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Hannah Schuck > Fantasy ..... WIP?

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message 1: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Well here is where I shall place snippets from the story I'm working on... or series rather. I have no names what - so - ever .... so if anybody has ideas or suggestions I am all ears. Sorry about the mix up in my stories.... the Lord called me to write this one instead so I changed a bit but not everything..... And I'm off on another adventure..... XD

Snippet from the prologue ~

Her mother stifled a giggle as Kavonna nodded, "Sorry Ruter. May I ask why we are here?"

Ruter's face turned grim, "The people of Scythia are in utter need of Jesus. Their souls bareback as ashes. You were summoned to Scythia to reach them with the light. But do know if you chose to stay you can't ever return. Nor May you speak of the summoning freely."

Kavonna gasped looking to her parents, "Can't ever return?"

Her father nodded, "To each man it is own decision." Turning to Ruter he gave an affirmative, "I will stay."


message 2: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments ( *moans* Why must there be so many typos....!!? ) bareback..... = *are black ( don't ask me how I got it so mixed up.... probably kindle spelling errors.... *lol )


message 3: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Ooh, this is interesting. Why won't they ever be able to return?


message 4: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments It has a lot to do with me.... 1 - I wanted it to be different from other fantasy worlds where humans come and return. 2 - I personally hate it when the characters have to return home instead of staying with their "fantasy world" friends. 3 - It's important to the story that the characters ( humans ) stay in the world ..... it has something to do with the "summoning" ( but I honestly haven't figured that part out yet... XD ) and how others have gotten their.

So between all three of those answers I hope I helped.... mainly it's because of my personal preference.


message 5: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "It has a lot to do with me.... 1 - I wanted it to be different from other fantasy worlds where humans come and return. 2 - I personally hate it when the characters have to return home instead of st..."

So your characters are originally from earth and they decide to go to a fantasy world?


message 6: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Some of my characters are from earth and others are creatures I have put in my world. The humans that are in my story don't necessarily want to leave earth but have been summoned to Scythia for a specific mission ( which is why the humans that are in Scythia are so few..... because not very many have been summoned... ).

I hope that helps...?


message 7: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Some of my characters are from earth and others are creatures I have put in my world. The humans that are in my story don't necessarily want to leave earth but have been summoned to Scythia for a s..."

Yes, it does! That sounds really interesting and unique :P

I just have one more real quick question. What time era are the people from earth from? Modern times or are they from the medieval era?


message 8: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet from chapter 1 ~

Kavonna picked up the girl carefully and laid her down upon the catiji's back, "An accident! The girl has been wounded and is in need of urgent care! Lightflower you must be ever so swift and careful!"

The dark cat looked back at Kavonna while she tied the phagon securely with vines, "The humitory has sent for you! How are you to get back?"

Wiping a few stray tears away Kavonna spoke quickly, "I am of no worry! Just get the girl to Yula's cottage!"

"You are the King's daughter --"

Kavonna interrupted Lightflower, "Go, Please!"

The catiji turned her head away and upon unfolding her shadowy wings, took flight.

A few words you don't understand ~

* humitory = Group of elders who work as the King's advisors.

* catiji = A large cat - like creature that has blunt wings for flying through woody areas. Powerful winged fighters. ( The description will be more lengthy in the book.... )

* phagon = This is a person/creature in my Fantasy World. Their skin color is brown or green and they have tails to help them keep balance. They are exceptionally good at tracking and moving through forested areas ( which is where they live... ). ( The description for phagons will be longer in the book... )


message 9: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Well.... like the early 1900s ..... but I don't have to worry to much about the time period because the adventure will be in Scythia! XD


message 10: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Well.... like the early 1900s ..... but I don't have to worry to much about the time period because the adventure will be in Scythia! XD"

Hmm, interesting. What made you choose the 1900's? True, but if your characters are from earth then, there are certain things like modesty standards, fashion styles, speech and the sort that will be different in other time eras :P


message 11: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Well... lots of people have gone fore the medieval times so I left that time era be.... and ( let's be honest ) present time isn't such a nice thing to write about... ( *cough* ) So early 1900s was my choice...

The thing is for my characters I skip ahead 7 years so they are already used to Scythia and it's people... now for the newly summoned humans I shall have fun adding all those details in.. XD


message 12: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Well... lots of people have gone fore the medieval times so I left that time era be.... and ( let's be honest ) present time isn't such a nice thing to write about... ( *cough* ) So early 1900s was..."

Hmm... interesting.


message 13: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Thanks.... I think *shifts eyes*


message 14: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet from chapter 2 ~

Kavonna was starting to wonder if she truly knew her father. It seemed there was so much she did not know about him. "Father why is there so many secrets I've never heard you speak of before?"

A dark and frightening wind storm was approaching on the horizon. Squinting King Dayton studied it before pulling back in surprise, "We must finish this conversation later!" Tapping underneath his dragon's wings Dayton urged his beast upwards, "We must get into the fyr!"

Speaking to his dragon, Dayton conversed in different tones, "Bonebreaker, you musssst get me into the fffyr!"

Kavonna tapped her dragon also, rocketing further up into the clouds, "What!? We can't breath in the fur! Only Phoenixes and Sabar dragons can fly that high and still live!"

( Some words that you don't understand will appear shortly in the 'Mysterious Creations' section... )


message 15: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Snippet from chapter 2 ~

Kavonna was starting to wonder if she truly knew her father. It seemed there was so much she did not know about him. "Father why is there so many secrets I've never heard ..."


Oooh... dragons.... :)


message 16: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments I figured you would like that part!!


message 17: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet from chapter three ~

Rubbing her arm Ipealia limped towards the entryway, "They can jump twenty feet in the air. They can break an entire door down by punching it. They can be quieter than a cat. They can fight Ishyon." Turning back to look Kavonna in the eyes her voice hardened, "They can strike fear."

Kavonna watched as the hardened warrior moved back outside. Back to the battle grounds she had just left! Following after her Kavonna watched as Ipealia flipped onto the rooftop. A lone figure against the howling Ishyon. Wounded and battle scared, the Xatig still had enough determination to follow through with her impossible mission. Alone.


message 18: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments * EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!! *

I figured out what this series shall be called!!! I don't know what this book shall be called though.... XD

The series shall be named ~ Darkness Is Rising

I am super hyped right now!! Major break through!!!


message 19: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "* EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!! *

I figured out what this series shall be called!!! I don't know what this book shall be called though.... XD

The series shall be named ~ Darkness Is Rising

I am super..."


GREAT TITLE! I love it :P


message 20: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments THANKS!!! Super excited!!!


message 21: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet from chapter four ~

His copper scales flashed in the dying light of the sun as he shifted positions, "She is a Phagon healer. I know nothing of her backstory nor do I make it my business to. Although..... I did see her headed for Junal along with some other villagers."

Standing Kavonna brushed her skirt off, "Junal? That's a small kingdom..... Your sure?"

Brown flickering eyes glared at her, "You doubt me? I am certain."


message 22: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet from chapter five ~

Ptain Fabrr slammed Price up against the wall, "I am this close from taking your life and blaming it on your stupidity!" throwing him to the ground Fabrr shoved his finger in Price's face, "Take her to Junal. The healer awaits and so does Raja."


message 23: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Snippet from chapter five ~

Ptain Fabrr slammed Price up against the wall, "I am this close from taking your life and blaming it on your stupidity!" throwing him to the ground Fabrr shoved his fin..."


Let's see.... A healer awaits..... So this could only mean that someone is in danger! =o Love the snippet, Hannah.

I have been taking a look at the previous snippets and this book/series sounds COOL!!! I mean a Christian fantasy with creatures, DRAGONS!!! I want to know more about this world. =p


message 24: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Hey thanks!! That's super encouraging.... I could use some encouragement right now....

Um yeah!! Dragons, just HAVE to be in my book.... XD

The world is called ~ Scythia

You can get more info about it in any other of my folders! :) If you want more info that is.... xd


message 25: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet ~

Kavonna gasped, She was to be married!? To whom!? She smiled to cover up her surprise, "How could I forget? When shall we be arriving?"

Ptain Fabrr turned his head away from Kavonna, "It depends on how many delays we have, flower."


message 26: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Snippet ~

Kavonna gasped, She was to be married!? To whom!? She smiled to cover up her surprise, "How could I forget? When shall we be arriving?"

Ptain Fabrr turned his head away from Kavonna, "I..."


*chokes on water* well, that escalated quickly.


message 27: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Hey thanks!! That's super encouraging.... I could use some encouragement right now....

Um yeah!! Dragons, just HAVE to be in my book.... XD

The world is called ~ Scythia

You can get more info a..."



*Grins* I had other night off so I took the time to catch up on some threads. =D

Scythia.... Hmmm.... I love it!

So, quick question.... I saw that this is your rewrite of The Kings Daughters, so are you still making this a Rapunzel retelling?

Plus I like the Xatig Warrior's because of *cough* I like both of the characters Evan and Ptain Fabrr. I'm not sure what side of the fence they are on yet, but no matter, I liked what I read about them so far.


message 28: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Snippet ~

Kavonna gasped, She was to be married!? To whom!? She smiled to cover up her surprise, "How could I forget? When shall we be arriving?"

Ptain Fabrr turned his head away from Kavonna, "I..."



Oh, and by the way Kavonna.... You're getting married!!!

*Gulp, cough, sputter* This news is going to be hard to swallow for her.


message 29: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Oh man... thanks guys! Encouragement load down! I needed that....

No I decided I didn't want to write a romantic book..... ( I mean it's still gonna have romance... but that's not what the books about.... ) It's full fledged Fantasy!

I don't even know where the name Scythia came from, but it's what I got! XD

Yeah Evan - Ptain Fabrr they are my boys... ( men ... xd ) I love e'm.... well okay I'm kinda upset about the path they've chosen, but *shrugs shoulders* It had to happen.

Oh man... yeah this story is action packed ( is there ever to much action in a book? ) It escalates really fast.... I don't think Kavonna is quite prepared. At. All.


message 30: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet ~

Dragons took to the sky and Kavonna watched as her hope fled from sight. One Xatig ( probably the leader of this mission ) took the time to bow Thracion style and tearing his proud eyes from her, followed his band into the sky.

A hand clasped her shoulder, "I don't understand what you just did, but it's going to kill you."


message 31: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Oh man... thanks guys! Encouragement load down! I needed that....

No I decided I didn't want to write a romantic book..... ( I mean it's still gonna have romance... but that's not what the books a..."


Rapunzel retelling or not I am pretty sure this fantasy story is going to be great. ;)

I put in your world's name, Scythia, in Microsoft Translator the other night just to see how it would pronounce it and it has a wonderful ring to it. =)

Yeah, Evan and Ptain Fabrr might have not chosen the right path at least yet. *fingers crossed as I still have hope for them* But characters going down the wrong paths makes the BEST stories.

The only time I can think that a book has too much action is when it goes off plot. But other than that, then no, there can never, ever be too much action. The more things the character goes through the better. *Does evil laugh* Poor Kavonna.


message 32: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Snippet ~

Dragons took to the sky and Kavonna watched as her hope fled from sight. One Xatig ( probably the leader of this mission ) took the time to bow Thracion style and tearing his proud eyes ..."


*Looks at snippet with wide eyes* Yikes! Now I'm curious what Kavonna did and if it has anything to do with her little marriage announcement problem from the other snippet.... Hmmm... The book isn't even out yet and I'm already worried about her! 😱


message 33: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Oh man.... I wonder how they pronounced it.... XD... in my book there is going to be a pronunciation key... so every one knows what the word is...

Exactly! That's why there are bad characters.... *jumps up and down* I already know how I want the cover to look!!

I'm glad you like my book so much! Your connections are quite funny..... you shall just have to see, when you read it.


message 34: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet ~

Coughing slightly he stood to his full height, "I might know where the princess is Ptain."

"You might?" Fabrr asked barely keeping his cool, "I spend anxious hours awaiting news. I worry over my punishment. I spend time and energy searching. I think of underserved treatment. And THIS WHOLE TIME YOU MIGHT KNOW WHERE SHE IS!!?" His voice rose with each word he spoke until the end he was shouting at Evan, spittle flying from his mouth.


message 35: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Oh man.... I wonder how they pronounced it.... XD... in my book there is going to be a pronunciation key... so every one knows what the word is...

Exactly! That's why there are bad characters.... ..."


*Jumps up and down with Hannah* Cover! Cover! Cover! Oh! I can't wait to see it!

Hehehe, I only have the snippets you give to make my connections. ;)

And, oh! I can't wait to read your book. Must. Have. Book. Soon. So. I. Know. That. Kavonna. Is. Okay. Keep writing Hannah, I'll be waiting. =D


message 36: by Grace (last edited Jul 29, 2018 03:10AM) (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Snippet ~

Coughing slightly he stood to his full height, "I might know where the princess is Ptain."

"You might?" Fabrr asked barely keeping his cool, "I spend anxious hours awaiting news. I wor..."


So Evan and Ptain Fabrr were either:

A: Supposed to protect the princess.

B: The princess was already lost, so they were hired to find her.

Or C: Evan and Ptain Fabrr actually work for the bad guys and were trying to kidnap her but she escaped. So they are trying to find her again before they get back with the bad guy's leader and are punished for what they done.


Either way it sounds like they will be punished if they don't find her. And Evan is in danger of Ptain Fabrr losing his cool for not telling him where the princess might be.

You're keeping me hanging Hannah. Lol.

Well, even if Evan and Ptain Fabrr happen to be working for the bad guys, (which I have no idea if they are or not) I will still like them. *Arms crossed against chest*


message 37: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments I'm glad you are so hyper about my book! The cover. Has. To. Be. Perfect.

Ha ha I can't wait to see what you come up with .... oh I am writing... trying to get at least 300 words a day into my story... most of the time over that. I finished chapter 10 yesterday... major breakthrough!! :)

Oooh I can't tell you... but one of those is correct.

Haha..... -_- If only I could tell you...... *zips lips*

That's my point! 😊😂

Yes! That's a good girl! Someone who is stubborn about liking my characters!! 😄 ( If only you knew...... *sobs* )


message 38: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Yes! Because the cover is what usually tells the reader, "Pick me up and read me!" And it is going to be beautiful!

*Does happy dance* Yay Hannah! Chapter TEN!!!

*Gasp* I was close? One of my suspicions about the princess was correct? Now I wonder which one it was..... Hmmm.... (Hannah is keeping me forever in suspense.)

*Sobs with Hannah* Now I think something is going to happen to my favorite characters or they are going to do something bad. *Pats characters on heads* Don't hurt them! Lol


message 39: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Exactly! Which is why it's got to be perfect! ;)

I'm at a pause right now but I hope to get more written this afternoon. ( That's a good thing... XD )

Ummm...... yeah. I - I shall try not to.... harm them... *grimaces*

Snippet ~

Ptain Fabrr was at the ground stone when Evan came up to take a small drink of water. Turning to him the Ptain's eyes watched him coldly, "The recups are gone along with all our left over water. You were on watch this morning, do you know something about this?"

Shaking his head darkly Evan looked out at the trees, "Nope. But for all I know we are being stalked, so it doesn't surprise me."

Fabrr clenched his teeth together, "Stalked? How long have you known?"

Evan brushed his hand through his hair before replying, "Since yesterday night, but I was only certain ------"


message 40: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "Exactly! Which is why it's got to be perfect! ;)

I'm at a pause right now but I hope to get more written this afternoon. ( That's a good thing... XD )

Ummm...... yeah. I - I shall try not to......."


Hmm, missing water, they are being stalked? Uh-oh. Both Evan and Ptain Fabbrr need to be on their best guard. 😱

Great snippet!


message 41: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Thanks! xD.... Still working on connecting all the lose ends...


message 42: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments snippet ~


Two dark smiles flickered over both men's faces and they stalked back to the clearing eager to be off. For Evan in particular was ready to see old Wren again, but the darkness in his reason was most certainly evil.

_________________________________________________________

Yes I know.... short snippet, but I had to post that part... *grins evily*


message 43: by Nicki (new)

Nicki Chapelway | 2171 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "snippet ~


Two dark smiles flickered over both men's faces and they stalked back to the clearing eager to be off. For Evan in particular was ready to see old Wren again, but the darkness in his re..."


Great work, Hannah! And intriuging excerpt :P


message 44: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "snippet ~


Two dark smiles flickered over both men's faces and they stalked back to the clearing eager to be off. For Evan in particular was ready to see old Wren again, but the darkness in his re..."


Darkness and evil and Evan is involved. *Shivers* *Colder Shivers Goes Down Spine*

Who is this Wren guy? (I wonder)

Hehe, dark scenes are the best!


message 45: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments @Nicki - Thanks *beams brightly*

@Grace - Yeah.... sorry ( not ) Dark scenes are okay... they are evil and fun to write about, but I like the victory and light scenes better. ( if you know what I mean? )


message 46: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments "They are beautiful names....."

An almost awkward silence filled the air before Kavonna dared to ask another question, "I heard mention of a WrenWick.... is that the place we are going to or someone's name?"

The man stiffened before guiding Darkshadow under the canopy shelter of leaves. The rest of the neighorines plunged into the thicket after him and disappeared into the shady forest. Kavonna pulled her neighorine to a stop and studied the trees. A sudden fear of dread trickled up and down her spine when --------


message 47: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: "@Nicki - Thanks *beams brightly*

@Grace - Yeah.... sorry ( not ) Dark scenes are okay... they are evil and fun to write about, but I like the victory and light scenes better. ( if you know what I ..."


Totally! The victory and light scenes makes me smile and reminds me that there is always hope.


message 48: by Grace (new)

Grace Morris | 457 comments Hannah Schuck wrote: ""They are beautiful names....."

An almost awkward silence filled the air before Kavonna dared to ask another question, "I heard mention of a WrenWick.... is that the place we are going to or someo..."


Hmm.... I am now very curious to know who or what or where this WrenWick is.... Hmmm....

Hmmm.... sounds like they are being hunted? By something bigger than a neighorine?


message 49: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Hmm.... I wonder XD

Okay here I'm gonna help your imagination for a sec, neighorine is technically a horse except there is a couple details that set them apart, but their movements and body figure is all horse.


message 50: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth Dragina | 1745 comments Snippet ~

A sense of curiosity filled Kavonna and she in turn spoke gruffly so as to hide the tiny bit of fear that threatened to overcome her, "What is it to you?"

Stalking forward the stranger made a snorting sound, "One would think if you were lost you would accept the help to return home, not gauff at the person who offered their assistance."

Kavonna made a mental note never again to play the word game with a stranger, "How do you know where I need to go?"

Shaking his head slightly the man put his fingers to his lips and blew, creating a musical song one would hear in the breeze, "I only listen." he gestured to the light breeze as it tossed the end of his cloak into the air.


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