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Readers > The difference between Romantic, Steamy and Erotic scenes in Writing

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message 1: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments Hi guys, my name is Esther and I am a content creator for writers and a Paranormal Romance author myself. The reason why I'm here today is to ask you, readers and writers alike about your reading preferences involving:

- romantic scenes
- steamy scenes
- erotic scenes

... in the novels of your choice. I just wrote an article on the matter: https://estherrabbit.com/romantic-ste... with examples of each (be warned, explicit content).

But I'd like to take it a step further and write another article involving the ones who would like to take part in this little survey. I'd like to know where you draw the line between steamy and erotic and if reading such scenes provides an enjoyable reading experience for you.

Naturally, do let me know if I have your permission to quote you in my upcoming article with your Goodreads name or if you wish to remain anonymous. Happy Monday everyone!


message 2: by Trish (new)

Trish R. | 21 comments To me, steamy is good, as long as it doesn't have the word "pussy" to describe a woman's private part. I have no idea why but I find that word disgusting. It's like the author is working on not writing erotic but still a little dirty.

Erotic is just dirty and pain-filled sex. Once you get into BDSM I'm done. But, that's just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.

Over all, I prefer romantic sex. (Boring, I know.)


message 3: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments Trish wrote: "To me, steamy is good, as long as it doesn't have the word "pussy" to describe a woman's private part. I have no idea why but I find that word disgusting. It's like the author is working on not wri..."

Thanks Trish, I'm right there with you! Do I have your permission to quote you in my upcoming article?


message 4: by Trish (new)

Trish R. | 21 comments Esther wrote: "Trish wrote: "To me, steamy is good, as long as it doesn't have the word "pussy" to describe a woman's private part. I have no idea why but I find that word disgusting. It's like the author is work..."

Sure, Esther, you can quote me anytime.


message 5: by Candace (new)

Candace | 4 comments HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse. There is only kissing and touching. Steamy is when there is intercourse with descriptive words or phrases for "pussy" and "dick." Erotica is when there are the blunt words for the human anatomy - pussy, cunt, dick, cock - and sexual coupling. I look forward to reading your next article.


message 6: by Trish (last edited Apr 04, 2019 11:23AM) (new)

Trish R. | 21 comments Candace wrote: "HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse. There is only kissing and touching. Steamy is..."

Candace, is the definition of romantic, steamy and erotic sex written somewhere? I'd love to read it, if there is. I'd like to know whose written word I'm disagreeing with. Thanks!


message 7: by Candace (new)

Candace | 4 comments Trish wrote: "Candace wrote: "HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse. There is only kissing and tou..."

Hi Trish! Sorry to offend you. I just read Esther's article she gave a link to in her introduction to this thread. The above comments of mine is my personal, humble opinion on how I determine the difference between romantic, steamy and erotica.


message 8: by Trish (new)

Trish R. | 21 comments Candace wrote: "Trish wrote: "Candace wrote: "HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse. There is only k..."

Ahh, I see. So, OUR opinions differ. And I wasn't offended. I thought it was written somewhere. You didn't mentioned that it was your opinion. Thanks for letting me know.


message 9: by Candace (new)

Candace | 4 comments Trish wrote: "Candace wrote: "Trish wrote: "Candace wrote: "HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse...."

Trish, I thought I had made that plain. Sorry for not stating my opinion in words more clearly.


message 10: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments Candace wrote: "HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse. There is only kissing and touching. Steamy is..."

Thanks, Candace, this really means a lot to me :)


message 11: by Candace (new)

Candace | 4 comments Esther wrote: "Candace wrote: "HI Esther! I enjoyed reading your article. In my reviews I sometime note whether a book is steamy or erotica. Romantic is when there is no intercourse. There is only kissing and tou..."

You're welcome, Esther. Glad I could help. The comments are my opinions for when I review books.


message 12: by Jenn (new)

Jenn | 7 comments To me I prefer Romantic scenes with a little bit of steam. A lot of steamy scenes and erotica are total turn offs for me. I don’t like descriptive sex scenes, rather focus more on the story.


message 13: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments That's so true. I love YA, young love, all the flutters and I love NA with well written steamy scenes as well. Although Erotica isn't my usual go to genre, I have to admit some authors do an absolutely awesome job describing the motion of the ocean.


message 14: by Jenn (new)

Jenn | 7 comments I’ve been reading a lot of YA and it’s become one of my favorite genres. I agree, there are some authors who do a great job describing scenes it’s just not for me.


message 15: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments Kathy wrote: "Hi Esther!

I read 99% erotica. I used to be a chick lit, romance reader. I got bored and gave up on that. It was too vanilla for my current tastes in reading. For me, erotica is where it is at. Th..."


You go girl! If you have any recommendations, I'l love to hear :)


message 16: by Laran (new)

Laran Mithras I write naughty romances in the erotica genre. Those three terms take on whole different meanings to me, but in my genre they mean:

Romantic scenes: sex where a strong love emotion is prevalent (and the descriptions are heavily emotional and interior)
Steamy scenes: Lust-driven sex where physical needs must be met - can touch into emotional
Erotic scenes: sex that veers into naughty, or kink. Lots of physically descriptive usage.

On the subject of "pussy," I remember using "vagina" and "penis" when I wrote my first erotica novellas. My editor laughed me out of the room. So, cock and pussy it was. However, I also find a distinct distaste for the word "cunt" no matter how historical. When I read descriptions like "love nest" or "missile," I just close out in a fit of giggles.


message 17: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments Laran wrote: "I write naughty romances in the erotica genre. Those three terms take on whole different meanings to me, but in my genre they mean:

Romantic scenes: sex where a strong love emotion is prevalent (a..."


That's so cool, I have always wanted to interview an erotica writer. Would you do me the honor?


message 18: by Laran (new)

Laran Mithras Sure. Sounds like fun.


message 19: by Esther (new)

Esther Rabbit | 47 comments Yaay! Very excited! I just PMd you


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