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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Sci-fi/Fantasy Query Help

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message 1: by Zhanae (new)

Zhanae Johnson | 18 comments Hi all! This is the very first query that I have written after doing as much research as I could on how to struture one and what to include. I was hoping to get some feedback on it, especially the blurb portion (I struggle the most with summaries). Also, how would I word a sentence explaining that I am submitting to multiple agents simultaneously? Thanks in advance to anyone who can help.

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Dear [...]

I am currently seeking representation for my novel SYNESTHESIA, a story about a young mutant who agrees to run surveillance on his peers for a company profiting of his kind. It is complete at 81,457 words. I read that you were a fan of science fiction shows like Fringe and OA and one of your favorite books is Unwind, so I think that this would be a good fit for your list.

A tastemaker for the needs of the wealthy elite, for years Aegis Institute has led the way in the creation of designer babies. Mediums are promised into unions with privileged benefactors who are eager to make use of their special abilities when they come of age.

Raised under Aegis Institute, Mediums believe they were created to serve a higher authority. To be subordinate. Those that don’t, refuse to be controlled. Aegis enlists Drexton, a straight-laced telepath & former student, in hopes to weed out a defiant sect of students but he has a crisis of conscience when he falls recklessly in love and becomes dangerously entangled in the lives of the very individuals he is sent to spy on.

But with rumors of the Medium Liberation Front, a militant group praying on the downfall of Aegis, spreading like wildfire, Drexton is forced to confront his blind trust in Aegis. As the rift in his loyalty deepens he knows he must choose a side: the exploitative system he was raised in or a underground organization looking to free others like him.

My book is written in first-person from the perspective of an African American male protagonist in an oppressive institution. While I am a female, I write through the lens of a Black person living in America, skewering identity, autonomy, and exploitation. I have enclosed the first ten pages of my manuscript. Thank you for your consideration.


message 2: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1171 comments I'm not sold on your blurb. I think you have too much backstory. You're half way before you even introduce the MC and I had to reread it to figure out who it was.

Unless you're focusing on racism in the future, I'm not sure that mentioning the race of your MC or your own is that relevant. It might even be detrimental. Particularly in scifi, though to a lesser extent today, male or gender neutral names tend to sell more, for better or worse, than female names. I personally think, unless you're specifically targeting agents/publishers mentioning a desire for diverse authors, you're better off letting your words stand on their own. If they like your MS and are in talks to sign you, then you can consider mentioning your gender and race.

Technically, you need a section of 'comps,' or comparable books. Basically, where you think your book should be shelved in a bookstore. Well-known, but not famous.

There are absolutely no issues with querying multiple agents. However, if they ask for your MS, they generally want to have an exclusive period. If you get that far, it's best to put hard limits on that exclusive period, as generally another agent won't bother reading your MS if someone has it already. Querying publishers can be different and you should check their requirements closely.

Good luck!


message 3: by Zhanae (new)

Zhanae Johnson | 18 comments Okay thanks I appreciate it. I know a bio section is suppose to go at the end but I don't have any relevant award or writing credits to my name which is why I felt compelled to end the letter by talking about themes, etc. Would it be more appropriate to put comp titles there at the end?


message 4: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1171 comments Comp titles are there to help the agent understand better where you think your story fits. Genre (e.g., scifi) is generally too limited to give complete enough information.

The bio section is valuable if there's something about you that can help sell books. Other than that, it becomes totally random. If you mention you went to the same school the agent went to, that might get you an MS request. That level of research (which borders on stalking) is very time consuming, so few people do that much.

If you have any sort of connection with the agent, you want to lead with that. You met them somewhere, a client of their suggested you contact them, etc. Even if you attended a lecture of theirs. Their decision will be made exclusively about your writing, but in order for them to evaluate your writing, they have to make the time to read it, and who knows what might be that spark. Which is why I suggest you leave out your gender/race, unless you think that's going to help. For instance, if the agent you're targeting is a female African American, then I think you'd be well served to leave that bit in. It's important to realize, though, that while the vast majority of agents are white women, the vast majority published authors are white men. Just because an agent is a female African American doesn't automatically mean you'll get extra consideration.

It's hard to get agents to read your MS; they spend 5-10 seconds on a typical query. A good agent will get 500 or so queries each week and might select one a month for an MS request. While being rejected (which in most cases is simply not hearing any answer back) certainly sucks, never take it personally because you're competing against huge odds just to get the 30-60 seconds for them to read your query all the way through.


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