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Footnotes 2017-2018 > What you all have been waiting-Short List of Bad Sex Award

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message 1: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments OMG-I just could not resist sharing after the conversation a month or so agohttps://www.theguardian.com/books/201... are BAD!!!🤣


message 2: by Nicole R (new)

Nicole R (drnicoler) | 7759 comments I just read these over breakfast and was laughing out loud. People probably thought I was crazy! Lol


message 3: by Booknblues (new)

Booknblues | 5793 comments Really, really bad! By Kismet, I had all I could take.


message 4: by annapi (new)

annapi | 4986 comments Uh-oh, the link does not work.


message 5: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments annapi wrote: "Uh-oh, the link does not work."

darn it was working! Maybe they have a limit how many times it can be clicked on
here it is again https://www.theguardian.com/books/201...


message 6: by Booknblues (last edited Dec 01, 2018 09:31AM) (new)

Booknblues | 5793 comments annapi wrote: "Uh-oh, the link does not work."
I ended up doing a search for it and found it that way.

Let me know if this one works:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/201...

If not do a search for the bad sex award for 2018


message 7: by annapi (last edited Dec 01, 2018 09:40AM) (new)

annapi | 4986 comments Thanks, Book, the link worked. Joanne's too - I think Joanne that it was because there was no space separating the link with the previous word, so it became agohttps...

OMG, how does one shuffle one's head...?

Did you see in the Literary Review that the winner will be announced Dec 3?


message 8: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments annapi wrote: "Thanks, Book, the link worked.

OMG, how does one shuffle one's head...?

Did you see in the Literary Review that the winner will be announced Dec 3?"


Well I am waiting with bated breath!🤣


message 9: by KateNZ (new)

KateNZ | 2339 comments OMG I love this award! Very worthy contenders this year - I’m just glad I wasn’t drinking coffee ...


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

These are so funny! And all the authors are men lol!


message 11: by Susie (new)

Susie | 4488 comments *snort laugh*

Empty my tanks?! Haha! And Murakami, what are you doing?????


message 12: by Nicole R (new)

Nicole R (drnicoler) | 7759 comments They are all men this year, but women are guilty of it too.

My current cheesy Christmas romance female author seems to prefer the term "internal muscles."

She has used that phrase three times.


message 13: by Booknblues (new)

Booknblues | 5793 comments Susie wrote: "*snort laugh*

Empty my tanks?! Haha! And Murakami, what are you doing?????"


Murakami was astoundingly bad. I was surprised by it and it really pushed me to my limit.


message 14: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments Nicole R wrote: "They are all men this year, but women are guilty of it too.

My current cheesy Christmas romance female author seems to prefer the term "internal muscles."

She has used that phrase three times."


Ok now I *snort laugh*-I have to tell you Nicole, My library(where I volunteer) was setting up for our Christmas Book Sale Yesterday, and I opened up entire romance box of boooks that had "Cowboy Christmas" Themes-thought of you!


message 15: by Nicole R (new)

Nicole R (drnicoler) | 7759 comments THERE ARE ENOUGH COWBOY THEMED CHRISTMAS BOOKS TO FILL A BOX?!?

I need to get reading!!

I am reading one now but only have one other cowboy themed one. It is confusingly titled “Cowboy SEAL Christmas”! Two overly testosteroned male occupations rolled up in one undoubtedly gorgeous main male character?! Be still my heart.


message 16: by KateNZ (new)

KateNZ | 2339 comments Oh the serendipity, Joanne!


message 17: by Karin (last edited Dec 01, 2018 12:46PM) (new)

Karin | 7018 comments "Empty my tanks"???? Is this for real?

I didn't read much as I don't even read this stuff when it's well written.


message 18: by Joanne (last edited Dec 01, 2018 01:09PM) (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments Nicole R wrote: "THERE ARE ENOUGH COWBOY THEMED CHRISTMAS BOOKS TO FILL A BOX?!?

I need to get reading!!

I am reading one now but only have one other cowboy themed one. It is confusingly titled “Cowboy SEAL Chr..."


Tomorrow we close up the sale-I will see what is left and perhaps send you an early christmas gift-------the covers on some of them were, putting it gently, "soft-pornish"😁🎅🎅

Oh, just to note-we use banana boxes 🤣🤣🤣


message 19: by Rachel N. (new)

Rachel N. | 1472 comments OMG those were horrendous. The gobstopper comparison was truly ridiculous. Thanks for the laugh :-)


message 20: by Tracy (new)

Tracy (tstan) | 1197 comments Bwahahaha! My favorite was the guy who realized he had had a nipple in his mouth before - Freud would have fun with that one!


message 21: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments I love Murakami books, but I'm not at all surprised he made the list. I remember being startled that Kafka on the Shore could be so beautifully written... except for the parts that dealt with sex, even indirectly.

I simply love this award though, so it's okay Murakami, you can be bad at the erotic side of things.

That Woodward one though... please don't make me think of babies when writing a sex scene, even indirectly. I don't wanna hear that he wanted to "cry like a baby" during that. It doesn't matter that it's a common phrase.


message 22: by KateNZ (new)

KateNZ | 2339 comments "Nicole R wrote: "THERE ARE ENOUGH COWBOY THEMED CHRISTMAS BOOKS TO FILL A BOX?!?

Joanne wrote: Oh, just to note-we use banana boxes ..."


Rolling. On. The. Floor.

I love this group so much


message 23: by Critterbee❇ (new)

Critterbee❇ (critterbee) | 418 comments I can't. Is that really what goes through men's minds? I Just Can't.


message 24: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Critterbee❇ wrote: "I can't. Is that really what goes through men's minds? I Just Can't."

Oh trust me. I've read worse by women.


message 25: by Anita (new)

Anita Pomerantz | 6437 comments Joanne wrote: "OMG-I just could not resist sharing after the conversation a month or so agohttps://www.theguardian.com/books/201... are BAD!!!🤣"

Ha HA HA HA, OMG. Thank you for the laugh. I have to say that for me, the grand prize definitely goes to:

Scoundrels: The Hunt for Hansclapp

Murakami's was vaguely ridiculous. She slept through THAT.

I felt Wall was perhaps unfairly maligned. Seemed like he was describing an initial awkward and oh-no-so-great encounter, and it wasn't really designed to titillate, but to tell you something about the character.

Thanks so much for sharing this - - so so fun.


message 26: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Anita wrote: "Joanne wrote: "OMG-I just could not resist sharing after the conversation a month or so agohttps://www.theguardian.com/books/201... are..."

I agree with you on Wall's passage, Anita! It definitely seems like it's supposed to be the awkward inner monologue of a character losing their virginity, someone who is just taking it all in, without the experience to think about it truly erotically.

Although, is anyone else irrationally irritated with Frey's lazy punctuation?


message 27: by Critterbee❇ (new)

Critterbee❇ (critterbee) | 418 comments With Murakami being all magical realism, I can imagine how that would fit into the vibe of his stories.


message 28: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Critterbee❇ wrote: "With Murakami being all magical realism, I can imagine how that would fit into the vibe of his stories."

Oh yeah, I agree with that. It certainly would fit his general tone. All of his sex scenes (that I've read so far) seem awkward though, even within the framework of his bizarre tales!


message 29: by Critterbee❇ (new)

Critterbee❇ (critterbee) | 418 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "Critterbee❇ wrote: "With Murakami being all magical realism, I can imagine how that would fit into the vibe of his stories."

Oh yeah, I agree with that. It certainly would fit his general tone. All of his sex scenes (that I've read so far) seem awkward though, even within the framework of his bizarre tales!"


Bizarre, and creepy!


message 30: by Book Concierge (new)

Book Concierge (tessabookconcierge) | 5813 comments OMG ... thanks for a great big belly laugh! (That had my husband .. who's in the basement, while I'm on the second floor ... yelling out "What going on!?!")


message 31: by Joanne (last edited Dec 02, 2018 12:22PM) (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments Ok Nicole-back from cleaning up at the library-I grabbedHis Holiday Matchmaker (not cowboy-sorry) AND The Cowboy's Christmas Baby

Will gladly mail them to you id you want to message me your address


message 32: by annapi (new)

annapi | 4986 comments My vote goes to Scoundrels too! The "ratchet" and "enamelled pepper mill" were just too much!


message 33: by Nicole R (new)

Nicole R (drnicoler) | 7759 comments Joanne, that is so generous of you, thank you! I will PM you my address.


message 34: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7505 comments Nicole R wrote: "Joanne, that is so generous of you, thank you! I will PM you my address."

No problem we just give them away to Salvation Army after any sale is done-we get so many books donated it would be impossible to keep them all! Glad I found a home for them


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