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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Guys you have got to read this funny story!!!!!

A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall.

By Shannon Popkin

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.

People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year- old.

And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked. There have been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:

''Mommy, are you gonna go potty?

Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy?

Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now?

Mommy, what are you doing?

Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?''

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued: ''Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you?

Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy!

Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty?

Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ...

Mommy!

I'm trying to see In dere.

Oh! I see dem.

Dat is a very good girl, Mommy.

You are gonna get some candy!''

heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me.

Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ''Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy.

We'll

both have some!''

''No, I'm trying to see doze stinkies"

"Oh! Mommy!'' He started to gag at this point.

''Uh - oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up.

Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!!

Dat is so gross!!''

As the gags became louder, so did the

chuckles outside my stall.. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with

myself: OK. There are four other toilets.

If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

''Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now?

I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!''

He grunted as he tried to pull me off Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

''Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy?

You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at? Mommy?

You wooking at the wady's feet?''

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

''Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now.

We have to go out now, Mommy.''

He started pounding on the door. ''Mommy,

don't you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!''

I saw that my wait 'em out' plan was

unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and

starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment,

then I

thought, where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.




message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

THAT IS SO FUNNY!!!


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

I know!


message 4: by Amy (new)

Amy Petersen | 8 comments haha thats hilarious!


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

I love that story!


message 6: by Chloe (new)

Chloe  | 25 comments I just peed my pants. this is probably one of the funniest things I've ever read. in my life.

:)


message 7: by Ellen (new)

Ellen (thellenator) | 227 comments THAT STORY IS HILARIOUS!


xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) ok


message 9: by Ellen (new)

Ellen (thellenator) | 227 comments IT IS....


message 10: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) IK!!!


message 11: by Ellen (new)

Ellen (thellenator) | 227 comments YESH:)


message 12: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) ^-^


message 13: by Ellen (new)

Ellen (thellenator) | 227 comments yay!!!!


message 14: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) ^.^


message 15: by Ellen (new)

Ellen (thellenator) | 227 comments OOHEEHOOHAHAHTINGTANGWALLAWALLABINGBANG!!!!


message 16: by [deleted user] (last edited Sep 05, 2009 03:30PM) (new)

ummm... not quite sure what to say to that. :-/


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

I say Happy Halloween! Any ideas what you're going to be yet guys?


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

a pioneer


message 19: by Lindsay (new)

Lindsay I don't know what I'll be... I probably won't be anything special. This was me two years ago!!

toff cosplay Pictures, Images and Photos

Oh, sorry... This isn't the picture discussion, but I want you to know what I looked like! My sister photo shopped the rocks into the picture. It's my Toph cosplay back from when I was obsessed with Avatar! It was an awesome costume... Too bad it doesn't fit anymore.


message 20: by Lindsay (new)

Lindsay I took special care to make sure that the pictures my sister put up on the internet didn't show my face or anything. I don't want any creepers finding me... That would be scary.


message 21: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) kool!!!!!


message 22: by [deleted user] (new)

Lindsay wrote: "I took special care to make sure that the pictures my sister put up on the internet didn't show my face or anything. I don't want any creepers finding me... That would be scary. "

Creepers? Creepy.


message 23: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) i made a place 2 mke ur character.


message 24: by [deleted user] (new)

what character? oh role plays. duh. not sure how to start. thats why i wanted some else to start. but thx!


message 25: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) uh huh


message 26: by Lindsay (new)

Lindsay FMA OTAKU***DAUGHTER of POSEIDON*** wrote: "kool!!!!!"

Thanks! :D


message 27: by Lindsay (new)

Lindsay Lexi wrote: "Lindsay wrote: "I took special care to make sure that the pictures my sister put up on the internet didn't show my face or anything. I don't want any creepers finding me... That would be scary. "
..."


Yes, very creepy. But I don't have to worry about that because I am awesome. :P


message 28: by xXRossiya AruXx (new)

xXRossiya AruXx (biggestanimegeek) ^-^


message 29: by [deleted user] (new)

I am gonna be a pirate for the fourth year in a row lol.

Creepers? Well i hope i dont get creepers.


message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

Hey guys who started this group? Just curious. they did a great job i wasn't gonna join any groups but my freind Lexi found this one and i joined and its really great.


message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Yes, yes it is. *smiles*


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

lol


message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

FMA please post your pictures in the Pic discussion Lindasy you are fine just please don't do it again.


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