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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Science Fiction blurb

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message 1: by Marshall (new)

Marshall S. | 26 comments Hi everyone. This is about the third edit for this, even after I changed up the plot of my complete story. The name is constantly changing too. Made it shorter as well. Let me know what you think, thanks.

After Augustine was built, she was always reminded that the colonists would be difficult to understand. From her robotic form, to her now-human form, she had only understood terraforming, and peace along with her fellow Preforms, the ones who made Boea a living planet.
She welcomes the new people to their world, but becomes angered and confused by their customs. Especially by the deity they worship, the Goddess, who terrorizes her mind. As they make themselves at home, the colonists learn more about these strange people called Preforms. They learn that when applied to torturous machinery, the Preforms are found to manipulate space-time for instantaneous travel, which they are exploited for.
Many Preforms disappear all over her world, where Augustine begins her search to bring them all back. Oblivious of her prized ability, not only must Augustine find her missing people and her love, but she must uncover the mystery of what she is, and where she really came from. All while the Goddess rides along her shoulders.
The Chain is a 101,940-word science fiction novel.

message 2: by Keith (new)

Keith Oxenrider (mitakeet) | 1168 comments I can't say that I'm sold on it, though haven't been able to say why. I do feel sure it can be shortened and cleaned up to be made more dynamic and on point, maybe that would help. I'm not in a position to help with that now, though.

It would probably be a good idea to either continue your earlier thread(s), or at least link back to them, so people can see the evolution.

message 3: by Hajar (new)

Hajar Ali | 18 comments Terraforming- that's a concept that wasn't really explained. Is it necessary to introduce the concept in the blurb?

Liked the bit about the Preforms- their special abilities, what they are exploited for, and the fact that several Preforms have started disappearing- these three points in themselves could constitute a really good blurb?

message 4: by Marshall (new)

Marshall S. | 26 comments Thanks again Keith for the input! Yeah if there's one thing I struggle with, it's chopping things up. Definitely need to keep things shorter. Thanks also, Hajar. I might explain the terraforming part, but since I have a little more words than what I need, I may cut that part altogether.

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