" fit in with The Grinch song?
Laura-Lee, your song fits in nice with the original AND you made it rhyme, I'm impressed. It put a very vivid image in my mind.
The only thing is that it seemed more serious then comedic, but if that's what you're going for then it's okay.
Anna!! This is brilliant xD It was funny, and clever with witty catchlines people would remember. It fit in perfectly with the song, and you incorporated lyrics from the original.
Basically the only thing that threw me off is that it seemed more like a poem then lyrics, because it didn't rhyme all that much.
Shine, I like yours. The tone of your message really captures the feel we're going for. I'm failing to see where "The ghosts of Christmas Past Are:... (etc)" fit in with The Grinch song?
Laura-Lee, your song fits in nice with the original AND you made it rhyme, I'm impressed. It put a very vivid image in my mind.
The only thing is that it seemed more serious then comedic, but if that's what you're going for then it's okay.
Anna!! This is brilliant xD It was funny, and clever with witty catchlines people would remember. It fit in perfectly with the song, and you incorporated lyrics from the original.
Basically the only thing that threw me off is that it seemed more like a poem then lyrics, because it didn't rhyme all that much.

I'm glad you liked it! (Sorry you choked on a cookie! XP)
Question: I made the WEIRDEST parody about somebody who has a fear of food.....it doesn't rhyme and DEFINIETLY doesn't make sense but it's Funny! Is it still eligible?

As far as mine ... A Star is Born has been made into a movie four times previous to the Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper one. It is a very tragic love story filled with angst. When I heard Shallow, (like I could help it - the song was EVERYWHERE) I thought it was pretty stupid. And was just begging to be made fun of. I thought it was funny because it's two Starfish singing to each other instead of this classic love story. Like imagining if Rhett Butler was a Goat and Scarlet was a pig. But I guess MY funny ain't everyone's. My grandmother always used to look at me when I thought I'd told a fabulous joke and say, " Are you trying to be funny?" And most times I'd get a good laugh when I didn't even know what I said was funny.
I do have to admit that Shallow is such a strange song, just in it's rhyming scheme that about half way through working on it and listening to it for the kajillionth time I thought, "What did I get myself into.?!"
I should get some extra credit just for the fact that that stupid song is now stuck in my brain for forever. I actually woke up with it the day after I finished writing the parody. The sacrifices we "arteests" make!
Have a great Sunday everyone.
Love LL

LL
Ok, here's mine.......*drumroll*
Nevermind I don't think its drumroll worthy haha
Nevermind I don't think its drumroll worthy haha
Title: Distressed Out
Based off of: Stressed Out By Twenty-One Pilots
Real song: Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf4eu...
*drumroll*
HERE IT IS:
I wish I found some better foods no one's ever seen
I wish I had a better thirst for maybe some whip cream
I wish I found some resturants in an order that is new
I wish my tummy didn’t rumble every time I sang
When I was young I thought my fear of food would shrink
But now I'm insecure and I care what food thinks
My names Shayna and I care what food thinks
My names Shayna and I care what food thinks
1st version of chorus:
Wish I could turn back time,
Time,
To the good ol burgers,
When my papa said,
Now’s too late.
The food is stressed out.
2nd version of chorus:
Wish I could turn back time,
Time,
To the good ol pizza,
When my mama said,
Nows too late,
The food is stressed out
(view spoiler)
Based off of: Stressed Out By Twenty-One Pilots
Real song: Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf4eu...
*drumroll*
HERE IT IS:
I wish I found some better foods no one's ever seen
I wish I had a better thirst for maybe some whip cream
I wish I found some resturants in an order that is new
I wish my tummy didn’t rumble every time I sang
When I was young I thought my fear of food would shrink
But now I'm insecure and I care what food thinks
My names Shayna and I care what food thinks
My names Shayna and I care what food thinks
1st version of chorus:
Wish I could turn back time,
Time,
To the good ol burgers,
When my papa said,
Now’s too late.
The food is stressed out.
2nd version of chorus:
Wish I could turn back time,
Time,
To the good ol pizza,
When my mama said,
Nows too late,
The food is stressed out
(view spoiler)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQlBy...
From the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Wimoweh)
TITLE : The Dogies like to Play (A bang a bash)
Oh oh oh oh oh a bang a bash oh oh oh oh oh a bang a bash
A Bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash,
A bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash,
In the house, the mighty house
The dogies like to play
In the house, the mighty house
The dogies like to play
Oh Oh
A bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash
A bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash
In the room, the messy room
The doggies like to play
In the room, the messy room
The dogies like to play
Oh oh
A bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash
A bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash
Hush my darling don’t look my darling
The dogies like to play
Hush my darling don’t look my darling
The dogies like to play
Oh oh
A bang a bash, a bang bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash
A bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a bang a bash, a crash
Oh Oh

By Penny
((parody of " More Than Words " by Extreme))
Writing short stories,
Lyrics, and descriptions, and parodi-ies
Is not so effortless
To know just
How I should express
It's not easy
To write and think of all these things to say
I need more words!
To communicate
All my ideas
But I couldn't
Think of how
I could write down
The thoughts this profound
What should I do?
This competition
I will lose
I need more words
To show that I
Can enter
With all you guys
What should I say?
I can't finish this today
I don't think I can go on
Changing the words
Of this song!
Hahaha this spinoff was SO MUCH FUN!!! This is I think the first competition that I've entered heheh, and it was hecka fun;) Thanks Lana for the great idea!
Wow guys O_O Tons of you entered, lol!
Sooo.... It's kind of sad but not all of you rhymed xD (Y'all have a hard time following the rules, eh!?)
So kudos to those who did, but all titles who are not rhyming, you are still in the comp, I'm just going to have to change that rhyming rule. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE next time, this challenge is set up to be hard, pleeeeeeease can you at least try to follow the rules when I say them? :'D
And where's Maddie?! :o She's been an A+ student in entering every competition!
Sooo.... It's kind of sad but not all of you rhymed xD (Y'all have a hard time following the rules, eh!?)
So kudos to those who did, but all titles who are not rhyming, you are still in the comp, I'm just going to have to change that rhyming rule. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE next time, this challenge is set up to be hard, pleeeeeeease can you at least try to follow the rules when I say them? :'D
And where's Maddie?! :o She's been an A+ student in entering every competition!


Sooo.... It's kind of sad but not all of you rhymed xD (Y'all have a hard time following the rules, eh!?)
So kudos to those who did, but all titles who are..."
Aww sorry....!
Guys, I changed my mind. I'm going to give this till Wednesday night because I didn't even have the time to enter and I want to make sure all who want to can. A parody is a H A R D thing to write. Just hang on till then!!!

Could you explain the judging more?
I understand you critiquing them but what part does the Poll have to do with it. Is it just for us to have fun with or is it just you picking it. Remember, I joined this " party" after it had already had several contests already completed. Whoever wins will have lyrics made into a song by you, right? Which lyrics will be picked if there have been different lyrics/people as winners?
Can you clarify that or give me a LINK To where it is all explained.
Thanks for enduring me and all my questions, Lana.
LL

Glad you're giving it more time. I really hope there are more entries. This is great!
LL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQlBy...
From the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Wimoweh)
TITLE : The Dogies like to Play (A bang a bash)
Oh oh oh oh oh a bang a bash oh..."
The Lion Sleeps Tonight came out when my Mom was a teenager in the 1950s. It is so catchy and a great pick to do a parody of. Wish I had thought of it. Of course I cringed through the whole song with the doggies creating havoc and I will probably have that song in my head for AT LEAST the next week. But I'll forgive you because I enjoyed it so much. LL

I'm booking myself a one way flight
I gotta see the color in your eyes
And telling myself I'm gonna be alright
Without you baby is a waste of time
Yeah, our first date, girl, the seasons changed
It got washed away in a summer rain
You can't undo a fall like this
'Cause love don't know what distance is
Yeah, I know it's crazy
But I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough"
I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"
Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else
Who cares if you're all I think about,
I've searched the world and I know now,
It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind
Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy
Are you with me baby? Let's be crazy
Yeah
I wanna be scared, don't wanna know why
Wanna feel good, don't have to be right
The world makes all kinds of rules for love
I say you gotta let it do what it does
I don't want just another hug and a kiss goodnight
Catchin' up calls and a date sometimes
I love that we're rebels, and we still believe
We're the kind of crazy people wish that they could be, yeah
Oh, and I know we're crazy, yeah
But I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough"
I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"
Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else
Who cares if you're all I think about,
I've searched the world and I know now,
It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind
Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy
You with me baby? Let's be crazy
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
No, I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough"
I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"
Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn't make sense to anybody else
Who cares if you're all I think about,
I've searched the world and I know now,
It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind
Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy
Yeah, look at us baby, tonight the midnight rules are breaking
There's no such thing as wild enough,
And maybe we just think too much
Who needs to play it safe in love?
Let's be crazy!
Na na na na oh na na na na oh
Who cares if we're crazy? We gotta be crazy
I know that we're crazy, so let's be crazy
Yeah...
My parody is called, "I want sleepy."
I’m buying myself a big ole bed
I gotta feel good just one time
I’m telling myself I’m gonna sleep
Without this baby, I’m wasting time
Yeah, my first night, everything changed
I got swept away in my own bed
I can’t redo a love like this
Cause time don’t move with sleep like this
I know its tiring
But I don’t want some or not enough
I want to wake up to go back to sleep
Good night and one more minute, it does make sense to everyone
Who cares it its all I want
I’ve tried everything and I know now
It ain’t worth it, if you can’t sleep
I don’t want wakey, I want sleepy
You understand me, I want sleepy
Wanna be awake, not need caffeine
Wanna feel good, and I know why
I don’t make the rules for this
I just say to follow them
I don’t want one more night or up so late
Catchin’ up sleep at work sometimes
It rivals anything you’ve ever had
Cause it’s the kind of sleep you dream of
But I don’t want some or not enough
I want to wake up to go back to sleep
Good night and one more minute, it does make sense to everyone
Who cares it its all I want
I’ve tried everything and I know now
It ain’t worth it, if you can’t sleep
I don’t want wakey, I want sleepy
You understand me, I want sleepy
But I don’t want some or not enough
I want to wake up to go back to sleep
Good night and one more minute, it does make sense to everyone
Who cares it its all I want
I’ve tried everything and I know now
It ain’t worth it, if you can’t sleep
I don’t want wakey, I want sleepy
You understand me, I want sleepy
Yeah, look at me baby, I’m up with the sunshine
Dancing through the halls
And maybe through the streets
Cause I no longer need
To be sleepy
Who cares if your happy? We gotta be happy
I know that we’re happy, no longer sleepy
Hope you enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQlBy...
From the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Wimoweh)
TITLE : The Dogies like to Play (A bang a bash)
Oh oh oh oh oh ..."
Yeah I had it stuck in my head before and after writing it. Glad you like it!

(demons)
Everybody hates me
sometimes I
quit doing the nice things
just to prove them right
I get bullied
for most of my life
nobody likes me
they say
you're not good enough
I promise
I can see it now
I am such a failure
letting people down
nobody cares
about me for now
(My mind is a prison)
It's very hard to live
I know how it feels
everybody has been hating
i don't think I matter
sometimes I think that I
am always somehow messing up
life
I wish I could just
go away
so that's what I did
I guess my life is a prison
I can never get out
This is my parody off of Thomas Rhett's "Life Changes"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfJk...
( LOVE THIS SONGGG SOOOO MUCCCCCCH)
Waking up in my parents basement
Yeah my life, it was pretty basic
Don't give a crack 'bout education
Say college and I flinch
Logging on to my minecraft server!
Could get a job, but you know I prefer
Staying home, playing halo, eating Slurpee dessert
Yeah, I get girls in a cinch
Ain't it funny where life takes me?
Getting all those points
Yeah, impressing the ladies
Life takes me
Not my fault they call it unmotivated
You never know what's gonna happen
Think I'm great, but I hear God laughing
Where life, takes me.
Yeaaaaaah I'm a King James Baptist so I'm better then you
and everybody else says "Man, you're 32"
"Why are you such a loser? Hey, why don't you work?"
Cuz God's got other plans for me you sinner!
Nah, I'm too classy be a workin' man
Making updates on my instagram
'Bout all the cool stuff I built on Minecraft and-
Feeling so proud of myself.
Ain't it funny where life takes me?
You call it lazy, but I say I'm acing where life takes me
You know you like my username, baby
You never know what's gonna happen
Top of the list, but I hear God laughing
Where life, takes me
And I wouldn't change it for the world, the world oh no..
And I wouldn't change it for the world, the world... oh no...
(Note: I have no problem with people living with their parents even when they are older, but I am talking about when all they do is be lazy and play videogames all day and think so highly of themselves.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfJk...
( LOVE THIS SONGGG SOOOO MUCCCCCCH)
Waking up in my parents basement
Yeah my life, it was pretty basic
Don't give a crack 'bout education
Say college and I flinch
Logging on to my minecraft server!
Could get a job, but you know I prefer
Staying home, playing halo, eating Slurpee dessert
Yeah, I get girls in a cinch
Ain't it funny where life takes me?
Getting all those points
Yeah, impressing the ladies
Life takes me
Not my fault they call it unmotivated
You never know what's gonna happen
Think I'm great, but I hear God laughing
Where life, takes me.
Yeaaaaaah I'm a King James Baptist so I'm better then you
and everybody else says "Man, you're 32"
"Why are you such a loser? Hey, why don't you work?"
Cuz God's got other plans for me you sinner!
Nah, I'm too classy be a workin' man
Making updates on my instagram
'Bout all the cool stuff I built on Minecraft and-
Feeling so proud of myself.
Ain't it funny where life takes me?
You call it lazy, but I say I'm acing where life takes me
You know you like my username, baby
You never know what's gonna happen
Top of the list, but I hear God laughing
Where life, takes me
And I wouldn't change it for the world, the world oh no..
And I wouldn't change it for the world, the world... oh no...
(Note: I have no problem with people living with their parents even when they are older, but I am talking about when all they do is be lazy and play videogames all day and think so highly of themselves.)
Lana wrote: "This is my parody off of Thomas Rhett's "Life Changes"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfJk...
( LOVE THIS SONGGG SOOOO MUCCCCCCH)
Waking up in my parents basement
Yeah my life, it was prett..."
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! WOW THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfJk...
( LOVE THIS SONGGG SOOOO MUCCCCCCH)
Waking up in my parents basement
Yeah my life, it was prett..."
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! WOW THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!
Yeah I was laughing so hard when I read it :D
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.
My bet is only 5 or less people will enter, that's the hardcore I'm talkin' bout.
SO, we've waiting long enough with the suspense!
#10 challenge is......
(view spoiler)[
A PARODY!
Those of you who do not know what that is, let me explain.
A parody is an imitation of someone's song with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect.
Here's an example: Miley Cyrus' "Party in the U.S.A"
Has been done by Weird Al, making it "Party in the CIA"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-CG5... (Here's the imitation you can listen to.)
Now, some of you may not have heard the original, but you can still see the humor in the title!!
Here's an example:
Miley Cyrus' lyrics were: "So I put my hands up
They're playing my song,
And the butterflies fly away
Noddin' my head like, yeah
Movin' my hips like, yeah
I got my hands up,
They're playin' my song
You know I'm gonna be okay
Yeah, it's a party in the USA
Yeah it's a party in the USA"
And Weird Al changed them into..! :
"So I get my handcuffs
My cyanide pills
My classified dossier
Tappin' the phones like yeah
Shreddin' the files like yeah
And then I rised all the enemy spies
I've got to neutralize today
Yeah, it's a party in the CIA
Yeah, it's a party in the CIA"
So you see, he kept some of the original lyrics but changed them into his own way!
That's what I'm going for.
So here's the rules:
1. It HAS to have a similar syllable count as the original song!
2. It has to rhyme. (Ikr... I'm sorry for being so hard... not >:)
3. I realize not EVERYONE can write comedic lyrics, so it doesn't HAVE to be humorous, but if you can go funny, then please do!
4. You can take lyrics from the original song, and twist them around in your way, that's okay! The whole point is your taking someone's song and changing it, so it's not plagiarism to keep some lyrics of theirs.
5. You don't have to do the entire song, just do as much as you can and enter it!
6. Your entry will be judged on how witty and catchy your lyrics are, so get your clever on!
7. Choose ANY song you want, as long as it has words to it, and when you put your entry in, please put the youtube link on so I can listen to it.
If you have any questions PLEASE let me know if you don't understand!
Here's some parody suggestions you could do:
Disney songs, (Colors of the Wind, Part of your World.)
Lewis Capaldi "Someone you loved"
Cory Asbury, "Reckless love"
!! So many possibilities! Now go get em', guys. Knock this challenge out of the park and become the Grand Prize Winner!!!!!!!! *squeals*
(hide spoiler)]