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Critique Partners and Swaps > Adult Fantasy Novel 99k

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message 1: by Eli (new)

Eli Breakstop-Kings (elibreakstopkings) | 2 comments Hello!

I'm looking for those sweet, sweet critiques on a fantasy novel I've completed (and totally down to swap). It's the first one I've finished, so it's going to be rough. I'm struggling with the beginning a lot (swinging wildly from too much exposition to so little it's confusing). I have some other concerns, but I tend to overedit so I'm holding back until I have objective feedback.

I'm planning a ground up re-write. What I need most is someone to really point out what the like and don't like in this version so I know what not to do going forward (in this novel or others). If you're a first time CP or beta reader (or someone who doesn't like hurt feelings) this is a good starting point since I won't be bothered if you told me all 99k words needed to be changed. I appreciate feedback and promise to take my licks with grace.

About the novel (in its current incarnation):

Genre: Fantasy, Adult
Sub-Genre: LGBT, Male and Female protagonists
Length: 99k
POV: 3rd Person Limited, 2 protagonists
Trigger Warnings: graphic violence, nudity, explicit language
Document: Word or Google Docs (open to others if needed)

P1: After a few years of relative peace, Eduardo Trujillo’s poor luck catches up with him. He kills his boyfriend, gets several bones broken by a semi-divine dog, and stumbles across the body of the royal advisor in a storage room, a man who was supposed to be long dead. Eduardo volunteers to escort the unconscious man to a new hiding place in the north before anyone else learns he’s still alive. When his wagon goes missing with the advisor inside, Eduardo is forced to accept the help of the man’s ex-wife and demonic would-be murderer or risk losing the life he’s lied so hard to build.
P2: Woken from an involuntary but surprisingly restful sleep by her latest keeper, Damoyaga learns of her ex-husband’s survival and sets out on a mission to punch her fist through his face. Not having any idea where to look, Damoyaga has no choice but to team up with the ignorant priest helping the bastard recover his power. Together with a few other not-quite-useless companions, Damoyaga is certain she’ll be eating the advisor’s heart before his sycophant can find him a new rabbit hole to scurry down.

message 2: by Zack (new)

Zack | 13 comments HI Eli,

I'd be glad to take a look at your work. I've recently finished my Sci-fi/Fantasy novel and could also use some feedback. 3rd person limited, 2 protagonists, 129k words. Hit me up if you're interested in doing some partnering and I can tell you more about my book -

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