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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Blurb for dystopian/thriller novel

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message 1: by T.A. (last edited Aug 14, 2018 03:25PM) (new)

T.A. (tahernandez) Could I get some feedback on this, please? It's the third book in a series, so hopefully it's not too confusing, but I just want to make sure it flows well and captures interest.
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After spending more than eight months in prison, former PEACE Project assassin Zira returns to a world vastly different from the one she left after the rebellion. A new Republic now governs America, paving the way for the restoration of democracy. But the nation’s transition has not been an easy one, and tensions continue to rise as some call for the return of the Project.

Zira's only goal is to find her place in this new world, but with her best friend Tripp battling a debilitating addiction and no resources of her own to help him, she reluctantly accepts aid from her former partner—and former adversary—Jared.

With so much at stake on a personal level, the larger challenges facing the nation as a whole are of little concern to Zira…that is, until an old ally asks for her help in the hopes that she will be able to find answers others cannot. Before long, Zira, Jared, and Tripp are all drawn into the fight against a ruthless terrorist group who will stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Their own lives—and the fate of the Republic—may depend on their success.


message 2: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1167 comments On the whole, I like it. I don't feel like I need to read the earlier ones to enjoy this one. It's a little long at 197 words, and could probably do with some more white space, but I don't feel like there's anything fatal with it.

If you decide to tighten it up, you could go with explaining less. I feel like you're trying a little too hard to provide backstory when it's not needed. As long as readers can enjoy it standalone, then they can learn the backstory as they read.

Here's my attempt at trimming, 121 words:


Zira, former PEACE Project assassin, returns to society after eight months in prison. The enemy she fought against, and lost to, showed mercy; now she just wants to put her past behind her.

Her friend Tripp has his own demons to battle and the only help is from former partner-turned-adversary Jared.

With so much at stake on a personal level, the challenges facing the nascent nation are of little concern to Zira... until an old ally asks for her help, knowing her unique skills may succeed where others have failed. Zira, Jared, and Tripp are drawn into a fight against a ruthless terrorist group. Their own lives, as well as the fate of the Republic, depend on their success.


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