Books I Loathed discussion
Do dreadful children's or y/a books exist?
message 1:
by
Kate
(last edited Aug 25, 2016 11:47AM)
(new)
Jul 31, 2007 12:52PM

reply
|
flag

The annual reading of this book in the "candlelight circle" at summer camp is probably why I'm such a horrible person today.
Another terrible children's book is the "sequel" to Goodnight Moon, My World. It's cheap, incoherent, sloppy, and basically just depressing as hell.
LOL, "The annual reading of this book in the "candlelight circle" at summer camp is probably why I'm such a horrible person today." I love it.
I always thought the tree was supposed to be a metaphor for the unconditional love and giving of parents to their children, or, more fittingly, the unconditional love and giving of golden retreivers to their owners. But I get your point. Have never encountered My World.
Oh! I just remembered one: my dad really hated when he had to read us "Curious George" stories, because George would just destroy everything and then freak out and have to be saved by the Man in the Yellow Hat rather than ever learn to be responsible.
I always thought the tree was supposed to be a metaphor for the unconditional love and giving of parents to their children, or, more fittingly, the unconditional love and giving of golden retreivers to their owners. But I get your point. Have never encountered My World.
Oh! I just remembered one: my dad really hated when he had to read us "Curious George" stories, because George would just destroy everything and then freak out and have to be saved by the Man in the Yellow Hat rather than ever learn to be responsible.

"Curious George" as well as "CG gets a job" and "CG gets a medal" are also awful because the Man with the Yellow hat doesn't really care one rotten banana for George beyond what he can gain from him by selling him to the zoo, exploiting him in a movie or basking in his glory when he is threatened into being an experimental monkey for a space flight. Yay! What a great friend and parent-figure! Then there's all the mean people who gloat when he breaks his leg "He had it coming for him" or threaten him "Sure I'll forgive the damage done to the museum dinosaur...as long as you go on this dangerous space mission" etc etc.
I also hate "The Sailor Dog" by Margaret Wise-Brown. It is such a random, rambling, stream-of-consciousness piece 'o' crap that goes on and on and on with absolutely NO EFFING POINT, but my children love it and I find myself hiding it so that I don't have to read it to them. I also hate the "Commander Toad" series of books (full of terrible puns for adults, completely lost on kids) and the "Little Einsteins" books based on the lame TV show.

I think it is easier to list the good children's books is limited to classics like "Where the Wild Things Are" and a select few new works like "Stelleluna."
Anyone who tried to give my son a book by a celebrity was met with scorn. The one exception I found was "Jolly Mon" by Jimmy Buffett. The man writes short stories called songs for a living and this story is a great one.


Oh, and -- my kid is a train fanatic, and madly in love with Thomas the Tank Engine, but I had to ban the books (original and subsequently licensed) from the house, along with the videos. Insipid at best, aggressively nasty at worst.
Oh, I'm so glad you brought up celebrity children's books, Sarah! What is the DEAL? I guess they think, "oh, it's for kids; I have a kid I tell stories to, so that'll be easy." So they cough up some fluff with cutesy character names and then the publisher is thrilled to have a big name to market.
I hereby nominate Madonna as the ultimate offender in the bad celeb children's books genre. I tried reading one and it was sooo preachy. "Let's learn a lesson about inclusion, children. I am Madonna and I condemn all pop culture even though I am a pop culture icon. I don't let my children watch TV and I have always only listened to classical music. Read my bland Kabbalah-inspired children's books, and swoon under my holiness."
I hereby nominate Madonna as the ultimate offender in the bad celeb children's books genre. I tried reading one and it was sooo preachy. "Let's learn a lesson about inclusion, children. I am Madonna and I condemn all pop culture even though I am a pop culture icon. I don't let my children watch TV and I have always only listened to classical music. Read my bland Kabbalah-inspired children's books, and swoon under my holiness."





Funny, I was rushing over here from the Children's Book group to jump on this post and add Cat in the Hat, and now I am thoughtful. On the one hand, I remember a deep and sustained terror of Thing One and Thing Two, and the mounting tension that the parents would come home while the cat was wreaking havok that would be blamed on them made me very uncomfortable.
However, I agree that -- for less sensitive children anyway -- it's a good subversive tale of getting away with stuff while the parents' backs are turned. It's a fantasy for good little girls and boys like the two in the story about being bad, like the Cat. And subversive children's lit is the best kind.
However, I agree that -- for less sensitive children anyway -- it's a good subversive tale of getting away with stuff while the parents' backs are turned. It's a fantasy for good little girls and boys like the two in the story about being bad, like the Cat. And subversive children's lit is the best kind.


However I reserve my Loathie Award for
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume. My abject hatred for this hideous coming of age story stems from the fact that for about two months of my 5th grade year my friends and I were mildly obsessed with this book and read it about half a dozen times each. Then one day we realized that the heroine of the story is just plain dumb. The religions aspects of the book are pretentious and inconclusive, and the parts dealing with coming of age and sexuality simply didn't translate. Who spends that much time obsessing over the periods and breasts of their classmates! I actually remember feeling embarrassed for her!

It's the only kids' book I've disliked for reasons other than "I'm too old to like this stuff anymore."

I wouldn't put real Seuss on a bad list, but I certainly would add all the spin-off junk (especially the movies) that have been marketed with the Seuss label since his death. His widow has made a fortune--and shame on her for doing so.
As for truly horrible recent books,aside from the mass media junk that parents seem to think I should buy for the library (and won't) I'd nominate "Eragon", a complete Star Wars ripoff with the serial numbers filed off and the names changed. And among this year's duds, the "Fairy Chronicles" a dreadful self-published set that will sell millions now that they have pretty packages and beautiful cover art.
I never read them, but it always seemed to me that Sweet Valley High was 'bad'...

To comment on Erika's post. This is embarrassing but I used to own all of the Sweet Valley High books and loved them. I have grown up since then.:)




oh, yeah, i don't really like the david books- but it's just because his teeth are so sharp.
my husband and kids love the pigeon books. i don't loath them. i just don't get them.

Meghan and Shoshanapnw, I thought there was something wrong with me when I didn't like Inkheart! I wonder if it's in the translation. It just seemed insipid and somehow... lazy? I was still thinking of trying Thief Lord but now I shall not. Thanks!
Re: the "Giving Tree" hating thread, I remember one episode of the Simpsons where, in the opening credits, Bart is writing "The Giving Tree is a chump" on the blackboard. Sums it up for me. Silverstein was best at poetry, but even then I'm not too crazy about him. Although he gets mad props for writing "A Boy Named Sue" and "25 Minutes to Go" for Johnny Cash!
Terrible, horrible YA books:
Gossip Girls, It Girl, The Clique, Melissa De La Cruz, "Rainbow Party" by Paul Ruditis (not even going there), "Don't Kill the Freshman," "Jonathan Livingston Seagull," "The Last Battle." I also have a theory that Lemony Snicket totally ripped off Joan Aiken, even though A Series of Unfortunate Events isn't too bad.
Terrible, horrible early reader/ picture books:
Robert Munsch (yechh); celebrity books (nooooo); "Eloise" and the endless parade of little-rich-girls-and-their-dogs books which came afterwards; the endless parade of shallow "series" books where authors have one respectable best-selling title and follow that up with four or five or six more knock-offs for $$$$. That also goes for YA authors.
For those trying to find a less-potty-humorish alternative to Dav Pilkey but need something funny, I'd suggest Louis Sachar's "Wayside School" series or my personal favorite, DANIEL PINKWATER!
Terrible, horrible YA books:
Gossip Girls, It Girl, The Clique, Melissa De La Cruz, "Rainbow Party" by Paul Ruditis (not even going there), "Don't Kill the Freshman," "Jonathan Livingston Seagull," "The Last Battle." I also have a theory that Lemony Snicket totally ripped off Joan Aiken, even though A Series of Unfortunate Events isn't too bad.
Terrible, horrible early reader/ picture books:
Robert Munsch (yechh); celebrity books (nooooo); "Eloise" and the endless parade of little-rich-girls-and-their-dogs books which came afterwards; the endless parade of shallow "series" books where authors have one respectable best-selling title and follow that up with four or five or six more knock-offs for $$$$. That also goes for YA authors.
For those trying to find a less-potty-humorish alternative to Dav Pilkey but need something funny, I'd suggest Louis Sachar's "Wayside School" series or my personal favorite, DANIEL PINKWATER!


http://spiltmilkblog.blogspot.com/200...
I recently posted about the book Return to the Secret Garden by Susan Moody, which is sometimes marketed to the young adult crowd. I've been urged never to read this book by people who loved the original children's story by Frances Hodgson Burnett. If you check out the reviews to the sequel on Amazon, though, I think this qualifies for another loathesome kidlit book.
Oh, and in the realm of wonderful books written by celebrities, check out Julie Andrews's Mandy and The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles. These books have tremendous literary merit. I just love them...and Dame Julie!



That said, the Oompa Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory still freak me out, even as a grown up...

Books like Gail Carson Levine's Fairy Dust and the Quest for the Egg, Hiwayn Owen's The Giant's Surprise: A Narnia Story, Flavia Bujor's The Prophecy of Stones and Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Series.

Babar
Swimmy
Leo the Late Bloomer
I pay no attention to the non-classics like Madonna's books because they are here today, garage sale tomorrow!
I always thought The Giving Tree represented the unconditional love many parents have for their children. And I also think of it more as a book for adults than for children.




I have to disagree with Izzy though: I adore the Junie B. books. They never fail to make me laugh; I suspect I relate a little too closely with Junie B. Can I ask what it is, exactly, that rubs you the wrong way? Having little imagination, I often have trouble getting outside my box (does that make sense?); it's not that I don't want to, I just can't see HOW to.
Cat In the Hat always creeped me out, too. Thing One and Thing Two are so out of control and unpredictable, that made me nervous as a kid; also, at the end, the kids lied to their mom (though I only noticed that as a grown-up).
While I liked "Are You There God" as a pre-teen, I, too, have always wondered who, exactly, waits impatiently (obsessively) for their period to come? Maybe because I was a late-bloomer, but the arrival of my "curse" was more of a non-event than anything. The whole "womanhood" still leaves me scratching my head...I'm 39, and I feel like a "chick"; my mother's a WOMAN, you know?
Anyway, this is a fun group! Glad to have found you :)
Welcome, Recynd!
Judy Blume ALWAYS made me uncomfortable. And I know that's supposedly what makes her a great author, but it turned me off to her books when I was younger. They almost hit TOO close to home or something. (Though I confess I never read Are You There God?, which seems like it wouldn't have had that effect, since I wasn't sitting around waiting for my period either.)
Judy Blume ALWAYS made me uncomfortable. And I know that's supposedly what makes her a great author, but it turned me off to her books when I was younger. They almost hit TOO close to home or something. (Though I confess I never read Are You There God?, which seems like it wouldn't have had that effect, since I wasn't sitting around waiting for my period either.)



Also, basically every Disney Princess book out there, simply because they always end with a version of "and then she got married, and that's the end," because of course, marriage is all a girl needs, and once you're married your life is pretty much over. (The originals are not always a prize either, I remember my daughter's shock when we read the original Andersen version of "The Little Mermaid" which ends with 'and then the prince marries someone else and the Little Mermaid dies.' Ok, good night honey!)
Oh and - so glad to have found this group!

And how about Andersen's Little Match Girl? Yikes!
Yet, the old stories are somehow more appealing than today's watered-down versions.

I'm also not a fan of "Frederick" by Leo Leonni, which is about an artsy mouse who sits around dreaming, collecting words and colors while all the other mice collect grain for winter. When the grain runs out and everyone's starving, Frederick feeds everyone's souls instead, with his poetry. I've thought since I was little that if Frederick had helped his family collect grain, then they could have had another week to eat before the food ran out. Frederick could have written poetry and collected grain at the same time. He could have written poetry about collecting grain.

These tales captured me and caused me all sorts of tortuous child-age-based reactions to their often gruesome endings. Funny thing, since then, Disney has been happy-ending many tales, including the Little Mermaid. I haven't jumped on board.
Rather I long for those sordid awful tales of things going awfully wrong, or strangely right, depending on whatever weird moral was being presented.
Disney's all good ending if only you're good is simply tedious and boring and not like the real world at all. Life will bash you whether you're good or not! Grimm is like a hail to the mother-in-law's cast iron frying pan smash, which'll get you when you least expect it!

