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Critique Partners and Swaps > 73k Fantasy Beta Swap

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message 1: by Stephan (new)

Stephan Hahn | 14 comments Hey! I just finished my first novel and am looking for some feedback. I would love to swap fantasy stories with someone. Let me know if you are interested.

Estolas, heir to the throne is realizing that many of the strange things happening in the Kingdom of Delborish seem to be connected to the legend of the Pearls of Solus. The fabled pearls are said to give ultimate power to the one who unites them. After the disappearance of his father, eleven years earlier, the questions he begins to ask, begin to bring about answers he may not be ready for.

As his journey becomes intertwined with that of a nymph, an elf, and a wolf, all searching for their own place in the world, their ability to work together becomes crucial to their success in finding the pearls.

Unfortunately they are not the only one looking for them.


message 2: by Lydia (new)

Lydia Redwine | 27 comments Hi, Stephan! Your story seems interesting and stimulating! I am also looking for someone to swap with, and your story seems like one I'd like to read. My story, however, is the second in the series which means the first one would have to be read. I know that could kill a swap, but if you're interested here is the premise of the first, already published book. It's a YA dark fantasy at 112k. And the second is around 160k.

When a Royal dies, the realms elect the one to take their place. By reasons Camaria does not know, her realm elects her as the next Royal. Now that she is the new-found sixteenth Royal of the nation of Mirabelle, Cam embarks on a journey with her sisters and a young huntsman to the four realms of the nation to complete training in the four kinds of magic. Once she has completed this training, she will then be permitted to consume her annual amount of magic and possess manifested powers. Her ventures are unexpectedly steeped in precarious events when Cam discovers a secret plan of revolt, a past she never knew, and an ancient people group thought dead who call themselves the Spirit Followers.


message 3: by Stephan (new)

Stephan Hahn | 14 comments Is it possible to read the second as a stand alone, from purely a critiquing standpoint? It does sound interesting, and if not, I will have to check back with you after I read the first one.


message 4: by Jena (new)

Jena J | 2 comments This sounds very interesting, if you need someone else to swap with I'd be more than willing to.

My blurb is still a work in progress. This is my first piece I've actually completed (still on first round of edits) but any help is great if you have time :)
~80k

Book: The Kara Pendragon Chronicles: Descendant of a Hero



Kara is a Senior in high school who, with a tom boy attitude, spends most of her free time fixing up old cars or at a racetrack. On her way to the homecoming dance her and her boyfriend, Ricky, get side swiped by a semi. She awakes to find that her boyfriend has passed away and due to her injuries she had to be put into a coma. The night she gets out of the hospital a strange feeling comes over Kara, she blacks out and wakes up in a strange cottage owned by an old and frail woman. When the old woman's guests arrive they tell Kara that she is not just some 20 year old girl, but that she is actually the daughter of Arthur Pendragon and heir to Camelot. With the knowledge of a missing father and a Sorcerer whose darkness has spread over the land of Obsidian, Kara must travel with her new allies to a new realm where creatures she only read in fantasy novels existed. She must stop the darkness and rid of the Sorcerer before its to late.


message 5: by Lydia (new)

Lydia Redwine | 27 comments Stephan wrote: "Is it possible to read the second as a stand alone, from purely a critiquing standpoint? It does sound interesting, and if not, I will have to check back with you after I read the first one."

Yes! I doubt it being the second will hinder the reading experience much. I can always give you a rundown of the first book if you run into confusion.


message 6: by Stephan (new)

Stephan Hahn | 14 comments Awesome. Message me your email and I will send mine your way.


message 7: by Lydia (new)

Lydia Redwine | 27 comments Stephan wrote: "Awesome. Message me your email and I will send mine your way."

It's not letting me send you a message. Not sure why. But my email is lydia.redwine@gmail.com


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