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Closed for the Winter > Who Would You Do?

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message 1: by RandomAnthony (last edited Mar 17, 2008 04:40PM) (new)

RandomAnthony Ladies and Gentlemen,

It's been a very serious day around axis mundi today. I have in part contributed to that seriousness. I apologize, I'm on vacation, and I need to find something else to do besides post all day. Tomorrow I will post less, I promise.

However, tomorrow is not here yet. In turn, I need to ask a very important question on which the fate of the world revolves. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's a question around which we can hold hands and sing folk songs while we circle a roaring campfire.

Who would you do?

Ok, here are the rules:

1. You can list up to five names.

2. They can be anyone...celebrities, your seventh grade math teacher, your cousin...ok, maybe not your cousin.

3. This is assuming through some magical agreement you could hook up with said individuals without any guilt or moral transgression whatsoever.

Me first!

A. George Clooney...I mean, he's so cute...

Ok, no, I was kidding. Ok, let me start over.

A. Monica Bellucci. I wouldn't be able to talk in her presence. She's that pretty.

B. Kate Hudson. She's like the blonde girl in high school I worshipped from afar.

I want to save my last three. This is too important for rash decision making.

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
1) Natalie Portman… do I really need to explain this one?
2) Marisa Tomei… She was the cause of the 92' brawl between me and my cousin vinny ;)
3) Winona ryder… before she became a thief… I guess I’ll just have to pee in her butt instead.

The last two are going to be tough.

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
Jessica alba is one struggling for the top two

message 4: by Paul (new)

Paul Bryant I'm shocked that no one's listed Charissa yet. Having just seen An American Werewolf in London again, I might make room for Jenny Agutter on this cheesy list.

message 5: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Donald picked six, although one of them was "Clive Owen" so he gets points for stretching his limits.

Ok, I think I'm ready for number three...and both Ms. Portman and Ms. Alba were candidates. But I'm going with Rachel Bilson.

Number four...probably Ziyi Zhang.

I'm saving number five.

message 6: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Niles? Really, Amy? Would you care to explain that one?

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
I sense someone liking to beat her man... eh...ehh...Amy?

message 8: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Yes. Good question. Go back in time at your leisure. Go into the future at your leisure, too.

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
eh... the moderator charissa... are you saying...

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
Be careful donald. I would want you to mentaly sprain something

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
4)Jessica alba
5) The coffee shop girl. I don’t even know her name, but she is always stunning, even at 4:45 am.

shellyindallas 1)David Cross (funny = hot)

2)Bill Murray (funny = hot + swimming scene in lost in translation (yumm!)

3)Casey Affleck (The hot coward who shot Jesse James)

4)Bill Hader (funny = hot)

5)Scarlett Johansson (hottest woman alive)

message 13: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 17, 2008 05:20PM) (new)

1) My left hand.
2) My right hand.
3) Both hands in unison.
4) The pillow.
5) Miss Plastic.

Oh, wait. I thought it was who you actually do. Never mind... Pretend I didn't say that. Nothing to see here.

message 14: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 17, 2008 05:56PM) (new)

Well, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I've studied intensively for many years.

message 15: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Awww!! Paul, that's so sweet!!! wow, I think you kinda made me blush!

I'd say you were sweet too Donald, but clearly there are 7 or 8 other chicks/guys who come ahead of me on your list and, well, you're a mental whore. ; )

I would totally do Russell Crowe. I don't care that he randomly beats the crap out of people, and is probably a terrible drunk, and is probably an arrogant asshole... the man is sex on a stick. Just looking at him makes me ovulate.

I would also totally do Kate Winslet. I have never had sex with a woman before, but there is something about her that just makes me want to go full on lesbo. Even now that she has had kids and all that... she just keeps getting sexier and sexier to me.

There is an ex boyfriend who was the most amazing sex I've had in my life who, through his own complete idiocy, wound up marrying someone else (oh now that is a very long story)... if I had no morals at all I would totally be shagging him senseless as many nights of the week as I could arrange. Ah well, cest la vie, non?

This is going to be really shocking to everyone I'm sure, but I have a cousin who I rarely see that, if I wasn't related to him, I would totally have sex with. There is something about him that just screams to my DNA as being perfect. He looks a lot like my uncle that I loved who died when I was 14 (it's his son), so I'm sure there is something wildly Freudian about it. But there you have it... I'm a freaky complex being, what can I say.

Lastly... well, there's probably one or more of you Goodreaders who occupy a sizeable portion of my current fantasy life. Donald is not the only mental whore in da house. But I'm SO not going to make a list. I will leave that to your adequately overactive imaginations!!! Ha ha ha.

message 16: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Now don't tease me like that Donald...

message 17: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Amy, I think he meant the entire list was "in his dreams" as in... he doesn;t think he has an icecube's chance in hell of actually scoring with any of these women. Which I can hardly believe... I kinda think he'd be an awesome lay. ; )

message 18: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
ah whiskey... my daughter and I went down to the Irish pub in town for some corned beef and cabbage. There was much beer and whiskey being tossed around. Coupled with the bagpipes it made me very nostalgic. I miss being a drunken Irish person.

message 19: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Tracy, Seth is clearly taunting you in hopes that you will melt his a-sexual facade. He's been trolling for cyber sex for weeks now. I think you are just the woman to give it to him. ; )

message 20: by Kelly (new)

Kelly Remember folks: "Always do what you said you'd do drunk while you're sober. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

Perhaps in this group, that could be adapted to "always do /who/ you said you'd do drunk..." so don't make any rash drunken decisions on your fav five fantasy people to sex up!

... in that spirit, I shall comment further on this in the morning!

PS: Charissa, I totally met Russell Crowe last week. He's in DC filming a movie. And then he turned up at the DC Irish fest and sang with one of my favorite bands, Great Big Sea. He has a great growly singing voice. It turned me on and I don't even really get the attractiveness of him. Me-ow.

message 21: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
OMG Kelly OMG!!! Oh I hate you!! whhhaaaaaa!!!! I wanna meet Russell Crowe!!!! Not that he'd have sex with me, of course, but I could just drool on him a little....

message 22: by Michelle (new)

Michelle (ingenting) I'd do Carrot Top.

message 23: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Michelle... ew. I'm sorry... that's just... gross.

message 24: by J (last edited Mar 18, 2008 02:30AM) (new)

J This is a very important question. After a great deal of consideration:

David Boreanaz

Harry Connick jr

Lord Byron

Colin Firth

Robert Burns

message 25: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
J... you named one of my favorite sekrit movie boyfriends: Colin Firth. He's such a dork, but in that smoldery way. So hot!

My best friend is in love with David Boreanaz. She met him once and was unable to form complete sentences in his presence. There is a picture of them together... she looks like her brains fell out and her face caught on fire. It's hysterical.

message 26: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Ok, since J picked Angel, I'm picking Buffy...or Faith...or Willow...or Selita Ebanks...or...Allessandra Ambrosio...

(I know that's more that five, total, but Donald blew the doors off of that guideline about ten minutes after the thread started, so forget the limits...:)

message 27: by RandomAnthony (last edited Mar 18, 2008 05:23AM) (new)

RandomAnthony Oh, I also forgot to mention I'm with King on cute librarians.

Er, I mean, I'm not actually on the librarians with King, that would be weird, and probably a bit uncomfortable...

But a cute, smart, self-possessed librarian does it for me. Especially is she's wearing a plaid skirt. Whew. *fans self*

message 28: by Kelly (new)

Kelly Ha, Charissa- it turns out that he's really nice and down to earth. Russell Crowe that is. At least, when people are buying him drinks. I can't speak to otherwise. But there, more food for the fantasy. :)

Okay, after some consideration, my fav five are:

- Jeremy Northam
- James Purefoy
- James McAvoy
- Nathan Fillion
- annnddd.... trying to commit.. all right, Joshua Bell! I don't care if he is a manwhore, that man can plaaaay his violin. His violin version of Chopin's "Nocturne" is one of the sexiest pieces ever.

PS, also, I was a librarian a few years ago and I own a plaid skirt. Does this make me a fantasy? Oh my!

message 29: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
:::claws at the doors of her house trying to get out to DC where she too can meet the growly voiced and down to earth sex machine that is Russell Crowe:::: ahhhhh... why oh why oh why did I decide to be the mother of a surly teenage girl instead of a global gad-about who had wanton sexual relationships with famous movie people and no good musicians all her life?

message 30: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
also... hey boys, get off the librarian... or at least make room for me.

And step off Anthony, Faith is mine!! : )

message 31: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Kelly, I would wager that there was a significant increase in guys needing help from the librarian when you were around:) However, you probably led more guys to literacy due to your presence. Thank you for doing God's work.

Charissa, we'd have to share Faith. But I get her first.

(buffy trivia coming...nonfans feel free to ignore the next few lines)

Charissa, remember that episode when buffy and faith switched bodies? And faith (inside buffy's body) wore leather pants and hit on Riley? Whew. Faith was hot even when she wasn't in Faith's body. I can't even begin to process the implications of that phenomenon.

message 32: by Kelly (new)

Kelly Well since I worked in the children's portion of the library, no, there was not a significant male increase in people needing my help. Hah, now you feel dirty, don't you???

Meh. Faith was too hard looking for me. I was not into her. I didn't watch that much Buffy though. I didn't find anyone on that show attractive except for that apprentice Watcher they brought in towards the end of series. I don't even remember his name. But he was hot. I like the glasses/buttoned up look. All the better when I mess it up. I also liked Doctor Simon on Firefly (esp when he took off his shirt and revealed himself to be ripped like a greek god underneath his demure polo and sweater look) if this clarifies.

Charissa- hahahaha. Yeah, DC has a handful of celebrities these days. All here shooting State of Play. Apparently Affleck and Crowe have been spotted at a bar next to my work several times. I think its their "place now." Personally, I'd rather see Helen Mirren, who is also here. I have a very short list of women I would do- though I always have one woman crush, but she is on it. Mrrrowl.

message 33: by RandomAnthony (last edited Mar 18, 2008 09:15AM) (new)

RandomAnthony Donald said "Clive Owen" I think. I'd do Brad Pitt in his "Legends of the Fall" phase.

Also, I would happily share any of the ladies on my list with any of the ladies here. It's all in the name of service and courtesy, you know.

The apprentice watcher's name, Kelly, was "Wesley". He and Willow married in real life...I mean outside of the know what I mean:)

Oh, and Kelly? I bet a lot of dads scored points for taking their kids to the library more often when you were a librarian.:)

message 34: by Kelly (new)

Kelly Oh, Anthony! Brad Pitt is such a cop out male answer. Everyone in the world would do Brad Pitt, and many would not kick him out of the bed for eating crackers if you know what I'm sayin'. You're going to have to do better than that! I do not accept that answer!

Thanks! Wesley! Now I can put a name to my vague remembrance of a crush. Well done Willow! We clearly have similiar taste in men.

And bah, I never realized how much cred the librarian thing gave me. Silly me I was more interested in hiding behind a pile of books and reading. I guess I should've been working that game harder. :)

message 35: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Holy crap, Kelly. And I thought I was going out on a limb with Brad Pitt! Ok...let me think...let me think...

Marilyn Manson.

No, just seeing if you're paying attention.

Ok, uh...

Justin Timberlake. Nice abs.

shellyindallas yeah amy, but bag his head with what? a circus tent? that motherfucker's all head. and he's so. f'ing. creepy. plus, who even knows what he's got going on down there? he'd probably get totally naked except for a top hat over his privates, then voila--the big reveal and it's just some bouquet of plastic flowers or something...or better yet, a payphone! and he wants you to dial 1-800-COLLECT

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
RA, my opinion of you just dropped to the floor. You couldn't have picked a more superficial person to give up your man-gina to?

message 38: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony Damn! I'm getting yelled at here because I can't pick the right guy I'd want to do? It's not exactly my EXPERTISE, people! :)

Step up to the plate and let's hear yours, Nick. Who're you gonna say? The Dalai Lama?

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
Well… If I absolutely had to… I don’t know Hitler? I mean If I’m going to get raped it should at lest be memorable…

Hold that thought… a little back story; my wife is obsessed with Project Runway. So every time I am home I see it. There is this little annoying “fierce” guy. I would do him. It wouldn’t be fast, and he wouldn’t enjoy it. That and he looks pretty feminine. I really don’t see what any women sees in any man. Gay women know the goods. Women are beautiful, guys not so much.

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
I was refering to timberlake

message 41: by Kelly (new)

Kelly Its not that Brad Pitt is superficial in and of himself, its just the idea of picking him is. He's one of the hottest men in the world and you know whoever you're talking to is most likely to agree with you.

I do think Timberlake is going out on a limb. You're willing to forgive all those years of 'NSync for a little "SexyBack," action, huh? Well done. :)

message 42: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
I don't think Brad Pitt is hot... at all. I think he's kinda skeezy actually. And too pretty. He totally needs to take it up the ass, preferably by some burly character from Oz.

Nick, you totally crack me up. Hitler?? LMAO!!!! Oh man... that was awesome.

All you boys talking about man love is so getting me hot! Clearly I've read too much gay porn. I've been turned. ; )

Anthony... you SO do NOT get Faith first... you'd get her all sticky. You can watch me with her first and then later you can, you know... finish up. Otherwise, no deal.

:::getting on a plane to go stay with Kelly while filming continues in her city:::::

message 43: by J (new)

J I hate to interrupt the guys. I'm really enjoying their conversation. I have to jump in for a minute and say Giles though. Is it safe to say we all have a thing for librarians?

message 44: by Charissa, That's Ms. Obnoxious Twat to You. (new)

Charissa (dakinigrl) | 3620 comments Mod
Amy... Carrot Top gives me the complete heebe jeebes. There is not a bag large enough in the universe to make that man attractive to me. I'd rather blow George Bush... seriously... he's that horrific to me. Shelly's post was hilarious on this point... and so so true.

I met Giles (Anthony Head)... I totally wanted to jump his bones in the worst way. He is the entire reason I started watching Buffy to begin with. He stood on the stage in a leather jacket and sang something and I went I weak in the knees (like I do over musicians... it's absurd really) and wet in the jeans and that was it... I was lost....

message 45: by Seizure Romero (new)

Seizure Romero | 116 comments "...bag his head with what? a circus tent? that motherfucker's all head."

I'm putting Shelly on the list because that almost made me blow milk out my nose (which is odd, because I'm drinking rum). She'd have to lose the Bill Murray mask though.

Since Monica Bellucci and the female cast from Buffy are getting a little tired right about now (no love for Charisma Carpenter? Like a barn door in the wind, my friends...):

Vera Farmiga, Gina Gershon, Sophie Marceau, 1970's Stevie Nicks. Sela Ward at any age. That should get me through the day. Now, for tomorrow....

message 46: by [deleted user] (new)

Why, Gerts, you gonna "git wit" Vader? Just make sure he stays hooked up to his oxygen tank. (Makes you wonder how he could implement the dark side of the force. If he can strangle Admiral Ozzel from a planet away, the possibilities are, as they say, endless...)

message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

Who is this Monica Bellucci person that everyone is pitching a tent for?

message 48: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 18, 2008 11:58AM) (new)

Huh? That could be Don Imus or even Don Knotts (R.I.P.) under all that armature for all we know... Ich verstehe nicht.

message 49: by RandomAnthony (last edited Mar 18, 2008 12:08PM) (new)

RandomAnthony Wow, Tracy just opened up the entire cartoon/comic universe for fair play...dare we go there? Disney princesses? Superhero/superheroines? Video game people? The mind reels. I just watched some of "Enchanted" and Amy Adams is definitely listworthy.

Monica Bellucci, David:

And King and Nick? You keep picking on me and I'll send my bodyguard Kelly to kick your ass.

*hides behind Kelly*

Servius  Heiner  | 1980 comments Mod
Rebbecca Stamos… Mmmmm, tasty. What was her name in Xmen?

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