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message 1: by Lillian (last edited Jan 22, 2020 02:08AM) (new)

Lillian O'Leary | 3 comments Hey all reading this,

I'm a teenage avid reader whose interested in taking on some new books. Beta reading is a really fun experience for me and this is not the first time I've done it.

Some genres I'm not really interested in, but I don't want to limit myself as I've read books in genres I don't generally like and have LOVED them, so don't worry about the genre. If I'm not interested, I simply won't reply.

As someone who has read a lot her whole life, I'm also quite good at pointing out mistakes. I'm not a writer, but I can see if a sentence seems off or if your repeating yourself etc. as I am a fresh pair of eyes. I may recommend ways to neaten it up, but again I'm not a writer so you can ignore my suggestions if you so please.

PLEASE DON'T SEND ME A FIRST DRAFT. Please make sure you have at least looked over it yourself before sending it to me, I know it is probably obvious for most of you, but I have had people send me the first draft and then get offended when I say there are quite a few things wrong.

I do my beta reading via google doc as it's easier for me to read and easier to point out things I like and things I think need improved. I'm a bit of a slow reader, so please lend me some patience

Look forward to hearing from you all :D


message 2: by Ali (new)

Ali Benice | 126 comments hi Lillian,

"A Weekend Trip from the Afterlife" tells the dark but comedic story of Joe, an underachiever young lad, and his great great great grandfather's ghost who comes to his visit for one weekend. It takes place in 2080, at a time when global warming, pollution, and human-caused natural disasters have wrecked the modern world, yet the consumers' culture is still intact. The ghost, referred to as sepia man, tries to get a grip on the new technology, fashion, unsanitary living conditions, lack of clean air and water, and above all, how people can still live their lives as if everything is normal under such circumstances throughout the story.


The world has gone through a natural cataclysm and is ruled by a capitalistic dystopia. Old skyscrapers lie more than halfway below the poisonous, risen, zombie fish lurking seawater, and the sun rays are scorching. It’s impossible to walk on the quays that make the streets outside without wearing portable tents.


Joe and sepia man get mocked, are lectured, and have the worst time of their lives and deaths throughout the tragically comedic story. The ghost questions Joe and his family about wars waged, and mass murdering atomic bombs. They talk about the past, books, and love.


The story is a contemporary one, mixed with single drops of sci-fi and fantasy: The future, and a ghost. It is 55,000(ish) words and is meant to be the first part of a five book series. I believe it is somehow similar in tone to Douglas Adam’s "A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" series (with its “pessimistic on a healthy dose” sense of humor), and Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s "The Little Prince".

I can send you the MS if it picks your interest.


Hope to hear from you.


Cordially,


Ali Benice


message 3: by Molly (new)

Molly Stegall (mollystegall) | 193 comments Hello, I have recently finished my Fantasy book: Ashes of Revenge (107,410 words). I would describe this as a YA Fantasy book and would love to have a Beta Reader(s) read and review it! If you would only be willing/able to do a chapter or two that is fine as well!
Thank you!

In the land of Fantacia, there are five Kingdoms that rule over all, each having its own species: Farian, Monstro, Mundus, Shifter, and Telik. The Kingdom's are constantly at odds and have been on the brink of war for years.

Hoping to take advantage of the Kingdom's disheveled state is Raven, a Mundus that has three-fourths of her body burned. Richard, a Farian with wings as dark as the night and an unmatched skillset with a sword. Colt, a Shifter with two different colored eyes who escaped the Shifter Kingdom and has unmatched fighting skills.

The small group wishes nothing more than to take over the Kingdom's and claim the thrones for themselves. However, one day Raven runs into the entity of Death, and he forces them to derail their plan and follow his, unknown to Richard and Colt. Raven has to go to the Kingdom that she never wanted to see again, the Mundus Kingdom. There, the group's secrets and pasts begin to slowly rise to the surface, threatning their plans. Raven is forced to do as Death says, which begins to take a physical and mental toll on Raven. However, they still have one goal - revenge.

Please PM me :)


message 4: by Broc (new)

Broc | 7 comments Lillian wrote: "Hey all reading this,

I'm a teenage avid reader whose interested in taking on some new books. Beta reading is a really fun experience for me and this is not the first time I've done it.

Some gen..."


I've got a middle-grade fantasy story that's about 83k words if your interested.


message 5: by MjEllis (new)

MjEllis | 3 comments Hi, I would love for you to take a look at my works. I have a MS that I have run through two or three times and feel it is ready for eta readers. Let me know if you are interested.

THIS IS FOR WHEN YOU MISS ME is a YA Fiction coming-of-age romance complete at 82,000 words.

Mari—the oldest of six—is at her mother’s beck and call. She wants nothing more than to escape her life that mirrors that of a housewife, and that plan involves the start of her senior year as Jacob Satterfield’s girlfriend, falling in love with him, and following him to whatever football school he gets into. But her friend since forever—Tommy—kisses her throwing a curveball in her plans. Mari—after sinking into the scorching kiss Tommy gives—comes to her senses and sets Tommy straight: she likes Jacob, Tommy is like a brother. Tommy starts his senior year under a confused cloud.

Mari’s thirteen-year-old sister begins to act out making wrong choices—causing tension between them, the duties at home become overwhelming, relationship pressure from Jacob increases, and a wave of mysterious roofies in girl’s drinks becomes increasingly present; Mari counts the days till she can get out of town and escape her role as second-mother, prudish girlfriend, and not-in-love-with-my-best-friend friend.

Tommy wrestles with keeping his feelings at bay while trying to remain a friend to Mari. He is the only one that Mari's sister will talk to, he needs to reveal Jacob’s true motives, and he tries to show Mari that she is capable of so much more than settling and letting a boy decide her future for her.

When a fateful night lands Mari in the hospital, she must decide what is true—in her heart and in her relationships.


message 6: by Panagiotis (new)

Panagiotis Karanasios | 7 comments Hello Lilian! I have the 4th draft of my book if you are interested.

The Amulet

Blurb: Rosa is expecting another boring summer. Until her mother dies. In her letter, Capella reveals the name of Rosa's father and leaves behind a ring and a necklace. Destined to find him whatever it takes, Rosa goes out on a journey with her best friends Deimos and Murphy in which she will she learn more about her mother's past, and of her own world.

NA Low Fantasy (114k)


message 7: by Ella (new)

Ella Kay | 13 comments I'm currently fine-tuning my 94k romantic fantasy novel to prepare for querying this spring. It's the first volume of a historical mystery trilogy layered with magic, humor, and a slow-burn love story. Here is the blurb:


When the truth of her inheritance surfaces in 1962, Donna has the means and motivation to leave years of debilitated confinement and a manipulative mother behind. Her memory is still blighted by a strange childhood accident back in 1955, and she has no recollection of the woman who willed her the property, but she seizes freedom with both hands and with no desire to look back.

When the rightful beneficiary of the old seaside estate turns up, lovestruck tenant Henry knows she’s above his touch. She talks like Katherine Hepburn and dresses like Sophia Loren, and he’s never even seen a smile like hers before. She’s also five years younger. She’s been sheltered. He’s promised the estate’s trustee to look after her – like “a big brother,” and he’s a man of his word.

But strange things happen when they’re alone together, and as attraction intensifies, the sparks between them start to feel more physical than fanciful. Soon, she’s haunted by nightmares about a tragic history she couldn’t possibly know, he’s dismissing cryptic visions that suggest he’s somehow met her before, and it’s clear the past, like their otherworldly attraction, cannot be ignored.

If you'd like to check out the first few chapters, they can be found in this google doc

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1S...

And if you'd like to continue reading, please message me through Goodreads or at ellakay1962@gmail.com

Thanks!!


message 8: by Bob (new)

Bob Austin | 21 comments Hi Lillian

I am looking for an avid reader such as yourself to see the latest draft of my second book. It's part of an on-going fantasy series, but it's not necessary to have read the first, part of the feedback I'm looking for is if this book stands on it's own merit.

Magic in a modern era is the tagline. I am attempting to build a world full of vibrant but hopefully relatable characters for the current generation.

Let me know if you are interested and I can send you a copy. I would very much appreciate any feedback you can offer.

Kind Regards,
Bob Austin


message 9: by Jeff (new)

Jeff de León (httpstwittercomjeffhdeleon) | 12 comments Hello! I've really worked hard to try to make sure my YA book is actually enjoyable by a YA audience, so it'd be awesome if you were interested.

For comfort, I can guide you into sending this to a kindle. It is properly formatted and all that. :D

This is a.... third-ish draft of a Science-Fantasy epic that is very close to my heart. I hope the beginning feels very polished and publish-ready, with the last 50 pages being a bit rougher. Shouldn't have major plot holes and I have received feedback that it is an enjoyable read =)

Multi-POV aiming for a tone somewhere between Star Wars and Six of Crows.

Decent amount of romance, seeking opinion on "ships". F/F has the most screentime and M/F with other options hinted at. #OwnVoices in more than one way.

I'm not currently available to swap (got a bunch of Critique Partners), but I have editing slots available for summer if anyone wants to plan to swap then.

Blurb:
Seventeen-year-old Zander’s excitement to marry the formidable Princess Alessia turns to despair when she runs away, unwilling to marry him or any man. Desperate to prove himself worthy of his ancient bloodline, Zander accepts a suicidal mission to hunt down the last of the all-powerful Machine-Gods that once ruled the world.

Meanwhile, hiding beneath the Earth, the Machines have designed two perfect and powerful clones to carry out their plans. Isolated from the rest of humanity, warrior-clone Celene competes against Saniya, the counterpart she desperately loves as they train for war against the free kingdoms of humankind.

On opposite sides, Celene and Zander must find a way to escape the strings that control them before they become the latest victims in a war between immortal kings and ancients machines—a war where love itself is a weapon.


Message me or comment if you're interested. If you end up reading a few paragraphs and not wanting to continue, just be honest and let me know so I can know what lost you =)


message 10: by Seryna (new)

Seryna Asola (seryna_asola) | 14 comments Hi! I am looking for a beta reader for my finished manuscript.

My story: YA/NA Fiction.

Genre: horror, mystery, paranormal (not a romance).

POV & Structure: 3rd person POV.

Word count: ~40k for the moment but I will provide an excerpt.

Violence & triggers: it's a horror story so there are descriptions of ghosts/dead people; no sex scenes.

Plot: A young woman is trying to help her ill friend about a strange and scary situation. In doing so, she stumbles upon an enigmatic man who changes her notion of reality.

If you are interested in providing feedback, please send me a private message or leave a comment so we discuss the details.
I will provide an excerpt on my website and you can tell me whether you liked the story or not. If you did you can either leave a comment or send me a message.

Thank you very much!


message 11: by Richach (new)

Richach | 7 comments Lillian wrote: "Hey all reading this,

I'm a teenage avid reader whose interested in taking on some new books. Beta reading is a really fun experience for me and this is not the first time I've done it.

Some gen..."


Hi Lillian,

I have finished my 64500 word MS. It is a middle grade fantasy that merges into YA. Highly polished easy read with few SPAG errors. I am really interested to know what you may think. Take a look at the link for the first 1300 words. www.thekissingtrees.com


message 12: by Nick (new)

Nick | 27 comments Hi Lillian,

I have a fantasy novel (145k) that I am hoping for a beta to read before I am hopefully able to take it further. I would really appreciate the views of a YA as I appreciate it is longer and more words (ridiculous comment for a book, I know) to fit in that genre. I would be keen to know if it still has an appeal.

Blurb - The White, with its relentless cold and ice, would ravage the land of Arden for the first three years of every five. It was with those ominous snow clouds cresting the mountains of Messemmi, that nine-year-old orphan Priya, and her younger brother Reed, passed into the capital. They unwittingly stepped into a world of poverty and privilege . A world of muskets and swords . A world of ambition and darkness. It was a world in which Priya and Reed would find themselves fighting for both their lives and their freedom. An unfolding battle that would see them at odds with Arden's Emir and his army of Brass. With a lot of luck, and a little magi, it was a world that Priya and Reed were destined to change forever, or die trying.

Please let me know if this is anything you would be interested in reading.

Many thanks


Nick


message 13: by Samantha (new)

Samantha | 28 comments Hi, I am looking for a fresh set of eyes on my YA Fantasy novel. The word count is about 73,000 and this for sure is not the first draft.. not even the third at this point.

Hope to hear from you..

Here is the Blurb.

Worlds Apart

One Door.

Five New Worlds.

Infinite Dangers… And One Love that will make it all worth it.

For Harper, every day is horrible, until the day she stumbles upon a strange door.

Through it, comes the discovery that her world isn’t the only one out there. These new worlds are filled with wondrous magic and daring new adventures. One world, in particular, finds her in the arms of Axel, a boy who pulls at her soul and makes her feel things she never imagined possible. He brings a whole new meaning to love at first sight and Harper finds herself struggling with those feelings, trying to determine if they are real, or the result of some ancient magic she can barely comprehend.

For Axel, his life was all routine until he met Harper. It never crossed his mind that something was missing in his life, but in more ways than one he has become linked to Harper. While she fights their feelings, Axel refuses to believe magic has anything to do with their bond and he will do whatever it takes to protect that connection.

Before Harper met The Guardians, her most stressful responsibility was taking care of herself. Now, she has five worlds depending on her. Together, Axel and she must embark on a journey to save what they cherish the most, including their new found love. A journey filled with enemies bent on breaking them apart and destroying all their worlds.


message 14: by Blake (new)

Blake Rathie | 7 comments Hi Lillian,
No clue if you are still taking on new manuscripts or not, but I have a 74k YA manuscript in its 8th draft. I am looking for my second batch of beta readers, and this time around I would really like some more teens like myself to read it, since they are my core audience.

Okay so here's the pitch:
Dollstone is a small and secluded Australian beach town harbouring a tight-knit religious community which resides within its own little bubble and ignores far more than it should. This town’s hypocrisies will be uncovered.

Just a heads up, maybe this book won’t be for you if you aren’t up for touching the subjects of sex work, suicide, or religion.

This character driven story follows the lives of seven young people in this town.
-Cade, a boy who hates pity more than anything else and values the fresh start that moving to Dollstone has offered.
-Elke, a girl who lost the affection of the town due to the actions of her sister.
-Phin, a high achiever who will stop at no costs to getting the achievements he needs to get his scholarship and ticket out of this town.
-Alexander, an athlete who wants to get strong enough to beat his best friend and step out of his shadow.
-Giorno, a closeted artist who wants to be valued for more than his “God-given” talents.
-Carney, beloved school captain turned sex-worker, finds that the town that once adored her no longer has the patience to hear her attempts of justifying herself; a frustratingly repetitive activity in her life.
-Vic, an angry teen who was adopted by the town’s religious leader out of an act of charity.

Thank you very much, if you are interested then please send me an email at blake.rathie@gmail.com.


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